Monday, July 21, 2014

Putting His Super On Your Superficial

Everybody has a type. We know what floats our boat - well, for the most part anyway. If its not the long hair its the curly locks. If not the lean, strong, silent type then its the muscle bound, wide grin with a sense of humor. We all know what we like and are attracted to. There's nothing the matter with that.

Its funny when certain people don't know they have a type. They never realize it until someone tells them how much the first girlfriend looks like the last one. Or is it that he never got over the first one and the uncanny resemblance is perfect for what he is trying to recapture or trying to get right what he did wrong the first time? Yeah, that's too deep for me. Yeesh!

Remember that guy I told you about a few years ago? He looked like my ex's twin. I saw him at my church and almost swallowed my tongue. I stared at him just to make sure it wasn't my actual ex. It wasn't, but he had the same build, the defined arms, his skin was so clear and chocolate like and...what am I doing?!! I tried to stay as far away from him as I could. I definitely don't need to repeat that in my life. In the name of Jesus, I am a new creation and will not repeat the same mistakes as I had done in the past. No kind of way, never, never, ever again!!!

Okay, how weird was it that he was at the college I graduated from when I happened to be there too? He sat right next to me and we struck up a conversation. Why oh why didn't I just run from the room screaming? I should have! He talked a good game though (so did the serpent). I learned that he's a born again believer and has a daughter he is raising all alone while trying to get his graduate degree. I listened and was sucked right into that vortex. But it wasn't the same, I said to myself. He's funny and we have so much in common. He asked for my number and the best time for him to call me. It was the mannerable thing to ask. Ah, manners!

So when he called, I wasn't thinking that it all could be a test for God to see if I was going to ask Him, trust Him, be mindful of Him as I have said I would do over and over again in prayers when I was looking for a job, wondering why its taking so long for me to find a decent car, and why all men were varying degrees of crap. I was thinking, "Yay! The dry spell is over and I am interesting to someone again! Thank you, Jesus!"

The conversation was riveting. It was so nice to speak to an adult that could have an input on so many different levels. He was drool and I was witty if I do say so myself. He laughed at the right points and I didn't have to explain who certain actors were or what movie they had been in to get to the original point. It wasn't at all exhausting talking to him. It was exciting and refreshing at the same time. Before we knew it, it was morning and we both had jobs to go to in a few hours. He asked if he could call me again that evening at the same time. If I wasn't so swooned by him asking if he could call me again, the answer would have escaped from my mouth before he could finish asking the question.

Ha-Ha, I am about to be asked out on a date! 
This had to be my thought at some point because I don't know what happened to me thinking as a practical woman with responsibilities, children to raise, and goals to complete. I already had enough on my plate and didn't need a relationship to distract me from the original plan. What was I feeling? Feeling? Does giddy feel the same as peace, synonymous with joy, or comparable to righteousness?
But he speaks like he has good sense. How often is that going to come along? 

That night, I got home in plenty of time to spend with my children, fix dinner, check homework, and have them off to bed. I cleaned the dishes, got myself comfortable all right before the time he indicated when he was going to call again. The phone rang. I waited a moment to answer. It was him. He asked about my day. 

Okay, hold on. Who does that anymore? Ask about someone else's day? Usually its all about them or how much more info can he find out to use against you at a later date. We are all about guarding ourselves for that not to happen again. He asked about my day? Com'mon, that's pretty cool.

I kept myself from sighing before giving him a quick response so not to be too boring. He then told me about his in the same manner. We chuckled, you know - all polite and stuff. Then he asked me that all encompassing question that's on most men's minds but they have been trained not to speak of it until well into the relationship when hearts are all involved and arguments have taken place. When the care of the other's feelings aren't paramount and you know you aren't going anywhere because there are smaller people incorporated into the mix. Its when things could be ugly and messy if you get an attitude. Its a question that was so far out of the scope of inappropriate, that I can't come up with a word that describes what I was feeling at the time; however the deafening silence spoke volumes. He asked me that very evening of our second conversation ever in life, never having any history between us other then those hours spent talking on the phone the night before, "what's your favorite sexual position?"

What-tah?!! What happened to the suave, debonair guy I was talking to the night before? Where did he go? I would have never wasted my time if I knew this guy was like that, why would I? With all that I have to do....and then I knew. Who did I listen to when I saw this guy the first time? Why did I continue to listen to him when I was in the college library? What happened to me acknowledging God in all of my ways? I would like to think that God is on my mind all of the time; yet, this man's first 5 minutes on the phone shocked me. Could it have gone another way? Sure could, only in the time when I was getting things together for his call, I was praying. As much as I enjoyed our first conversation and was looking forward to the next one, I know Who my source is and I didn't leave Him out of the equation. The past was a good teacher for me and won't be repeated. I was a little green then, its better now. I hope this helped someone.

Tuesday, July 1, 2014

Powerful Advertising

There are some things you would think is obvious not to do (Exodus 22:19 AMP). What I forget about is that there is a new generation that has sprouted out from being children into adulthood and have been taught from a media and social network that just weren't there when I was growing up. So some of the things I write, I direct towards them. Everything isn't common sense anymore and some have to pick up the rudimentary basics to realize the do's and don't in Christian dating have been written for our own good .

For instance, it has been told and some older men will let the young girls know today, if you advertise your
body by wearing scantily clad clothes, or taking pictures and posting them on social networks, you cannot be surprised with what sort of guy you get (Galatians 6:7 AMP). He will expect for you to put out the moment he sees you. Why? Because in his mind, he knows he was not the first to answer the advertisement. What ad? The picture you posted on Insta-gram, Facebook, and Twitter. Everything else read after that picture was a commercial. So there he is! Now what are you going to do with him? He is eager to see the goods in person. Why are you displeased with his behavior? Acting like an animal, is he? Yeah, they sort of do that when enticed and there is no conversation, boundaries or commitment established. You see, he has no reason to be disciplined because you have shown that you aren't either. You are equally yoked. Have fun!

I know it doesn't sound pretty. That's the point. You have to see things as practical life skills and use what God has given you for your benefit - His Word (Psalm 146:3 AMP)! Magazines sell because there are marketing geniuses that have established what the public would like to see more of. Smaller businesses have copied that sort of thinking to establish a miniature version of success. Vogue will not put a bum on the front cover of their magazine because they aren't trying to appeal to social workers and human service professionals. They use the biggest icon they can that has the look for a certain style of clothing. When the younger sect sees that cover, they buy the magazine and are sold on all of the ads to purchase the clothing (2 Timothy 3:6 AMP). The strategy worked and the industry is booming because of it. The industry crosses their fingers hoping that the younger generation never loses their ability to be easily manipulated by flashy colors and a famous name.

Look at the advertising in the bible. One of the biggest commercials of the Old Testament, and I have written about it before, is with David and Goliath. David was doing what he was called to do. He was out in the field tending to the sheep. Everyone else was in society listening to the gossip and reading the fliers that would be posted on every tree and door. They knew who Goliath was. He was described in great detail. The children of Israel hoped to never come against the Philistines because they knew they would be wiped out because of what they read on the flier and believed it was the truth. The army didn't have to fight with such a giant as their ally. All he had to do was roar; every other group that the Philistines had come against were turned into slaves or killed.

The time came. Saul knew what he had to do. He stood head and shoulders above all of the people in the village (1 Samuel 9:2;10:23 AMP). He was the king...and still with all of his experience, he didn't want to fight a giant either (1 Samuel 17:11 AMP). Enters David: he was coming to deliver his brothers their lunch and saw there was an uproar in the camp (1 Samuel 17:17-18 AMP). Notice that he inquired as to what was happening. He didn't know about the advertisement. He never knew there was a giant. What did David know about? He knew that he was serving an all powerful God that called Israel His own. Understanding that someone was opposing God is all David heard and he was ready for battle based on that small piece of information (1 Samuel 17:26 AMP). Trying to give David more then that served as waste. He spent time understanding who God is rather then entertaining the fear in a description of a giant who has never did anything for him, whom he has never seen fight, and has called God's children, dogs. David had righteous indignation and rightfully so (1 Samuel 17:34-36 AMP).

Here's the interesting thing about the ad. Goliath never fought anyone. He couldn't. He was not physically nor ergonomically able to wrestle much less battle. His height coupled with his weight made it impossible for him to stay on his feet for any long length of time. His armor only made him all the more heavier (1 Samuel 17:4-6 AMP). He couldn't carry his own shield and sword (1 Samuel 17:7 AMP). They were also huge and needed someone else to carry it for him. He was a walking billboard of fear and those that read the fliers believed it.

In terms of Christian dating, you have to consider the source. If you are all googlie-eyed for what you see in a selfie taken in a bathroom, then you deserve what you get (1 Corinthians 10:13 AMP). A selfie doesn't tell you if this person is kind, considerate, loves the Lord, or even knows who the Lord is. Why take those chances? Posting pictures of your butt, you must be advertising for booty-calls. Pouted lips and cleavage, what would a guy be thinking you are posting that ad for? Shots in your undies, what is he thinking now? You are advertising impatience and someone who is just as impatient will be trying to meet you. You won't like the out come of that. Do you think his mind is on Jesus after seeing your bathroom shot? Was yours? Really (2 Timothy 3:1-5 AMP)?!!