Making It Plain

First, I apologize at how long it has been since my last entry. I have been changing a few things in my life that needed my undivided attention. One of them being, a new job. I thank God for it. Its like I have been in a bubble for the last 7 years. While that has been good for my writing and art work, it was a rude awakening as to how things have drastically changed. When I tell these things to other people, they look at me as if I was locked in a cave somewhere,"Where have you been?" You see, in my former position, I was a resident live in manager for a senior community. Even on my time off, I was still in the building where I resided. Where was I going to go? I never knew that were things happening around me that I wasn't aware of. Oh, I guess I should mention, I didn't have a car in that time either. So now you see, it was as if I was in a bubble. Anyway, during that time a video came across my timeline on Facebook. It wasn't anything spectacular for the ave...

This is the time of year when some of us single people start making assessments of our lives and wonder if there will ever be the right person to come along or be presented to. Its a time when we are invited to family gatherings to exchange gifts. Its a time when we should be happy, but during those family gatherings, whether you make those self actualizing assessments or not, your family has and will undoubtedly know what's best for you when they think you don't. The questions of if you will ever marry anyone or will Nana ever have any great grand children or did you meet Mrs. Wilson's daughter/son down the road? She/he's back in town and is single too. Or the actual "fix-up" was invited to spend the night just to see what you look like in the morning and how you deal with your day. Ah, family.... you didn't design them and they won't allow you to redesign them either - no matter how much you plead. Yet, if they were any different then who they are,...

Why would you think as soon as you find the person you are to marry that your services are no longer to submit to your husband when he is looking for you to be. But what about his service? Is he not to love his wife as Christ loves the church ( Ephesians 5:25 AMP )? What does he think that means? Jesus served. He washed the feet of the disciples ( John 13:5-10 AMP ). He humbled himself. When a man reminds his wife about submission, does that sound like what Jesus did with the church? Jesus said that He came not to condemn man but for man to have life and have it more abundantly ( John 3:17 AMP ). Does the man have that same characteristic when he interacts with her? If he doesn't have it while dating, he won't be this way during the marriage. If you served before dating, why do you think it changes? This is more true of men then it is of women. Women know that men need help. We are conditioned to serve. Why don't men have this same training? I recall a young man telli...

What would make a person hire a private investigator or have a criminal background check on the one he/she is dating? Does it make sense, even in these days and times? What would this background check prove? What would the photographs that the private investigator obtained prove? What if nothing was found? Is the person now trustworthy? Will he/she ever cheat? Will the dating process for the purposes of marriage continue? Will you be less insecure ( 2 Timothy 1:7 KJV )? Because of the way people are, our past experiences, and/or the lessons from those who have had worse experiences, we have become jaded with the care free wonderfulness a relationship can bring. Two people in agreement with ethics, values, morals, a Christian lifestyle Monday through Sunday (24/7), how to raise children, where to live, who will be at home and who will be making the income, house work, yard work, the budget, vacations, etc. Why wouldn't it be wonderful? It was destined by God - right? I have t...

The emphasis that has been put on quirky habits have been minimal. In this blog, they have been stressed. Why? Because the world allows excuses for poor behavior when the Word gets to the root of the matter so that we can all turn from those wicked ways ( Luke 15:10 AMP ). Wicked? Isn't that a little harsh? Is divorce harsh? Seriously, the complaints heard over the years don't make sense until you have been through what the complaining is about. What's more is the one complaining only tells one side of the story. The complainer has no participation in what caused the problem and the resolve only benefits the one complaining. Neither party will allow the will of the other ( James 5:9 AMP ). Both, having oppositional views, believe each independent of the other, is right. Where's the love in that? That same love that will carry you through or above any obstacle. What happened to that ( Colossians 3:13 AMP )? When did things change? Read the changes that ha...

Working in the geriatric community I wondered if being inconsiderate and thoughtless of others is what we all have to look forward to. Not as surprised as I find amazing at how the elderly in this community, though not all, couldn't care less at how their actions would affect anyone else. From a man leaving his television volume up loud all night while his medication puts him in a deep sleep to his neighbors that waited until 4:50 a.m. to call me and complain about it. The neighbor complained that this was the second night that he has done this. Of course my thoughts went to why the neighbors hadn't said anything the entire day before or even have a discussion with the man. Instead, I thanked them and dealt with the matter ( Titus 3:1-6 AMP ). What? I'm going to try to teach 80 year olds how to be more considerate of each other? I'd rather pray....its much easier. In the perspective of Christian Dating, this behavior just couldn't have come about especially where ...

My mother used to tell me when I left the house to go to school, that I and my siblings are representing the family and for us to behave accordingly; reason being, we don't know who is watching us and lives can be changed by the way we conduct ourselves. As children this didn't mean as much to me as it did when I became a young adult and saw one of my high school friends recognize me while I was in church. We had not seen each other for a few years. When she saw me, she hugged me and began telling me her horrific story when we were both attending the same school. When she finished all that she said, she concluded with, "it was the conversations we had that got me through it." Personally, it freaked me out a little. The responsibility of what my mother repeated over and over again just became real. That's the changing we all do as children. Thinking that we are so cool until something hits you like a Mack (c) truck, then all of the teaching we have had over the y...

Many, many times I listen to ministers begin each and every sermon with,"I would like to thank this or that...blah-blah... and I count this being here as an honor and a privilege to minster to you this morning..." And indeed, as I thought about it, it is an honor to be chosen to preach to God's people. God in as much trusts that speaker to say what He has given the speaker to say. This person has studied, prayed and is well equip to say and pray the way God has instructed him/her to do. The speaker has taken his position seriously and is not just saying what he thinks sounds good just to increase CD sales and to get a hefty love offering in the end. He/she is not just pulling at the heart strings of emotion for the majority of the congregation to run around the church and be all out of breath to trick them in believing that the church service was really good only to try to make account of the words spoken and it was all fluff and nothing to sustain them for the week....

In grade school I couldn't understand the purpose of history. Was it going to make the present better or make a bleak future exciting? Do we decide not to repeat it or find ways better for the next generation? Those questions weren't answered. It was just a barrage of facts or false documents for a group of children to believe who would rather still be playing at recess. Is the attitude still there when we hear the past life of the person we are dating? How interesting is it? Does it change the present for the both of you? Will it make the future better or are you ready to get through it so you can go and "play"? Actually, it should be fascinating to know if there is mental illness, alcohol or drug abuse, and a past of chronic smokers. Doctors ask these questions and more because they can determine the mortality of an individual. What they don't teach (well, not any doctors I have seen) is that family pre-determines the behavior of an indicvidual. If the behav...

When do you believe it is the time to change for a man? When he tells you to? When you find that the things you do irritate him? When you are already married and there is nothing you do that seems to be right? When he takes his fist and beats you like he created you or has every right to retrain you different from your parents? Tough questions? No what is tough is to hear the wrong answers. It is what I asked and heard as I counseled women who were victims of domestic violence. I know, I know there is no reason to get so deep on such a light matter as dating; afterall what Christian man who fears the Lord would do such a thing to someone else's daughter? Believe it or not, it happens and more so than we would care to think. The worst of it is the "Christian" label makes it more of a reason for it to be hush-hush. But I was thinking, the more I have seen in the church the way some people reason like the world, the more I wondered if there is some other mess that has filt...