Monday, May 17, 2010

If I Didn't Ask, I Wouldn't Be Married

The title of this post was a direct quote from a woman who decided to do something different because she was tired of waiting and reconciled with herself that he needed her help even with being proposed to. Well, how long is a woman suppose to wait when her desires are on a handsome single guy, but he is too shy to come over and say, hello? There is nothing wrong with her going over and breaking the ice, as long as he realizes that is all it was; afterwards, he can be the aggressor. Better yet, what is the matter with the woman taking the bull by the reigns? At the very least the job is getting done.

I was looking at the animal kingdom, simply for entertainment. I know people are on a much higher heirarchy than animals, its just that God created them first before He created man and then He saw that all of the animals had a partner but man didn't. He then stated that it was not good for a man to be alone (Genesis 2:18 NIV). So, why did God pause, though momentarily, and look at the animals? So I watched as the very colorful and prominent males of every species did all that he could do to get the females attention. He puffed himself up bigger than the other males. He made sure there was a certain scent that she would be attracted to. Some species even have a dance to make sure she sees what he is doing. Even a few must show the place he made just for her and their family. It was just amazing. She either made her decision to be with that particular male or she went on her way. Not one of those animals switched their roles for the female to be the colorful one, show the nest she built for him, or puff herself up to be bigger than all of the others. She just waited for him to find her.

The huge difference with what God did with the people is that He made her from his side while he rested. Then He presented her to him (Genesis 2:20-22 AMP). God did this with no other species. So then why do we think we can do a better job then what God already did? Don't give me that we are under a new dispensation and therefore under a new order. The new covenant is to resume where Adam was before the fall. The presentation God made for Adam with the woman was before the fall of man.

So then if a woman decides to do things out of order and becomes the aggressor, will her marriage be blessed? Will her household be constantly out of order because of what she did in the first place? Or is it the man's fault for accepting the invitation because the pressure is taken off of him and he would rather be taken care of like his mother use to do?

My mother used a term that I rarely hear anymore- hen pecked. It is essentially a contentious woman who is not satisfied no matter what a man does (Proverbs 27:15 AMP). His answer to all of her demands is, "Yes dear." He doesn't try to make the situation better because he feels obligated to her or guilty because he made his bed and the realization came after the vows were made. She was determined, strong, and rather forceful. Who does she remind him of? Who acted this way in his life?

Actually many, if not all, single mothers who have to do it all. She has to work hard because she has to make the money, manage a house, know where her children are, and be educated enough to get the promotion when the opportunity presents itself. If her children stays out of trouble, she thinks she is doing well. This is the little fox trying to spoil the vine (Song of Solomon 2:15 KJV). No one really sees that a woman trying to do it all, something will fall through the cracks. One of those things is a girl learning how to be a woman and a boy seeing how a real woman is suppose to be. The working single mother these days just doesn't have the time to be at home to be the role model for her sons and daughters to see on a regular basis. So what is the resolve?

The trust we learn to have in God for everything (Isaiah 26:3 KJV). A woman becomes the aggressor to a man of her interests because she is afraid. Afraid that her time to be married is running out. Afraid that there won't be enough good men to go around. Afraid, that he will find someone prettier, more educated, younger, older, more to his liking. So she rushes the process and in so doing when the ceremony is over and the pressure is off, she discovers what she could have had if she just allowed for patience to have its perfect work in its entirety (James 1:4 KJV). That discovery happens many many years (if not decades) later.

Contention and patience cannot live together. Frustration and peace are not in the same dwelling place. Anxiety and joy are antithesis to each other (2 Corinthians 6:14 AMP). So how can a man relinguish his authority and be kept by an aggressive woman? Selah.

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Age Is But a Number

Hm, I thought about this and actually believed I had written a post about it sometime ago... but that must have been the manuscript I was thinking about. It had to do with what one delicately puts as the May/December relationship. There may be snow on the roof but plenty of fire in the furnace... to not put it as delicately. In either analogy, you must be able to see the fallacies in that sort of thinking. Would that God put such a pair together? If we look at this in its most practical form without negating the Word, you will see the mistakes that people have made and realize that there aren't any follow up stories with those relationships.

Whether it be a man with a little kitten or a cougar with a boy toy, in that perspective we can clearly see that it is the flesh being fed and satisfied. But we are peculiar and know that the flesh has been crucified with its lusts and affections so if it be the older woman and younger man or the older man and younger woman, it would not be the flesh being fed because our perspective is different and we know that God said for us not to be unequally yoked with unbelievers (2 Corinthians 6:14 KJV).

Let's delve into the scripture for a moment, knowing that we have been here before. Unequally yoked means far more than with someone who doesn't have the same faith but also with a person who isn't quite as mature as another. The babe in Christ may have some more carnal beliefs to work out as opposed to a child of God or a son of God. Though a child of God is still thinking and/or believing as a child, a son has learned to put away with childish things (1 Corinthians 13:11 KJV). Therefore, as a son, he has learned to put his faith in full swing to get what he is hoping for. He knows no other way having his full faith in God at work for all of his needs while a child is having issues with being patient in waiting for the seed of harvest to grow. Can you see where the unbelief is measured and should not be yoked together? If a son and a babe in Christ were to get married, can you see where the relationship could end with irreconcilable differences?

With this in mind, could there ever be a May/December relationship and be blessed in Christ? Well, we know that man looks at the outward appearance and God sees the heart. So no matter if man calls the older woman a cougar and the younger man a boy toy, God sees that the heart of the two people are equally yoked because of their maturity in Christ. They could very well be perfect for each other as long as they can keep their eyes on Christ rather than what other people's opinions are. This would be the same for the older man and younger woman.

The fallacy is believing what the medical reports say about older men not having the sexual prowess as they use to and that older women are more sexual than they were in their younger days. Believe as you will, I chose life sometime ago and along with that decision comes the question whose report are you going to believe (Philippians 4:8 KJV)? Would that God create a woman so that she would not be in sync with the man she was created for? If the two are equally yoked, wouldn't they be with everything? Other wise, we have found the fallacy. If one believes the medical reports about the rise of sexuality in women and the decrease of it in men as they get older and so marry based on those reports, then one cannot be disappointed when he or she finds that outside of sex, the two are incompatible.

May/December relationships are euphemised in this way to ease man's mind. It isn't something that was devised from scripture. Age being only a number is foolishness. Age is indicative of experience, the use of skills, and maturation. What one does with those years also tells the other something as well. Age tells us all more than what some would like for you to know. This is why many keep their age a secret. When we live the way we are suppose to, there isn't much to do in keeping the years a mystery - God does it for us. However, those that once lived by the code of living hard, die young and leave a good looking corpse has. Foolish words of youth, yet when we have a better understanding we dont say as much and learn to stay alert. Age would know this as well. If we were to pose an analogy of a younger man being the head of an older woman and he acting on emotion at a whim, should she have a concern knowing that they must both live by the fruit of his lips?