Thursday, December 31, 2009

Be a Son, Then a Man, Before Being a Husband

My mother use to say, "a son is a son until he gets a wife; but a daughter is a daughter all of her life." Though it may have not meant much to my brother, it put enormous pressure on my sisters and myself wondering what we had to face later on. It wasn't unitl I became an adult and found hidden truths in the Word of God that delivered me from my mother's limmrick.

The generation before me worried about their golden years and the future that social security had for their children. We know that in Christ, we are already provided for (Philippians 4:19 AMP); therefore, those concerns can be casted over on Him (1 Peter 5:7 AMP) and we can resume to enjoy the promises again. However, for men, the knowledge and understanding to do that which has been uncommonly weighed upon women should be agiven. Men should not have pressure to be resonsible and stand to provide for their families. It use to be a regular practice. What's happened over these last decades that changed that?

In scriptures, the New Testament to be exact, men wouldn't allow the women to speak believing that women were the reason man fell in the first place. Not only Adam and Eve was depicted but also Sarai's reasoning with Abram which birthed Ishmael (Genesis 16:1-15 KJV). Bathsheba's infidelity with David which birthed a dead son and the insanity of Job's wife when she lost her first lot of children. These accounts would solidify beliefs in men that the women have been their downfall for hundreds of years; only if man would be what God gave him the authority to be, the outcome surely would have been different.

The Word tells us that man is the head of his wife. The woman was made for man (1 Corinthians 11:9 KJV). Because Adam and Eve and what was stated above, should he ever listen to her? The truth is in the Word. It doesn't contradict itself, it is all about what you choose to believe. If God tells us that he who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord (Proverbs 18:22 KJV), do you believe then that she is in the home being mute, only there for maid service, and marital duties then the favor can be obtained; having had accolades and praise for all she had done prior to even knowing you? Certainly not.

The problems that arose with man were not only that he listened to his wife but that he was disobedient to God. God gave instruction to Adam, Abram, and Job. Adam chose to eat the fruit. Abram chose to lie with Hagar. Job chose to sacrifice for unspoken sins. None of these decisions had anything to do with life and its benefits. How then can the woman take all of the blame?

When David danced in the streets praising God to the point of dancing out of his clothes, Michal, his wife, watched from the window and was embarrassed. She decided, once David came in, to reprimand him for not acting more like a king with some sort of decorum. What did David do? Cover himself after listening to those vile words spoken to him? Certainly not. He told Michal, in as much, for her never to speak to him in this manner again. After all that God has done including sparing her life, how dare she? David made a decision. He chose life and reaped the benefits. Michal was barren and quite honestly wasn't written about in he scriptures anymore. Not even when she died, was it recorded.

The truth is, a man must be aquainted with God and how He does what He does. It requires living a righteous, holy life. Then this son of God can seek a wife, if it is his desire to have one. He seeks a wife in a manner God tells him, having his steps ordered, having sought the Kingdom and His righteousness, and with listening ears. As much as one may enjoy the attractiveness at what he sees, what he sees may not be a wife material and therefore favor cannot be obtained. It is more than just seeing. He must hear what she says in order for him to know that with the information already adhered to from God, what he hears from the right woman will match thereby being equally yoked (2 Corinthians 6:14 KJV).

If the son of God can listen to this woman, then why why wouldn't he listen to her after the wedding ceremony? The Word tells us to submit to her husband and also continues for us to each other (Ephesians 5:21-22 KJV). Should the verse be over looked? Women have much to contribute in a marriage besides sex and maid service. If a man prohibits her from using the gifts God has given, would he be quenching the Holy Spirit (1 Thessalonians 5:18-20 KJV)? How important  is it for man to stay in the favor of God? You choose.

Monday, December 28, 2009

Jesus Did Say You Would Be Fishers of Men

A woman, I thought I knew, and I went shopping in the mall. We stopped at a perfume boutique. I was specifically looking for a scent of which I forgot the name. She was browsing and would incessantly call me to smell something she thought smelled good for herself. One aroma after another, most of her selection was the equivalence eau deaux (fragrance of) horse's behind (exaggeration, believe me). As I had mentioned to her before, even though some love the scent, I do not like smelling like food. To wit her reply was, "good luck catching a man."

What can one say after that? Recall that we no longer speak in that manner being Christian and all. She is Christian as well which refers back to the afore mentioned comment, of her being someone I thought I knew. Yet it is what I believe too many women think they must have the mind stayed on a particular goal; her's being to catch a man. That was bothersome and left me speechless momentarily.

Now that I think about it, isn't that why we buy perfume? I recall a pastor's wife telling the women in that ministry to purchase perfume for specific times. When in the mood to wear a scent for that as opposed to an every day fragrance. It was for the purpose for a husband to catch certain signals. Which would be a good enough idea as long as the woman is married to do such things. An unmarried woman would frustrate herself seeing that the word says an unmarried man would have his mind on the things of God and not the world. So this could not apply for today's single Christian woman. Then one would have to ask, would it be the goal of a single Christian woman with the desire to marry to catch a man?

To answer this question, I would have to refer to the Word. After all, it is the truth that sets us free and the truth can only be found in the Word of God. What I would hope is that those reading this would not automatically assume if it goes against what you were thinking that I must be taking the scripture out of context. I could go through the history of who is speaking and to who he/she is speaking to; but would the verse make it more or less applicable to you? You do the studying and see if after you find all of the context in order and then apply the particular verse to your life, was it better or worse for the effort? For the sake of this blog and in answering the question, I can refer to the Song of Solomon. I have used this before and if you have read any of the other postings, you can see it was not to the benfit of the woman to seek the man of her desires. I can also refer to Proverbs where it has been written the man who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor of the Lord. Of course we can depict the difference between the man finding her as opposed to her doing the finding, but it would be in vain. I would much rather refer to simply what Jesus said for us to do, seek out the Kingdom of God and His righteousness and all of these things shall be added unto you. All of what things? All of the things we hope for by faith. If we change those goals and be more focused on Him, don't things just come anyway? Hasn't that been your experience? It has been mine. So I have learned not to consider those desires for I will get them anyway.

What I do know is when we focus on satisfying the flesh then that is the harvest we will receive. Wouldn't that be the only reason for a woman to catch a man? In the parable of talents, the man who had one talent and decided to hide it in the dirt because of fear, he hid his talent in the very substance that the flesh was created. When the master heard the excuses of this man, the master was angry and had this man banished from his presence where the outcome was gnashing of the teeth. Now some might think this verse is taken out of context is not applicable here. But those believing that would be wrong.

The Word tells us that we cannot be angry with the words that we speak but must live by the fruit thereof. Therefore if a woman even says to herself that she needs to get a man (for whatever the reason) and that what she says comes to pass, can she be shocked to find that once those urges have been satisfied, that the man doesn't have a job, house, car, money, ambition, a life, etc? It is the fruit of the flesh - lack. When she divorces this man and seeks another with the same outcome; eventhough he has a job and a house but he procratinates and doesn't like his what he does and is considering early retirement without a plan or bank for the future. Again, it is lack.

 If you really thought about it, how can a woman catch a man and then he be the head of her. It wasn't his idea to get her to be his wife. It was her idea. So wouldn't it be appropriate for him to think that she will take care of him, she will provide for him, she will make sure he has all he needs to be a blessing to her? And yet, some men have these very thoughts and women don't have a problem with it - at least their not saying much about it - yet.

When one takes the Word out of context one has confusion in their life. God is not the author of confusion; therefore, take heed to what is written. You know Jesus didn't mean for women to fish for men for the purpose of our own means. He did intend for our hearts and minds to be stayed on Him so we can establish the beginnings of Kingdom Living - peace.

Thursday, December 17, 2009

Gentlemen, What Are You Looking For?

Knowing that dating has the purpose for marriage, should she assume that you are looking for a wife or would you make that known to her at the onset of the invitation? Do you think if you were forthcoming to her about your purpose it would scare her? Do you believe by not telling her right away you are  being gentle or deceitful?

I write to sons of God who know who they  are and what they seek. Sons of God know the importance of the anointing and they don't take what they see as precedence to what the voice of God tells them. Anyone else would dispute what they are about to read and with good reason. It is too much. But to those ready for the journey, let's go. The journey is to find what you are looking for - a wife (Proverbs 18:22 AMP). You know  that in order  for you to do what you've done thus far, took the anointing of God (Philippians 4:13 AMP), right? The ability that you now have as opposed to the life you were once living, you can see the hand of God,right? So then you know she must have an anointing as well as to enhance what God developed in you (2 Corinthians 6:14 AMP), right? It is like making a main course. You have a recipe to follow in order for this main dish to taste as good as you remembered. If you try to add something more to it unless you know the chemistry of certain ingredients you can enhance the flavor or destroy the whole meal. It is the same with finding a wife. God has given you gifts and talents to hear His voice (John 10:4; 27 AMP).  Hear what she tells you. Is all she is saying enhancing material (Romans 14:19 AMP) or did she say anything (even the smallest element) that you are not familiar with (Song of Solomon 2:15 AMP).

Being a good wife and mother takes an anointing to do. Though the world minimizes the importance of both, each has its own tasks of ministry. Each  has its varying  levels of ministry. Each has its varying levels  of Wisdom to do well. Each needs the skills of the Holy Spirit (1 Corinthians 12:27-31 AMP). All women don't have these skills to do these tasks. Some believe keeping their bodies in shape is important  then ruining their figure with a pregnancy. Some are in love with the experience of creating a wedding with her being the star attraction rather than the life after the gown is put back in the box. The sparkle of a diamond can move good sense to the corners of her mind believing that the stone is her bff. How else would you know that she is this way or what would you like to believe?

If your emotions have taken over your good sense, you must test yourself (1 Thessalonians 5:21 AMP). Walk away from the relationship. Tell her you need time to think for a few weeks. Is that thought too much for you to think about doing? Are you rationalizing, then you know you have become emotionally involved and aren't thinking clearly. If she reacts in that way, trying to convince you different then what you said, know you have given her too much control and she will continually try to make you do as she would like.

You see if you are trying to obtain favor from the Lord, you have to hear from Him (and so does she). Peace is the determining factor and not anxiety (1 Peter 3:4 AMP). If she is calm with what you decide to do - it is good. If she has something to add, it has to be from the Word to change your mind. Understand?

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

I Hate Hindsight!

Hindsight is an outward manifestation of direct disobedience. Though it is made into something that is good to tell the next generation not to repeat the same mistakes for the purpose of their prosperity, but only if they don't envelope seducing opposition; that which happened to the previous generation. With that understanding, it is a reason to pray before embarking to teach on said hindsight lesson.

I have come to the realization in these last 15-20 years that there aren't many who are willing to tell the younger generation of their hindsight. It is too embarrassing or is the attitude, "I got mine, you got to get yours the best way you can" stronger than to do what is right? No one likes to live in dread or regret, but isn't it just worth knowing that you changed someone else's life completely for the better to put yourself through that temporary embarrassment? More about this later.

The scripture that comes to mind for the purpose of making the topic clear is Ecclesiastes 7:26 (AMP) where Solomon speaks of idolatrous women and how they seduce one away from God. But Solomon knew this. His mother taught him in the first three chapters of Proverbs - it is all he wrote about; but foremost God had warned him beforehand. Between the time when God warned him and the building of God's temple, something happened. Was it when the queen visited him and she was in such awe of this man's wealth (2 Chronicles 9:1-6 AMP)? Would that action change a man? Or was it something else? How could Solomon have so much wisdom to solve the issues of those that come to him and not to have the present sight to see the pitfalls that swiftly came upon himself? Did Solomon lust in his heart after the queen of Sheba which caused him to marry so many of the very kind of woman God and Solomon's mother warned him not to draw near to (1 Kings 11:1-9 AMP)? Ecclesiastes 7:26 (AMP) is the hindsight by which he writes to warn the many generations after him.

I had a family doctor who for whatever reason decided to use himself as a guinea pig. The diseases he would normally prescribe or treatr his patients for optimum health, he would become fascinated and try to inflict the disease upon himself to know what it would feel like and to use the best medicines to quickly rid himself of it (them). I think he believed it would make him a better doctor having the experience himself and being able to speak to his patience on a more personable level. To some, that reasoning might be plausible; to others it would be a reason to call the board of medicine for one of its members needs a vacation! This last time I saw this doctor who told me what he did, I looked into his eyes and saw something that I hadn't before. When I asked if he was alright, he said he was and why did I ask. I told him because his eyes don't look like he alright. From that moment on, he stopped giving me direct eye contact. He knew he experimented to the extreme and wished he could turn back what he had done, though his words said otherwise - well, initially.

I watched the interview ABC had with singer, songwriter, and entertainer, Rihanna and her relationship she had with singer, Chris Brown. Though she had a childhood riddled with seeing abuse on a regular basis, she knew it was wrong, yet she maintained a relationship with an abusive boyfriend. Foresight would seem apparent to leave at the first contact of fist to face but she claimed that she loves him. How can one love another but not herself enough to keep from hurt, harm, or danger? Scripture states to love your neighbor as yourself (Galatians 5:14 AMP). It also says that God is love (1 John 4:8 AMP). Therefore, if you don't know God you don't know what love is. You cannot love yourself without knowing what love is, so how could you love your brother? How could we love one another then? This is hindsight based upon what we have done in the past stating how much we love in our relationships and then fall out of it as easy as it was to say it. That is not love.

Who could have told Rihanna during that 3 year tumultuous relationship to leave before she becomes a statistic? Didn't anyone see the bruises? Didn't anyone love her enough to speak? The Word tells us that pride goes before a fall (Proverbs 16:18 AMP). Why must we get to the fallen state before speaking up? To know to do right and not do it is a sin (James 4:17 AMP). If we think that our mere words will fall on deaf ears or that our pearls of wisdom should be cherished more then to give to someone who doesn't appreciate them, then say that when Jesus tries and judges the action you didn't take (2 Timothy 4:1 AMP). Personally, I must have the sound mind as God gave to me and believe that the pearls casted away by one still builds the treasure that is still to come (Matthew 6:19-21 AMP).

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Soul Ties Rebounds

First, understand that the soul is made up of the will, mind, and emotions. Now you know that God wishes above all things that your soul is healthy (3 John 2 AMP). With these two things in mind also add that confessions of the past cleanses that soul with a renewed mind and making those old things to pass away (2 Corinthians 5:17 KJV).

As Christians we tend to say things with our emotions that seem to sound good but it actually isn't good  at all. Let's recall being soooo in love to the point of this person being your whole world. You actually believed you were soul mates. Her eyes captivated your heart. Let's not forget the ever popular, you are my whole life. Saying these things didn't make the experience of being together anymore fulfilling. Those words only kept emotions ignited to the point of sexual temptation. Some held on until vows were spoken at the court house while others succombed to those vey words spoken. The sexual experience temporarily enhanced what was felt but eventually reality, which never left, cleared away all of those rose colored glasses that had been flung in the heat of passion. Jobs are still necessary. Bills still have to be paid. Laundry still needs to be done and "your whole world" would like to spend some alone time without you.

Stunned, you try to remain cool and agree just to keep the relationship together knowing that "alone time" means the sex wasn't altogether there, its going to be a slow breakup, exclusivity has not been established, maybe it was this or probably that - your mind is reeling. It doesn't take long yet that which you feared came upon you and it is over.

Though what I described was the demise of a relationship, this can also be a divorce, when someone passes away, or when the spouse is estranged and the waiting has been longer then expected. Those words that were spoken at the height of the relationship didn't disappear. You made that person your whole life and world. Your depression can be explained by what you have said. Your broken heart was made when you said that her eyes captivated it and now that the relationship is over, you will never see those eyes again. You imprisoned yourself with the words you spoke. Also if that estranged or insensitive person was your soul mate, what does that say about you? He/she left you destitute or without notice or didn't tell you and started dating someone else or sued you or evicted you out of the combined residence or called you out of your name, or stole money from you, or whatever that thing was. You connected your soul to that person soley from what you spoke and forgot about.

Alright let's make it as plain as it can be. God spoke and created all in 6 days, right? Greater is He that is in us, right? We learn to be more like Him by walking in love, right? Out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks, right? As a man thinks so is he, right? Can we not speak to the mountain to be removed? So what have you been allowing your emotions to say? Those words have staying power.

Repent, to allow those soul ties to be broken. New relationships aren't as vibrant and exciting not because of it being a rebound; its what was said. That soul mate is gone. That relationship is over. Your world (with that person) is over. Your life (as you thought it was) is over. Your heart cannot be captivated again; it is still imprisoned unless you confess, repent, and forgive. You don't ever let any person but Jesus be your whole life, world, or anything else. Nothing captivates you because Jesus came to set the captives free. To say otherwise is foolishness. Let Jesus be Lord of all having your heart and mind stayed on Him so peace can be obtained (Isaiah 26:3 KJV) and Kingdom Living can do what it does.

Thursday, November 12, 2009

That's Okay...I didn't love you anyway!

It is a statement children say to comfort their egos; and yet, grown adults have scampered trying to recover from rejection and in their vast vocabulary and social prowess, when pride was the guide instead of God, the same words come to mind allowing the fall to be as painful as it should be.

Rejection can be a long walk back to the bar stool hearing the snickers behind one's back at the lame rap or waiting by the phone for that call one should get when the conversation seemed great and the physical attraction was electrifying. Sometimes it is expected but most of the time it isn't. And while we could (and have) moped in a small room listening to sad songs with the most fattening empty calorie food item that could be found, none of which will make you more accepted, more comforted, or more loved. The usual thing that the world does is a waste of time, money and the investment God put in you to do better because you know better.

Those revenge statements like, "I didn't love you anyway," come from bitterness. You are trying to hurt the person as much as his/her rejection has hurt you. No matter what you say, it will never hurt as much as those words will, when they (the words) come back to hurt you - again! God worked out the system that way. That's why Kingdom Living is paramount for us. Let the words of my mouth and meditation of my heart be acceptable in thy sight oh Lord, my Strength and my Redeemer (Psalm 19:14 KJV). "I didn't love you anyway" is completely derogatory of how we are to live. We know the word says how can you love God whom you have not seen and hate your brother whom you have seen (1 John 4:20 KJV)? Plus the basics by which Jesus tells us to hang all of the law and the prophets on. We must love our neighbor as we love ourselves (Matthew 22:37-40 KJV). With that one statement of not loving, you have given place to the enemy and now he can do his job: steal, kill, and destroy.

It is a blunt way of looking at the matter; that's why dating isn't for children and shouldn't be taken lightly. If the other party isn't interested, yeah it may not feel good initially but you will recover. So not to have a rerun of those feelings why not acknowledge Him in all of your ways so He can direct your path (Proverbs 3:6 KJV). Don't you see? It is because the blessings of the Lord maketh rich and He adds no sorrows to them (Proverbs 10:22 KJV) ; therefore hurtful words are a clear indication that he/she wasn't from the Lord anyway. Rejoice, again I say rejoice.

Thursday, October 8, 2009

The Polygraph

It is no wonder that the polygraph is inadmissable in court. It has been deemed as not a direct use of determining whether someone is telling the truth or not. In fact those who have agreed to be under the rule of such a test and know they have lied, can google the ways to fool it. If it has been thought of to use to detect lying, the liars would find a way to either refute it or make others believe that it doesn't work. By means of the purpose of dating and Christianity, the polygraph's use is to let others see what God already knew - you don't have faith and are not trusting Him.

The subject matter of this blog came when I was watching a well known talk show whose fame came about with paternity tests and using the polygraph. In the last season, after keeping from the show for more than a year, I have seen them use different questions on the person suspect of cheating, lying, or just being the same person as he/she was when they first met. The questions that were satisfying for the inquirer were:
1. Did you sleep with so and such?
2. Do you have children with whosoever?
3. Are you doing drugs?

In finding the answers to the same basic questions, the inquirer is satisfied though his/her life is devastated because all of the invested time that was put into the relationship, the children they had out of wedlock, the wedding that is scheduled in less than two weeks; nevertheless, at least they didn't go through with saying vows and really be committed, right? Seeing it like that looks all discombobulated and convoluted. Why even bother going through the relationship when finding out that which was already suspected? And yet when looking for the follow up, there they are -  together. I suppose we could thank them for being so entertaining; and their less than 15 minutes of fame is over. We don't usually think about them again. This would cause ratings to decrease, so the new questions were asked:
1. Do you love me?
2. Are you happy with our sex life?
3. Do you regret marrying (moving in with) me?
4. Do you still love your ex?

The first question seems to be the all important one and then when the other answers to the remaining questions are answered, the first one has fallen to the way side. I don't understand if all of the trust is put into a test that is faulty and the inquirer finds that the mate doesn't love him/her, why should there be any interest in hearing the answers to the other questions. "He doesn't love you!" Your heart heard it and then your mind says, "yeah. but wait, does he love the  sex and would he still like to be with his ex?" And then I am entertained again because it is crazy.

Christians with the good sense God has given us wouldn't think to do such things and on T.V. too - HA! Really? I have heard ministers recommend getting a private investigator and to also get a credit check done before making a commitment to anyone. You wouldn't want him/her to louse up your credit after you worked so hard to keep it in good standing. Is that the same thing as what the world does using the polygraph? Is it a lack of faith in God or is it common sense to use all of what technology has to offer?

Personally, it would be a waste of money to do. The polygraph, a private investigator, getting a credit check on someone all costs something. I believe if God says it, that settles it. If you know the voice of the Good Shepherd and He said this is the one and all you can think about is to find dirt on this person, then you will find it. The question, then becomes, "why Father did You say this is the one?" The Father would never match someone to another who isn't equally yoked with that person. So I would think when the dirt is found to not look at the person who has the dirt but at yourself who has swept your own mess under the rug and was looking to take a speck out of someone else's eye (Matthew 7:4-6 NIV).

God told a man I know who his wife is. He was pleased with what he found. In dating she let him know that she is not good with money. He used his dating experience as a testimony that when he saw what she was like with money, he took the time to teach her how to budget and allowed her time to make what he taught her a habit. She paid all of her bills and was out of debt in a few months. She was grateful and he has a good thing. What happened? She must have had horrible credit. Why would God put those two people together? I believe God saw the heart of this man and trusted him to do what he did. They are a blessed couple of many years of marriage to this day.

The polygraph test is still used in our everyday lives as well as dating. We have it already built in if we could get passed trying to impress the other and use the skills God has given us (Mark 11:22-24 KJV). It is called the Word of God. If God tells us to use His Word to remind Him of His promises, why wouldn't we use it in our everyday language? No, I don't mean talking Elizabethian English, I mean using it for what it does. If the wages of sin are death and the Word is light and life, shouldn't it overcome the other? Hasn't Jesus done this already? I use the Word where ever I can and I have seen its power work. People tell me the oddest things and then look as if they try to get those words back or for me to forget what they just said. Yes, it is another source of entertainment and a good reason to pray. For the purpose of dating it is ideal.

I know that we don't take everything we would like to do to God. We think we have the ability to do whatever, and then when it all falls in our faces, then we go to Him to ask forgiveness and repent. Was the lesson learned? The test comes, and there we are again. This blog should give you the where withal to use the Word of God as your polygraph. It won't offend God and it puts your faith to work. You know it is impossible to please Him without faith so use it. For the others whose faith isn't there yet and still think that the polygraph would be better, just remember that the Word tells us that all things are permissable but all things are not profitable (1 Corinthians 6:12 AMP). With God wishing above all things that we be in health and prosper even as our soul prospers (3 John 2 KJV), I would think profitability would beat out things that are just permissable.

It is only the Word where we can find the truth that makes and sets us free (John 8:32 KJV). It is the best polygraph there is!

Monday, September 28, 2009


Before Michael Jackson used that word (history) for one of his CD sleeves, my mother was given that word by God in a manner that was a message in of itself. History is His story, His meaning Jesus. We know His history for it is what we have built our faith. He hid nothing yet the mystery The Word speaks of is the search for the Kingdom Life at the ready for those who believe (Mark 4:11 KJV).

I have to refer to that pastor I mentioned in previous posts who was teaching on his rules to Christian dating because he couldn't find such things in the scriptures. He said that those who are purposed in their heart to marry (paraphrasing) should be able to talk about their relationship history. Reason being, the intended should never be confronted  and shocked by someone stating intimate details of the past to make it seem as though it is current. Meaning, people get jealous and they tell one another. If these tales gets back to an ex (one that's been sexual) and it breaks up the current potential relationship or causes to have a 1 on 1 with mentioning scars or tattoos that one would only be able to see if the person were in the nude, how would the potential mate feel towards you? The pastor mentioned that the past relationships should be discussed because of children that have been birthed from these relationships.

I listened and though to some degree I had to agree with the pastor; however, there was something about that, that just bothered me. I had to pray.

Put yourself in the shoes of someone to receive an earful of a long tumultuous sexual history without marriage. The more you hear, would there be more questions? Or would it be the more you hear the more disgusted you would be? Would it be the more you hear, the more you wish you never started anything with the one dating? What is the outcome going to be? One really has to see that from all perspectives to understand that's a very personal, explicit prayer to the Lord before embarking on a tell all you can remember fest.

These days people do all sorts of things I wouldn't dare imagine much less desire to hear it said to me. I'd wonder if that desire would be a struggle for him not to return to. Could a man over look all of the men she was with in search for love? Could he understand the children by different fathers? Could he be fine with the past abortions, children taken by the state, or those adopted by other families? From those angles, it is a heavy load that no one should be able to carry . So why speak of it? Let the past be the past. God has forgiven you. Why would you need this person, whom you intend  to date (for the purpose of marriage) to forgive you too?

Actually, you don't . God has forgiven and doesn't condemn (Luke 6:37 KJV). Guilt from the past comes from insecurity which is euphemised fear. We already know there is no fear in God. So the decision is clear, isn't it?

That pastor is right. Just as Jesus didn't hold anything back from us, we follow Him. The Word tells us to draw nigh to Him and He will draw nigh to us (James 4:8 KJV). Jesus said they that hunger and thirst after righteousness shall be filled (Matthew 5:6 KJV). Therefore our faithfulness in church, studying the Word, applying it to our lives everyday is that close relationship in its full development. We got to know Him. We learned how to love because He first loved us. His story is easy to incorporate. It helps us to understand the need for Him.

The need is ever so much more necessary in Christian dating when one's past has not been dramatic as the other. To the immature Christian that listener will feel the burden placed heavily upon him/her. The speaker, whether mature or not  will sigh in relief. Maturity sighs because knowing there is no guilt. Immaturity sighs because the burden is no longer his but given to the listener to carry. This,  if you don't see it, is an orchestrated test for both parties. Only the mature in Christ will see if there is a future with the other.

The mature Christian will know that the burden is the Lord's (Psalms 55:22 KJV). Maturity can see worry in the other. Knowing that worry is a sin he/she has the answer as to what to do next. The shocked expression without recovery of Wisdom, speaks foolishly. Maturity doesn't make a verbal respond because arguing doesn't promote righteousness (James 1:20 AMP). The slow to speak attitude allows the response of immaturity to rise (James 1:19 KJV). Peace is what you seek. Listen for the quietness; for it is the effect of righteousness (Isaiah 32:17 KJV). History is nothing but the past but with it being forgotten you look more and more like Him. The mate you choose should be the equivalent to that.

Sunday, September 20, 2009


What caused you to invite that specific woman for a date? Why did he ask you out? If asked, would you have an acceptable answer? I have asked my date what was he thinking when asking me out. I have a number of answers; however, knowing now what I do as opposed to then, none of those answers would be acceptable for a return appearance much less a conversation over the phone. They were charming, smooth and well rehearsed with every intention on getting one thing.

I know what you are thinking, "yeah, but you did go out with them." Again, I know better and much to your chagrin - no I didn't, but that's a completely different post all in of itself . This topic is about recognizing someone who likes to take advantage. Probably a wolf in the making, though not entirely; just as exhausting to deal with.

At my job, there is a woman who is legally blind (this means she can see images though not clearly enough to correct with prescriptive glasses). I answer emergency calls and her alert went off. When I answered her call, she beckoned me to her room to explain that she is blind and her cat must have been playing with  the dangling cord. She will have a talk with her. She chuckled, I didn't. It wasn't yet 6:00 o'clock in the morning. She didn't think I knew she wasn't completely blind nor did she see me when she was admitted into the building and she explained to her family all of the operations in the building at her convenience; pointing things out and saying what she needed from the car she just got out of. There she laid in her bed appearing catatonic and staring at the ceiling. She waved her arms around as if that would enhance her claim to being blind. Having never met me before, I said nothing else and wished her a good day. I knew what she expected of me. She waited to hear it in my voice but the wait was in vain. I could empathize with her being alone and craving some human contact; however, she was looking for pity. She was giving her best performance to create it. Like I wrote, I wished her a good day and left.

With Christian dating people can use whatever tactic they have at their disposal. Sympathy has been well used for unsuspecting babes in Christ. If pity isn't enough then it is laced with scripture and the babe is then reminded what he/she should do as though hearing the word from this person is the Holy Spirit causing guilt to action. It is a manipulative tactic. It is almost wolf like. Wolves devour and leave you limp and heart broken. Pitiful people just use you to the point of exhaustion. They hear the lack of tolerance in your voice and then just move on. The woman claiming to be blind heard this from the very beginning. She won't have another accidental alert on my shift.

Another example of this pity in effect was this guy I met in church as a teenager. He was older than me but a teen too.  His father passed away of sickle cell complications early in his life and he had the trait. Having four brothers, a mother, and step father he played the trait card and actually squeezed out tears for me to hold out my arms to hug him. Usually, at that age, his story would have worked but for some reason (knowing now what I didn't then) it wasn't working and that last ditch effort to squeeze out that tear was more comical than anything. When he saw I wasn't going for it... you had to have been there. He would talk, pause then cry, stop and peer over his shoulder, talk some more, cry, peer over his shoulder to see what I was doing and what was taking me so long to go and hold him. I wasn't falling for those tactics and he knew it, he walked away and we never mentioned it again. That claim that he was dying by using the sickle cell trait card, that was over 30 years ago and he is still walking around to this day.

I dated a guy who told me that I caused so much sexual desire in his loins that his genitals would turn blue. He claimed to be in much pain at night while trying to sleep. Having no insight as to what men go through when excited without any sexual release, I almost felt responsible and if he heard that in my voice he would have had me. Since then I tell that to certain men and they laugh.

Guys don't think that women understand what they are doing, believing women don't use pity to get their needs met as well. Single mothers use their children for pity. When they have overspent their budgets and need their rent paid, they use what they have to. But its a 2 way street. When these tactics are used, they guys expect the favor returned. They result of this relationship is not fulfilling at all.

There is popular term used for older women after young men is cougar. In the 60's, the popular term for the young women going after any man was a sex kitten. Boy, has times changed. Cougars know what they are doing and much like wolves, they devour and leave the leftovers for the scavengers.

The purpose of this blog is to allow you to see that dating isn't just dinner and a movie. Women expect calls back and some men try to get their money's worth especially if they are paying. But God said to owe no man nothing but to love him (Romans 13:8 AMP).

Now let's put some scripture to work letting this be rhema to you, in the name of Jesus.

Abraham looked for sympathy when he lied to King Abimelech about Sarah being his sister and not his wife. The King's kingdom dried up listening and believing the lies. You see the King wasn't left broken but noticeably lacking (Genesis 20:1-9 AMP). What Abraham did to save his own skin was just pitiful.

Saul wouldn't fight his own fight with Goliath but hid in the tent. He looked to David to be sympathetic in his plight. David, using his faith fought and won while Saul struggled with his own mental battles and lost the fight. David lacked nothing because he put his faith to work (1 Samuel 17:11; 32-37 AMP).

Remember Jesus when he saw the man laying on his bed at the healing well. He had been laying there for 38 years and wanted for someone to pity him. He exclaimed that every time the angel came to stir up the waters someone went in ahead of him. Jesus asked do you really want to be healed (John 5:1-9 AMP)? You see Jesus wouldn't allow pity to be around Him. He flipped it back on the man. The same would be true for you. Follow Jesus and flip the script on those who would have you wallow in the mire with them. Don't let it happen. Its one thing to be compassionate and helpful. Its something else when being manipulated and taken advantage of. Watch and pray so you won't become resentful and jaded to the very ones you are to be that beckon of light to (Ephesians 6:18 AMP).

Friday, September 18, 2009

Calling a Spade a Spade

Having established that there is a difference in dating the way the world does it and God's way, we (us, ladies) must also realize and be determined to live by that women were made for men and not the other way around. I know what was taught that women can do it all; however, out of that change, the Word continues to remain the same. Can we still do all that we have discovered and remain holy and acceptable unto God? Of course, God wishes above all things that His beloved (us) be in health and prosper even as our soul prospers (3 John 2 KJV). It is that abundant life. Having read that, continue to have that frame of mind when finishing this post.

We have also come to terms that desperation is for fools and God did not raise us to be that way. So leave those thoughts of no more good men or women left (for men), that biological clock, and if you don't have sex soon you will die, to those who are without. Fulfilling those fears will only lead you to having to answer to others and there is no prosperity in that.

Dating, as it has been noted earlier, is for the purpose of marriage. Men have the responsibility to interview the female of his desire for him to know that he found a good thing (Proverbs 18:22 KJV). It is how he obtains favor from the Lord. This takes time and is a process. That time must be void of trying to impress each other. He must look passed the shape of her body, length of her hair, color of her eyes, what she is wearing, how she smells, and what her lips must taste like. This is a lot to overcome, gentlemen but it is what sons of God can do. Children give into temptation everytime. Can you now see why dating is not for babes in Christ or children of God? You, men (sons of God) must have the frame of mind to ask pertinent questions before emotions and the heart gets all involved. Once emotions are attached, clear thinking doesn't return until the first argument usually about 6 weeks into the marriage. Vows have been made by then and it is not possible to turn back the clock to when you were single again.

The bottom line is dating initially isn't at all romantic. It is more business than anything else. It is one of the reasons why you must hear the voice of God. You must be able to know what it is you are looking for in a wife. She must have some idea what she won't put up with in a marriage. None of that sounds warm, fuzzy, and at the ready to do again. Yeah it is strange and takes the fun right out of what you thought dating should be. But here is the long and short of it, you aren't out thousands of dollars with dinners, movies, paying for her hair and nails and other baubles to win the heart of someone who was planning on lying, stealing, cheating, and/or leaving you in the end.

And ladies before thinking that this post was only for men, start getting a little more practical with the idea of dating. You know all of those dinners and gifts aren't going to be an on-going thing in a long term relationship. Understand that expensive gifts can cause you not to see how big the wolf's teeth really are. Why not turn down the glitz and sparkle and see if the man has any substance that is worth your time. The saying use to be "well, a girl's got to eat" but that's when she didn't know any better about Jehovah Jireh. God has provided for you. You don't have to sell yourself so cheap just to get a meal.

Now that all of that stuff is out of the way, all there is, is just the two of you. Take a good look. Would that person be worth your entire life? If you can answer that, you are ready to proceed for the next date.

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

You Are Going to Love ME!

I haven't quite figured out yet why people stay in a place where they are no longer needed, wanted or loved. It is a conundrum and must be dealt with so that each and everyone of us in Christ can be redirected to those relationships that do us the most good and stayed on the plain path of righteousness.

I worked in a place where the owner of the business finds that in order for me to remain I would have to take additional classes for him to keep his license and keep operational. I resented his request for me to go back to school being an excellent employee of a complete year and upon hire, it seemed my degree and experience was more than enough. Once I graduated (2 years prior from obtaining this job) I wasn't all that eager to go back. He said nothing else about it and neither did I. A month later my administrative assistant tells me that the owner is interviewing for my job. I confronted him and he confirmed the rumor. He said that because I didn't give him a clear indication of returning back to school, he had to do whatever he needed to stay in business. I figured if he liked my work ethic and how much money I saved him I would have thought he would do whatever he needed to keep me, convince me to go back to school, convince me how it would also be beneficial for me, sweeten the pot, encourage with a raise - something! Without him doing any of these things and being a coward as to how I was being pushed out, I no longer desired to be in his company. I resigned.

While some would have not done what I did because well, a paycheck is a paycheck; there is a principle that must be adhered to not just when attending church but in our everyday lives: if you are not received, cast the dust off and move on (Mark 6:10-12 AMP). This is what Jesus said to His disciples before they left to preach the Word throughout the land. The pearls that I gave this employer be it retraining the staff, adjusting the menu, taking much of the responsibility for many tasks off of him and crunching the numbers of his budget to save him money, he didn't recognize as being profitable. Then he would no longer be the fool if I stayed. That title would have been mine. This analogy would be true for any relationship, but for this, we are referring to those single Christians who are dating for the purpose of marriage.

Desperate people who don't believe God for everything can become very manipulative and controlling. This behavior is no longer isolated to men alone. With the increase of single mothers trying to do it all, those sons have a deficiency not knowing how to be men but "good boys" and will, if not resentful of their mothers, find a woman strong like his mother to continue to have the title of a "good boy." A good example of this is Jon and Kate Gosselin. Though Jon now while separated paints a completely different picture than Kate, there is no quandry when viewing how those girls treat their brothers. Should we wonder where they got that behavior from? The smacks men give their wives cannot be euphemised as "love taps" but they are when the wife does the elbow in the gut to her husband. I find that interesting but how interesting will it be when those little girls grow up and not learn the enormous lesson that is before us all when viewing that reality show?

We all know that God hates divorce and when we accept or decide to invite someone on a date for the purpose of marriage, there is much to consider and be able to see more than the beauty or charming person that stands before for the purpose to initially impress. If you sense that you aren't even well liked, don't let the brick have to be thrown before separating yourself from the individual or group. Even in marriage it is written if the spouse desires a divorce don't force the spouse to stay. If God doesn't force Himself on anyone, why would we?

Monday, September 14, 2009

The Purpose

There used to be a time where dates were orchestrated through parents having invested much time in their children and viewed as a precious commodity. Parents spoke to other insightful parents to see what were the values of the family before even considering the children to meet each other much less date. If the parents didn't agree instead of feuding they did not speak at all. This would have been the civil thing to do; however many did feud hence the story of Romeo and Juliet, the Hatfields and the McCoys, and so forth and so on.

Times have since changed with the scripture stating there will be mothers against daughters and fathers against sons (Luke 12:53 AMP); children do as they please without wise counsel. Dating has become a prelude to sex rather than prospects to marriage which, for a Christian, is the purpose for dating.

When going to a movie, play, or show, we tend to look to be entertained. Our concentration is on what the tickets were purchased for. To go on a date has become a point to attend one of those venues followed by or done before hand, a meal. Usually, and for Christians, it is better for the man to pay for this, but he comes away not only being slightly financially depleted but from the 3-4 hours of dating his information that he got about the female of his desires is limited to a mere hour and thirty minutes of possible conversation.You see, there is no talking during the entertainment portion of the date. Therefore, I question the purpose of it other than to delude the female of the real purpose; Christian or otherwise.

To make myself clear, I dated a man of whom I thought the relationship was serious enough to consider marriage. We had been on many dates and discussed a plethora of matters by which we were both in agreement. He would often come to my place of employment where we would have lunch together. There was this one particular time he came to ask to borrow money until his next payday where he would immediately pay me back. I never dated anyone who asked me for money and it just went against the core of my being. I told him no. He was surprised and though I didn't plan to be entertained I continued to watch the show he displayed before me. What was a simple matter of disagreement changed into a detailed list of every date we went on and how much money he spent on me. He was looking to get a return on his investment and expected it immediately. Who would have thought to hear such a request? Being shocked, could the voice of the Lord be heard in the midst of this? Sons of God would have heard His voice clearly; children would react from what was being displayed. Yet, knowing the difference would be a different subject to write about entirely. So more about that later.

Though dating is up to the man to ask the woman of his desire for her time, these days those lines have blurred trying to make the biblical way archaic. Man ask women because it is up to him to find the good thing and obtain favor from the Lord (Proverbs 18:22 KJV). Women can make the attempt to convince the man that she is good but unless it is rhema to him, she becomes "good" for a night (a quickie) and that's not good. Reason being, an aggressive woman for the purpose of dating, causes the roles to change. Should the man therefore be passive? If he is not willing to change his role, then there is conflict. It may not rise instantly, but it will arise.

In Song of Solomon the woman searches for her true love. That, not being, her role the villagers see her search as being evil and beat her(Song of Solomon 5:6-8 KJV). I can see why some women would view that verse as archaic; however in Revelation, the Lord refers returning back to your first love being Him (Revelation 2:4 AMP). Why would we search for anyone else? They that hunger and thirst after the Lord shall be filled(John 6:35 KJV). If she searches for the Lord, this will make her complete. This completion now makes her a good thing and ready to be found. However, a desperate search for any other man makes her lose her focus, she is then not where she should be and therefore the man she prayed for is not able to see where she is. She is in the wrong place at the wrong time. Understand that it all works together. There is an order in that we find our path and flow by the guide of the Holy Spirit.

We can listen to the Wisdom early while we can find or act on the desperation cries of emotion and lie in regret. Hearing a man list how much money he spent on the amount of dates he has been on with you is the Holy Spirit saying, "RUN!!!" Some women may believe he is her only chance of happiness and disregards  the voice of Wisdom. It has happened too many times to count.

Archaic as it may be to have our parents be the matchmakers for us because even their noble purpose became unclear when padding the trousseau was involved to be exchanged by the parents and for the parents. For the love of money being the root of all evil (1 Timothy 6:10 KJV), the welfare of the children was secondary. But God changes not. Him being good and the Father of us all, have we lost sight of His matchmaking skills? You cannot bribe Him. You cannot get any better of a mate than who you portray yourself to be. The odds are consistently favorable with Him. Not even your best attempts to do it yourself could match His designs.

Sunday, September 13, 2009

Test Taking TIme

Ah tests, remember you were given tests in school to prove to your teacher (as well as her supervisor) that she was doing her job and you were actually retaining the information. God does the same thing. You learn something new from Him, whether it is applying the Word to the problem or Him telling you something is being stirred up, how you handle it determines whether you proceed to the next level or ready to go back around that mountain.

In the dating scene the tests are given to potential mates by the other just to see what the temperment, attitude, problem solving skills, discipline to temptation, or if  there are any impulsive tendencies. These tests are not isolated to women administering them to men; whichever the case, it's a universal no-no.

Yup, there are entirely too many people that believe it is the norm to give such an exam to see the potential the individual has to be a mate. Who taught this lesson to do and why did it take? To answer both of those questions all we have to do is go to church. Not only can we see it happen, it has been preached about over and over. Funny thing is, in those sermons there wasn't one verse of scripture mentioned - not one. Because it is just not in there.

God is not a man that He should lie. Therefore, He would not tell us to do anything opposite to His Word. The Word is the truth. It is the truth that sets you free. So how then would He oppose what He has for you and me to be free?

Tests given to each other is a cry for help. The test giver doesn't trust God, doesn't walk by faith, nor will he/she ever be satisfied with who he/she is dating.

If God tells you this is the one, why would he/she need your kind of test? Didn't God already do that? If you need to see what the other would do in your created problem, situation, or specific issue, then you have put your faith at risk by seeing results that you created. Not believing what God has done by saying otherwise puts you in an indecisive category of whom will receive nothing from God (James 1:6-8 AMP). For one who is not content has already opposed God's Word.

Simply stated, if God tempts no man to evil and He is the greater one on the inside of you, why would you? Why would you deliberately pick a fight with someone just because you never had a fight with him/her before and you needed to see what he/she would do? The Word says, "surely the churning of milk bring forth butter, and the wringing of the nose brings forth blood; so forcing wrath bring forth strife (Proverbs 30:33 AMP)."

When my now ex-husband and I were dating, I noticed how easy going and agreeable he was with me. I don't know whether I heard it on T.V. or read it in a book or magazine but I had it in my mind that it was healthy for a relationship to argue. So I asked him about it  and he chuckled. He knew more Word (at the time) than me back then so his levity at my topic of discussion gave me all the juice I needed to pick a fight with him. No matter how much I tried, he wouldn't argue. Later, when we married, I don't think we had a full two weeks of being newlyweds before all he could do was pick, pick, pick and nag, nag, nag! Vows were already spoken then. I felt trapped.

It is a testimony. Take it and use for the Wisdom that is; just remember when you start stirring stuff up that you forgot you put in, don't be surprised with what you get. The Word tells us how can two walk together unless they agree (Amos 3:3 KJV). God doesn't mismatch. Let Him be the test giver and examine the results for He is the one who can see the heart of man (1 Samuel 16:7 KJV).

Monday, September 7, 2009

The Foundation

In the dating basics what should already be laid before building of anything is a sure foundation. The Word tells us that if a house is built on sand it will fold at the first gust of wind but built on a rock will cause the house to stand in the midst of a storm (Luke 6:47-49 AMP).

In Christianity, the rock to which I am referring is Love. Without love there is no Christianity. All of the works, thoughts, and gestures mean nothing. The Word tells us this (1 John 2:5-6AMP).

There must be some sort of practice set for this walk of love by which we can hang all of the commandments and the prophets on: to love the Lord with all of our heart, mind, and strength; also to love our neighbor as we would love ourselves (Matthew 22:37-40 AMP). This constant practice makes life so much easier. It is a little rocky at first much like a baby trying to take his first steps but just like the baby enduring those toddling years eventually walking is a habit and soon to be on his way running where stumbling isn't as often as it once was. This is what God looks for in each of us. Without this practice and still wailing  for a spouse, you get the yoke of what you are equal to (2 Corinthians 6:14 KJV). Look at yourself, your life and attitude - especially when praying to God. Would you like to be married to you? Why would you put anyone else through that?

I raised my children to have some things in place before seeking a spouse. I taught them these things early so they would not make the same mistakes. Though they didn't understand  it when I first taught them, they do understand now and also know who not to date. They listen closely to what people say because they know people will tell you about themselves if you know how to listen.

Wolves come to prey on sheep. Yet if never taught to know what a wolf looks like, the innocence of the individual can be fooled and devoured. I don't wish that for my children or anyone. Would you know what a wolf says or are you him?

A wolf doesn't know how to love but himself. He seeks his own gratification, satisfaction, and manipulates anyone who can give him that which he seeks. Addiction, obsession, oppression, and domestic violence is the sum total of a wolf finding innocence. Wolves, when dating, will speak of change and it is always the other that should change and not himself. If he can get the other to change he knows he has been allowed access to the emotions and eventually the heart.

I dated a man who was in the military. He didn't like it  when mail was called (before the internet) and everyone else got a letter except him. When he came back on leave he was upset with me for not sending him at least a card. We talked on the phone a few times and went to the movies once; I didn't know I was then obligated to write to him (Romans 13:8 AMP). I said nothing but allowed him to express himself. When he went back on duty, he sent me a poem on a display board written in his style of calligraphy. I still didn't write him back. He soon got the message (pun intended).

Some may have seen what I did as being mean. Those views is what wolves prey one. It is called being vulnerable; wolves call it sympathy. For men it is the intensity of a make out session. She gets him all riled up to the point of yearning and then she pulls away for her to get her own type of gratification. She asks for things you would not normally give. Then she pounces. If you indulge in sex before marriage, it will be phenomenal for that first time and then she will have you. Either it is with a pregnancy, a disease, financial obligation, or she could just be the kind who likes to stalk a man. Yes, wolves come in both sexes.

If you know nothing else about the pitfalls of dating, know that the practice of love covers a multitude of sins (1 Peter 4:8 AMP). If you can remain calm while trusting in God with everything - the wolf cannot touch you. In fact, he won't see you. The practice of love keeps you covered in the shadow of His wings (Psalms 91:1-4 AMP).

Sunday, September 6, 2009

Dating Basics

Dating is a choice that we make but for what purpose? Do we date to be seen by the in crowd so that it will be asked later if the two of you are serious or are you really serious about one another to the point of finding the wife and obtaining favor from the Lord? It is not a place where we can dip the tip of our toe into and then decide that we are no longer interested. People are not like they once were. Many are desperate and the least sign of interest will cause a stir in our social circle most commonly known as the church.

Those signs of desperation is not exclusive to women. Men have been seen looking across the congregation at any new member who doesn't know his usual moves and rapping techniques. With all of the media focusing on sex at one point or another, it gets really difficult to keep a focus on temperance and all of the other fruit of the Holy Spirit (Galatians 5:22-23 KJV). The tendency to get those physical needs met takes a precedence and before we know it, the faith we were raised to believe that will carry us through it all is not as paramount as it use to be. What changed? Or the better question is, who changed?

Eye candy is a term used to describe what one likes to look at. We see the benefits of having eye candy when celebrities walk the red carpet with the desire of so many admirers on his arm. The fantasy then becomes that we can have this too with out all of the status that the celebrities have. Problem is the equality of such a yoke (2 Corinthians 6:14 KJV) must be in agreement or said superficial Christian will be headed down a very dark and rocky road.

So now we have three topics that need clarity in the dating arena: choices, desperation, and eye candy. You would think these topics will take a life time or at least three pages to complete and make sense of. This would only be true to those who cannot understand the basic building blocks of Christianity. First and foremost, Jesus is Lord. Then believing He is who He is takes faith and with that faith we use it as it is defined: faith is the substance of things hoped for the evidence of things not seen. Having the understanding of faith, we then walk by it and not by sight. If we cannot agree with these basic building blocks, then there is no point in you continuing to read this material. For without these basics, Christianity is a label you have put upon yourself without the practical useage God intended.

Now for the topics; God told us that life and death are in the power of the tongue and for us to choose life. If we made the decision of having life then we will and we will have it more abundantly because of our belief that God sent His only begotten Son on our behalf. Once we made the decision, that is it. We have allowed for our Heavenly Father to be just that! As I tell my children when they were small, I have decades on your few years. Why wouldn't you listen to my experience rather than experience the pitfalls of your own mistakes? If I have those decades, how much more time does the Ancient of Days Who created us have on us? He says that He knew us before we were formed in the womb. Just as He knows this about you, He knows this about everyone else. So why wouldn't you put all of your faith and trust in Him? It only makes sense doesn't it?

Desperation is a euphemism for fear. The fear in the context of dating is that all of the good men will be gone before you get your chance? All of the women will be used all up and have so much to be delivered from before you can meet them? Or the one I use to have, there won't be any saved men left? In this huge world where there are billions of people thinking the same thing - are you serious? And for the women thinking about that biological clock banging away - all I have to say is what about Sarah (Abraham) having her first child at 100. What do you have to worry about? Oh, and those eggs getting too old? Well, the Word tells us that we have what we say we have and as a man thinks so is he. God tells us to speak good things and if it is true, honest, just, pure, lovely, and of a good report - think on those things. What category will old eggs fall under? What about no more good women or men? With those questions answered, whom shall you fear, whom shall you be afraid?

As far as candy goes, whether it be for the eyes or the tummy, too much of it will make you sick. 'Nuff said!