Monday, September 28, 2009

History

Before Michael Jackson used that word (history) for one of his CD sleeves, my mother was given that word by God in a manner that was a message in of itself. History is His story, His meaning Jesus. We know His history for it is what we have built our faith. He hid nothing yet the mystery The Word speaks of is the search for the Kingdom Life at the ready for those who believe (Mark 4:11 KJV).

I have to refer to that pastor I mentioned in previous posts who was teaching on his rules to Christian dating because he couldn't find such things in the scriptures. He said that those who are purposed in their heart to marry (paraphrasing) should be able to talk about their relationship history. Reason being, the intended should never be confronted  and shocked by someone stating intimate details of the past to make it seem as though it is current. Meaning, people get jealous and they tell one another. If these tales gets back to an ex (one that's been sexual) and it breaks up the current potential relationship or causes to have a 1 on 1 with mentioning scars or tattoos that one would only be able to see if the person were in the nude, how would the potential mate feel towards you? The pastor mentioned that the past relationships should be discussed because of children that have been birthed from these relationships.

I listened and though to some degree I had to agree with the pastor; however, there was something about that, that just bothered me. I had to pray.

Put yourself in the shoes of someone to receive an earful of a long tumultuous sexual history without marriage. The more you hear, would there be more questions? Or would it be the more you hear the more disgusted you would be? Would it be the more you hear, the more you wish you never started anything with the one dating? What is the outcome going to be? One really has to see that from all perspectives to understand that's a very personal, explicit prayer to the Lord before embarking on a tell all you can remember fest.

These days people do all sorts of things I wouldn't dare imagine much less desire to hear it said to me. I'd wonder if that desire would be a struggle for him not to return to. Could a man over look all of the men she was with in search for love? Could he understand the children by different fathers? Could he be fine with the past abortions, children taken by the state, or those adopted by other families? From those angles, it is a heavy load that no one should be able to carry . So why speak of it? Let the past be the past. God has forgiven you. Why would you need this person, whom you intend  to date (for the purpose of marriage) to forgive you too?

Actually, you don't . God has forgiven and doesn't condemn (Luke 6:37 KJV). Guilt from the past comes from insecurity which is euphemised fear. We already know there is no fear in God. So the decision is clear, isn't it?

That pastor is right. Just as Jesus didn't hold anything back from us, we follow Him. The Word tells us to draw nigh to Him and He will draw nigh to us (James 4:8 KJV). Jesus said they that hunger and thirst after righteousness shall be filled (Matthew 5:6 KJV). Therefore our faithfulness in church, studying the Word, applying it to our lives everyday is that close relationship in its full development. We got to know Him. We learned how to love because He first loved us. His story is easy to incorporate. It helps us to understand the need for Him.

The need is ever so much more necessary in Christian dating when one's past has not been dramatic as the other. To the immature Christian that listener will feel the burden placed heavily upon him/her. The speaker, whether mature or not  will sigh in relief. Maturity sighs because knowing there is no guilt. Immaturity sighs because the burden is no longer his but given to the listener to carry. This,  if you don't see it, is an orchestrated test for both parties. Only the mature in Christ will see if there is a future with the other.

The mature Christian will know that the burden is the Lord's (Psalms 55:22 KJV). Maturity can see worry in the other. Knowing that worry is a sin he/she has the answer as to what to do next. The shocked expression without recovery of Wisdom, speaks foolishly. Maturity doesn't make a verbal respond because arguing doesn't promote righteousness (James 1:20 AMP). The slow to speak attitude allows the response of immaturity to rise (James 1:19 KJV). Peace is what you seek. Listen for the quietness; for it is the effect of righteousness (Isaiah 32:17 KJV). History is nothing but the past but with it being forgotten you look more and more like Him. The mate you choose should be the equivalent to that.

Sunday, September 20, 2009

Pitiful!

What caused you to invite that specific woman for a date? Why did he ask you out? If asked, would you have an acceptable answer? I have asked my date what was he thinking when asking me out. I have a number of answers; however, knowing now what I do as opposed to then, none of those answers would be acceptable for a return appearance much less a conversation over the phone. They were charming, smooth and well rehearsed with every intention on getting one thing.

I know what you are thinking, "yeah, but you did go out with them." Again, I know better and much to your chagrin - no I didn't, but that's a completely different post all in of itself . This topic is about recognizing someone who likes to take advantage. Probably a wolf in the making, though not entirely; just as exhausting to deal with.

At my job, there is a woman who is legally blind (this means she can see images though not clearly enough to correct with prescriptive glasses). I answer emergency calls and her alert went off. When I answered her call, she beckoned me to her room to explain that she is blind and her cat must have been playing with  the dangling cord. She will have a talk with her. She chuckled, I didn't. It wasn't yet 6:00 o'clock in the morning. She didn't think I knew she wasn't completely blind nor did she see me when she was admitted into the building and she explained to her family all of the operations in the building at her convenience; pointing things out and saying what she needed from the car she just got out of. There she laid in her bed appearing catatonic and staring at the ceiling. She waved her arms around as if that would enhance her claim to being blind. Having never met me before, I said nothing else and wished her a good day. I knew what she expected of me. She waited to hear it in my voice but the wait was in vain. I could empathize with her being alone and craving some human contact; however, she was looking for pity. She was giving her best performance to create it. Like I wrote, I wished her a good day and left.

With Christian dating people can use whatever tactic they have at their disposal. Sympathy has been well used for unsuspecting babes in Christ. If pity isn't enough then it is laced with scripture and the babe is then reminded what he/she should do as though hearing the word from this person is the Holy Spirit causing guilt to action. It is a manipulative tactic. It is almost wolf like. Wolves devour and leave you limp and heart broken. Pitiful people just use you to the point of exhaustion. They hear the lack of tolerance in your voice and then just move on. The woman claiming to be blind heard this from the very beginning. She won't have another accidental alert on my shift.

Another example of this pity in effect was this guy I met in church as a teenager. He was older than me but a teen too.  His father passed away of sickle cell complications early in his life and he had the trait. Having four brothers, a mother, and step father he played the trait card and actually squeezed out tears for me to hold out my arms to hug him. Usually, at that age, his story would have worked but for some reason (knowing now what I didn't then) it wasn't working and that last ditch effort to squeeze out that tear was more comical than anything. When he saw I wasn't going for it... you had to have been there. He would talk, pause then cry, stop and peer over his shoulder, talk some more, cry, peer over his shoulder to see what I was doing and what was taking me so long to go and hold him. I wasn't falling for those tactics and he knew it, he walked away and we never mentioned it again. That claim that he was dying by using the sickle cell trait card, that was over 30 years ago and he is still walking around to this day.

I dated a guy who told me that I caused so much sexual desire in his loins that his genitals would turn blue. He claimed to be in much pain at night while trying to sleep. Having no insight as to what men go through when excited without any sexual release, I almost felt responsible and if he heard that in my voice he would have had me. Since then I tell that to certain men and they laugh.

Guys don't think that women understand what they are doing, believing women don't use pity to get their needs met as well. Single mothers use their children for pity. When they have overspent their budgets and need their rent paid, they use what they have to. But its a 2 way street. When these tactics are used, they guys expect the favor returned. They result of this relationship is not fulfilling at all.

There is popular term used for older women after young men is cougar. In the 60's, the popular term for the young women going after any man was a sex kitten. Boy, has times changed. Cougars know what they are doing and much like wolves, they devour and leave the leftovers for the scavengers.

The purpose of this blog is to allow you to see that dating isn't just dinner and a movie. Women expect calls back and some men try to get their money's worth especially if they are paying. But God said to owe no man nothing but to love him (Romans 13:8 AMP).

Now let's put some scripture to work letting this be rhema to you, in the name of Jesus.

Abraham looked for sympathy when he lied to King Abimelech about Sarah being his sister and not his wife. The King's kingdom dried up listening and believing the lies. You see the King wasn't left broken but noticeably lacking (Genesis 20:1-9 AMP). What Abraham did to save his own skin was just pitiful.

Saul wouldn't fight his own fight with Goliath but hid in the tent. He looked to David to be sympathetic in his plight. David, using his faith fought and won while Saul struggled with his own mental battles and lost the fight. David lacked nothing because he put his faith to work (1 Samuel 17:11; 32-37 AMP).

Remember Jesus when he saw the man laying on his bed at the healing well. He had been laying there for 38 years and wanted for someone to pity him. He exclaimed that every time the angel came to stir up the waters someone went in ahead of him. Jesus asked do you really want to be healed (John 5:1-9 AMP)? You see Jesus wouldn't allow pity to be around Him. He flipped it back on the man. The same would be true for you. Follow Jesus and flip the script on those who would have you wallow in the mire with them. Don't let it happen. Its one thing to be compassionate and helpful. Its something else when being manipulated and taken advantage of. Watch and pray so you won't become resentful and jaded to the very ones you are to be that beckon of light to (Ephesians 6:18 AMP).

Friday, September 18, 2009

Calling a Spade a Spade

Having established that there is a difference in dating the way the world does it and God's way, we (us, ladies) must also realize and be determined to live by that women were made for men and not the other way around. I know what was taught that women can do it all; however, out of that change, the Word continues to remain the same. Can we still do all that we have discovered and remain holy and acceptable unto God? Of course, God wishes above all things that His beloved (us) be in health and prosper even as our soul prospers (3 John 2 KJV). It is that abundant life. Having read that, continue to have that frame of mind when finishing this post.

We have also come to terms that desperation is for fools and God did not raise us to be that way. So leave those thoughts of no more good men or women left (for men), that biological clock, and if you don't have sex soon you will die, to those who are without. Fulfilling those fears will only lead you to having to answer to others and there is no prosperity in that.

Dating, as it has been noted earlier, is for the purpose of marriage. Men have the responsibility to interview the female of his desire for him to know that he found a good thing (Proverbs 18:22 KJV). It is how he obtains favor from the Lord. This takes time and is a process. That time must be void of trying to impress each other. He must look passed the shape of her body, length of her hair, color of her eyes, what she is wearing, how she smells, and what her lips must taste like. This is a lot to overcome, gentlemen but it is what sons of God can do. Children give into temptation everytime. Can you now see why dating is not for babes in Christ or children of God? You, men (sons of God) must have the frame of mind to ask pertinent questions before emotions and the heart gets all involved. Once emotions are attached, clear thinking doesn't return until the first argument usually about 6 weeks into the marriage. Vows have been made by then and it is not possible to turn back the clock to when you were single again.

The bottom line is dating initially isn't at all romantic. It is more business than anything else. It is one of the reasons why you must hear the voice of God. You must be able to know what it is you are looking for in a wife. She must have some idea what she won't put up with in a marriage. None of that sounds warm, fuzzy, and at the ready to do again. Yeah it is strange and takes the fun right out of what you thought dating should be. But here is the long and short of it, you aren't out thousands of dollars with dinners, movies, paying for her hair and nails and other baubles to win the heart of someone who was planning on lying, stealing, cheating, and/or leaving you in the end.

And ladies before thinking that this post was only for men, start getting a little more practical with the idea of dating. You know all of those dinners and gifts aren't going to be an on-going thing in a long term relationship. Understand that expensive gifts can cause you not to see how big the wolf's teeth really are. Why not turn down the glitz and sparkle and see if the man has any substance that is worth your time. The saying use to be "well, a girl's got to eat" but that's when she didn't know any better about Jehovah Jireh. God has provided for you. You don't have to sell yourself so cheap just to get a meal.

Now that all of that stuff is out of the way, all there is, is just the two of you. Take a good look. Would that person be worth your entire life? If you can answer that, you are ready to proceed for the next date.

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

You Are Going to Love ME!

I haven't quite figured out yet why people stay in a place where they are no longer needed, wanted or loved. It is a conundrum and must be dealt with so that each and everyone of us in Christ can be redirected to those relationships that do us the most good and stayed on the plain path of righteousness.

I worked in a place where the owner of the business finds that in order for me to remain I would have to take additional classes for him to keep his license and keep operational. I resented his request for me to go back to school being an excellent employee of a complete year and upon hire, it seemed my degree and experience was more than enough. Once I graduated (2 years prior from obtaining this job) I wasn't all that eager to go back. He said nothing else about it and neither did I. A month later my administrative assistant tells me that the owner is interviewing for my job. I confronted him and he confirmed the rumor. He said that because I didn't give him a clear indication of returning back to school, he had to do whatever he needed to stay in business. I figured if he liked my work ethic and how much money I saved him I would have thought he would do whatever he needed to keep me, convince me to go back to school, convince me how it would also be beneficial for me, sweeten the pot, encourage with a raise - something! Without him doing any of these things and being a coward as to how I was being pushed out, I no longer desired to be in his company. I resigned.

While some would have not done what I did because well, a paycheck is a paycheck; there is a principle that must be adhered to not just when attending church but in our everyday lives: if you are not received, cast the dust off and move on (Mark 6:10-12 AMP). This is what Jesus said to His disciples before they left to preach the Word throughout the land. The pearls that I gave this employer be it retraining the staff, adjusting the menu, taking much of the responsibility for many tasks off of him and crunching the numbers of his budget to save him money, he didn't recognize as being profitable. Then he would no longer be the fool if I stayed. That title would have been mine. This analogy would be true for any relationship, but for this, we are referring to those single Christians who are dating for the purpose of marriage.

Desperate people who don't believe God for everything can become very manipulative and controlling. This behavior is no longer isolated to men alone. With the increase of single mothers trying to do it all, those sons have a deficiency not knowing how to be men but "good boys" and will, if not resentful of their mothers, find a woman strong like his mother to continue to have the title of a "good boy." A good example of this is Jon and Kate Gosselin. Though Jon now while separated paints a completely different picture than Kate, there is no quandry when viewing how those girls treat their brothers. Should we wonder where they got that behavior from? The smacks men give their wives cannot be euphemised as "love taps" but they are when the wife does the elbow in the gut to her husband. I find that interesting but how interesting will it be when those little girls grow up and not learn the enormous lesson that is before us all when viewing that reality show?

We all know that God hates divorce and when we accept or decide to invite someone on a date for the purpose of marriage, there is much to consider and be able to see more than the beauty or charming person that stands before for the purpose to initially impress. If you sense that you aren't even well liked, don't let the brick have to be thrown before separating yourself from the individual or group. Even in marriage it is written if the spouse desires a divorce don't force the spouse to stay. If God doesn't force Himself on anyone, why would we?

Monday, September 14, 2009

The Purpose

There used to be a time where dates were orchestrated through parents having invested much time in their children and viewed as a precious commodity. Parents spoke to other insightful parents to see what were the values of the family before even considering the children to meet each other much less date. If the parents didn't agree instead of feuding they did not speak at all. This would have been the civil thing to do; however many did feud hence the story of Romeo and Juliet, the Hatfields and the McCoys, and so forth and so on.

Times have since changed with the scripture stating there will be mothers against daughters and fathers against sons (Luke 12:53 AMP); children do as they please without wise counsel. Dating has become a prelude to sex rather than prospects to marriage which, for a Christian, is the purpose for dating.

When going to a movie, play, or show, we tend to look to be entertained. Our concentration is on what the tickets were purchased for. To go on a date has become a point to attend one of those venues followed by or done before hand, a meal. Usually, and for Christians, it is better for the man to pay for this, but he comes away not only being slightly financially depleted but from the 3-4 hours of dating his information that he got about the female of his desires is limited to a mere hour and thirty minutes of possible conversation.You see, there is no talking during the entertainment portion of the date. Therefore, I question the purpose of it other than to delude the female of the real purpose; Christian or otherwise.

To make myself clear, I dated a man of whom I thought the relationship was serious enough to consider marriage. We had been on many dates and discussed a plethora of matters by which we were both in agreement. He would often come to my place of employment where we would have lunch together. There was this one particular time he came to ask to borrow money until his next payday where he would immediately pay me back. I never dated anyone who asked me for money and it just went against the core of my being. I told him no. He was surprised and though I didn't plan to be entertained I continued to watch the show he displayed before me. What was a simple matter of disagreement changed into a detailed list of every date we went on and how much money he spent on me. He was looking to get a return on his investment and expected it immediately. Who would have thought to hear such a request? Being shocked, could the voice of the Lord be heard in the midst of this? Sons of God would have heard His voice clearly; children would react from what was being displayed. Yet, knowing the difference would be a different subject to write about entirely. So more about that later.

Though dating is up to the man to ask the woman of his desire for her time, these days those lines have blurred trying to make the biblical way archaic. Man ask women because it is up to him to find the good thing and obtain favor from the Lord (Proverbs 18:22 KJV). Women can make the attempt to convince the man that she is good but unless it is rhema to him, she becomes "good" for a night (a quickie) and that's not good. Reason being, an aggressive woman for the purpose of dating, causes the roles to change. Should the man therefore be passive? If he is not willing to change his role, then there is conflict. It may not rise instantly, but it will arise.

In Song of Solomon the woman searches for her true love. That, not being, her role the villagers see her search as being evil and beat her(Song of Solomon 5:6-8 KJV). I can see why some women would view that verse as archaic; however in Revelation, the Lord refers returning back to your first love being Him (Revelation 2:4 AMP). Why would we search for anyone else? They that hunger and thirst after the Lord shall be filled(John 6:35 KJV). If she searches for the Lord, this will make her complete. This completion now makes her a good thing and ready to be found. However, a desperate search for any other man makes her lose her focus, she is then not where she should be and therefore the man she prayed for is not able to see where she is. She is in the wrong place at the wrong time. Understand that it all works together. There is an order in that we find our path and flow by the guide of the Holy Spirit.

We can listen to the Wisdom early while we can find or act on the desperation cries of emotion and lie in regret. Hearing a man list how much money he spent on the amount of dates he has been on with you is the Holy Spirit saying, "RUN!!!" Some women may believe he is her only chance of happiness and disregards  the voice of Wisdom. It has happened too many times to count.

Archaic as it may be to have our parents be the matchmakers for us because even their noble purpose became unclear when padding the trousseau was involved to be exchanged by the parents and for the parents. For the love of money being the root of all evil (1 Timothy 6:10 KJV), the welfare of the children was secondary. But God changes not. Him being good and the Father of us all, have we lost sight of His matchmaking skills? You cannot bribe Him. You cannot get any better of a mate than who you portray yourself to be. The odds are consistently favorable with Him. Not even your best attempts to do it yourself could match His designs.

Sunday, September 13, 2009

Test Taking TIme

Ah tests, remember you were given tests in school to prove to your teacher (as well as her supervisor) that she was doing her job and you were actually retaining the information. God does the same thing. You learn something new from Him, whether it is applying the Word to the problem or Him telling you something is being stirred up, how you handle it determines whether you proceed to the next level or ready to go back around that mountain.

In the dating scene the tests are given to potential mates by the other just to see what the temperment, attitude, problem solving skills, discipline to temptation, or if  there are any impulsive tendencies. These tests are not isolated to women administering them to men; whichever the case, it's a universal no-no.

Yup, there are entirely too many people that believe it is the norm to give such an exam to see the potential the individual has to be a mate. Who taught this lesson to do and why did it take? To answer both of those questions all we have to do is go to church. Not only can we see it happen, it has been preached about over and over. Funny thing is, in those sermons there wasn't one verse of scripture mentioned - not one. Because it is just not in there.

God is not a man that He should lie. Therefore, He would not tell us to do anything opposite to His Word. The Word is the truth. It is the truth that sets you free. So how then would He oppose what He has for you and me to be free?

Tests given to each other is a cry for help. The test giver doesn't trust God, doesn't walk by faith, nor will he/she ever be satisfied with who he/she is dating.

If God tells you this is the one, why would he/she need your kind of test? Didn't God already do that? If you need to see what the other would do in your created problem, situation, or specific issue, then you have put your faith at risk by seeing results that you created. Not believing what God has done by saying otherwise puts you in an indecisive category of whom will receive nothing from God (James 1:6-8 AMP). For one who is not content has already opposed God's Word.

Simply stated, if God tempts no man to evil and He is the greater one on the inside of you, why would you? Why would you deliberately pick a fight with someone just because you never had a fight with him/her before and you needed to see what he/she would do? The Word says, "surely the churning of milk bring forth butter, and the wringing of the nose brings forth blood; so forcing wrath bring forth strife (Proverbs 30:33 AMP)."

When my now ex-husband and I were dating, I noticed how easy going and agreeable he was with me. I don't know whether I heard it on T.V. or read it in a book or magazine but I had it in my mind that it was healthy for a relationship to argue. So I asked him about it  and he chuckled. He knew more Word (at the time) than me back then so his levity at my topic of discussion gave me all the juice I needed to pick a fight with him. No matter how much I tried, he wouldn't argue. Later, when we married, I don't think we had a full two weeks of being newlyweds before all he could do was pick, pick, pick and nag, nag, nag! Vows were already spoken then. I felt trapped.

It is a testimony. Take it and use for the Wisdom that is; just remember when you start stirring stuff up that you forgot you put in, don't be surprised with what you get. The Word tells us how can two walk together unless they agree (Amos 3:3 KJV). God doesn't mismatch. Let Him be the test giver and examine the results for He is the one who can see the heart of man (1 Samuel 16:7 KJV).

Monday, September 7, 2009

The Foundation

In the dating basics what should already be laid before building of anything is a sure foundation. The Word tells us that if a house is built on sand it will fold at the first gust of wind but built on a rock will cause the house to stand in the midst of a storm (Luke 6:47-49 AMP).

In Christianity, the rock to which I am referring is Love. Without love there is no Christianity. All of the works, thoughts, and gestures mean nothing. The Word tells us this (1 John 2:5-6AMP).

There must be some sort of practice set for this walk of love by which we can hang all of the commandments and the prophets on: to love the Lord with all of our heart, mind, and strength; also to love our neighbor as we would love ourselves (Matthew 22:37-40 AMP). This constant practice makes life so much easier. It is a little rocky at first much like a baby trying to take his first steps but just like the baby enduring those toddling years eventually walking is a habit and soon to be on his way running where stumbling isn't as often as it once was. This is what God looks for in each of us. Without this practice and still wailing  for a spouse, you get the yoke of what you are equal to (2 Corinthians 6:14 KJV). Look at yourself, your life and attitude - especially when praying to God. Would you like to be married to you? Why would you put anyone else through that?

I raised my children to have some things in place before seeking a spouse. I taught them these things early so they would not make the same mistakes. Though they didn't understand  it when I first taught them, they do understand now and also know who not to date. They listen closely to what people say because they know people will tell you about themselves if you know how to listen.

Wolves come to prey on sheep. Yet if never taught to know what a wolf looks like, the innocence of the individual can be fooled and devoured. I don't wish that for my children or anyone. Would you know what a wolf says or are you him?

A wolf doesn't know how to love but himself. He seeks his own gratification, satisfaction, and manipulates anyone who can give him that which he seeks. Addiction, obsession, oppression, and domestic violence is the sum total of a wolf finding innocence. Wolves, when dating, will speak of change and it is always the other that should change and not himself. If he can get the other to change he knows he has been allowed access to the emotions and eventually the heart.

I dated a man who was in the military. He didn't like it  when mail was called (before the internet) and everyone else got a letter except him. When he came back on leave he was upset with me for not sending him at least a card. We talked on the phone a few times and went to the movies once; I didn't know I was then obligated to write to him (Romans 13:8 AMP). I said nothing but allowed him to express himself. When he went back on duty, he sent me a poem on a display board written in his style of calligraphy. I still didn't write him back. He soon got the message (pun intended).

Some may have seen what I did as being mean. Those views is what wolves prey one. It is called being vulnerable; wolves call it sympathy. For men it is the intensity of a make out session. She gets him all riled up to the point of yearning and then she pulls away for her to get her own type of gratification. She asks for things you would not normally give. Then she pounces. If you indulge in sex before marriage, it will be phenomenal for that first time and then she will have you. Either it is with a pregnancy, a disease, financial obligation, or she could just be the kind who likes to stalk a man. Yes, wolves come in both sexes.

If you know nothing else about the pitfalls of dating, know that the practice of love covers a multitude of sins (1 Peter 4:8 AMP). If you can remain calm while trusting in God with everything - the wolf cannot touch you. In fact, he won't see you. The practice of love keeps you covered in the shadow of His wings (Psalms 91:1-4 AMP).

Sunday, September 6, 2009

Dating Basics

Dating is a choice that we make but for what purpose? Do we date to be seen by the in crowd so that it will be asked later if the two of you are serious or are you really serious about one another to the point of finding the wife and obtaining favor from the Lord? It is not a place where we can dip the tip of our toe into and then decide that we are no longer interested. People are not like they once were. Many are desperate and the least sign of interest will cause a stir in our social circle most commonly known as the church.

Those signs of desperation is not exclusive to women. Men have been seen looking across the congregation at any new member who doesn't know his usual moves and rapping techniques. With all of the media focusing on sex at one point or another, it gets really difficult to keep a focus on temperance and all of the other fruit of the Holy Spirit (Galatians 5:22-23 KJV). The tendency to get those physical needs met takes a precedence and before we know it, the faith we were raised to believe that will carry us through it all is not as paramount as it use to be. What changed? Or the better question is, who changed?

Eye candy is a term used to describe what one likes to look at. We see the benefits of having eye candy when celebrities walk the red carpet with the desire of so many admirers on his arm. The fantasy then becomes that we can have this too with out all of the status that the celebrities have. Problem is the equality of such a yoke (2 Corinthians 6:14 KJV) must be in agreement or said superficial Christian will be headed down a very dark and rocky road.

So now we have three topics that need clarity in the dating arena: choices, desperation, and eye candy. You would think these topics will take a life time or at least three pages to complete and make sense of. This would only be true to those who cannot understand the basic building blocks of Christianity. First and foremost, Jesus is Lord. Then believing He is who He is takes faith and with that faith we use it as it is defined: faith is the substance of things hoped for the evidence of things not seen. Having the understanding of faith, we then walk by it and not by sight. If we cannot agree with these basic building blocks, then there is no point in you continuing to read this material. For without these basics, Christianity is a label you have put upon yourself without the practical useage God intended.

Now for the topics; God told us that life and death are in the power of the tongue and for us to choose life. If we made the decision of having life then we will and we will have it more abundantly because of our belief that God sent His only begotten Son on our behalf. Once we made the decision, that is it. We have allowed for our Heavenly Father to be just that! As I tell my children when they were small, I have decades on your few years. Why wouldn't you listen to my experience rather than experience the pitfalls of your own mistakes? If I have those decades, how much more time does the Ancient of Days Who created us have on us? He says that He knew us before we were formed in the womb. Just as He knows this about you, He knows this about everyone else. So why wouldn't you put all of your faith and trust in Him? It only makes sense doesn't it?

Desperation is a euphemism for fear. The fear in the context of dating is that all of the good men will be gone before you get your chance? All of the women will be used all up and have so much to be delivered from before you can meet them? Or the one I use to have, there won't be any saved men left? In this huge world where there are billions of people thinking the same thing - are you serious? And for the women thinking about that biological clock banging away - all I have to say is what about Sarah (Abraham) having her first child at 100. What do you have to worry about? Oh, and those eggs getting too old? Well, the Word tells us that we have what we say we have and as a man thinks so is he. God tells us to speak good things and if it is true, honest, just, pure, lovely, and of a good report - think on those things. What category will old eggs fall under? What about no more good women or men? With those questions answered, whom shall you fear, whom shall you be afraid?

As far as candy goes, whether it be for the eyes or the tummy, too much of it will make you sick. 'Nuff said!