Making It Plain

The title and subject matter for this entry came from a co-worker having the audacity to ask me, "I don't know why you expect something different just because they say they are Christian." I try not to answer people that leave me dumbfounded especially when they profess that we believe in the same God. Let me try to put this in perspective to understand why it is necessary for the purposes of living a single Christian life whether for the purposes of marriage or not. My career is culminated around and smack in the middle of Human Service Professional. This stems from Youth Specialist to Domestic Violence Social Worker, to a Director of a Learning Center and everything in between from the geriatric community to mental wellness of a child. How I treated each and every person initiated from what each person told me about themselves coupled with the answers to my questions. If the person didn't have the same belief system as myself, we tackled their issues one way; but...

As much as I have written about dating and what to look for in a spouse, the writings on marriage has not been as exhaustive. The reason for that is, if a person understands that he/she is not dating just for the sake of being social but for the purposes of marriage, then that person is also ready or has established a relationship with God to know that he/she must pray, study, and always have an attentive ear to know what to do ( Mark 4:9 AMP ). This should be a regular practice, otherwise discord has gained entrance. This isn't very popular for people to adapt because people would like to do what they wish to do and discipline isn't usually one of those things that's really high up on the chore list. Seriously, do you not understand that we are incorporating another personality that must be more like you then not ( Amos 3:3 KJV ). First comes love, is not just having the relationship with God but with you. You must like you. If you don't then you will hate your sup...

It is the reason that the theory of evolution is ludicrous. There is an order to everything. God did not take something that was void and out of order to create more disorder. An explosion doesn't put things in place. Explosions don't separate the heavens and the earth, placing the water where it needs to be so aquatic animals have a place, trees standing upright where birds and squirrels have a place, placing man in a place where all is provided for him ( Genesis 1 AMP ). Explosions cause disorder. Understand that anything that is a God idea has a constructive function, is decent, in order and is good ( 1 Corinthians 14:40 AMP ). Marriage is a God idea. The function of 2 people working together for a place to be established for their comfort and for the procreation of more just like those 2 people is an order that should not be disturbed. It works. There is no reason to fix something that has been working well for centuries. Stop picking at it and tweaking it. Its perfect. ...

While having lunch with a fellow believer and discussing relationships, I was asked if I had read the book about the love languages. I answered that I had not. She then proceeded to tell me vaguely about the material and how much she enjoyed the book. Oddly, I didn't hear one thing she was telling me that remotely mimicked what we know as the truth. I continued to listen to her as she explained what she thought the author was referring to in relationships and dating. It sounded very complicated and something that one would have to really study to make it a part of their life. But that would then mean to relinquish what one knows in Christ...wouldn't it? Going by the explanation given, I wondered. Though I understand that there are 4 different kinds of love in Christ (agape, phileo, eros, and storge) and each has its place in the various relationships we have with people; however, if we have not developed the one we have for God through Christ (agape), then we are wasting our...

The last entry of this blog had the definition of Oakie-Doke and all it entails. Please have a quick read to understand completely what the reference means. Recently, I was thinking about that verse with Abraham when he was leaving his parents' home and venturing forth with the direction of God at the helm, only Lot, his nephew, never got the memo and he came along as well ( Genesis 12:1-5 AMP ). The thought that was troubling was if Lot was married when he decided to leave with his uncle. The Word doesn't tell that he had anyone with him but it does clearly define that Lot had a family when leaving Sodom and Gomorrah. Or did the Word make those clarifications because of where the hearts of his family would rather have been ( Genesis 19:1-16 AMP )? The Word tells us to guard our hearts for out of them come the issue of life ( Proverbs 4:23 AMP ). We have the understanding when dating that we should be open and honest with the one we hope to be our intended. We tell of our c...

Any type of move is a transition of not only body but mind and spirit. It takes planning and organization for this to happen successfully. Moving without all aspects in place leaves room for confusion , chaos, and anxiety . We already know, that's not of God. The Word tells us to write the vision down and make it plain. This sounds like a directive, instruction, and a rule to live by. Only a fool would disregard it ( Proverbs 1:7 KJV ). What is "Oakie-Doke"? "Oakie-Doke" is a place where you were raised as a child. It can be a place that your parents started off with a young family because it is all they could afford at the time. It is a place where one would call a "comfort zone" and won't take a step for fear rather then for growth. Whether it is your mama's basement or an oppressive place of employment - it could very well be your obstacle impeding you from obtaining the blessings of the Lord. For Abraham, it was his family's home. God...

My son got married a few weeks ago and it was bitter sweet. I was a little upset because I thought he didn't take heed to any of my warnings especially when he showed me things that proved the warnings were correct. I kept praying not so much for him to find someone else but for him to gain the Wisdom he needed. I was vigilante about it. He came to visit with me. We had a nice conversation about relationships and I saw that he was frustrated because he wished to honor me by being obedient but he also wished to marry of his choosing. He began listing all of the things I had taught him for years and all  that he obtained from what I taught him. I couldn't dispute any of it. I had to keep the peace and give him my blessing. He did good (as my father would say). I also recall him telling me that his bride has this gift that what ever contest she enters or whatsoever her heart's desire she gets. He thought it was amazing that she had this gift because it has not failed yet. H...

I try not to watch too much of Maury Povich because of all of the tears that come from obtaining what is perceived as being the truth. However, as much as I try, I find there are one or two that says something out from their emotion that inspires me to write an entry to this blog. Yesterday, I watched a rerun of the aforementioned program. Normally, I just don't like reruns much, but there wasn't anything else on. Anyway, this woman knew that her live in boyfriend was cheating on her (don't they all?). He has done it before, but this time if the tests come back that he's  into his old ways, she really and truly is going to leave him. I have found in these last 5 years or so, the women have learned to ask pertinent questions on that lie detector that is more revealing then if he has cheated or not. They ask if he is still interested in marriage or if he really does love her. Its funny when it is found that he is cheating on her again but the test also reveals that he lov...

I don't have vast experience like so many others, but God has made me privy to learn so many things without experiencing them. He has placed me at events, in line with crowds of people, and at specific areas, to hear and witness conversations or statements that have either been a travesty or has left me asking God for clarity as to why a man would do such things to bone of his bone and flesh of his flesh. I know what I went through as a married woman and would never tell a woman not to marry. With the right person, marriage is a wonderful institution. However, having written that, God did give us good sense to make sure that the person we have committed and submitted our lives to have practiced the love of Christ for quite some time so when the tests come the act of doing as the Holy Spirit does is not foreign to him/her. A man was at home caring for his children while his pregnant wife was out with some friends. They were struggling financially having just bought their fi...

Why would there be pressure to get married in the Christian sect? I don't just mean any sort of Christian. I mean the born again believer, professing that Jesus Christ is Lord and walking in love in all that you do sort of Christian. Can that sort - our sort, be pressured into getting married when he/she is perfectly happy being single ( Hebrews 13:5 AMP )? What is the matter with being single? Is every believer the type to marry? Would your life truly be better and more fulfilling as a married person? Seeing that each and every one of us have our own finger prints, that is how many of us are different and treated as individuals in the sight of God. If you didn't know, try doing the same thing someone else did to be blessed. Don't you hear it all of the time, I did that why did he get a new car for what he did (or an award, or a pat on the back, etc)? The answer is because he did what God told him and you did what you saw him doing. God told him to do this or that because...

Over the years of counseling and seeing the behavior of many couples, now and again I think about them and say a prayer over them, hoping that all turned out well and whatever the issue that was revealed never comes back. Usually the issue came from the root of selfishness. Once revealed there was a collective sigh of relief, but without the practice of the love God commands from us all, the issue will return and with a vengeance (Luke 11:21-26 KJV). Why? Because God is not mocked (Galatians 6:7 KJV). Nevertheless, when writing this blog, I had to narrow the scenario to one to make it a clear vision for not only you but for men to view as well. It can be a warning or a means to have that discerning eye so not to fall in the same trap. A young couple married and were so in love when they did. Nothing could come between them. They didn't wait to create their family and as usual with a couple of impatience, there comes financial difficulty. They had a plan where they would both ...

I went to a church service that I formerly attended years ago. The people looked so different. Some gained weight while others just looked so old. Some cut their hair really short and others just lost their hair completely. When I stepped into the building there were several that remembered me and extended themselves to give me a hug. Others I expected to give hugs and they avoided me completely. I saw married couples that came to services in separate cars and sat on the opposites sides of the church. The only couple that sat together was my son and his girlfriend and the pastor and his wife. I found it sort of sad as I scoped all of the people I remembered from way back when. The purpose for me coming back to this ministry was because it was the place where my son and his girlfriend attended. He was going to the military and was asking for prayer from all of the members. They were sending him off with a going away party. I watched this particular couple. I remembered the man from th...

For many of us we take the chance with this verse in the bible because we are so enamored by what we see, we don't realize that love just doesn't work this way - especially for the devoted Christian. If you would recall, God is love and it is impossible to please Him without faith (Hebrews 11:6 KJV). Seeing that faith is the substance we hope for and the evidence not seen, how then can we equate love based on what we see? With this understanding, we can tell that beauty has already faded. The verse had also been taught that beauty fades because of age. But the verse doesn't say that. The lesson is taught based on again not experience but what has been seen. There are many of the elderly that if we saw a picture of what they looked like in their younger years, you couldn't recognize them. The mother of a high school classmate had family pictures on a mantel in her home. When I visited them, I saw the pictures and tried to examine them closer. The classmate's moth...

Have we lost sight of the reason 2 people join to marry? Is it for the children born out of wedlock? Is it to please the parents who have waited long enough for their children to get it together and settle down? Is it just for peace of mind so not to stress about the proverbial biological clock or because everyone else is doing it. For all of the those other reasons, what will the overall outcome be? How bright will the future look without all that God says you should have first? I know of someone who has expressed anger at the long wait to be married (1 Thessalonians 5:18 AMP). This isn't new. Who else just gave in and went down the aisle anyway? How many people live in regret today? It is what I think about that helps with any oppressive thought the enemy tries to tempt me with (1 Corinthians 10:13 NIV). Of course I use the Word and having a better understanding of what to apply it to is the added help. If the thought isn't cast down to the obedience of Christ , one ...

Is it unfathomable that Wisdom could watch the stupidity of others and say nothing? Some have turned from the truth looking to hear that which tickles the ears (2 Timothy 4:3-4 AMP). They heard instruction that would be to their benefit and also to their families, but that would mean giving up what God says not to do. Which also arises question as to why when receiving correction one tries to bombard the issue of all that one cannot do living in Christ as opposed to being disciplined to receive the abundance that is available just for the asking? Wisdom gives such poignant lessons throughout the Word and especially in the book of Proverbs. In studying this book, it should convince those who are marrying for the soul purpose of self gratification to step back and take a good look at who is leading and to where (Proverbs 11:3 AMP). The personalities of people are well disguised in making a good first impression (and months afterward). The signs of the true character cannot help ...