Thursday, December 31, 2009

Be a Son, Then a Man, Before Being a Husband

My mother use to say, "a son is a son until he gets a wife; but a daughter is a daughter all of her life." Though it may have not meant much to my brother, it put enormous pressure on my sisters and myself wondering what we had to face later on. It wasn't unitl I became an adult and found hidden truths in the Word of God that delivered me from my mother's limmrick.

The generation before me worried about their golden years and the future that social security had for their children. We know that in Christ, we are already provided for (Philippians 4:19 AMP); therefore, those concerns can be casted over on Him (1 Peter 5:7 AMP) and we can resume to enjoy the promises again. However, for men, the knowledge and understanding to do that which has been uncommonly weighed upon women should be agiven. Men should not have pressure to be resonsible and stand to provide for their families. It use to be a regular practice. What's happened over these last decades that changed that?

In scriptures, the New Testament to be exact, men wouldn't allow the women to speak believing that women were the reason man fell in the first place. Not only Adam and Eve was depicted but also Sarai's reasoning with Abram which birthed Ishmael (Genesis 16:1-15 KJV). Bathsheba's infidelity with David which birthed a dead son and the insanity of Job's wife when she lost her first lot of children. These accounts would solidify beliefs in men that the women have been their downfall for hundreds of years; only if man would be what God gave him the authority to be, the outcome surely would have been different.

The Word tells us that man is the head of his wife. The woman was made for man (1 Corinthians 11:9 KJV). Because Adam and Eve and what was stated above, should he ever listen to her? The truth is in the Word. It doesn't contradict itself, it is all about what you choose to believe. If God tells us that he who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord (Proverbs 18:22 KJV), do you believe then that she is in the home being mute, only there for maid service, and marital duties then the favor can be obtained; having had accolades and praise for all she had done prior to even knowing you? Certainly not.

The problems that arose with man were not only that he listened to his wife but that he was disobedient to God. God gave instruction to Adam, Abram, and Job. Adam chose to eat the fruit. Abram chose to lie with Hagar. Job chose to sacrifice for unspoken sins. None of these decisions had anything to do with life and its benefits. How then can the woman take all of the blame?

When David danced in the streets praising God to the point of dancing out of his clothes, Michal, his wife, watched from the window and was embarrassed. She decided, once David came in, to reprimand him for not acting more like a king with some sort of decorum. What did David do? Cover himself after listening to those vile words spoken to him? Certainly not. He told Michal, in as much, for her never to speak to him in this manner again. After all that God has done including sparing her life, how dare she? David made a decision. He chose life and reaped the benefits. Michal was barren and quite honestly wasn't written about in he scriptures anymore. Not even when she died, was it recorded.

The truth is, a man must be aquainted with God and how He does what He does. It requires living a righteous, holy life. Then this son of God can seek a wife, if it is his desire to have one. He seeks a wife in a manner God tells him, having his steps ordered, having sought the Kingdom and His righteousness, and with listening ears. As much as one may enjoy the attractiveness at what he sees, what he sees may not be a wife material and therefore favor cannot be obtained. It is more than just seeing. He must hear what she says in order for him to know that with the information already adhered to from God, what he hears from the right woman will match thereby being equally yoked (2 Corinthians 6:14 KJV).

If the son of God can listen to this woman, then why why wouldn't he listen to her after the wedding ceremony? The Word tells us to submit to her husband and also continues for us to each other (Ephesians 5:21-22 KJV). Should the verse be over looked? Women have much to contribute in a marriage besides sex and maid service. If a man prohibits her from using the gifts God has given, would he be quenching the Holy Spirit (1 Thessalonians 5:18-20 KJV)? How important  is it for man to stay in the favor of God? You choose.

Monday, December 28, 2009

Jesus Did Say You Would Be Fishers of Men

A woman, I thought I knew, and I went shopping in the mall. We stopped at a perfume boutique. I was specifically looking for a scent of which I forgot the name. She was browsing and would incessantly call me to smell something she thought smelled good for herself. One aroma after another, most of her selection was the equivalence eau deaux (fragrance of) horse's behind (exaggeration, believe me). As I had mentioned to her before, even though some love the scent, I do not like smelling like food. To wit her reply was, "good luck catching a man."

What can one say after that? Recall that we no longer speak in that manner being Christian and all. She is Christian as well which refers back to the afore mentioned comment, of her being someone I thought I knew. Yet it is what I believe too many women think they must have the mind stayed on a particular goal; her's being to catch a man. That was bothersome and left me speechless momentarily.

Now that I think about it, isn't that why we buy perfume? I recall a pastor's wife telling the women in that ministry to purchase perfume for specific times. When in the mood to wear a scent for that as opposed to an every day fragrance. It was for the purpose for a husband to catch certain signals. Which would be a good enough idea as long as the woman is married to do such things. An unmarried woman would frustrate herself seeing that the word says an unmarried man would have his mind on the things of God and not the world. So this could not apply for today's single Christian woman. Then one would have to ask, would it be the goal of a single Christian woman with the desire to marry to catch a man?

To answer this question, I would have to refer to the Word. After all, it is the truth that sets us free and the truth can only be found in the Word of God. What I would hope is that those reading this would not automatically assume if it goes against what you were thinking that I must be taking the scripture out of context. I could go through the history of who is speaking and to who he/she is speaking to; but would the verse make it more or less applicable to you? You do the studying and see if after you find all of the context in order and then apply the particular verse to your life, was it better or worse for the effort? For the sake of this blog and in answering the question, I can refer to the Song of Solomon. I have used this before and if you have read any of the other postings, you can see it was not to the benfit of the woman to seek the man of her desires. I can also refer to Proverbs where it has been written the man who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor of the Lord. Of course we can depict the difference between the man finding her as opposed to her doing the finding, but it would be in vain. I would much rather refer to simply what Jesus said for us to do, seek out the Kingdom of God and His righteousness and all of these things shall be added unto you. All of what things? All of the things we hope for by faith. If we change those goals and be more focused on Him, don't things just come anyway? Hasn't that been your experience? It has been mine. So I have learned not to consider those desires for I will get them anyway.

What I do know is when we focus on satisfying the flesh then that is the harvest we will receive. Wouldn't that be the only reason for a woman to catch a man? In the parable of talents, the man who had one talent and decided to hide it in the dirt because of fear, he hid his talent in the very substance that the flesh was created. When the master heard the excuses of this man, the master was angry and had this man banished from his presence where the outcome was gnashing of the teeth. Now some might think this verse is taken out of context is not applicable here. But those believing that would be wrong.

The Word tells us that we cannot be angry with the words that we speak but must live by the fruit thereof. Therefore if a woman even says to herself that she needs to get a man (for whatever the reason) and that what she says comes to pass, can she be shocked to find that once those urges have been satisfied, that the man doesn't have a job, house, car, money, ambition, a life, etc? It is the fruit of the flesh - lack. When she divorces this man and seeks another with the same outcome; eventhough he has a job and a house but he procratinates and doesn't like his what he does and is considering early retirement without a plan or bank for the future. Again, it is lack.

 If you really thought about it, how can a woman catch a man and then he be the head of her. It wasn't his idea to get her to be his wife. It was her idea. So wouldn't it be appropriate for him to think that she will take care of him, she will provide for him, she will make sure he has all he needs to be a blessing to her? And yet, some men have these very thoughts and women don't have a problem with it - at least their not saying much about it - yet.

When one takes the Word out of context one has confusion in their life. God is not the author of confusion; therefore, take heed to what is written. You know Jesus didn't mean for women to fish for men for the purpose of our own means. He did intend for our hearts and minds to be stayed on Him so we can establish the beginnings of Kingdom Living - peace.

Thursday, December 17, 2009

Gentlemen, What Are You Looking For?

Knowing that dating has the purpose for marriage, should she assume that you are looking for a wife or would you make that known to her at the onset of the invitation? Do you think if you were forthcoming to her about your purpose it would scare her? Do you believe by not telling her right away you are  being gentle or deceitful?

I write to sons of God who know who they  are and what they seek. Sons of God know the importance of the anointing and they don't take what they see as precedence to what the voice of God tells them. Anyone else would dispute what they are about to read and with good reason. It is too much. But to those ready for the journey, let's go. The journey is to find what you are looking for - a wife (Proverbs 18:22 AMP). You know  that in order  for you to do what you've done thus far, took the anointing of God (Philippians 4:13 AMP), right? The ability that you now have as opposed to the life you were once living, you can see the hand of God,right? So then you know she must have an anointing as well as to enhance what God developed in you (2 Corinthians 6:14 AMP), right? It is like making a main course. You have a recipe to follow in order for this main dish to taste as good as you remembered. If you try to add something more to it unless you know the chemistry of certain ingredients you can enhance the flavor or destroy the whole meal. It is the same with finding a wife. God has given you gifts and talents to hear His voice (John 10:4; 27 AMP).  Hear what she tells you. Is all she is saying enhancing material (Romans 14:19 AMP) or did she say anything (even the smallest element) that you are not familiar with (Song of Solomon 2:15 AMP).

Being a good wife and mother takes an anointing to do. Though the world minimizes the importance of both, each has its own tasks of ministry. Each  has its varying  levels of ministry. Each has its varying levels  of Wisdom to do well. Each needs the skills of the Holy Spirit (1 Corinthians 12:27-31 AMP). All women don't have these skills to do these tasks. Some believe keeping their bodies in shape is important  then ruining their figure with a pregnancy. Some are in love with the experience of creating a wedding with her being the star attraction rather than the life after the gown is put back in the box. The sparkle of a diamond can move good sense to the corners of her mind believing that the stone is her bff. How else would you know that she is this way or what would you like to believe?

If your emotions have taken over your good sense, you must test yourself (1 Thessalonians 5:21 AMP). Walk away from the relationship. Tell her you need time to think for a few weeks. Is that thought too much for you to think about doing? Are you rationalizing, then you know you have become emotionally involved and aren't thinking clearly. If she reacts in that way, trying to convince you different then what you said, know you have given her too much control and she will continually try to make you do as she would like.

You see if you are trying to obtain favor from the Lord, you have to hear from Him (and so does she). Peace is the determining factor and not anxiety (1 Peter 3:4 AMP). If she is calm with what you decide to do - it is good. If she has something to add, it has to be from the Word to change your mind. Understand?

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

I Hate Hindsight!

Hindsight is an outward manifestation of direct disobedience. Though it is made into something that is good to tell the next generation not to repeat the same mistakes for the purpose of their prosperity, but only if they don't envelope seducing opposition; that which happened to the previous generation. With that understanding, it is a reason to pray before embarking to teach on said hindsight lesson.

I have come to the realization in these last 15-20 years that there aren't many who are willing to tell the younger generation of their hindsight. It is too embarrassing or is the attitude, "I got mine, you got to get yours the best way you can" stronger than to do what is right? No one likes to live in dread or regret, but isn't it just worth knowing that you changed someone else's life completely for the better to put yourself through that temporary embarrassment? More about this later.

The scripture that comes to mind for the purpose of making the topic clear is Ecclesiastes 7:26 (AMP) where Solomon speaks of idolatrous women and how they seduce one away from God. But Solomon knew this. His mother taught him in the first three chapters of Proverbs - it is all he wrote about; but foremost God had warned him beforehand. Between the time when God warned him and the building of God's temple, something happened. Was it when the queen visited him and she was in such awe of this man's wealth (2 Chronicles 9:1-6 AMP)? Would that action change a man? Or was it something else? How could Solomon have so much wisdom to solve the issues of those that come to him and not to have the present sight to see the pitfalls that swiftly came upon himself? Did Solomon lust in his heart after the queen of Sheba which caused him to marry so many of the very kind of woman God and Solomon's mother warned him not to draw near to (1 Kings 11:1-9 AMP)? Ecclesiastes 7:26 (AMP) is the hindsight by which he writes to warn the many generations after him.

I had a family doctor who for whatever reason decided to use himself as a guinea pig. The diseases he would normally prescribe or treatr his patients for optimum health, he would become fascinated and try to inflict the disease upon himself to know what it would feel like and to use the best medicines to quickly rid himself of it (them). I think he believed it would make him a better doctor having the experience himself and being able to speak to his patience on a more personable level. To some, that reasoning might be plausible; to others it would be a reason to call the board of medicine for one of its members needs a vacation! This last time I saw this doctor who told me what he did, I looked into his eyes and saw something that I hadn't before. When I asked if he was alright, he said he was and why did I ask. I told him because his eyes don't look like he alright. From that moment on, he stopped giving me direct eye contact. He knew he experimented to the extreme and wished he could turn back what he had done, though his words said otherwise - well, initially.

I watched the interview ABC had with singer, songwriter, and entertainer, Rihanna and her relationship she had with singer, Chris Brown. Though she had a childhood riddled with seeing abuse on a regular basis, she knew it was wrong, yet she maintained a relationship with an abusive boyfriend. Foresight would seem apparent to leave at the first contact of fist to face but she claimed that she loves him. How can one love another but not herself enough to keep from hurt, harm, or danger? Scripture states to love your neighbor as yourself (Galatians 5:14 AMP). It also says that God is love (1 John 4:8 AMP). Therefore, if you don't know God you don't know what love is. You cannot love yourself without knowing what love is, so how could you love your brother? How could we love one another then? This is hindsight based upon what we have done in the past stating how much we love in our relationships and then fall out of it as easy as it was to say it. That is not love.

Who could have told Rihanna during that 3 year tumultuous relationship to leave before she becomes a statistic? Didn't anyone see the bruises? Didn't anyone love her enough to speak? The Word tells us that pride goes before a fall (Proverbs 16:18 AMP). Why must we get to the fallen state before speaking up? To know to do right and not do it is a sin (James 4:17 AMP). If we think that our mere words will fall on deaf ears or that our pearls of wisdom should be cherished more then to give to someone who doesn't appreciate them, then say that when Jesus tries and judges the action you didn't take (2 Timothy 4:1 AMP). Personally, I must have the sound mind as God gave to me and believe that the pearls casted away by one still builds the treasure that is still to come (Matthew 6:19-21 AMP).

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Soul Ties Rebounds

First, understand that the soul is made up of the will, mind, and emotions. Now you know that God wishes above all things that your soul is healthy (3 John 2 AMP). With these two things in mind also add that confessions of the past cleanses that soul with a renewed mind and making those old things to pass away (2 Corinthians 5:17 KJV).

As Christians we tend to say things with our emotions that seem to sound good but it actually isn't good  at all. Let's recall being soooo in love to the point of this person being your whole world. You actually believed you were soul mates. Her eyes captivated your heart. Let's not forget the ever popular, you are my whole life. Saying these things didn't make the experience of being together anymore fulfilling. Those words only kept emotions ignited to the point of sexual temptation. Some held on until vows were spoken at the court house while others succombed to those vey words spoken. The sexual experience temporarily enhanced what was felt but eventually reality, which never left, cleared away all of those rose colored glasses that had been flung in the heat of passion. Jobs are still necessary. Bills still have to be paid. Laundry still needs to be done and "your whole world" would like to spend some alone time without you.

Stunned, you try to remain cool and agree just to keep the relationship together knowing that "alone time" means the sex wasn't altogether there, its going to be a slow breakup, exclusivity has not been established, maybe it was this or probably that - your mind is reeling. It doesn't take long yet that which you feared came upon you and it is over.

Though what I described was the demise of a relationship, this can also be a divorce, when someone passes away, or when the spouse is estranged and the waiting has been longer then expected. Those words that were spoken at the height of the relationship didn't disappear. You made that person your whole life and world. Your depression can be explained by what you have said. Your broken heart was made when you said that her eyes captivated it and now that the relationship is over, you will never see those eyes again. You imprisoned yourself with the words you spoke. Also if that estranged or insensitive person was your soul mate, what does that say about you? He/she left you destitute or without notice or didn't tell you and started dating someone else or sued you or evicted you out of the combined residence or called you out of your name, or stole money from you, or whatever that thing was. You connected your soul to that person soley from what you spoke and forgot about.

Alright let's make it as plain as it can be. God spoke and created all in 6 days, right? Greater is He that is in us, right? We learn to be more like Him by walking in love, right? Out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks, right? As a man thinks so is he, right? Can we not speak to the mountain to be removed? So what have you been allowing your emotions to say? Those words have staying power.

Repent, to allow those soul ties to be broken. New relationships aren't as vibrant and exciting not because of it being a rebound; its what was said. That soul mate is gone. That relationship is over. Your world (with that person) is over. Your life (as you thought it was) is over. Your heart cannot be captivated again; it is still imprisoned unless you confess, repent, and forgive. You don't ever let any person but Jesus be your whole life, world, or anything else. Nothing captivates you because Jesus came to set the captives free. To say otherwise is foolishness. Let Jesus be Lord of all having your heart and mind stayed on Him so peace can be obtained (Isaiah 26:3 KJV) and Kingdom Living can do what it does.