Posts

Showing posts from 2009

Be a Son, Then a Man, Before Being a Husband

My mother use to say, "a son is a son until he gets a wife; but a daughter is a daughter all of her life." Though it may have not meant much to my brother, it put enormous pressure on my sisters and myself wondering what we had to face later on. It wasn't unitl I became an adult and found hidden truths in the Word of God that delivered me from my mother's limmrick. The generation before me worried about their golden years and the future that social security had for their children. We know that in Christ, we are already provided for (Philippians 4:19 AMP); therefore, those concerns can be casted over on Him (1 Peter 5:7 AMP)  and we can resume to enjoy the promises again. However, for men, the knowledge and understanding to do that which has been uncommonly weighed upon women should be agiven. Men should not have pressure to be resonsible and stand to provide for their families. It use to be a regular practice. What's happened over these last decades that change

Jesus Did Say You Would Be Fishers of Men

A woman, I thought I knew, and I went shopping in the mall. We stopped at a perfume boutique. I was specifically looking for a scent of which I forgot the name. She was browsing and would incessantly call me to smell something she thought smelled good for herself. One aroma after another, most of her selection was the equivalence eau deaux (fragrance of) horse's behind (exaggeration, believe me). As I had mentioned to her before, even though some love the scent, I do not like smelling like food. To wit her reply was, "good luck catching a man." What can one say after that? Recall that we no longer speak in that manner being Christian and all. She is Christian as well which refers back to the afore mentioned comment, of her being someone I thought I knew. Yet it is what I believe too many women think they must have the mind stayed on a particular goal; her's being to catch a man. That was bothersome and left me speechless momentarily. Now that I think about it, isn

Gentlemen, What Are You Looking For?

Knowing that dating has the purpose for marriage, should she assume that you are looking for a wife or would you make that known to her at the onset of the invitation? Do you think if you were forthcoming to her about your purpose it would scare her? Do you believe by not telling her right away you are  being gentle or deceitful? I write to sons of God who know who they  are and what they seek. Sons of God know the importance of the anointing and they don't take what they see as precedence to what the voice of God tells them. Anyone else would dispute what they are about to read and with good reason. It is too much. But to those ready for the journey, let's go. The journey is to find what you are looking for - a wife (Proverbs 18:22 AMP). You know  that in order  for you to do what you've done thus far, took the anointing of God (Philippians 4:13 AMP) , right? The ability that you now have as opposed to the life you were once living, you can see the hand of God,right? So

I Hate Hindsight!

Hindsight is an outward manifestation of direct disobedience. Though it is made into something that is good to tell the next generation not to repeat the same mistakes for the purpose of their prosperity, but only if they don't envelope seducing opposition; that which happened to the previous generation. With that understanding, it is a reason to pray before embarking to teach on said hindsight lesson. I have come to the realization in these last 15-20 years that there aren't many who are willing to tell the younger generation of their hindsight. It is too embarrassing or is the attitude, "I got mine, you got to get yours the best way you can" stronger than to do what is right? No one likes to live in dread or regret, but isn't it just worth knowing that you changed someone else's life completely for the better to put yourself through that temporary embarrassment? More about this later. The scripture that comes to mind for the purpose of making the topic c

Soul Ties Rebounds

First, understand that the soul is made up of the will, mind, and emotions. Now you know that God wishes above all things that your soul is healthy ( 3 John 2 AMP ). With these two things in mind also add that confessions of the past cleanses that soul with a renewed mind and making those old things to pass away ( 2 Corinthians 5:17 KJV ). As Christians we tend to say things with our emotions that seem to sound good but it actually isn't good  at all. Let's recall being soooo in love to the point of this person being your whole world . You actually believed you were soul mates . Her eyes captivated your heart . Let's not forget the ever popular, you are my whole life . Saying these things didn't make the experience of being together anymore fulfilling. Those words only kept emotions ignited to the point of sexual temptation. Some held on until vows were spoken at the court house while others succombed to those vey words spoken. The sexual experience temporarily enh

That's Okay...I didn't love you anyway!

It is a statement children say to comfort their egos; and yet, grown adults have scampered trying to recover from rejection and in their vast vocabulary and social prowess, when pride was the guide instead of God, the same words come to mind allowing the fall to be as painful as it should be. Rejection can be a long walk back to the bar stool hearing the snickers behind one's back at the lame rap or waiting by the phone for that call one should get when the conversation seemed great and the physical attraction was electrifying. Sometimes it is expected but most of the time it isn't. And while we could (and have) moped in a small room listening to sad songs with the most fattening empty calorie food item that could be found, none of which will make you more accepted, more comforted, or more loved. The usual thing that the world does is a waste of time, money and the investment God put in you to do better because you know better. Those revenge statements like, "I didn

The Polygraph

It is no wonder that the polygraph is inadmissable in court. It has been deemed as not a direct use of determining whether someone is telling the truth or not. In fact those who have agreed to be under the rule of such a test and know they have lied, can google the ways to fool it. If it has been thought of to use to detect lying, the liars would find a way to either refute it or make others believe that it doesn't work. By means of the purpose of dating and Christianity, the polygraph's use is to let others see what God already knew - you don't have faith and are not trusting Him. The subject matter of this blog came when I was watching a well known talk show whose fame came about with paternity tests and using the polygraph. In the last season, after keeping from the show for more than a year, I have seen them use different questions on the person suspect of cheating, lying, or just being the same person as he/she was when they first met. The questions that were satisfy

History

Before Michael Jackson used that word (history) for one of his CD sleeves, my mother was given that word by God in a manner that was a message in of itself. History is His story, His meaning Jesus. We know His history for it is what we have built our faith. He hid nothing yet the mystery The Word speaks of is the search for the Kingdom Life at the ready for those who believe (Mark 4:11 KJV). I have to refer to that pastor I mentioned in previous posts who was teaching on his rules to Christian dating because he couldn't find such things in the scriptures. He said that those who are purposed in their heart to marry (paraphrasing) should be able to talk about their relationship history. Reason being, the intended should never be confronted  and shocked by someone stating intimate details of the past to make it seem as though it is current. Meaning, people get jealous and they tell one another. If these tales gets back to an ex (one that's been sexual) and it breaks up the curre

Pitiful!

What caused you to invite that specific woman for a date? Why did he ask you out? If asked, would you have an acceptable answer? I have asked my date what was he thinking when asking me out. I have a number of answers; however, knowing now what I do as opposed to then, none of those answers would be acceptable for a return appearance much less a conversation over the phone. They were charming, smooth and well rehearsed with every intention on getting one thing. I know what you are thinking, " yeah, but you did go out with them ." Again, I know better and much to your chagrin - no I didn't, but that's a completely different post all in of itself . This topic is about recognizing someone who likes to take advantage. Probably a wolf in the making, though not entirely; just as exhausting to deal with. At my job, there is a woman who is legally blind (this means she can see images though not clearly enough to correct with prescriptive glasses). I answer emergency call

Calling a Spade a Spade

Having established that there is a difference in dating the way the world does it and God's way, we (us, ladies) must also realize and be determined to live by that women were made for men and not the other way around. I know what was taught that women can do it all; however, out of that change, the Word continues to remain the same. Can we still do all that we have discovered and remain holy and acceptable unto God? Of course, God wishes above all things that His beloved (us) be in health and prosper even as our soul prospers (3 John 2 KJV). It is that abundant life. Having read that, continue to have that frame of mind when finishing this post. We have also come to terms that desperation is for fools and God did not raise us to be that way. So leave those thoughts of no more good men or women left (for men), that biological clock, and if you don't have sex soon you will die, to those who are without. Fulfilling those fears will only lead you to having to answer to other

You Are Going to Love ME!

I haven't quite figured out yet why people stay in a place where they are no longer needed, wanted or loved. It is a conundrum and must be dealt with so that each and everyone of us in Christ can be redirected to those relationships that do us the most good and stayed on the plain path of righteousness. I worked in a place where the owner of the business finds that in order for me to remain I would have to take additional classes for him to keep his license and keep operational. I resented his request for me to go back to school being an excellent employee of a complete year and upon hire, it seemed my degree and experience was more than enough. Once I graduated (2 years prior from obtaining this job) I wasn't all that eager to go back. He said nothing else about it and neither did I. A month later my administrative assistant tells me that the owner is interviewing for my job. I confronted him and he confirmed the rumor. He said that because I didn't give him a clear ind

The Purpose

There used to be a time where dates were orchestrated through parents having invested much time in their children and viewed as a precious commodity. Parents spoke to other insightful parents to see what were the values of the family before even considering the children to meet each other much less date. If the parents didn't agree instead of feuding they did not speak at all. This would have been the civil thing to do; however many did feud hence the story of Romeo and Juliet, the Hatfields and the McCoys, and so forth and so on. Times have since changed with the scripture stating there will be mothers against daughters and fathers against sons ( Luke 12:53 AMP ); children do as they please without wise counsel. Dating has become a prelude to sex rather than prospects to marriage which, for a Christian, is the purpose for dating. When going to a movie, play, or show, we tend to look to be entertained. Our concentration is on what the tickets were purchased for. To go on a date

Test Taking TIme

Ah tests, remember you were given tests in school to prove to your teacher (as well as her supervisor) that she was doing her job and you were actually retaining the information. God does the same thing. Where do you think they learned it from - lol? You learn something new from Him; whether it is applying the Word to the problem or Him telling you something is being stirred up, how you handle it determines whether you proceed to the next level or ready to go back around that mountain. In the dating scene the tests are given to potential mates by the other just to see what the temperament, attitude, problem solving skills, discipline to temptation, or if  there are any impulsive tendencies. These tests are not isolated to women administering them to men; whichever the case, it's a universal no-no. Yup, there are entirely too many people that believe it is the norm to give such an exam to see the potential the individual has to be a mate. Who taught this lesson to do and why did

The Foundation

Image
In the dating basics what should already be laid before building of anything is a sure foundation. The Word tells us that if a house is built on sand it will fold at the first gust of wind but built on a rock will cause the house to stand in the midst of a storm ( Luke 6:47-49 AMP ). In Christianity, the rock to which I am referring is Love. Without love there is no Christianity. All of the works, thoughts, and gestures mean nothing. The Word tells us this ( 1 John 2:5-6 AMP). There must be some sort of practice set for this walk of love by which we can hang all of the commandments and the prophets on: to love the Lord with all of our heart, mind, and strength; also to love our neighbor as we would love ourselves ( Matthew 22:37-40 AMP ). This constant practice makes life so much easier. It is a little rocky at first much like a baby trying to take his first steps but just like the baby enduring those toddling years eventually walking is a habit and soon to be on his way running wh

Dating Basics

Image
Hi, this will be the first of many entries to this blog. The topic of Christian Dating came about looking at the younger generation as a mother,  former Youth Specialist, and eventually Social Worker repeating oneself in the Human Professional field is inevitable. Remembering a childhood who parents were of the generation, "do what I say and don't ask any questions," or recollecting personal instruction (or lack thereof), in my generation - I couldn't be alone. In gathering information and playing around with a manuscript while in the library, a woman passed by the sketches and material seeing the title. She oohed and asked if there was going to be a chapter on co-habitating. Pausing for a moment, where would that fit in Christian dating? This is the question that precipitated the purpose for the blog.  Know that everything you will be reading, you might not like (it might even make you angry). That's okay. There is no way this is trying to spiritually feed you d