Making It Plain

Why would you think as soon as you find the person you are to marry that your services are no longer to submit to your husband when he is looking for you to be. But what about his service? Is he not to love his wife as Christ loves the church ( Ephesians 5:25 AMP )? What does he think that means? Jesus served. He washed the feet of the disciples ( John 13:5-10 AMP ). He humbled himself. When a man reminds his wife about submission, does that sound like what Jesus did with the church? Jesus said that He came not to condemn man but for man to have life and have it more abundantly ( John 3:17 AMP ). Does the man have that same characteristic when he interacts with her? If he doesn't have it while dating, he won't be this way during the marriage. If you served before dating, why do you think it changes? This is more true of men then it is of women. Women know that men need help. We are conditioned to serve. Why don't men have this same training? I recall a young man telli...

What would make a person hire a private investigator or have a criminal background check on the one he/she is dating? Does it make sense, even in these days and times? What would this background check prove? What would the photographs that the private investigator obtained prove? What if nothing was found? Is the person now trustworthy? Will he/she ever cheat? Will the dating process for the purposes of marriage continue? Will you be less insecure ( 2 Timothy 1:7 KJV )? Because of the way people are, our past experiences, and/or the lessons from those who have had worse experiences, we have become jaded with the care free wonderfulness a relationship can bring. Two people in agreement with ethics, values, morals, a Christian lifestyle Monday through Sunday (24/7), how to raise children, where to live, who will be at home and who will be making the income, house work, yard work, the budget, vacations, etc. Why wouldn't it be wonderful? It was destined by God - right? I have t...

Would a teenager today know what an adult is referring to if asked, "let's talk about the birds and the bees?" More then likely the two would be on different journeys. The topic of sex was brought on through this subject matter for the purposes of discretion, respect, keeping private matters private, and knowing that intimacy is only between those two people. At the same time, going about the subject in the nature genre was an open door for asking a barrage of questions, confusion, and complete frustration for the female because menstruation, in particular, is no where near a bird, bee, flower, or tree. I recall when I had the "talk". My Dad told my Mom that it was time. I think it was around when they were teaching me about the finer things in life - like the ballet. As we watched the dancers, I asked, "why didn't someone tell that man that he's all bunched up in the front? See how nice and smooth all of the ladies are? Why didn't he tuck bet...

The last entry of this blog had the definition of Oakie-Doke and all it entails. Please have a quick read to understand completely what the reference means. Recently, I was thinking about that verse with Abraham when he was leaving his parents' home and venturing forth with the direction of God at the helm, only Lot, his nephew, never got the memo and he came along as well ( Genesis 12:1-5 AMP ). The thought that was troubling was if Lot was married when he decided to leave with his uncle. The Word doesn't tell that he had anyone with him but it does clearly define that Lot had a family when leaving Sodom and Gomorrah. Or did the Word make those clarifications because of where the hearts of his family would rather have been ( Genesis 19:1-16 AMP )? The Word tells us to guard our hearts for out of them come the issue of life ( Proverbs 4:23 AMP ). We have the understanding when dating that we should be open and honest with the one we hope to be our intended. We tell of our c...

Any type of move is a transition of not only body but mind and spirit. It takes planning and organization for this to happen successfully. Moving without all aspects in place leaves room for confusion , chaos, and anxiety . We already know, that's not of God. The Word tells us to write the vision down and make it plain. This sounds like a directive, instruction, and a rule to live by. Only a fool would disregard it ( Proverbs 1:7 KJV ). What is "Oakie-Doke"? "Oakie-Doke" is a place where you were raised as a child. It can be a place that your parents started off with a young family because it is all they could afford at the time. It is a place where one would call a "comfort zone" and won't take a step for fear rather then for growth. Whether it is your mama's basement or an oppressive place of employment - it could very well be your obstacle impeding you from obtaining the blessings of the Lord. For Abraham, it was his family's home. God...

The emphasis that has been put on quirky habits have been minimal. In this blog, they have been stressed. Why? Because the world allows excuses for poor behavior when the Word gets to the root of the matter so that we can all turn from those wicked ways ( Luke 15:10 AMP ). Wicked? Isn't that a little harsh? Is divorce harsh? Seriously, the complaints heard over the years don't make sense until you have been through what the complaining is about. What's more is the one complaining only tells one side of the story. The complainer has no participation in what caused the problem and the resolve only benefits the one complaining. Neither party will allow the will of the other ( James 5:9 AMP ). Both, having oppositional views, believe each independent of the other, is right. Where's the love in that? That same love that will carry you through or above any obstacle. What happened to that ( Colossians 3:13 AMP )? When did things change? Read the changes that ha...

Seriously? Let's be realistic. We know what to say and do in Christ ( Matthew 22:37-40 AMP ). We also know what not to say and do to maintain righteousness ( 2 Timothy 2:22 AMP ). We also know that the love of money is the root of all evil ( 1 Timothy 6:10 AMP ). Having that foundation, let's rip off the rose colored glasses, turn on some light and get really real up in here! Chemistry, butterfly feelings, what you think is the move of the Holy Spirit, and all of else that floats your boat, isn't at all what this post is about. The entire blog is about being real when all of the tulle and satin bow-ties have been put away. No one is talking about the reception anymore and the flash mob scene for the proposal has been done to the point of it being a cliche. This blog is about all that must be in the plan during the process of dating. From the right questions to the course of action for the two becoming one years later after walking down the aisle and everything in betwe...

Well, what did you expect was going to happen? Do you really think when you get married that she is going to clean up all of your crap for you? Did you really think that's what God meant when He created a help for you? Really? Who taught you that foolishness? Before you even try to form the word, God, think about what you are about to say. The all knowing, all powerful God, loved you so much that He created a woman to be your own personal slave? So He loved you more then He loves her ? What sort of god do you serve? Seriously, where do you think women's lib came from? Idiotic thinking from the man. He didn't value his wife, thought he could do whatever he wished whenever he wished, and didn't care for the good thing he had at home. Where was she going to go? She didn't have an education ( Hosea 4:6 KJV ). She was working menial jobs for her husband to go through school. When he was finished, he didn't think it necessary for her to go to school and have...

When looking for a specific job, many hope to find one with benefits. Not all jobs have that. There is a reason for this. Those that only look for employment with benefits have been out in the work force, have an education, or something has happened to them in life giving them the realization that medical bills are expensive. Those without that realization are just young or frankly, immature. The employer is no dummie as well. He/she already knows in order to get the position filled it must be attractive enough to draw the qualified personnel toward it. When interviewing, the seasoned employer makes sure that certain criterion are met before issuing out those benefits. He/she knows that everyone comes dressed to impress but given time to allow for the perspective employee to show a desirable pattern of professionalism so that it doesn't cost the employer time or money that is allotted with the benefits. Any detouring from the agreed expectations, the employer can t...

To be an addict is someone that has allowed for their body chemistry to change by the substance. This substance then dictates the course of the day by regulating the desires of the flesh. The addict no longer has any control of plans that could lead in a direction of decency, order, or success. The plans are always positioned around the substance and how much more of the substance the addict can get. You would think Christians are supposed to be addicted to love? Isn't there a song about having that sort of addiction? I know, I sung it back in the day. It was a catchy tune too. And yet the lyrics have nothing to do with Christianity. So how does this work in the arena of Christian dating? When I was finally in a ministry (church) where I was receiving teaching based on the Word and that it is applicable for everyday living, I was ecstatic. I finally could understand why it was important to be a Christian and the changes I needed to make to sustain the abundant life that was...

The title of this blog is a portion to the lyrics from Rick James' Super Freak song . I thought about this after seeing an excerpt from one of my favorite authors show, Michelle McKinney Hammond. It was her best friend speaking and he made mention of this song. I thought about what he said, and was led in a different direction showing me how I thought what I was doing in raising my sons was the right thing to do when actually it showed fear. I had to repent, turn from those ways, and write to allow you to see where changes need to be made. Nevertheless, here is the video in its entirety. It is a blessing to view: I told my sons that a man can fool a woman and a woman can fool a man but a man can't fool another man and a woman can't fool another woman. It is what my mother taught me. I believed this for such a long time and then I was fooled by another woman ( 1 Timothy 4:6-8 AMP ). How? She was older and had been around the block a few times with the kind of il...

There is this chemistry that people talk about when one is attracted to another. Once the chemistry is acknowledged, then the conversation begins. Its pretty difficult having a decent conversation with all of the smiling going on and trying your very best not to mess this one up. Being too cute maybe nauseating to spectators but your not trying to impress them. Right now, at that very moment, no one else exists but that person whom you seem not to be able to take your eyes off of. The butterflies...they are a fluttering. Your head...feels a little light. Your feet....not even touching the ground. The actuality of it...you are delusional! SNAP OUT OF IT!!! There is no need to jump into some Junior High School puppy love crap. That silliness described above is what the secular world falls into and then regret months (if not years with children) later. This entry is to make sure you are fully aware of the mind games that are played on a constant to get you in the bed, in trouble, in sin...