Thursday, August 25, 2011

Warning Signs

A huge sign of independence for any teenager is finally being able to legally drive. The training is a little pamphlet and some getting use to being on the road with other drivers. We are made aware that everyone isn't as conscientious as we are; nevertheless, it doesn't detour (pun intended) from getting on the road and experiencing that freedom, even in later years when we are use to it. We know to never disregard the traffic signs. They were put there for a reason. Seeing other people do their own thing knowing that if the police doesn't get them with a traffic violation then the sign which warned of a slippery road ahead, or yielding because animals are crossing, or  just slowing down because there is a stop sign ahead will be their deterrent.Would that also be true with everyday life and in this case, with dating in the Christian genre?

You must first practice that which He has given you so that you can hear clearly and know to test it all (1 John 4:1-3 AMP). With the warning signs, dating is not much different from driving. When the signs are clear as the nose on your face, it is to your benefit not to disregard them. When a man keeps losing his keys and other small items that anyone else would have thought of a plan not to keep the same undesirable behavior, it is a warning sign of what he believes is precious to him and what isn't. When asking a woman for something every woman should have in her purse and it takes her forever in a day to find it, this is a warning sign that there are other personal matters in her life that are in disarray. Why then would we see both of these things as frivolous and disregard them? Could it be that the signs you are hiding could be considered much worse or is it that you believe this is your only prospect in so long you would like to hang on for dear life or is that behavior normal and you don't see the sign at all?

Some signs when driving are harder to detect then others. It could be because of an obstacle like a tree was covering it, but in life there has to be a relationship with God for Him to tell you what you cannot clearly see for yourself. For instance, for quite awhile I had a number of friends in church where we would go to various social functions after ward and may even meet up with each other for lunch or volunteer in the same auxiliary. Every now and again, we might meet up at one or the other's place of residence. When we did, most of the time it was not a surprise because their home was like a mirror image of who the person portrayed themselves to be. Every once in awhile, there was the odd person, that had a drop or two or drama left in their life or someone who didn't talk much because they were trying all they could to fit in. When going to their homes, it was always a problem with excusing the mess - even when knowing that company was coming over. One time, I happened to notice one of the congregants opening the restaurant door with the tail of her shirt instead of her hand. I didn't see this as anything out of the normal (these days) but when it came time for me to use the facilities in her home. The smell wasn't as bad as the garbage and mess all over the place. I literally had to step over things just to get to the toilet. She handed me a roll of tissue to dry my hands after washing them. Would a man interested in dating this woman see this as a warning sign or would loving her change all of this? God's love changed us all from sinners to ambassadors of Christ. In answering this, does it trouble you?

When God gave Adam the duty to protect the garden and in the Song of Solomon (6:3 AMP), the man describes his lover as a garden, though symbolic, I can't help but to put the two together. Would you not see that a man protecting the garden would be the same as protecting the woman he intends to marry - his future wife. And if he takes on this duty and does it well, would you not only see this at how well he would protect his family? How can you tell these things on a date? I look at the smallest of things because of the verse, it is the small foxes that spoil the vine (Song of Solomon 2:15 KJV). If on a date and he does not guide her to the inside of the sidewalk, is he considering her safety? There use to be a time, (I suppose I recall this because I saw my father do this with my mother and when ever he took me places, he always did the same to me) where this was seen often in movies and television. It is a sad state of affairs if television and movies are dictating the good/bad behavior.

With the Holy Spirit being our guide, leading to do what we are all called to do, our first task is to walk in the Spirit so not to fulfill the lust of the flesh (Galatians 5:16 KJV). In so doing, we get closer to God to find out what Love is (1 Corinthians 13:2-8 AMP). We then behave more like Him having made the decision of life, we live according to this decision. A huge warning sign is knowing who the tree is by the fruit it bears (Matthew 7:16 AMP). We have been described as trees planted by the rivers of water (Psalm 1:3 KJV); therefore, if we date a tree that shows fruit of anything not conducive of the Holy Spirit (Galatians 5:22-26 KJV), this gives you clear indication of what you will do next. If you are more infatuated by what you see then what you know in Christ Jesus, you cannot blame anyone but yourself when the outcome of your decision is less then abundance.

The sign ahead indicates that the road is slippery and there has been a slow drizzle all day. Do you drive as you would normally drive or is there the tiniest bit of caution especially in the curves of the road and with oncoming traffic. If so, why are you more watchful in driving then you are in dating?

A minister advised the congregants of a Christian single gathering that each person interested in dating should test the intended of their temper and create a situation to see if the other would get angry or jealous. I continued to listen to the lesson but could not agree with the purpose of it. Clearly there had to be scripture to back it for it to be the truth. Second, when the other finds that it was all a set up, wouldn't it be clear not to date the master mind of the set up. Why? Because it is evident that he/she does not hear from God and/or willfully disobeys Him. It also a warning sign to pray for that minister giving that advice. This showed me proof of it being the last days (1 John 4:1 KJV).

As God shows me things, He shows them to us all. To any of those who still think God isn't talking to you, you are deluding yourself. He gives us all warning signs. How many times have you ever began a statement, "something told me to...? It was God. The warning sign was clear. The only obstacle that kept you from paying attention to it, was you. There has to come a time where we cannot keep using excuses and blaming the other for the way our life is. I had a car accident early one morning in between seasons where it is still dark outside. I drove through an intersection when the light had just turned amber. I didn't see the driver skip pass the changing of the light. When I accelerated ahead, I was so startled when the front of my car was hit. Where did she come from, I thought. Why didn't I see her? By the time we got off the road and started to exchange information, she had already blamed me. I was still wondering where did she come from and why I couldn't see her before the accident happened. I looked at her car and she didn't have her headlights on. I mentioned it to her. She turned and saw her lights were off. She stated, "I tuned them off when I got out of the car." Would that it be true only she left the engine on and her drivers side door open. Who does that? Clearly a sign.

Monday, August 8, 2011

He Doesn't Talk

A friend of mine came to visit me a few nights ago. We are both single and was talking about going to the mall for some window shopping (something I particularly detest). She was trying to convince me and in some kind of way, the conversation steered around to back in the day, when we use to date and the looks men give that can make a woman weak in the knees. We both had our stories about when the best thing to do was run like Joesph from Potiphar's wife. We laughed describing how we were shaking just to get away from them and not being able to understand why we were so shaken up by them.

She left after we talked for more then three hours and had not gone anywhere to shop. We didn't look at any television and had dinner right there in my apartment. It was different for me. We usually would go out and about somewhere meeting other people from our church or just going to see a movie. It was just refreshing for the both of us sitting there and talking. I hadn't done that in so long.

I also started to think if there were people that were starving for that kind of adult conversation. I recall being a housewife and raising a family, I was so glad when I got a phone call from any adult just to have someone to have adult conversation with. It solidified the scripture for me that it was not good for man to be alone. I also thought about those who were punished in solitary confinement. They had to either start talking to themselves or needed therapy not to become mentally ill. People that are elderly need to have some human contact or they begin to lose their purpose for living and fall into a deep depression. Having been employed in the geriatric community, I have seen this too many times.

I just wondered about men  who have seen as many times as I have, where they are depicted in the media as the part of the human population that doesn't like to communicate and talk about their feelings. For a man to be sensitive, he must be in touch with his feminine side. What kind of bull is that? If any man is living that sort of lie, that in order for him to be any sort of man, he has to be sullen, mysterious, and a woman has to do back flips just to find out what his day consisted of - you are already in need of some therapy. Recall my Christian brothers, we do not comply to the things of this world. If this is the way they have decided to be - let them. You must separate yourself.

Now if you decide that you are in compliance to what the Word tells us to be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to wrath (James 1:19 AMP) - then I have no qualms with you. Nevertheless, if this becomes your mantra for the rest of your life without also including, if you abide in Him and the Word abides in you then you can have whatsoever you say (John 15:7 KJV) or the verse where you are to speak good things (Matthew 12:33-35 KJV) - then you can't complain with what you get.

I can appreciate a quiet man even though the world says a quiet man can be sneaky.  I would however find it difficult to befriend such a man when it is necessary to talk to get to know him or to even ask someone for a date. Being shy is not apart of Christianity and while the younger generation might find that appealing because of ignorance, to a well versed woman, it leaves a bad taste.

In drawing closer to God, I find that there are times where He can be quiet as well. Those times used to be so disturbing to me. What? After I went through all of that trying to learn how to draw near and now...NOW, He gets quiet?!! I have learned with all that He has given to me, it is those quiet times when tests come. What teacher speaks when the student is taking a test? I have come to learn to appreciate the quiet. I am more apt to pass more tests.