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Showing posts from 2013

The Real Language of Love

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While having lunch with a fellow believer and discussing relationships, I was asked if I had read the book about the love languages. I answered that I had not. She then proceeded to tell me vaguely about the material and how much she enjoyed the book. Oddly, I didn't hear one thing she was telling me that remotely mimicked what we know as the truth. I continued to listen to her as she explained what she thought the author was referring to in relationships and dating. It sounded very complicated and something that one would have to really study to make it a part of their life. But that would then mean to relinquish what one knows in Christ...wouldn't it? Going by the explanation given, I wondered. Though I understand that there are 4 different kinds of love in Christ (agape, phileo, eros, and storge) and each has its place in the various relationships we have with people; however, if we have not developed the one we have for God through Christ (agape), then we are wasting ou

Don't Send a Boy......

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...... to do a man's job! Now, I am not going to pretend to know what a man's job is. I do know what a woman would like to see in her man. Is it what you think or expect? Do you think you can do what is expected? Is it too much for you or any man as far as you are concerned? Just keep reading and compare what you would do with the scripture references. There are too many grown adult men that don't do what is expected of them and have plenty of excuses for their behavior. A woman will only tolerate so much then the reverence that she is supposed to have for her husband becomes a challenge. What do you do then? Do you start blaming her for the short comings in the marriage or do you start making some re-evaluations of your own life and what you have put your family through ( Haggai 1:7 AMP)? I wrote an entry in this blog entitled, The Position of a Woman . In it I describe how everyone seems to have an opinion of what a woman is supposed to do and if we liste

The Position Of A Woman

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Do we as Christians know what that role is? The role of a woman. Has the clear definition been blurred by taking on so many other positions that her identity has no distinct path anymore? To hear certain pastors preach this role, you would think we never got it right - ever! From not wearing the right thing to keep our man to wearing the thing that attracts every other man. From being too strict with raising the children to not allowing for your children to be your friend. From having a career to assist with the income to being blamed for not being home more often. When does it end? When is it alright just to be the woman God created us to be? And then when we are happy with the skin we are in, we start dating and out of nowhere he says, he wants 12 children and that wasn't in your plans. Or he likes big butts and yours don't have enough junk. Or he likes for your hair to be natural and you have a perm. Or he would rather live in some third world country and you like the peac

Criminal Background - Check!

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What would make a person hire a private investigator or have a criminal background check on the one he/she is dating? Does it make sense, even in these days and times? What would this background check prove? What would the photographs that the private investigator obtained prove? What if nothing was found? Is the person now trustworthy? Will he/she ever cheat? Will the dating process for the purposes of marriage continue? Will you be less insecure ( 2 Timothy 1:7 KJV )? Because of the way people are, our past experiences, and/or the lessons from those who have had worse experiences, we have become jaded with the care free wonderfulness a relationship can bring. Two people in agreement with ethics, values, morals, a Christian lifestyle Monday through Sunday (24/7), how to raise children, where to live, who will be at home and who will be making the income, house work, yard work, the budget, vacations, etc. Why wouldn't it be wonderful? It was destined by God - right? I have t

Make Love

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This is a term I find impossible to do - make love. The world coined this term and has equated it with sex. As true believers, we know one has nothing to do with the other; therefore, why even use it? What's the purpose? Confusing? Keep reading so we can be on the same path - a clear, plain one. The bible clearly defines several times what Love is. The Word then, because of what we believe (Jesus is Lord), we know that He ( Love ) is the greater one housed in each of us. Understanding this, the bible then teaches of how to incorporate who and what He is into our lives. Jesus tells us of the greater commandments ( Matthew 22:37-40 AMP ). Paul defines Love in terms that can best be applied into our daily lives ( 1 Corinthians 13:3-9 AMP ). James makes reference to specific oppositional actions that tell us the love of God couldn't possibly be in such a person ( James 2:8-12 AMP ). With those directives and instructions, clearly we could not have the ability to make such a t

The Birds and The Bees

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Would a teenager today know what an adult is referring to if asked, "let's talk about the birds and the bees?" More then likely the two would be on different journeys. The topic of sex was brought on through this subject matter for the purposes of discretion, respect, keeping private matters private, and knowing that intimacy is only between those two people. At the same time, going about the subject in the nature genre was an open door for asking a barrage of questions, confusion, and complete frustration for the female because menstruation, in particular, is no where near a bird, bee, flower, or tree. I recall when I had the "talk". My Dad told my Mom that it was time. I think it was around when they were teaching me about the finer things in life - like the ballet. As we watched the dancers, I asked, "why didn't someone tell that man that he's all bunched up in the front? See how nice and smooth all of the ladies are? Why didn't he tuck bet

Everything That Shines Isn't Always Pure

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Writing in these blogs have been therapeutic . As things happen and I react to them (or not), I tend to replay the matter later in my mind thinking whether I could have done or said it in a better way. If so, I write about it. Suffice to state, I have done a lot of writing! Recently, I was thinking about Christians and the things that some have have written as we wait or prepare for the Lord ( Matthew 25:1-13 AMP ). Well, it is what we are supposed to be doing as singles. Yet, instead I read things like: " I am tired of the dating scene. If Mr. Right comes along, he'll have to find me." And the reply to that comment was, "you can't just stay at home. You can't quit. You have to get out there so he can find you." Then the other conceded her comment and agreed with the reply. You'd think that response is exclusive to women? You would be mistaken. Another Christian site that was launched April of this year, began by posting attractive picture

Mercy Date

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Sympathy, empathy, passion, and compassion; these are feelings or emotions we have not only as Christians but as people. People believe, as Christians, we received an extra dose and they will try to use these emotions against us. Having the idea to do such a thing is evil. Entertaining such evil and making plans, even within one's mind, gives residence to the enemy ( Proverbs 24:1-3 KJV ). As true believers, you have to be aware of such devices ( Proverbs 10:23 KJV ). You have taken the time to study the Word and repeat a variety of verses that would serve you in everyday application. That which you desired came about, some didn't, and created an obstacle against what you expected. You learned to do as the Word tells you and examined yourself. In so doing, you saw your spots and /or wrinkles in your armor, garment, mind, and/or spirit and did some crucial housekeeping so that you could be found blameless in that day. That process is pleasing to God. You can sense that ( Hagga

You Can't Tell by Looking

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The cliche the world use to say was, "why buy the cow if the milk is free?" This seemingly answered the question to women who wished to marry but didn't have the discipline or desire not to give the goods so casually. The word, casually here would mean without a commitment. When did it change about women saving it until marriage? How did desperation become greater then patience? Could it be the pressure of family, friends, or hearing the label spinster one too many times? Which ever the reason, trying out the goods with casual sex or cohabitation without marriage is no longer the surprise it use to be ...and the reference is not to sinners or the world. In watching a favorite detective show, one of the characters; wealthy in his own mind, continued to elude the detective of evidence needed to convict him. His crimes were seducing young pre-teen girls in giving him massages and finishing with a "happy ending". When the task was complete, he would pay them off

The Unspoken Plan of Parenthood

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There is this idea that once married, children are the next thing on the list. Why would a couple do such a thing? The inexperienced answer would be, because God said to be fruitful and multiply ( Genesis 1:28 AMP ). Yes, He did; yet, with over 6 billion people on the planet, should the answer still be the same and is that the correct answer to the question? Just because people would like to get married, not all people should be parents. Many times it is forced upon them whether they are ready to or not. Once the baby is here though, there is no store to take him/her back to because he/she was the wrong size, color, shape, or just isn't working for you right now. The crying, late feedings, changing diapers, teething, potty training, new clothes, doctor visits, shots, weaning is going to happen and that is just in the first 12 months. The changing of the wife's body, attitude, and tolerance of her husband's once cute antics will change as well. There are no more late night

The Heart of Oakie-Doke

The last entry of this blog had the definition of Oakie-Doke and all it entails. Please have a quick read to understand completely what the reference means. Recently, I was thinking about that verse with Abraham when he was leaving his parents' home and venturing forth with the direction of God at the helm, only Lot, his nephew, never got the memo and he came along as well ( Genesis 12:1-5 AMP ). The thought that was troubling was if Lot was married when he decided to leave with his uncle. The Word doesn't tell that he had anyone with him but it does clearly define that Lot had a family when leaving Sodom and Gomorrah. Or did the Word make those clarifications because of where the hearts of his family would rather have been ( Genesis 19:1-16 AMP )? The Word tells us to guard our hearts for out of them come the issue of life ( Proverbs 4:23 AMP ). We have the understanding when dating that we should be open and honest with the one we hope to be our intended. We tell of our c

Interactive Banter on Facebook

Hi, I have opened a facebook page called Making It Plain. If you would like to discuss some of the topics that you have read here, come and join the group and get in on some of the discussions. If you don't get a complete blessing from the discussion, you might meet your Boaz/Ruth. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain. Come on....you are definitely welcome! UPDATE: The facebook page referred to has since been removed. If interested to reactivate the page, please comment or send an email. Thank you.

Moving Out Of "Oakie-Doke"

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Any type of move is a transition of not only body but mind and spirit. It takes planning and organization for this to happen successfully. Moving without all aspects in place leaves room for confusion , chaos, and anxiety . We already know, that's not of God. The Word tells us to write the vision down and make it plain. This sounds like a directive, instruction, and a rule to live by. Only a fool would disregard it ( Proverbs 1:7 KJV ). What is "Oakie-Doke"? "Oakie-Doke" is a place where you were raised as a child. It can be a place that your parents started off with a young family because it is all they could afford at the time. It is a place where one would call a "comfort zone" and won't take a step for fear rather then for growth. Whether it is your mama's basement or an oppressive place of employment - it could very well be your obstacle impeding you from obtaining the blessings of the Lord. For Abraham, it was his family's home. God

Marrying Your Ex

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There is a myriad of reasons why you would think this is a good idea; but let's face it, if God is not a part of that idea, its not a good idea at all ( Luke 18:19 AMP ). Wait! before you get upset and click onto something else thinking, "this woman doesn't know my situation," keep reading. Let's make a list as to why someone would do such a thing: 1. The ex is the biological parent to your children. 2. The children will be happy with the family back together. 3. Both of you have grown and changed since the last time you were together. 4. The feelings have not gone away for each other. 5. Your financial, social, and economic status would be better. 6. Other prospects for you are slim. 7. You don't like being alone anymore. 8. Maybe your decision to break up was too impulsive. 9. Forgiveness is the key for reconciliation. 10. Everyone deserves a second chance. These are the top 10 reasons that come to mind as to why anyone would marry or remarry t