Monday, April 7, 2014

Service With A Smile

Why would you think as soon as you find the person you are to marry that your services are no longer to submit to your husbands and he is looking for her to be. But what about his service? Is he not to love his wife as Christ loves the church (Ephesians 5:25 AMP)? What does he think that means? Jesus served. He washed the feet of the disciples (John 13:5-10 AMP). He humbled himself. When a man reminds his wife about submission, does that sound like what Jesus did with the church? Jesus said that He came not to condemn man but for him to have life and have it more abundantly (John 3:17 AMP). Does the man have that same characteristic when he interacts with her? If he doesn't have it while dating, he won't be this way during the marriage.
If you served before dating, why do you think it changes? This is more true of men then it is of women. Women that men need help. We are conditioned to serve. Why don't men have this same training?

I recall a young man telling me that his mother taught him not to be embarrassed when he had to go to the store to purchase his wife's feminine products. He also claimed that his mother taught him how to cook as well, just in case his wife would need for him to do so if nothing else for himself. He was pleased that he had all of these skills and knew it was a selling point to tell the woman of his desires for her to marry him. He did find a woman that appealed to him, yet when she asked him to do all of those things his mother had taught him to do, it was like pulling teeth from a brick. He found every excuse not to do it and called her lazy for asking him. It got to the point where he thought killing a bug was too much for him to do for her. His reasoning was, what if he weren't there and the children needed her protection? He said she needed the practice in killing bugs and spiders herself. Is it a wonder why she didn't feel affectionate towards him in a few years after they married? If she continued her service with a smile despite his services towards her, would there be consequences in his life (Matthew 5:44, Luke 6:35, Romans 12:14, 1 Peter 3:9 AMP)? Is God in agreement with this man and his reasoning?

A young woman, not knowing until brought to her attention, looked at her husband in disdain because he found it difficult to keep a job. She could not respect a man that had her as a wife and a family to support yet did not do whatever he could to stay employed. It became increasingly difficult for her to talk to him without bickering. She knew what her obligation to do as a Christian was, but for some reason, it was too much for her to be kind and loving to the man she promised herself to. Was it her fault? Because he cannot keep a job and is the head of her, could she lose her Christian principles? Did she have a right to be disrespectful towards him (1 Peter 3:2 AMP)?

A woman at her desk was called into her supervisor's office. The supervisor tells her that the work schedule is wrong so changes were made to make the schedule more comparable to the order of things in the work place. The woman looks at the schedule and sees that all of her days that she has had for the last 3 years have been changed. Her supervisor tells her that this is the schedule that they agreed to months ago. The woman disagreed and told her supervisor it was a mistake. She continued that she never agreed to those changes. The supervisor claimed that at the meeting with all of the employees at the beginning of the year never said anything including the woman. So it was the schedule agreed to and there was nothing she could do about it. The woman realizing she was fighting a losing battle gets up to leave. Just then she remembered that she had an email confirming the changes of the schedule were unfounded and not agreed to. She sends the email to her supervisor. The supervisor sends a response, there will be no changes to the schedule. Is this a fight that needs to be taken to Human Resources? Would it be worth it knowing this woman would have to go back and work with this same supervisor? Can she come back the next day smiling ready to work knowing that her supervisor is less then honorable? Would God be pleased if she did or would He be more pleased if she quit (Ephesians 6:5-10 AMP)?

These are some of the things we go through as Christians and for some, these things are minute and elementary to deal with. For others, it is the reason your peace is troubled. It reminds me when I was a child. I have an older brother who used to tease me incessantly. It thrilled him the more I shrieked for him to leave me alone. Sometimes we would wrestle and other times it would be physically fighting. I would be hitting him as hard as I could and he'd just laugh. The thing is, we never crossed the line to pick up a weapon to hurt one another. There would have been serious and more then likely fatal damage if we had. My point is, when or why would anyone go beyond the boundaries that have been given to us (Galatians 5:16-25 AMP)?

We know who we are in Christ. We know what is expected of us. We know that if we don't pass these tests, the test will continue to come back until we do. When dating, people have such silly ideals they need to do in order to see what is the tolerance level of the intended. If anyone decides to do such mind games, walk away. He /she will continue to do so and it is a seed sown that you will have to suffer if you continue with the relationship anyway. If you leave while you can, pray for that person to stop playing the games, otherwise he/she will meet their match and won't like the end results.

I originally wrote this entry for the Kingdom Life blog. It answers the question, is this all there is or why a
Christian would question the keys to the life they chose. This entry does answer that question to some degree. It also answers to the Christian single why he/she isn't comfortable with their choice not to be married. People have reasons for doing and living in the matter they choose. Some like their mess. That doesn't mean you have to wallow in it too. If they can find a reason to retaliate when Jesus says that the revenge belongs to Him, who are you to do otherwise? You have more reason to smile knowing that you have an ally that has your back (Hebrews 13:5 AMP).

Tuesday, April 1, 2014


Really? When two Christian people decide to date, does this subject come up? How? Why? Isn't it already understood that one doesn't date just to fill time or to comfort one's loins? Isn't it already established that Christians date for the purposes of marriage? Have I been wasting my time for the last 4 years with this blog?

These questions must show the frustration that ministers go through saying the same things over and over again in hopes that the listeners have done just that. Yet Paul experienced the same aggravation when asking if one has to go back to the milk of the Word because you have become dull in your spiritual walk (Hebrews 5:11-14 AMP). And yet teen pregnancy is on the rise.

My son and cousin said to me, "...well, you know, people are people." Its not all that profound and I don't think either of them were trying to be. Even in context, its just as simple as it is. However, as I said to them, as true as that might be, there is a certain expectation remains for those that have accepted the responsibility of being a Christian and are diligent with being loyal to the rudimentary principles. I expect it of them and myself with what I know about the Word. How much more so would our Heavenly Father?

God expects exclusivity. He tells us, to be a friend of the world, is being His enemy (James 4:4 AMP). He tells us that you cannot serve Him and mammon (Luke 16:13 AMP). Adam, Jonah, Samuel, Solomon, and the children of Israel didn't get an "atta boy" when they decided to disobey God and follow after their own fears and lusts. So what makes any of us think we will get that pat on the back when we don't wait on Him and begin the dating process of several people just to get one really good ___________ (you fill in the blank). What won't be a true statement is filling the blank with such words as blessing, spouse, satisfied feeling, thing, or problem solved.

Nevertheless, we have a responsibility to watch and pray (Matthew 26:41, Mark 13:33, Mark 14:38, Ephesians 6:18 AMP). So while going through the interviewing process of dating, ask the question if the other person is being exclusive with you right now. Just get that pesky thing out of the way. But note the expression, the raised brow and high pitched voice (if any). You see, that person is of a different sort and more then likely is surprised that you even bothered to ask. They hoped that the devotion they displayed spoke for itself and exclusivity was obvious. Course, I was thinking that too of all single Christians before I wrote this blog. Oh well, you know people.

Thursday, March 27, 2014

Babies Can't Scrub Nor Clean

People enter into relationships for all sorts of reasons. From being lonely to doing whatever is necessary to
annoying relatives at the ready to sound off about being single. The empathy is for the unsuspecting individual in such an a relationship believing its all for the right reasons. For them, the truth that sets them free might initially be devastating.

Take, for instance, the beautiful woman that has been dumped several times and has now landed a man that has everything she has ever hoped for. She thanks God for blessing her yet she has some misgivings because of the many times when she thought she was in a committed relationship only to find her intended with someone else or has been cheating on her for months. This time, with this new man she orchestrates to seal the deal with a pregnancy. There, now he's not going anywhere because he has an heir to all of the money and he will love her forever for giving him a legacy to carry out the family name. We turn the page and it says, "...and they lived happily ever after." That's the cue for the proverbial sigh thinking, this is how life should be. Once putting the story book away, we have to open our eyes and really deal with ALL that life offers.

I created that scenario because I am trying to understanding why those calling themselves Christians aren't getting it (Hosea 4:6 AMP). The next generation should be more advanced then mine. It took me awhile before I understood what God intended for His children and even now I find new things and wish that I knew them way back when. I teach others so they won't have any regrets and those tell the younger and so forth and so on (Titus 2:3-5 AMP). Yet, I see some come back with children and no marriage, addictions and no education, returning to the church with no joy, and so forth and so on (2 Timothy 3:1-7 AMP). Do we all need a refreshers course on the prodigal son? Shall we really go back to the milk of the Word (Hebrews 5:11-13 AMP)? What's going on? Does the world have something different that has not been offered centuries ago? Friends of the world are still enemies to God - right (James 4:4 AMP)?

The scenario described earlier, I thought about when seeing a woman who had a relationship with an athlete that didn't work. She no longer allowed herself to cool off from what she had been through before hooking up with another athlete and getting pregnant by him. Why would she think that just because he fathered a child, she will have security? She wasn't with him along the way in order for him to become what he is. She was a means for him to relieve himself; much like a toilet. Just because he pays child support, which will be the actual long term relationship, doesn't mean all will be well. After a certain age, child support is over! Is he considered a good father? Is she a good mother? Or is it selfish from both aspects of the spectrum? That child will have a hard road to travel because neither parent is thinking of this child's emotional, psychological, or physiological, well being.

From the Christian perspective, how did Ishmael and Hagar come out (Genesis 21:9-17 AMP)? Was Abraham hounded for years? Did Ismael get a portion of the inheritance? Did Hagar become the head mistress and do away with Sarah? No, Ishmael and Hagar were sent out of the camp to fend for themselves. Now look at this spiritually, if Hagar was given the money to raise her child, would Ismael be satisfied? Would he be blessed? Or would he still be in the dessert searching for identification?

A woman that tries to trap a man with a child is only heaping more baggage on herself then she can carry. First of all, her thinking is in need of solitude, soul searching, and/or refuge in Christ. Be satisfied with your own company. Find a project that will discipline your mind into doing something that is more constructive for you and possibly for someone else. Involve yourself in a volunteer program. Teach younger girls to be ladies. Get involved in a soup kitchen. Crochet or knit blankets for orphaned babies in a hospital. Do something that takes your mind off of yourself. Second, join a group where you can be held accountable. What I mean, if you aren't there, people will miss you. Something like a yoga class, bible study, a meeting with a group of people with like interests (more then 2 people). Third, reflect on those things you have learned or have taught someone else on a weekly basis. After a year, see where you have come as opposed to where you could have been (2 Timothy 3:15-17 AMP). These practices are cleaning the spots and wrinkles you have been wearing on the garment that only God can see (Ephesians 5:25-30 AMP).

Babies in Christ can't do these sorts of practices because they are more concerned about themselves and what people think of them. Babies cry for more and are never quite satisfied with anything. They want more clothes, better cars, more trinkets and much more money. The crying is incessantly and will soon find that they are all alone because no one wishes to hear those cries all of the time. Babies get angry when no one is listening and have tantrums; yet even that gets old. When babies decide to have a baby...well, it should be a crime. But when it keeps happening and no one says anything, it soon becomes the norm.

Sunday, March 9, 2014

Surprise, Your A Dad!

Announcements are usually made when something good is about to happen. When someone says, "I have an announcement to make", we look towards that person in expectation. When the announcement is, I have good and bad news, I ask for the bad news first so that the good can over shadow the bad and not make it seem so. Announcing that there is a new baby about to enter into this world is supposed to be a good thing (Psalm 127:3 AMP). Who would cringe at hearing this wonderful news, this blessing from God, the bundle of joy developing even as you read this?

The answer to this question is obvious to those that have been through it. But not so much to the young girl that wondered why she was feeling ill all day long and has had stomach cramps for weeks waiting for the doctor to speak in front of her parents. Its not too obvious for the young man that was having a little fun one evening after a party. Its definitely not the thing a single Christian is wishing to hear or say to the other party when he/she knows that they hold a title in a ministry and are of influence to a number of people. Why wasn't this a thought when acting on feelings that he/she had no business acting on (1 Corinthians 6:18 AMP)? When answering that question, please don't use the following panacea that the world uses as an excuse:
- It just happened.
- It is what it is.
- We didn't plan for this to happen.
- We've just got to make the best of it.
- I thought he/she was using protection.
- I don't know.

None of those answers will make the developing person go away. None of those answers will feed, clothe,

and provide shelter for the added responsibility you created. None of those answers are acceptable to those you were teaching not to do the very thing you have been doing all of this time. So what are you going to do? You are the one responsible for this. What is the plan now because he/she is coming, ready or not.

So here is the reason I write this blog: to resolve issues that we as Christians have while being single. This is a real issue and needs addressing. I could keep going as I have for years believing that once getting the understanding of salvation and the principles of Kingdom Living, we all walk holy and acceptable unto God (Romans 14:17 AMP). Well, that's the goal, yet we all have stumbled and have come short. The thing is, as Christians, we get back up and do what we are called to do. Only in this case, you have an added calling that you have put upon yourself. Here is what its not, just so we can be clear. God did not call you to be a parent out of wedlock. He is good and has a standard for us to live by. So when you have family and friends trying to make you feel better with a pack of lies, toss it. Its only the truth that will set you free. The lies will have you back in this same predicament a few times more before you get it! And those that handed you the pack of lies to soothe your feelings, will begin criticizing you for making the same mistakes over and over again (2 Timothy 3:5-7 AMP). Your feelings are of no concern to them and actually many of them don't even know that they are doing more harm then good.

Alright, this is pretty hard core and if you have been reading this blog for any length of time, I write what I know and will use as much reference of the Word as I can (Titus 2:3-5 AMP). However, for this topic, its either going to be like a band aid being ripped off or knowing that plate of broccoli might not look too pretty, but you have to eat it for your own well being.

Reality check, I detest pretending. So I try not to sugar coat matters because I don't see that as helping anyone. I will give you a reference as to why pretense is a coating for a blatant lie. When I was a child, I was allowed to go over a friend's house and have dinner. We played until we were called to the table. When we were called, I immediately went to the bathroom to wash my hands. My friend didn't. When we sat at the table, my friend's mother already had the plates on the table. I saw we were having meatloaf, peas, white rice with a pat of butter on the rice. It was a little different from what I was used to but I was in someone else's home and my parents taught me to be gracious. I said my prayer before eating. I was the only one to do so. I then tasted a small portion of the meatloaf. It was sweet. I wanted to spit it out but I wasn't taught how to make that look gracious so I swallowed it. I then tasted the peas. They were also very sweet. I swallowed that as well. By this time, I probably had a look of disgust on my face. I looked at the rice and hoped I would be safe with that but no. I then put down my fork and just watched my friend gobble up her food. Her mother noticed how I wasn't eating. She made the comment, "you aren't used to everything being sweet but Alice won't eat it unless there is sugar on everything." Shortly after my mother picked me up, I went to the bathroom of my home and hurled. My point being, for me, the sugar ruined the nutritional content of the meal. It took a little while before I wished to eat anything again. I was 6 years old.

This blog serves for those who can't take the coating anymore. Its for those who need to hear the actual truth no matter how brutal it is. Its for your good and you know it! God is not a man that He should lie nor son of man that He should repent (Numbers 23:19 AMP). He is good and a good father. So when He tells us not to do something it is for our own good. When we do what our flesh cries out for anyway, you realize there will be consequences to be faced (Romans 8:5-8 AMP). Now, here is the brutal end of it, the flesh leads to destruction. If for whatever reason, you have adhered to the principle that everyone is doing it, the verse broad is the way to destruction belongs to you as well (Matthew 7:13 AMP). I believe when a Christian has allowed for her guard to be let down, he/she has enveloped teachings that are not found in the Word. The bible refers to this person when asking who is stronger then the strong man? When that question is answered, the results are that all of the palace of that strong man has been pilfered through and the best parts have been taken (Matthew 12:29 AMP).

Do you understand? What are the ingredients of the palace, the kingdom? Can you afford to be without them? What is your legacy? Can you afford to be without him/her? David decided to have Bathsheba knowing she was a married woman. His child was killed. Job went against the principles of God and acted in fear rather then faith. All of his children were killed! Eli, the priest raised his children to be evil and didn't care no matter how many warnings he received. Both of his sons were killed and Eli died in a freak accident (1 Samuel 2:12:36).

Brutal, yes. Is it written? The highlighted references answer that question. What does this have to do with you? As long as you decide to live according to the flesh, you will live under the curse and have the same consequences as the aforementioned (Romans 8:12-14 AMP). It is why the bible has been divided and the reason why the Old Testament must still be taught. Ministers miss however, that there must be a balance with the New Testament. None of which I will do here because those that know better do better. The New Covenant are for those who don't just do lip service but walk the walk and talk the talk. Its a habit and therefore Christians obtain the fullness of the blessing. God is the same. He rains on the just and the unjust; therefore, your actions position you under the right spout.

Friday, February 14, 2014


Have you ever said a word so much that it lost all meaning? Have you ever thought you knew what a word meant until you saw someone else do it better then you ever could? While the first question might seem childish, try it. Say the word, devotion about 20 times. It should start to sound funny. Now think of any circumstance where this word describes your action or reaction.

I liked to think that I was devoted to the ministry I attended for so many years. I volunteered in various areas of the ministry. I taught classes. I attended classes and I was beginning to look forward to being a part of the staff. Even when other ministers were leaving the parish for whatever the reason, it had nothing to do with me. I enjoyed the place I was in. I kept myself away from those that liked to gossip and focused on whatever task I was assigned to. My purpose was doing the will of God, not man. Then, without me knowing it, some of the stink that caused certain ministers to leave was coming for me. My thoughts raced, I couldn't sleep, I couldn't eat, my peace was definitely troubled. I tried to find where I left it (peace), but didn't know. Taking a leave of absence from my regular duties in the ministry didn't help. I continued attending services prayed and worshiped the Lord.

One of the things that I would not entertain was leaving the ministry. There was no reason for me to. I loved the church I was attending. The people got me and I them. Finally, I was not an outsider. Every spare moment I was doing what I could to build up the ministry, win more souls to Christ, and help maintain those already won. All of the things I was doing I assumed were good, but the peace didn't return. I still couldn't sleep nights. The doctors didn't have any answers.

A young man in the military was about to complete his duties. His goal was to marry his childhood sweetheart and become a minister. Later, he dreamed of having his own ministry. He did all that he desired to do and began a family too. He knew the only way to make these things the Lord blessed him with successful was to be steadfast in God's word and what He would have for this man to do. He studied incessantly. When he finished hours in verse, he would then study the Hebrew language and then the Greek so he could have a better grasp in all aspects of scriptures. He made other ministers seem simple in how he could articulate the Word and its meaning while they preached superficial sermons that have been heard over and over again. In his mind, he had it all. Then, seemingly out of no where, his wife - the woman he knew throughout his childhood, had something to tell him. She was very serious and he knew what she had to say was going to change everything. She began to tell him that she felt neglected. She told him that all of his time has been spent with the Lord. She asked, when would she be of interest to him again. The pause was long. More about them in a moment.

There is another man I have mentioned before. He and his wife are inseparable. She has some debilitating disease where she is wheelchair bound. He is the one that cares for her and wheels her to wherever he goes or where she would like to be. Both seem very happy. They have been married for a number of decades and for me, they embody the definition of devotion. One day he was rushed to the emergency room. One of his vital organs was in distress and the doctors didn't have a good prognosis of his outcome. While admitted, he couldn't just rest. All he thought about was getting back to his wife. On the other side, she was in turmoil wondering when he was going to get back to her. Both being educated but neither of them are thinking that his commitment to her could send him to an early grave. He left the hospital early against the advice of his doctor. He claimed that changing his diet is all he needs to get his health back.

Being devoted to one another is a wonderful thing. Its hard to come between two people that know each other so well. One cannot be tricked by the gossip or envious murmurings of an outsider. Nevertheless, God being who He is, will show up if the life of this well intention person is not balanced. Joyce Meyer, a well known television evangelist has ministered this message a number of times. For me, it became applicable when I saw how much time I spent in ministry as opposed to my family or hobbies or taking a vacation, or just doing nothing. As much as I loved how it was structured and the demands for discipline, I did notice the pastor and his family made time for each other and had substitutes stand in when they took time off. I didn't do that. I kept thinking of the verse where the reference was to someone who had fallen out of the boundaries given and needed to be fed with the milk of the Word again (Hebrews 5:11-13 AMP). I also had on my mind the verse where God refers to the member as one who has had an elicit affair with the world (James 4:4 AMP). This could not be me and I was doing all I could not to be placed in that category. Never did I think I was disappointing God anyway.

That young man that became a pastor, his wife left him. She was having an affair with his best friend. He thought they were devoted to each other but because his focus was completely on well intentions of being a good pastor, he neglected being a good husband. His devotion caused him much devastation. Does she have some fault in her actions? Of course and she will (if not already, if she has not repented) receive consequences for those actions. Nevertheless, this all could have been avoided.

It is good to be a devoted member in the body of Christ. We are all called to pray, worship, and give God the glory. We are also called to live a life of abundance. This is a life that is full, free, with nothing missing and nothing broken. We can travel, write, conduct business, and everything else our heart's desire. We must also be aware that all that our heart's desire has to be on a schedule in order for there to be balance. If you are not the type to have a daily planner, then don't forget to keep the Sabbath holy. Its a beginning, then give God all of the rest. This Valentine's Day remember to prioritize and keep it that way. God likes things in order and so should you.

Thursday, January 16, 2014

You and Me Jesus - Just You and Me!

The title of this blog is something I usually say when I have gotten fed up with some of the things we do as Christians. I know I am striving to be more like Him just like we all strive to do and I know we are at all different levels of maturity...still, don't you see some things can cause you to say to yourself, what were you thinking? Or how stupid are you? Or even still use some other colorful phrase that could possibly question if you are a Christian (1 Thessalonians 5:23 AMP)? Honestly, I have.

But what else can you do when you see people do the silliest things and then ask God why... why... WHY?!!! Its not His fault. He told you to let Him be at the helm of your life (Proverbs 3:6 AMP). He told you to put on praise (Isaiah 61:3 AMP), the whole armor of God (Ephesians 6:11 AMP), and His love (1 Thessalonians 5:8 AMP). He told you not to do evil for evil but to pray for those that do wrong to you and bless those that spitefully use you (Matthew 5:44 KJV). He told you not to give the devil a place in your life (Ephesians 4:27 KJV). He told you to think good things and be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to wrath (James 1:19 AMP). Did we listen? How has that fared for you? If asked, are you living holy (James 1:19 AMP)? What would your answer be?

In this spanking brand new year, we have the tendency to wish to start off fresh. We make those resolutions
and promise to do better as we begin a new journey of doing good and never to return to that rocky road again. Uh-huh, you know as well as I do, without God, no sooner did you make that resolution, the first test was going to have you back up the rough side of the mountain. Let's put this in the perspective of Christian dating.

I haven't stopped writing ways for you to picture yourself in situations. I do this when these sorts of matters come to me and its a means for us to realize how we can make our lives better. Now, visualize a man navigating a large vessel out of a quarry. The helm of the ship is nestled in jagged rocks and he has to figure out how to get out of there. Unless he is a qualified navigator, there is no way he can get out of that mess without damaging the vessel. He can take out his compass, the manual to the ship, and the best crew to help him and will still not be able to get out of such a jam. When I first thought of this, I was going to write it a different way, thinking that there just may be a way for him to do it. But the question came, "How did he get there in the first place?" Wasn't he watching where the ship was going? Wasn't he steering? Did he leave his post? Did he give the steering wheel to someone who was inexperienced? If none of those questions can be answered definitively, then no... he can't get the ship out of that mess. He wasn't qualified to run the vessel in the first place.

Is that a judgement call? Do you have the right to make such a judgement? Can you make such a judgement and if so, when? What about when you are dating and you become so emotionally involved with the person? Can he/she handle being in a relationship or are they in it for the fun of it? Has a plan been mapped out or is that too grown up or serious to discuss? Can you just be friends without being so serious about one another? Can you take the chance that he/she is feeling the same thing that you are? Is this too much for you to answer? Then why make that resolution if you weren't serious about doing everything right in your life?

I am realizing that many of us like the crap we are in. I mean, we have learned for God to do this or that for us because we know that we receive favor (benefits) when we allow for Him to take over that portion of our lives (Romans 3:17 AMP). It is unfortunate when we think we know better about other relationships. Why do you think that is? Could it be because we know what God expects from us and we aren't willing to be disciplined enough to do it? Does the sex feel that good that the consequences pale in comparison? Really? Look at the navigator in that rocky quarry again. That describes some of our lives. It was seed sown when we thought we knew better then God. Turning to the left or right is going to tear that ship apart (Proverbs 4:27 AMP). How does one get out of such a mess? How does one never get into a mess like that again (Psalm 18:30, Proverbs 16:20, 1 Corinthians 1:9, 2 Corinthians 1:9 AMP) ?

I made a mistake defense, isn't written. When trials are faced with Jesus as the judge and your defense. What scripture were you reciting in your prayers just before you started to blame God or cry, why... why... why?!!! Answer: It is the reason why the navigator was in the quarry. It is the reason why some of our lives are in a mess. If we think we can do it all ourselves without putting any trust in God, then you have what you deserve. If you have asked why such and so person is more blessed than you? You now have your answer.

Back to the dating side of this, are you ready for all that a relationship can bring? If you aren't truly ready, you will get the equivalence of you. Do you like the idea of that? Are you ready to deal with another you or do you expect for this other person to take care of you? If so, how long do you think he/she will be happy with that? Do you care? If not, you have the answer to why you are still single when you wish to be otherwise.

What about trusting that other person with your heart? I know that no one else understands your relationship but you and that person but is that person qualified to handle such a vital organ? Will he or she know what to do with it when you aren't at your best? Doctors who have degrees in studying this organ don't trust themselves. It is why you have to sign binding agreements not sue them if something doesn't go quite the way they planned when undergoing an operation or invasive procedure. In dating, will the other person be able to cope with disappointment. Or does he/she have a temper and lash out spewing evil words about you and your character not caring how damaging this is to your heart? Will you look over those things saying something so foolish like, everyone has some flaws. Developing a good relationship is over looking them and moving on. Really? Do we really believe such drivel? Where is that written?

I woke up this morning thinking about how toddlers walk. They are just adorable but they aren't thinking about being cute. They have a task in learning how to walk. It isn't until later do they realize that they are making adults smile in their efforts. Toddlers just love the attention. So they continue to try making it from one side to the other. They use their arms to keep their balance and they are so pleased with themselves when they make those extra steps where they failed at just a few hours prior. Now picture putting a bowl of hot soup in those pudgy little hands and telling the toddler to walk to Mommy or Daddy. How do you think that will end up? This is the equivalence of what we do when we go for a person who has not experienced the fullness of God. FALLING in love is a term best used by toddlers in Christ. We know babies in their efforts of walking are going to fall. Do you understand this analogy? We walk by faith not by sight. Toddlers haven't got this full concept yet. They are just getting the 10 Commandments. They are just realizing that if you accept anyone else's flaws then they will accept yours rather then examining your own life and cleaning it up so God can present His best to you as you have done presenting your best to Him.

Now there are babies in Christ who have no intention of walking. They like being cooed at. They like being picked up and carried. There have been so many that have called these types cute, they don't bother making the effort. I have seen mothers carrying their babies far longer than they should. I have seen mothers nursing children that have a full set of teeth. If there are babies like this in the natural, do you think there could possibly be some that have not matured well in the Spirit? Do you think there are pastors that have babied some of their staff along the way because the pastor doesn't wish to be outshined? Are there Christians that appear to be mature but if a situation arises that you think is elemental to resolve he/she has a tantrum waiting for someone else to resolve it? These are toddlers, including the pastor that keeps others from growing due to his own insecurities. These types act like they are ready to date, but are actually waiting for the right patsy to come and pick them up to carry around and buy for them anything they scream for. Does that sound like peace? Does that sound like the life you were hoping for? That does describe the lives of some of our brothers and sisters in Christ who try to cope in regret (wishing for a do-over but got married without hearing God's okay). When you see these couples, pray for them. They thought they knew better than God. They might have had pre-marital sex and believed that was alright to do seeing they were going to marry anyway. They might have heard the warning God gave him/her but something else spoke louder, like the balance of the other's bank book, or the tears of the other feeling that the relationship is slipping away, or the imagination when making out before marriage. All of these things and more are called distractions and are best served to draw you away from the voice of God.

Sometimes, I get fed up with those that wish they can turn back the clock and do it all over again. Still, I love the idea of being married but to the person I was created for and the one who needs to find me. I know its difficult at times not to rush the process but consider the alternative. And when I do, I say, "You and me Jesus, just You and me." This would also be true when God makes that presentation to you. You will recognize each other because of all of the time you have spent with the Lord. It will actually be you and Jesus. Just what God taught you in the scriptures, He was teaching your mate. This is the real definition of soul mates and not that stupid mess the world thinks. The world...ya' gotta laugh!

Saturday, December 7, 2013

The Real Language of Love

While having lunch with a fellow believer and discussing relationships, I was asked if I had read the book about the love languages. I answered that I had not. She then proceeded to tell me vaguely about the material and how much she enjoyed the book. Oddly, I didn't hear one thing she was telling me that remotely mimicked what we know as the truth. I continued to listen to her as she explained what she thought the author was referring to in relationships and dating. It sounded very complicated and something that one would have to really study to make it a part of their life. But that would then mean to relinquish what one knows in Christ...wouldn't it? Going by the explanation given, I wondered.

Though I understand that there are 4 different kinds of love in Christ (agape, phileo, eros, and storge) and each has its place in the various relationships we have with people; however, if we have not developed the one we have for God through Christ (agape), then we are wasting our time trying to redefine what has been written, taught and reiterated for thousands of years. God is love. He doesn't need redefining. Without Him, there is no love. How hard is that to comprehend?

In the area of Christian dating, I find this topic fascinating because we make excuses for what we desire and think its alright in Christ because He has given us liberty to do as we will. True, but it doesn't take away the boundaries that we have as Christians. We still have to maintain specific principles and to not incorporate iniquity in our lives. Confessions we make are to keep our lives clean and to turn from those wicked ways so not to keep doing them thinking we can always confess later. That's a slippery lifestyle and God sees your heart if you think you can get away with it. He will make Himself really real to you and I don't mean in that awesome good kind of way. You know better so
those kid gloves used when you were a baby days are over, seriously!

You don't toddle anymore, you can actually walk in the Spirit so not to fulfill the lust of the flesh. Toddling requires redirection because a toddler will eventually fall. But these falls are only valuable lessons for him/her so not to do those same things again. When the toddler knows that he/she can't push up on a friend for support because that friend might move unexpectedly, the toddler then looks for something more supportive, more sturdy, something more stable. We find stability in Christ. The Word tells us not to trust in princes. These are people of nobility otherwise they could not get that sort of title. If we are not to trust in them, who is left? Answer: the One that created you. When we look at an actual baby trying to walk, he/she will inevitably know that his/her parents won't let him/her fall. That baby will use that parent as a cushion, a safety net, the device to climb on top to get from point A to point B ....  in essence for everything. This is what we are supposed to be using God for and in the same manner. We count on Him for everything. He will not change - ever!

Now lets look into those love languages. This lesson on love for the purposes of dating cannot be simpler. There are only 2. That's right, its one or the other. He is either going to be for you or against. She is either going to love you in Christ or not. There is no middle ground. The tests are simple when deciding to make this person to be your spouse. There are no back flips, no hiring a private detective, no lie detector tests, and no mind games. All you have to do is what you have been doing in Christ. Pray and worship Him. That's it! Too simple? Here is the break down:

The two love languages are for the Spirit and for the flesh. That's it! If you love one, you hate the other. There is no flipping around or straddling the fence. If you can't make up your mind, that is an answer too. With God it is all or nothing. He says you have to be hot or cold. There is no in between or He will spew you out of his mouth (Revelation 3:11-17 AMP). Believers somehow think this is figuratively and not literal; they would be mistaken. For a visual, when my natural father was upset with me he didn't have to threaten me with a spanking, all he had to say was, "get out of my sight." That was like a smack. After I stopped crying, I busied trying to mend what I destroyed. In those younger years, it was difficult to try to think of all of the possibilities I could use to make my father forgive me. He did, but that time where he was angry seemed so long when it was only an hour. Now multiply that by a billion where your heavenly Father not only doesn't wish to see you but would rather He never make mention of your name. The idea of you makes His stomach turn to where regurgitating is the preference then to utter your name ever again. He tells us if you are ashamed of Him here on earth, He will be ashamed of you in heaven (Luke 9:26 KJV). There's no fixing things once its done.

Then there is that love of the flesh when at every opportunity there was no turning from it. This would describe a sinner, so what makes anyone think he/she can still have the privilege of heaven and all it offers when there was no commitment to God while on earth? Describing the love of the flesh is pretty clear in the scriptures (Galatians 5:19-21 AMP). So how does one calling himself/herself a Christian can justify such behaviors?

In the perspective of Christian dating, one must see as clearly as God does when choosing a mate for the rest of your life. He must love her as Christ loves the church who gave His life up for her (Ephesians 5:25 AMP). She must reverence him keeping him in the position of being the head of her (Ephesians 5:33 AMP). If the love languages are where they are supposed to be (in the hearts of men), then seeing the mirror image of the person you are supposed to be with is easy. Man was created in the image of God. Woman was created from the rib of man. When you look at him/her are you making excuses then settling for the excuses heard or do you see the righteousness of God through Christ Jesus? God is love. He speaks to those who believe all of the time. What language are you listening to?