Monday, February 2, 2015

"No Matter What I Do, Just Keep Giving Honey"

The title of this entry reminds me of a statement I heard a man say to his wife. A wife that was overwhelmed with things he had her do for him. She was frustrated because being married to him was nothing she expected nor anything he promised her. When she reached the end of her rope, he would remind her about being submissive and the Lord would find favor in all that she does as his wife. Whatever she was about to say was stifled because she did, if nothing else, wished to be pleasing to the Lord (Hebrews 11:6 AMP). Years passed and he continued to remind her of this honey statement until she finally said to him, "How can I keep giving you honey when you have done nothing for me to produce it?" At that, he was at a loss for words (Ephesians 5:25 AMP).

A woman can tolerate so much because, if mature, she can see the big picture and strives to achieve that goal. She hopes for her children to be happy and for her husband to be satisfied daily (Proverbs 31 AMP). She uses what she has and makes it into something that marvels most. Give her a house, she makes a home. Give her a bag of groceries, she can cook a satisfying meal. Give her love, appreciation, and affection and the limits of what she does with it hasn't been measured. So why don't we know of these women, or do we? So why haven't we heard about these attributes that men have and give to their wives, or have we? Are these lessons taught in the church or was I absent that day?

A pastor said that men are hunters and women are gatherers. Men are rational and women are emotional. Men like to have facts and women like to hear stories. From that perspective, one can see how human kind has evolved, I suppose. But we are also Christians and have put away with that neanderthal sinful nature (Ephesians 4:16-32 AMP). We have learned to be more like Christ and walk in love in all that we do. We have accepted the Holy Spirit as our comfort and our guide, so for the most part, we all should be walking the same path in agreement. We are laborers working for the harvest that belongs to God. We understand what has to be heard for the harvest to be great (Luke 19:2 AMP). We understand that we walk the narrow way because there will be too many trying to incorporate ways that don't belong to God and will be headed for destruction (Matthew 7:13 AMP). So you can see, there is no gender divide as long as we continue to be focused on the things above.

How has this very simple thing called dating become so difficult and convoluted then? Why are women struggling to get men to understand them and men choose to be non-communicative with their wives yet so talkative to women they haven't invested anything in? How do men expect for their wives to be perceptive and attentive to them when they haven't made those same deposits? How can you expect kindness to do what it does if we are still holding on to the sinful nature? The world thinks that people should generally be good. God, the definition of good, tells us to do as the world does makes you an enemy of His (James 4:4 AMP). Why are we making this harder then what it is?

A pastor told his congregation that whatever the woman did to get her man, that's what she has to do to keep him. I hoped he was going to be a little more insightful then leave that statement to be information all by itself. What he qualified it with was, if she used her feminine wiles to get him then she will have to keep doing it to keep him. If she wore perfume when dating then she should continue to do so. Know that he was attacking this on a superficial level, I waited to see if he would at least balance it or get deeper. He chose not to. The men walked away thinking, as they have for decades, its all on her. Really? Does the body lead the head? How much more would she have to do? Why when courting her he had all of the beautiful words but after marriage the wooing stopped? Doesn't she need the beautiful words anymore?

A young man asked his child hood sweetheart to marry him after they had been dating for almost 2 years. She accepted his proposal. It wasn't long before they found a house together to furnish and make it their home. They purchased things together to make the house a home, but for the most part, like the carpet, it just laid there. Sounds pretty standard only she became pregnant and the house was never completed within that first year. Her newly married husband had every excuse for not laying the carpet and then he lost his job. His drive to find another left him. While out shopping for groceries and anything else the house could use to be more comfortable, she came upon rolls of carpet batting that someone was throwing away. She pulled the car over, opened the trunk, and her large, 3rd tri-mester pregnant self haul the rolls of carpet up and in wherever she could fit it in. When she got home, she was so excited to let her husband know what she found and has it waiting for him in the car for the carpet to finally be laid. What do you think her husband's reaction was? Should he be pleased with all of her efforts or angry for putting his unborn child and herself in jeopardy?

It is interesting as well as frustrating how the roles have changed over the years. The women have taken over it seems because men weren't going fast enough or maybe they just didn't want to do it anymore. We know where this came from and it will take Jesus to make it whole again. Men have been blaming women for everything that's wrong in the world and women have done the same. It lets me know, maturity hasn't presented itself. Nevertheless, women were made for men and not the other way around. His determination to blame woman only shows how much help he really needs. But would that be the woman's issue to show him the error of his ways or is he showing her the relationship he has with God is at the point of God asking where he is (Genesis 3:9 AMP)? Why would a woman place that man as the head of her?

There was this man interested in me. He went about introducing himself with jokes that he thought were funny, apparently. But I never found the 3 Stoogies funny and his humor was bordering on just that. Yet he didn't quit. I suppose a woman might find persistence endearing when being pursued; however, when the woman isn't interested and he still continues, it is considered stalking and can be legally punished. Let that be a warning to all who didn't have a clue. Anyway, I asked him to read some of these entries to have an idea where I am in Christ. I don't know how many he read, suffice to say that he believes my views are one sided. He is correct, they are. Which side do you think I am on? What side do you think he said when I asked?

The title of this entry might have one thinking that it is what we are to do as Christians. I wouldn't disagree because our reward is not to hear man say, servant well done and we are building our treasure in heaven (Matthew 6:1-20 AMP). So what is the problem? The problem comes when there is a society where Christian women are destined to do it all because men, when boys, have not been raised with both parents and all he has seen is his mother be a father and a mother to him. It is what he is used to and in his world, there is nothing the matter with that. He was not privy to seeing how stressed out his mother was wondering if she could have the strength to do it all again the next day and raise those children too. He didn't see her struggle with leaving it all or calling CPS to have them picked up so she could have peace of mind. He didn't see her get up early or stay up late crying out to the Lord in prayer to keep her while she tries her level best to make it through. Why would any man wish this upon his wife? Answer: because he doesn't know. No one told him. There is a void in his life and he isn't aware of it. If she accepts him, then she has the same issues as he does, thinking she can do it all. Its what attracted him to her - she's just like Mom.

Is that ideal the beginning of a failed relationship? Think about it. A farmer sows seed to get the crop he expects. God planted his only begotten Son into the earth to reap a strong harvest. Most people cling to those they are influenced by. Guilty by association sort of thinking. When a man marries a woman much like his mother, he can't be ready to be a viable, responsible man. Here is where the theory is flawed: even a boy gives his mother a hug of gratitude. Would a wife, doing it all, get that much? Or does he leave realizing that the attraction is gone because he finally grew up not needing anymore what his mother used to give him? This might be a hard pill to swallow, but it is not the responsibility for the wife to build up her husband. He receives this from his parents and then with his relationship with God. The wife helps him with his vision. If he has no vision, what is she there for?

Friday, January 9, 2015

Raising The Bar

Happy New Year to you all in Jesus's name. May there be happiness and health to you and yours. May you see what many refuse to in this coming year, and may it enlighten your journey in the life we have chosen (2 Peter 1:9 AMP). This has been my hope for you as you read many of these entries.

It has been my passion for the last 5-6 years in writing these blogs, that which I believe is the truth and have not heard in any teaching, assists in being easily applied for you to do something so different and radical that your life shows what you always dreamt it could be. Isn't that what Jesus came to earth for (John 10:10 KJV)?

I was asked a few days ago what I would be doing different this year that I haven't already done. Frankly, aside from my usual weight loss resolution that dissolves within 10 days, I hadn't thought about it. In her 80's, she was excited about making plans to go to see her childhood home thousands of miles from where she currently resides. Her plans were detailed knowing that as an elderly woman, it wouldn't be in her best interest to travel alone. Her best friend just passed away a few months ago. Where I would think she would be grieving over such the loss, she was striving to find out what else she could get out of life. I was inspired (Acts 2:28 AMP)!

So what are you going to do or have you made it to the place that has been your passion for all of these years? Have you applied every Christian principle and can teach someone else how to get there (2 Timothy 2:2 AMP)? I know I am still learning but I also know that I won't repeat the same mistakes over and over. The lessons I have learned I reapply so not have to go through that sort of trauma again. Do you? Or do you get so frustrated in the wait, that you go back to "old school"? The term "old school," in Christian principles, doesn't mean back in the day when life was good and simple. The Word tells us not to refer to the past as the good old days (Ecclesiastes 7:10-13 AMP). Its an oxymoron, seeing that the old has past away and God is the only one that is good. By "old school", I mean the ways that you relinquished when you accepted Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior. Will you have to go back to the milk of the Word and be taught again (Hebrews 5:12 AMP)?

While working in my place of employment, I have become acquainted with many of the elderly residents and those calling themselves Christians as opposed to those actually living the life (Acts 19:1-18 AMP). I have watched Jewish people becoming more accepting of Christianity then those that have been professing that Jesus is Lord. Fascination puts it mildly when seeing those who used to participate in bible study only to slowly leave the classes because there was an "itch" that needed scratching. Having rendezvouses at an elderly age while not being monogamous, as I wrote fascination is putting it mildly. Statistics have shown that STD's are on the rise with the elderly....with the elderly!!!

It is the older that is supposed to be teaching the younger (Titus 2:2-12 AMP). What has happened? Sometimes I try to tell someone who is older then me something I have learned in order to stay healthy. They look at me with glazed over eyes having a rebuttal that doesn't make sense or they just don't wish to admit they are wrong in that respect. When I know they are no longer listening, what else is there to say? I no longer worry over such matters. Jesus told the disciples to knock the dust off and move on (Luke 9:5 AMP). You do realize that the flesh of man was created from dust? So why keep allowing it to have your time rather then having it crucified with its lusts and affections?

Having sexual desires are normal. As a single person, what do you do about it? Do you feed the desire by watching movies of people having sex or the innuendo of sex? Do you preoccupy your time helping someone in need when those desires come about? Do you study the Word of God during that time? If so, what is the verse that you repeat when those fiery darts of temptation try to hit the bull's eye of which you have become once you made that declaration to stay on the straight and narrow (Matthew 7:13 AMP)?

In The Kingdom Living Blog I was going to rename it to be Fiery Extinguisher because I hoped to have enough scripture and lessons for those who came across opposition to be well equipped with enough in their arsenal (Ephesians 6:10-18 AMP). Funny, during those few days with the name change, all of the fans I had - left. Either they couldn't find the blog or they didn't understand the new title. People rarely like change. It forces them to have to make a move where it used to be comfortable. Like it or not, we all grow. Ready or not, Jesus is still coming! Knowing that, should have forced us all to change - for the better!

What I hope we can all visualize and remember is this: in a Christian's life, there is an outer court, an inner court, and the holy of holies. The outer court is for those we see everyday and deal with on a regular basis. The inner court is our family, friends...close relationships. The holy of holies houses the Lord, the Holy Spirit, and your heart. The only other person belonging in there is your spouse....and even then its with the permission of the Lord. If we abide by this rule, there would be less heart ache and people dying of diseases concerning the heart. This is my theory based upon royalty living in a palace. Jesus is the King of kings and Lords of lords. Greater is He that is in me (us) then he that is in the world. If our bodies are a temple and He is living there, aren't we children of a King? So why do we act with such frivolity? Why don't we scrutinize those that are trying to worm their way in to be closer (2 Timothy 3:6 AMP) having the wrong intentions? Are you allowing the desire to takeover or can't you see yourself as royalty with a higher standard?

Now, I ask, as I have continually in this blog, why hasn't this been taught? And if it has, why isn't it heard as often as the fire and brimstone messages? Do believer's need a constant reminder of death or the life we chose all those many years ago (2 Timothy 3 AMP)? So now that we have chosen the best thing in Christ, let's move on with messages that are complimentary to that decision (James 1 AMP). After all, royalty always expects the best.

Sunday, December 21, 2014

Hark The Herald Angels Sing....

This is the time of year when some of us single people start making assessments of our lives and wonder if there will ever be the right person to come along or be presented to. Its a time when we are invited to family gatherings to exchange gifts. Its a time when we should be happy, but during those family gatherings, whether you make those self actualizing assessments or not, your family has and will undoubtedly know what's best for you when they think you don't. The questions of if you will ever marry anyone or will Nana ever have any great grand children or did you meet Mrs. Wilson's daughter/son down the road? She/he's back in town and is single too. Or the actual "fix-up" was invited to spend the night just to see what you look like in the morning and how you deal with your day.

Ah, family.... you didn't design them and they won't allow you to redesign them either - no matter how much you plead. Yet, if they were any different then who they are, you would not be the person you are. That's a good thing. Being single at the age you are right now, you don't feel like its all that good, but it is (Philippians 4:11 AMP). You have been created for a time such as this...someone needed you at a crucial moment in their life and you never thought it was a big deal but it was to them. Life has changed for several people because of your existence. My mother told me that when you think no one is looking at you, that's when someone is. Not in that stalker crazy way but in a way where the person is emulating your mannerisms, desiring to be more like you, admiring how you can take a stressful situation and deal calmly with the problem (Matthew 5:16 AMP). Its your own message from God without you even trying.

A couple of weeks ago, a man took his life. I didn't know him very well but I saw him all of the time. He had a girlfriend and she loved him dearly. He was an elderly man but you couldn't tell by looking at him. He kept himself physically fit and looked as if he was middle aged. Retired, he didn't waste a moment just lazing around. He swam everyday and traveled extensively. Just returning back from the tropics he noticed a tremor he had was getting worse. He lost his balance once and decided to go see a doctor to find if there was anything wrong with him. He was diagnosed with Parkinson's Disease. The next day, his remains were discovered. The question that I have heard when someone has made a decision to leave this world is, how could a person be so selfish? There is a myriad of answers that has nothing to do with what God thinks of the matter. Can a person, who loves the Lord, be so depressed about his/her circumstances that leaving this world is the answer (John 10:27 AMP)? There is no way to answer that when you put Jesus in the equation....and because of that, the first question is answered.

You see, its this time of year when we are not the focus. We are supposed to be thinking of others, if not during this season - when? If being at home alone is depressing, go out and be elsewhere. If going to the family gathering to answer the same questions is something to dread, don't go.  If watching couples skating, holding hands and kissing when you don't have anyone to hold makes you feel melancholy, find something else to do. Can't think of anything? Go to a crisis center and answer phone calls of others feeling the same way or are worse off then you. Pray for them (James 5:16 AMP). Go to a soup kitchen and serve passing out bread or dishing out some soup. Go to the children's hospital and give some gifts or read a story to children who are less fortunate then you (James 1:27 AMP). Just as many complaints one can give, there are so many reasons not to. Complaints come from focusing on one'self most of the time (Philippians 2:14 AMP). There are 24 hours in a day - place most of that time on someone else (2 Corinthians 9:7 AMP). If that didn't shake "the blahs" off, do what was previously suggested for more then an hour, and again the next day. Just be more aware of others and what you can do for them.

What does this have to do with being single? Everything. You aren't just single, you are a Christian. We strive to be more like Christ. If He spent His day thinking of Himself, we wouldn't be called Christians. We would be sinners on our way to hell.

Why was this entry entitled from the lyric of a Christmas carol? I was in a restaurant last week and the holiday music was wafting through the establishment. I heard this song and was humming it in my mind and had to stop because I recognized that the singer changed the words to the song. I stopped humming and listened to the rest of the course just in case I got something wrong. Nope, she changed it. The song I remember without checking the lyrics on google, went something like this:
Hark, the herald angels sing,
Glory to the new born King.
Peace on earth and mercy mild,
God and sinner reconciled.
Joyful all ye nations rise,
Joyful are the triumphant skies,
With angelic host proclaim,
Christ is born in Bethlehem.
Hark, the herald angels sing,
Glory to, the new born King!

What the singer changed was glory to the new born King to Jesus Christ is born. I suppose one could think its practically the same thing and shouldn't mean that much. So why change it? If this subtle change is acceptable, what else will be changed? The bible was taken out of the public school system. The children changed and everyone noticed that. Who said, that the bibles should be put back? Everyone. Did it happen yet? Christmas is the celebration of the birth of our Lord and Savior. It is the one time when the spirit is around the world in full strength. People can't help but to smile. Be aware of those subtle changes around you. Be sensitive to the Holy Spirit. Notice more then yourself and pray. Always be vigilant in your prayers. Always.

Monday, December 8, 2014

Avoiding the Geezers and Skeezers

...unless that's what you are attracted to. If so, please disregard and check back next week. For everyone else of the faith, listen closely.

A couple of years ago, I wrote an entry entitled, Slim Pick'ns?. The encouragement was pouring out of it for the reader to know, as time marches on and the selection looks less and less, to rejoice. Its the broad way that leads to destruction. Meaning, because there is so much to choose from, if one relationship doesn't work out, you would always be wondering, "what if it was her/him and I missed out on my blessing." Those entertained suggestions would be a lack of faith and if continued to be entertained by them, regret would gain access (James 1:6 AMP). With this little bit of explanation, you can see where the destruction comes in and how it can spill over into everything. Now, the side note: do you also see how temptation works? The enemy does his job. You are responsible to do yours (1 Peter 1:16 AMP). A lack of faith will give the enemy access to all of your treasure. Do you see that (Luke 11:21-26 AMP)?

Some years ago, getting a little impatient myself, I went scrolled through a selection of men in my age group with a certain status created on a Christian website. Thrilled wasn't exactly the reaction with what was left. Disappointment is putting it mildly therefore, I went to look in other age groups where it didn't used to be a big deal. What I mean is, back in my 30's, the gentlemen being a few years older was a good thing. 20 years older wasn't that bad. The cut off age would come when the selection started to look like the winos at the local convenience store and wondering how this or that guy got on the website? Missing teeth and a bit scraggly was someone else's blessing, cup of tea, or boat floater. It wasn't mine. The cut off limit back then was 10 - 15 years older. That quickly changed to 5-8 years and now....I am smack in the middle of the group I was avoiding. Time marches on whether you are ready or not and being a cougar isn't appealing.

In another entry, I wrote about a man who seemed to be interested, came up to me and gave me his phone number. I wasn't attracted to him, though politely, I accepted his phone number. He was pleasant enough, he just looked like some of those men on that website. Weeks later, I was approached by another man, looking the same way as the previous man written about in that entry. And then it happened again. Was there a convention in town? They all looked the same but were completely different men. I was getting a  bit discouraged; nevertheless, did some reflecting to see what it is I had to change or was it a test where some of us don't recognize and eventually give in because that's all that out there. Yeesh, its a scary thought but not unforeseen because it has the making of desperation all over it.

In an entry entitled Grumpy Old Men, there are scenarios for the reader to see that people who are supposed to get better with age like a fine wine - don't, if they don't care to. They have to make some sort of effort. Too many people getting to a certain age and believing they have a right to be thoughtless and inconsiderate was a goal. I seriously doubt if anyone finds those kinds of qualities endearing. Still, some change for the sake of the date and when the vows have been taken, the real leach comes out of hiding. This entry is to assist in avoiding that horror show.

So with that picture in mind, when going out on a date with this potential person to marry: the guy believes she is the one that God presented to him like the way He did with Adam and the woman. The woman on the date should be knowing this as well. There, that's the first thing agreed upon. If you don't have at least that, what are you doing? Answer: getting in trouble! Back to the couple in agreement, now the title of this entry is avoiding the skeezers and geezers. How are you going to do that? Well, did you pray before the date? Do you have a plan with the questions that you are going to ask? Were the answers what you expected or at least, interesting? If yes, good - you are well on your way in establishing a good, loving relationship with this person. If not, (sigh) please click on the highlighted portions and get to studying. Dating is not your biggest problem.

Thursday, November 27, 2014

The Gush Versus The Woo (Ladies)

It is normal to ask a man, if he hasn't already told you, what it was that attracted him to you. Some might speak in a riddle thinking he is cute, a poem, or directly. Whichever the way he chooses, the intention is still the same: flattery and distraction. Now let that settle for a moment, knowing who you are in Christ.

First, this is for the ladies, though the guys are welcome to continue on reading. Second, I know this is going to mess up many of men and the rap they have been using for years; nevertheless, if you continue to read this, you will realize how much sense it makes and why neither you or him has been getting anywhere with your relationship.

Flattery is what we all like to hear and while they are talking, depending on whether you are mature enough, we look into their eyes and for mannerisms to see if the guy with all of his lovely language is being sincere or is his plan less then honorable (Matthew 7:17-19 AMP). Distraction takes the focus off of the good intentions, if there were any. If what is on your mind is to date for the purposes of marriage without having to compromise your principles, a smooth talker can change all of that (Psalms 55:21 AMP). How? There are those who are starved for affection and attention. All it takes is the tiniest of compliment to turn the head - and that's not good.

A young man asked about a young woman who was raised by her single mother with no brothers. It was like a wolf stalking his prey. By asking about this young woman to anyone who knew her, he was doing what many evangelists and pastors have suggested for single people to do (Proverbs 7:4-5 AMP). However, if she isn't mature and has some sort of identity crisis, she would be one of many that fall victim to the "booty call" - the wolf's answer to her quiet shrieking need for attention and affection. This kind of interaction is quick, satisfying (temporarily), having little to no concern for the casualties (children being influenced) in its quake (Mark 9:42 AMP). With this same need by so many and because of the mistakes from the previous generation, this guy could juggle 2-3 of them just by using flattery for distraction.

What mistakes from the previous generation? The ones when we were told to be in the house before the street lights came on, but thought we were grown enough to do whatever we wanted to do....and then 9 months later have all kinds of excuses for not wanting to take care of those responsibilities (Proverbs 10:17 AMP). Nevertheless, instead of learning that valuable and exhausting lesson, either from personal experience, a parent's re-evaluating what didn't work the first time, or seeking counseling, the young woman is now focusing on getting married to have a father figure for the unplanned child. That never happens because there are more wolves then there are decent guys in the land of Oakie Doke and unbeknownst to her - she has turned into one of them (a she-wolf). She continues to be distracted having another unplanned pregnancy for that child to be starved for attention and affection as well. Meaning, she is raising more of them to be like her...and they aren't all female. "Everyone makes mistakes," is the slogan of the world; however, after the 3rd, 5th, and 7th child all having different fathers and no one pays child support - its no longer considered a mistake but a choice of lifestyle (1 Timothy 5:8 KJV). You see, flattery does get you somewhere, just not where you thought you would be.

On the flip side, I have to refer to my Lord and Savior. From the Old Testament, the prophetic Word keeps appearing about the coming of the Messiah and what He is going to do. The people are anticipating His coming. Their preparation is keeping the 10 Commandments in hopes that they are righteous enough for Him. When He comes (The New Testament), those who are aware come baring gifts. As He grows from a boy to a man, the gifts don't stop coming and the Word tells us what catches His eye. He notices the best efforts and its faith that gets His attention (Luke 8:43-48 AMP). The affection He has for people never ceases and it is noticeable every time He comes to see us (Matthew 9:23-25 AMP). He speaks kindly and has thought provoking words that changes us from the inside out (John 4:1-42 AMP). When He leaves its only for a moment so we can build our faith as He did so we can be more like Him (John 16:7 AMP). Why would we need to be more like Him? So we are recognized when He comes for His bride.

Look at this from a smaller scale, before the fall of man. There was no sin. It is the place we are trying to get to again. This place is heaven; nevertheless, in the garden of Eden, God and Adam corresponded. When it was all said and done, there was a presentation made - woman. The fall happened after the presentation and then God asked, "where are you?" Something happened that separated the correspondence - sin. Jesus came so we could have that correspondence again. For it is written, no one can come to the Father but through the Son. This lesson is not bashed over our heads to be submissive nor is it needed to be used as a fear tactic to be a Christian nor used as bribe for us to do as He would have us to do. This is what man has done to it. God is good and loves us. The lesson is clear for us to decide what we are going to do with our lives. Once the decision is made (life), the understanding is next, which leads to the abundance He came to give (John 10:10 AMP).

Now, if we take the method Jesus used - the mistake slogan can fall by the way side. In Christ, there is no identity crisis. We have much to do and are about our Father's business. Because of this, the intentions are always good and honorable. Flattering words become annoying because the flesh has been crucified with its lusts and affections (Galatians 5:24 AMP). We know we are loved and receive attention through Him because our worship and praise are reciprocated. He delights in the prosperity of His servants because our faith is constantly working. Why? We know its impossible to please Him without it.

So you see there is a difference between gushing over someone and being wooed. Gushing feeds the flesh and temporarily sustains the lust and greedy appetite. Wooing draws the Spirit and plants your feet to walk on a plain path. Gushing will eventually leave you alone and desperate. Wooing will keep you filled and builds you up to be strong and mature. Your eyes must be open to these tactics or you will be prey to temptation that is waiting for a fall - again.

Thursday, October 30, 2014


I used to be a seamstress when I was in college trying to make ends meet. I learned that it wasn't the garment I was really trying to sell but all of the small details that made the garment better then what a customer could purchase off the rack. Not only was it custom fitted, it had closed or french seams so the construction of the garment was durable even in the wash. I would add expensive buttons and leather accents when needed. The design would be simple enough but with all of the details, it made the customer come back to see what else I created.

That's business. Its what all business owners do to maintain a brand (Proverbs 6:9-11 AMP). Should this be any different in a marriage or establishing a relationship for marriage? We already discussed thoroughly how the dating process is more like an interview then anything else. We know that if you become distracted with the dress to impress and all of the flattering words, you lose sight of the whole purpose for the date - marriage (Jude 1:16 AMP). If your mind is on anything else, its not good. Plain and simple. The romance, flowers, letters, and the actual wooing begins when there is an agreement between both parties for exclusivity to create an engagement, otherwise it serves as a distraction. The agreement between both parties is the initiation of a contract. The reason for this entry is, has preparation for that time come and continued?

Before the presentation for the date, there is a preparation. We know what the guy has to do and hopefully so does he or the date is going to be short and a little bitter. But the female has so much to consider when she knows she has been chosen to be the help a specific man needs. There is an anointing to be a wife. It is a ministry all by itself (1 Peter 3 AMP). So how have you prepared yourself? What was the specific thing you changed and continued to be the assistance with ease?

I am finding Bishop T.D. Jakes' sermon from so many years back, "Get Ready, Get Ready, Get Ready!!!" an instructional tool for so many different aspects in a believer's life. For this topic, it tells us what we should be doing and must continue to do. Men, we have been over what should have already been established for you not to be alone. It is not good to be alone when you have a house, a job, a plan, provision, and a vision. God made the provision for Adam and then proclaimed that man needed help. This is a good lesson to all of those who think that young love needs to struggle to be in a good relationship. Do the struggling and growing up independent of ruining anyone else's life. I don't know why people won't teach that more then they have!!!

Then God created the help meet for Adam. Has it been established what she will be doing to help him? Should she have some insight as to what she should be doing? While that question could get really deep from who you are in Christ to the Holy Spirit showing us things to come, I shall keep it as simple as possible. There are basics that women should automatically be doing. These basics are not necessarily keeping the place where you live habitable because if you make enough money you can hire a housekeeper, cook, gardener, and carpenter for your home. There is nothing the matter with that. The Proverbs 31 woman had a house staff to tell what they need to do for the day to be successful. What I am referring to is your personal house - the body. Back fat, shaved pits, legs, and other places. I am referring to woolly eyebrows, skin tags, jagged fingernails, a paunch, and talons for toenails. Do you wash your hair once a week or once a month? How is your thought life? When you have had a bad day, will shopping get you out of your funk or do you have other means? Is food a comfort for you or do you use the Holy Spirit? Have you been to a dentist? Does your breath smell like roses or the compost heap? The Bride is the body of Christ. Putting things into perspective and then looking in the mirror, can we deduct why Jesus hasn't come yet and why you are still single?

Seriously, I hit a point in my life where I knew I was going to marry again and I had to get really real. Jesus is waiting for His bride. I wondered, what is going on? Come on Jesus, let's do this! Those were those zealot days. I wasn't any more ready for the return of Jesus then any of you reading this. I still got crap to clean up - if you wanna know the truth! I prayed about it thinking I was alright...but then I was shown what I needed to do and it seemed as if I hadn't done anything. Then He said something to me that almost made me wanna cry...everyday. WHAT?!!! (Philippians 4:6 AMP)

Every freaking day I need to take my vitamins, exercise, eat right, clean some part of the house, cook a meal instead of going to a restaurant, check the manicure and pedicure. Everyday, we know to do our regular hygiene, so why would all of those other things in keeping it tight be an issue? Everyday, I go to work and am cordial to my co-workers. Everyday, on my job, I have to talk to people and assist them in what they need for that given moment. There isn't a problem with doing that. I know there is an end result. It is what I was hired to do and that paycheck helps. So what happened with those other things God is nudging us to do? Don't we believe the end result will be favorable? Do you believe more that you will be doing all of that work for nothing? Has the past taken hold of your future and refuses to let go?

Joyce Meyer, a well known tele-evangelist, is 71. She looks good! Yet, would she look as well as she does now if she had not been obedient to the nudge of the Holy Spirit? According to her, she used to smoke like a chimney while saved and teaching others to live for God. She didn't exercise and she complained incessantly. It took her some years but she quit smoking, lost weight, and hired a trainer. Did I mention that she is 71 years old!!! She has been married to Dave for over 35 years and it is her 2nd marriage. That in of itself encourages me.

I suppose this entry became very poignant when looking at reality TV and seeing that certain shows stay popular because of the rank attitudes of the women. If knocking over a dinner table isn't riveting enough, why not step on top and over it to get to a rival to slap the crap out of her. Is this appropriate behavior for those claiming to be Christian? And yet, we are glued to see what happens next week. Yeah, I do it too. My point being, entertainment is one thing; however, if tested, would we do what we know is right or the very thing we have been entertained with?

Remember that list we discussed oh so many years ago? All of those wonderful attributes we would love to live with for the rest of our lives. If you really look at that list that you used to have. were you not describing Jesus? Now look in the mirror. How much more do you have to do to meet everything on your list (Titus 2 AMP)? You better get crackin'!

Monday, September 29, 2014

Just To Be Close

I think we all have a need to be loved and/or wanted. It seems to be basic and really understandable. Have couples come together with this understanding? Have they fared well? Was God pleased when these two met each other; one hoping to be needed and the other wanting to be loved? Don't those 2 words just euphemise desperation?

 The Lord is My Shepherd, I shall not want...., it is written. My God supplies all of my needs according to His riches in glory...., is is written. ...whatever state you are in, be is written. So how then could God be pleased or the couple do well in the relationship if there is no faith in what God said is already yours in Him?

Now love, that's a different matter altogether. Why would a Christian believe he/she isn't loved? I counseled such a person and I couldn't understand why she would say such a thing. I didn't have anything at the ready for her because I assumed if you claim to be a Christian, of course you have to know you are loved. She said, "I don't believe anyone could love anyone else that much." I was at a loss on how to combat that. You see, it wasn't that she didn't understand what the Word said and it wasn't that she didn't understand why Jesus did what He did, it was she didn't believe anyone would do such a thing just from love (John 3:16 AMP).

How can you be a Christian and not accept His love? The woman I was counseling accepted Jesus as her Lord and Savior but could not believe salvation was made because of His love. Then how could she be a Christian? How could she pray? How could she ask to have someone to love if she didn't know what that sort of love is (1 John 4:8 AMP)? How could she walk in the Spirit so not to fulfill the lust of the flesh?She looked at me with a blank stare after 4 weeks of counseling. I didn't know what else to say and felt like I wasted my time. How can you pour water into a pitcher if the pitcher is cracked (1 Corinthians 13:1-3 AMP)?

We are able to recognize each other because of that love (Matthew 22:36-40 AMP). We have accepted and walk it out each and everyday of our lives. Its that love that causes us to recognize who is the one and why (1 Corinthians 13:4-10 AMP). Its a knowing dwelling on the inside and we have fed that knowing by attending church services, being obedient to His Word, serving others, and prayer.

This morning I had a business meeting. Afterward, instead of returning to my place of employment, I went to breakfast at a restaurant - alone. The hostess asked if I would like a table or a booth. I requested a booth because I knew the single tables are placed in obscurity.  When I was seated the waitress asked if I would like anything else to drink besides water. I asked for tea and lemon. When she returned and placed the cup and saucer on the table, I was ready to order. It didn't take long for me to receive my meal, in the meantime, I had poured the hot water, squeezed the lemon, stirred in 2 teaspoons of sugar (thinking I would have preferred honey) and sipped while texting a co-worker on my phone.When my meal arrived, I placed the cup and saucer to my right, the water on my left. I placed my napkin in my lap while thanking the waitress for the excellent service. I proceeded to enjoy my food. The waitress came to me a few minutes later to see if I would like anymore hot water. I did. When I was full, I left what was on my plate with my eating utensil, the napkin from my lap (after wiping my mouth) and the saucer and cup. By this, the waitress knew I was finished and placed the bill on the table. I thanked her again and left her a tip. Before I did, a man dressed in a taupe argyle sweater vest, light blue long sleeved shirt with salt and peppered hair walked up to me and said, "Excuse me Miss, I am from the South...Georgia to be exact (he bowed). I was sitting over there watching you eat. I have was a delight. I see so many people eat like...well, was just an elegant delight." My first reaction was, what? Why are you watching me? But then, I laughed and thanked him...still it felt a little odd. I put it out of my mind and got up to pay my bill. While waiting for the cashier, this same man came up behind me with a small stack of napkins and said in a quiet voice, his name. He extended his hand. I shook it and told him mine. He then said, "if you ever wish to go out again, you don't have to eat alone....." He rifled through the napkins to get the one that has his name and phone number on it and gave it to me. "Call me, " he concluded. I said, thank you and it was nice meeting him then proceeded to pay my bill.

That was it. There were no sirens, no whistles, and that stir of the knowing didn't ignite. I hear people say that when you meet the one, there doesn't necessarily have to be all of what we expect. I beg to differ. The all powerful, all knowing God that has created you for a time such as this, who knew you before you were formed in the womb allows you to be surprised on Christmas and your birthday but when you meet the spouse that you are to spend the rest of your life with, it's supposed to be...bleh? The God that requires a bride without spot or wrinkle for His only begotten Son, but when we get married its just...ordinary? The God that gives you the desires of your heart and delights in your prosperity will make a presentation of your good thing in obscurity? What God do you serve?

The point is, if I can go to church and sense the Holy Spirit even before services begin, if I can go to a bible study group expecting good things and receive them, if I can ask my Heavenly Father for whatever and know that I know it is well with Him, why wouldn't that be true when seeing the man I am to date for the purposes of marriage? With this man at the restaurant, I sensed nothing. He was pleasant to talk to but I won't be calling him. Not for conversation or anything else. If he was interested like that, he would have said who he is in Christ rather then being a Southerner, which apparently was more important for him to convey. The woman I was counseling was interested in finding love but was seeking it with men when her relationship with God is the one that was in jeopardy. No matter how hard she searched, it would all be for nothing because she has no concept of love. Here is what you need to ponder, how many more of them are out there and how many of them would never admit to it. Do you have that inner knowing to tell the difference? Selah.