Sunday, December 21, 2014

Hark The Herald Angels Sing....

This is the time of year when some of us single people start making assessments of our lives and wonder if there will ever be the right person to come along or be presented to. Its a time when we are invited to family gatherings to exchange gifts. Its a time when we should be happy, but during those family gatherings, whether you make those self actualizing assessments or not, your family has and will undoubtedly know what's best for you when they think you don't. The questions of if you will ever marry anyone or will Nana ever have any great grand children or did you meet Mrs. Wilson's daughter/son down the road? She/he's back in town and is single too. Or the actual "fix-up" was invited to spend the night just to see what you look like in the morning and how you deal with your day.

Ah, family.... you didn't design them and they won't allow you to redesign them either - no matter how much you plead. Yet, if they were any different then who they are, you would not be the person you are. That's a good thing. Being single at the age you are right now, you don't feel like its all that good, but it is (Philippians 4:11 AMP). You have been created for a time such as this...someone needed you at a crucial moment in their life and you never thought it was a big deal but it was to them. Life has changed for several people because of your existence. My mother told me that when you think no one is looking at you, that's when someone is. Not in that stalker crazy way but in a way where the person is emulating your mannerisms, desiring to be more like you, admiring how you can take a stressful situation and deal calmly with the problem (Matthew 5:16 AMP). Its your own message from God without you even trying.

A couple of weeks ago, a man took his life. I didn't know him very well but I saw him all of the time. He had a girlfriend and she loved him dearly. He was an elderly man but you couldn't tell by looking at him. He kept himself physically fit and looked as if he was middle aged. Retired, he didn't waste a moment just lazing around. He swam everyday and traveled extensively. Just returning back from the tropics he noticed a tremor he had was getting worse. He lost his balance once and decided to go see a doctor to find if there was anything wrong with him. He was diagnosed with Parkinson's Disease. The next day, his remains were discovered. The question that I have heard when someone has made a decision to leave this world is, how could a person be so selfish? There is a myriad of answers that has nothing to do with what God thinks of the matter. Can a person, who loves the Lord, be so depressed about his/her circumstances that leaving this world is the answer (John 10:27 AMP)? There is no way to answer that when you put Jesus in the equation....and because of that, the first question is answered.

You see, its this time of year when we are not the focus. We are supposed to be thinking of others, if not during this season - when? If being at home alone is depressing, go out and be elsewhere. If going to the family gathering to answer the same questions is something to dread, don't go.  If watching couples skating, holding hands and kissing when you don't have anyone to hold makes you feel melancholy, find something else to do. Can't think of anything? Go to a crisis center and answer phone calls of others feeling the same way or are worse off then you. Pray for them (James 5:16 AMP). Go to a soup kitchen and serve passing out bread or dishing out some soup. Go to the children's hospital and give some gifts or read a story to children who are less fortunate then you (James 1:27 AMP). Just as many complaints one can give, there are so many reasons not to. Complaints come from focusing on one'self most of the time (Philippians 2:14 AMP). There are 24 hours in a day - place most of that time on someone else (2 Corinthians 9:7 AMP). If that didn't shake "the blahs" off, do what was previously suggested for more then an hour, and again the next day. Just be more aware of others and what you can do for them.

What does this have to do with being single? Everything. You aren't just single, you are a Christian. We strive to be more like Christ. If He spent His day thinking of Himself, we wouldn't be called Christians. We would be sinners on our way to hell.

Why was this entry entitled from the lyric of a Christmas carol? I was in a restaurant last week and the holiday music was wafting through the establishment. I heard this song and was humming it in my mind and had to stop because I recognized that the singer changed the words to the song. I stopped humming and listened to the rest of the course just in case I got something wrong. Nope, she changed it. The song I remember without checking the lyrics on google, went something like this:
Hark, the herald angels sing,
Glory to the new born King.
Peace on earth and mercy mild,
God and sinner reconciled.
Joyful all ye nations rise,
Joyful are the triumphant skies,
With angelic host proclaim,
Christ is born in Bethlehem.
Hark, the herald angels sing,
Glory to, the new born King!

What the singer changed was glory to the new born King to Jesus Christ is born. I suppose one could think its practically the same thing and shouldn't mean that much. So why change it? If this subtle change is acceptable, what else will be changed? The bible was taken out of the public school system. The children changed and everyone noticed that. Who said, that the bibles should be put back? Everyone. Did it happen yet? Christmas is the celebration of the birth of our Lord and Savior. It is the one time when the spirit is around the world in full strength. People can't help but to smile. Be aware of those subtle changes around you. Be sensitive to the Holy Spirit. Notice more then yourself and pray. Always be vigilant in your prayers. Always.

Monday, December 8, 2014

Avoiding the Geezers and Skeezers

...unless that's what you are attracted to. If so, please disregard and check back next week. For everyone else of the faith, listen closely.

A couple of years ago, I wrote an entry entitled, Slim Pick'ns?. The encouragement was pouring out of it for the reader to know, as time marches on and the selection looks less and less, to rejoice. Its the broad way that leads to destruction. Meaning, because there is so much to choose from, if one relationship doesn't work out, you would always be wondering, "what if it was her/him and I missed out on my blessing." Those entertained suggestions would be a lack of faith and if continued to be entertained by them, regret would gain access (James 1:6 AMP). With this little bit of explanation, you can see where the destruction comes in and how it can spill over into everything. Now, the side note: do you also see how temptation works? The enemy does his job. You are responsible to do yours (1 Peter 1:16 AMP). A lack of faith will give the enemy access to all of your treasure. Do you see that (Luke 11:21-26 AMP)?

Some years ago, getting a little impatient myself, I went scrolled through a selection of men in my age group with a certain status created on a Christian website. Thrilled wasn't exactly the reaction with what was left. Disappointment is putting it mildly therefore, I went to look in other age groups where it didn't used to be a big deal. What I mean is, back in my 30's, the gentlemen being a few years older was a good thing. 20 years older wasn't that bad. The cut off age would come when the selection started to look like the winos at the local convenience store and wondering how this or that guy got on the website? Missing teeth and a bit scraggly was someone else's blessing, cup of tea, or boat floater. It wasn't mine. The cut off limit back then was 10 - 15 years older. That quickly changed to 5-8 years and now....I am smack in the middle of the group I was avoiding. Time marches on whether you are ready or not and being a cougar isn't appealing.

In another entry, I wrote about a man who seemed to be interested, came up to me and gave me his phone number. I wasn't attracted to him, though politely, I accepted his phone number. He was pleasant enough, he just looked like some of those men on that website. Weeks later, I was approached by another man, looking the same way as the previous man written about in that entry. And then it happened again. Was there a convention in town? They all looked the same but were completely different men. I was getting a  bit discouraged; nevertheless, did some reflecting to see what it is I had to change or was it a test where some of us don't recognize and eventually give in because that's all that out there. Yeesh, its a scary thought but not unforeseen because it has the making of desperation all over it.

In an entry entitled Grumpy Old Men, there are scenarios for the reader to see that people who are supposed to get better with age like a fine wine - don't, if they don't care to. They have to make some sort of effort. Too many people getting to a certain age and believing they have a right to be thoughtless and inconsiderate was a goal. I seriously doubt if anyone finds those kinds of qualities endearing. Still, some change for the sake of the date and when the vows have been taken, the real leach comes out of hiding. This entry is to assist in avoiding that horror show.

So with that picture in mind, when going out on a date with this potential person to marry: the guy believes she is the one that God presented to him like the way He did with Adam and the woman. The woman on the date should be knowing this as well. There, that's the first thing agreed upon. If you don't have at least that, what are you doing? Answer: getting in trouble! Back to the couple in agreement, now the title of this entry is avoiding the skeezers and geezers. How are you going to do that? Well, did you pray before the date? Do you have a plan with the questions that you are going to ask? Were the answers what you expected or at least, interesting? If yes, good - you are well on your way in establishing a good, loving relationship with this person. If not, (sigh) please click on the highlighted portions and get to studying. Dating is not your biggest problem.


Thursday, November 27, 2014

The Gush Versus The Woo (Ladies)

It is normal to ask a man, if he hasn't already told you, what it was that attracted him to you. Some might speak in a riddle thinking he is cute, a poem, or directly. Whichever the way he chooses, the intention is still the same: flattery and distraction. Now let that settle for a moment, knowing who you are in Christ.

First, this is for the ladies, though the guys are welcome to continue on reading. Second, I know this is going to mess up many of men and the rap they have been using for years; nevertheless, if you continue to read this, you will realize how much sense it makes and why neither you or him has been getting anywhere with your relationship.

Flattery is what we all like to hear and while they are talking, depending on whether you are mature enough, we look into their eyes and for mannerisms to see if the guy with all of his lovely language is being sincere or is his plan less then honorable (Matthew 7:17-19 AMP). Distraction takes the focus off of the good intentions, if there were any. If what is on your mind is to date for the purposes of marriage without having to compromise your principles, a smooth talker can change all of that (Psalms 55:21 AMP). How? There are those who are starved for affection and attention. All it takes is the tiniest of compliment to turn the head - and that's not good.

A young man asked about a young woman who was raised by her single mother with no brothers. It was like a wolf stalking his prey. By asking about this young woman to anyone who knew her, he was doing what many evangelists and pastors have suggested for single people to do (Proverbs 7:4-5 AMP). However, if she isn't mature and has some sort of identity crisis, she would be one of many that fall victim to the "booty call" - the wolf's answer to her quiet shrieking need for attention and affection. This kind of interaction is quick, satisfying (temporarily), having little to no concern for the casualties (children being influenced) in its quake (Mark 9:42 AMP). With this same need by so many and because of the mistakes from the previous generation, this guy could juggle 2-3 of them just by using flattery for distraction.

What mistakes from the previous generation? The ones when we were told to be in the house before the street lights came on, but thought we were grown enough to do whatever we wanted to do....and then 9 months later have all kinds of excuses for not wanting to take care of those responsibilities (Proverbs 10:17 AMP). Nevertheless, instead of learning that valuable and exhausting lesson, either from personal experience, a parent's re-evaluating what didn't work the first time, or seeking counseling, the young woman is now focusing on getting married to have a father figure for the unplanned child. That never happens because there are more wolves then there are decent guys in the land of Oakie Doke and unbeknownst to her - she has turned into one of them (a she-wolf). She continues to be distracted having another unplanned pregnancy for that child to be starved for attention and affection as well. Meaning, she is raising more of them to be like her...and they aren't all female. "Everyone makes mistakes," is the slogan of the world; however, after the 3rd, 5th, and 7th child all having different fathers and no one pays child support - its no longer considered a mistake but a choice of lifestyle (1 Timothy 5:8 KJV). You see, flattery does get you somewhere, just not where you thought you would be.

On the flip side, I have to refer to my Lord and Savior. From the Old Testament, the prophetic Word keeps appearing about the coming of the Messiah and what He is going to do. The people are anticipating His coming. Their preparation is keeping the 10 Commandments in hopes that they are righteous enough for Him. When He comes (The New Testament), those who are aware come baring gifts. As He grows from a boy to a man, the gifts don't stop coming and the Word tells us what catches His eye. He notices the best efforts and its faith that gets His attention (Luke 8:43-48 AMP). The affection He has for people never ceases and it is noticeable every time He comes to see us (Matthew 9:23-25 AMP). He speaks kindly and has thought provoking words that changes us from the inside out (John 4:1-42 AMP). When He leaves its only for a moment so we can build our faith as He did so we can be more like Him (John 16:7 AMP). Why would we need to be more like Him? So we are recognized when He comes for His bride.

Look at this from a smaller scale, before the fall of man. There was no sin. It is the place we are trying to get to again. This place is heaven; nevertheless, in the garden of Eden, God and Adam corresponded. When it was all said and done, there was a presentation made - woman. The fall happened after the presentation and then God asked, "where are you?" Something happened that separated the correspondence - sin. Jesus came so we could have that correspondence again. For it is written, no one can come to the Father but through the Son. This lesson is not bashed over our heads to be submissive nor is it needed to be used as a fear tactic to be a Christian nor used as bribe for us to do as He would have us to do. This is what man has done to it. God is good and loves us. The lesson is clear for us to decide what we are going to do with our lives. Once the decision is made (life), the understanding is next, which leads to the abundance He came to give (John 10:10 AMP).

Now, if we take the method Jesus used - the mistake slogan can fall by the way side. In Christ, there is no identity crisis. We have much to do and are about our Father's business. Because of this, the intentions are always good and honorable. Flattering words become annoying because the flesh has been crucified with its lusts and affections (Galatians 5:24 AMP). We know we are loved and receive attention through Him because our worship and praise are reciprocated. He delights in the prosperity of His servants because our faith is constantly working. Why? We know its impossible to please Him without it.

So you see there is a difference between gushing over someone and being wooed. Gushing feeds the flesh and temporarily sustains the lust and greedy appetite. Wooing draws the Spirit and plants your feet to walk on a plain path. Gushing will eventually leave you alone and desperate. Wooing will keep you filled and builds you up to be strong and mature. Your eyes must be open to these tactics or you will be prey to temptation that is waiting for a fall - again.

Thursday, October 30, 2014

Preparation

I used to be a seamstress when I was in college trying to make ends meet. I learned that it wasn't the garment I was really trying to sell but all of the small details that made the garment better then what a customer could purchase off the rack. Not only was it custom fitted, it had closed or french seams so the construction of the garment was durable even in the wash. I would add expensive buttons and leather accents when needed. The design would be simple enough but with all of the details, it made the customer come back to see what else I created.

That's business. Its what all business owners do to maintain a brand (Proverbs 6:9-11 AMP). Should this be any different in a marriage or establishing a relationship for marriage? We already discussed thoroughly how the dating process is more like an interview then anything else. We know that if you become distracted with the dress to impress and all of the flattering words, you lose sight of the whole purpose for the date - marriage (Jude 1:16 AMP). If your mind is on anything else, its not good. Plain and simple. The romance, flowers, letters, and the actual wooing begins when there is an agreement between both parties for exclusivity to create an engagement, otherwise it serves as a distraction. The agreement between both parties is the initiation of a contract. The reason for this entry is, has preparation for that time come and continued?

Before the presentation for the date, there is a preparation. We know what the guy has to do and hopefully so does he or the date is going to be short and a little bitter. But the female has so much to consider when she knows she has been chosen to be the help a specific man needs. There is an anointing to be a wife. It is a ministry all by itself (1 Peter 3 AMP). So how have you prepared yourself? What was the specific thing you changed and continued to be the assistance with ease?

I am finding Bishop T.D. Jakes' sermon from so many years back, "Get Ready, Get Ready, Get Ready!!!" an instructional tool for so many different aspects in a believer's life. For this topic, it tells us what we should be doing and must continue to do. Men, we have been over what should have already been established for you not to be alone. It is not good to be alone when you have a house, a job, a plan, provision, and a vision. God made the provision for Adam and then proclaimed that man needed help. This is a good lesson to all of those who think that young love needs to struggle to be in a good relationship. Do the struggling and growing up independent of ruining anyone else's life. I don't know why people won't teach that more then they have!!!

Then God created the help meet for Adam. Has it been established what she will be doing to help him? Should she have some insight as to what she should be doing? While that question could get really deep from who you are in Christ to the Holy Spirit showing us things to come, I shall keep it as simple as possible. There are basics that women should automatically be doing. These basics are not necessarily keeping the place where you live habitable because if you make enough money you can hire a housekeeper, cook, gardener, and carpenter for your home. There is nothing the matter with that. The Proverbs 31 woman had a house staff to tell what they need to do for the day to be successful. What I am referring to is your personal house - the body. Back fat, shaved pits, legs, and other places. I am referring to woolly eyebrows, skin tags, jagged fingernails, a paunch, and talons for toenails. Do you wash your hair once a week or once a month? How is your thought life? When you have had a bad day, will shopping get you out of your funk or do you have other means? Is food a comfort for you or do you use the Holy Spirit? Have you been to a dentist? Does your breath smell like roses or the compost heap? The Bride is the body of Christ. Putting things into perspective and then looking in the mirror, can we deduct why Jesus hasn't come yet and why you are still single?

Seriously, I hit a point in my life where I knew I was going to marry again and I had to get really real. Jesus is waiting for His bride. I wondered, what is going on? Come on Jesus, let's do this! Those were those zealot days. I wasn't any more ready for the return of Jesus then any of you reading this. I still got crap to clean up - if you wanna know the truth! I prayed about it thinking I was alright...but then I was shown what I needed to do and it seemed as if I hadn't done anything. Then He said something to me that almost made me wanna cry...everyday. WHAT?!!! (Philippians 4:6 AMP)

Every freaking day I need to take my vitamins, exercise, eat right, clean some part of the house, cook a meal instead of going to a restaurant, check the manicure and pedicure. Everyday, we know to do our regular hygiene, so why would all of those other things in keeping it tight be an issue? Everyday, I go to work and am cordial to my co-workers. Everyday, on my job, I have to talk to people and assist them in what they need for that given moment. There isn't a problem with doing that. I know there is an end result. It is what I was hired to do and that paycheck helps. So what happened with those other things God is nudging us to do? Don't we believe the end result will be favorable? Do you believe more that you will be doing all of that work for nothing? Has the past taken hold of your future and refuses to let go?

Joyce Meyer, a well known tele-evangelist, is 71. She looks good! Yet, would she look as well as she does now if she had not been obedient to the nudge of the Holy Spirit? According to her, she used to smoke like a chimney while saved and teaching others to live for God. She didn't exercise and she complained incessantly. It took her some years but she quit smoking, lost weight, and hired a trainer. Did I mention that she is 71 years old!!! She has been married to Dave for over 35 years and it is her 2nd marriage. That in of itself encourages me.

I suppose this entry became very poignant when looking at reality TV and seeing that certain shows stay popular because of the rank attitudes of the women. If knocking over a dinner table isn't riveting enough, why not step on top and over it to get to a rival to slap the crap out of her. Is this appropriate behavior for those claiming to be Christian? And yet, we are glued to see what happens next week. Yeah, I do it too. My point being, entertainment is one thing; however, if tested, would we do what we know is right or the very thing we have been entertained with?

Remember that list we discussed oh so many years ago? All of those wonderful attributes we would love to live with for the rest of our lives. If you really look at that list that you used to have. were you not describing Jesus? Now look in the mirror. How much more do you have to do to meet everything on your list (Titus 2 AMP)? You better get crackin'!


Monday, September 29, 2014

Just To Be Close

I think we all have a need to be loved and/or wanted. It seems to be basic and really understandable. Have couples come together with this understanding? Have they fared well? Was God pleased when these two met each other; one hoping to be needed and the other wanting to be loved? Don't those 2 words just euphemise desperation?

 The Lord is My Shepherd, I shall not want...., it is written. My God supplies all of my needs according to His riches in glory...., is is written. ...whatever state you are in, be content...it is written. So how then could God be pleased or the couple do well in the relationship if there is no faith in what God said is already yours in Him?

Now love, that's a different matter altogether. Why would a Christian believe he/she isn't loved? I counseled such a person and I couldn't understand why she would say such a thing. I didn't have anything at the ready for her because I assumed if you claim to be a Christian, of course you have to know you are loved. She said, "I don't believe anyone could love anyone else that much." I was at a loss on how to combat that. You see, it wasn't that she didn't understand what the Word said and it wasn't that she didn't understand why Jesus did what He did, it was she didn't believe anyone would do such a thing just from love (John 3:16 AMP).

How can you be a Christian and not accept His love? The woman I was counseling accepted Jesus as her Lord and Savior but could not believe salvation was made because of His love. Then how could she be a Christian? How could she pray? How could she ask to have someone to love if she didn't know what that sort of love is (1 John 4:8 AMP)? How could she walk in the Spirit so not to fulfill the lust of the flesh?She looked at me with a blank stare after 4 weeks of counseling. I didn't know what else to say and felt like I wasted my time. How can you pour water into a pitcher if the pitcher is cracked (1 Corinthians 13:1-3 AMP)?

We are able to recognize each other because of that love (Matthew 22:36-40 AMP). We have accepted and walk it out each and everyday of our lives. Its that love that causes us to recognize who is the one and why (1 Corinthians 13:4-10 AMP). Its a knowing dwelling on the inside and we have fed that knowing by attending church services, being obedient to His Word, serving others, and prayer.

This morning I had a business meeting. Afterward, instead of returning to my place of employment, I went to breakfast at a restaurant - alone. The hostess asked if I would like a table or a booth. I requested a booth because I knew the single tables are placed in obscurity.  When I was seated the waitress asked if I would like anything else to drink besides water. I asked for tea and lemon. When she returned and placed the cup and saucer on the table, I was ready to order. It didn't take long for me to receive my meal, in the meantime, I had poured the hot water, squeezed the lemon, stirred in 2 teaspoons of sugar (thinking I would have preferred honey) and sipped while texting a co-worker on my phone.When my meal arrived, I placed the cup and saucer to my right, the water on my left. I placed my napkin in my lap while thanking the waitress for the excellent service. I proceeded to enjoy my food. The waitress came to me a few minutes later to see if I would like anymore hot water. I did. When I was full, I left what was on my plate with my eating utensil, the napkin from my lap (after wiping my mouth) and the saucer and cup. By this, the waitress knew I was finished and placed the bill on the table. I thanked her again and left her a tip. Before I did, a man dressed in a taupe argyle sweater vest, light blue long sleeved shirt with salt and peppered hair walked up to me and said, "Excuse me Miss, I am from the South...Georgia to be exact (he bowed). I was sitting over there watching you eat. I have never....it was a delight. I see so many people eat like...well,....it was just an elegant delight." My first reaction was, what? Why are you watching me? But then, I laughed and thanked him...still it felt a little odd. I put it out of my mind and got up to pay my bill. While waiting for the cashier, this same man came up behind me with a small stack of napkins and said in a quiet voice, his name. He extended his hand. I shook it and told him mine. He then said, "if you ever wish to go out again, you don't have to eat alone....." He rifled through the napkins to get the one that has his name and phone number on it and gave it to me. "Call me, " he concluded. I said, thank you and it was nice meeting him then proceeded to pay my bill.

That was it. There were no sirens, no whistles, and that stir of the knowing didn't ignite. I hear people say that when you meet the one, there doesn't necessarily have to be all of what we expect. I beg to differ. The all powerful, all knowing God that has created you for a time such as this, who knew you before you were formed in the womb allows you to be surprised on Christmas and your birthday but when you meet the spouse that you are to spend the rest of your life with, it's supposed to be...bleh? The God that requires a bride without spot or wrinkle for His only begotten Son, but when we get married its just...ordinary? The God that gives you the desires of your heart and delights in your prosperity will make a presentation of your good thing in obscurity? What God do you serve?

The point is, if I can go to church and sense the Holy Spirit even before services begin, if I can go to a bible study group expecting good things and receive them, if I can ask my Heavenly Father for whatever and know that I know it is well with Him, why wouldn't that be true when seeing the man I am to date for the purposes of marriage? With this man at the restaurant, I sensed nothing. He was pleasant to talk to but I won't be calling him. Not for conversation or anything else. If he was interested like that, he would have said who he is in Christ rather then being a Southerner, which apparently was more important for him to convey. The woman I was counseling was interested in finding love but was seeking it with men when her relationship with God is the one that was in jeopardy. No matter how hard she searched, it would all be for nothing because she has no concept of love. Here is what you need to ponder, how many more of them are out there and how many of them would never admit to it. Do you have that inner knowing to tell the difference? Selah.

Friday, September 12, 2014

Heads of State and Corporations

It was an episode of the original Law and Order television series (season 10, episode 10) that had me thinking about what men are doing with the nuclear family and why they should care. In the episode there were these teenagers that were minding their own business when an older teen student of the same school began bullying one of the other children to the point of killing him. When the story unfolds, it is discovered that the father was aware of what his son was doing all along. From the illegal weapons he assisted in getting for his son to allowing his son to go in the basement and practice terrorist moves on an old mannequin. Yet when it came time to confess to murder, the father had many excuses and was definitely not about to take the blame for the actions of his son. It was clear to everyone else including the son, who took a plea deal of guilty. Eventually, the father did as well.

In these last days, we can see the union of 2 people having children without first being married is out of order. Nevertheless, the product of that won't go away or disappear once you have confessed to the Lord and are forgiven (1 John 1:9 AMP). You still have to make the best of it. Know that it will be difficult when matters are out of order, but it can't be disregarded or matters will definitely get worse.

Let's make that as clear as it can possibly be so that there will be no room for misconceptions or misunderstandings as to what God expects of you. It is the reason why so many people out in the world have issues with the bible and the boundaries it places us in when coming into the knowledge of the truth (Hebrews 10:26 AMP). Its because the flesh has taken over and does not wish to conform. The love of God is not in such a person who does not wish to change. Without that love, there cannot be any faith (Hebrews 10:38 AMP). Without faith, it is impossible to please God. If God cannot find any pleasure in it, it has become His enemy.

We know that the Word tells us to flee fornication. Many of us have climbed over this barrier for what ever the reason. Since then, lesson learned and we have been made whole through Christ Jesus. Once restored, we do what we need to continue to be in right standing with Him. If a child is the product of the indiscretion, we must also do what is necessary to make sure the child is brought into this world with provision. This is the responsibility of the 2 people that created the child. Not the extended family or "the village" you might have been hoping for.

Now, there is a saying: Mamma's baby, Daddy's maybe. Fine, to the guys: you might have some
doubt and with good reason. But guess what? You created that doubt when you climbed over that barrier knowing you weren't supposed to in the first place (1 Corinthians 6:18 AMP) . So don't allow for that thought to keep creeping back in. You know you had sex with that woman. So until the time comes for a DNA test, be the responsible one and take care of her and that baby (1 Timothy 5:8 AMP). God sees you maintaining accountability. This is faith at work and He is pleased that you are keeping that restoration rather then turning back to those wicked ways. During this time, when you are determined to do what is right, all of those who you thought were also walking with God will come and tell you things that are contrary to what you have decided to do. Understand those people are serving as your test. Pass it!

For the guy who would rather lick his wounds and have a pity party... you know who you are. You have all of the excuses as to why you shouldn't help this woman in her time of need with this baby. Most of the time, these single women won't act like they are afraid because they have reconciled in their mind that they are by themselves and they have to be strong. Crying is a sign of weakness to them. They have refused to be emotional and won't dare show weakness with you either. However anger is acceptable (Ephesians 4:26 AMP). This is not the time to start any arguments so she can tell you she never wants to see you again. You hope to manipulate the situation and make it her fault that you aren't seeing your child. You would be mistaken. God still sees you and you will be held accountable whether you believe it or not. God is not manipulated with the like of you (Galatians 6:7 AMP).  Another thing, stop entertaining to do unacceptable antics. None of the tossing the baby in the air, making plans to take the baby to the crazy side of the family, teaching the baby nonsense just to get the mother up in arms. She doesn't need the aggravation and neither will you. All of the mischief you do to get out of being a mature man will come back for you with a vengeance. It will be God's anger.

Alright, what sort of job do you have? How are you making money? Babies aren't cheap. You might not wish to hear it but they have to eat. If you are unloading all of the responsibility on her and her family to do...remember about the vengeance thing. He is still coming for you. You cannot expect for your life to be peaceful or find any success while you have a child or children that are not being cared for? How are you asking God for anything when your child is with someone else screaming to be fed, changed, burped, or played with? How much sense does that make when God is a GOOD FATHER!!!

Finally, I noticed that the reality show, Scared Straight changed their title to Beyond Scared Straight. Why did they find this necessary? Because society has changed. There are some teenagers that walk around and can put some of the worse criminals, back in the day, to shame. From using profanity to their parent to abusing them for money, drugs, or just because. What makes a child so angry? In my experience, its not having a father in the home or in the life of the child. Where there is no father, hope is difficult to find. While watching one of the latest episodes of Beyond Scared Straight, I saw there was a common theme. The children were doing all they could to be locked up. The inmates explained what would happen to them if they saw any one of those children in prison. Some shuttered and did whatever they needed to, so not to return. Others were determined to get behind those bars. Why? Because that's where his/her parents are. The child was emulating the parent and needed to be comforted by the one that created them. How does one fight that kind of determination? What will the show be called for the next generation?

What will your legacy be? How are you going to turn this around? Am I only referring to the men? Yes, men are the reason for the state of this world. Men are the reason children grow up the way they do. It is man that God will judge for not being there for his child. You asked for your prayers to be answered but were you available to answer the cries of your child? You have no excuse. Will your children grow up to be healthy viable beacons of light in society or will they find an excuse to not do anything at all? What are you doing - daily?Are your actions progressive or destructive? Women were not created to bring home the bacon, fry it up in a pan, and never let you forget your a man. What is there left for you to do? Look around. Man has become lazy. Children are raising themselves. They have little to no respect for their mothers because the mothers had no respect for themselves when doing things out of order like laying down with you when you had no intentions of doing what's right. If you plan to turn things around, start with your reflection.


Thursday, August 21, 2014

There Is An Order

It is the reason that the theory of evolution is ludicrous. There is an order to everything. God did not take something that was void and out of order to create more disorder. An explosion doesn't put things in place. Explosions don't separate the heavens and the earth, placing the water where it needs to be so aquatic animals have a place, trees standing upright where birds and squirrels have a place, placing man in a place where all is provided for him (Genesis 1 AMP). Explosions cause disorder.

Understand that anything that is a God idea has a constructive function, is decent, in order and is good (1 Corinthians 14:40 AMP). Marriage is a God idea. The function of 2 people working together for a place to be established for their comfort and for the procreation of more just like those 2 people is an order that should not be disturbed. It works. There is no reason to fix something that has been working well for centuries. Stop picking at it and tweaking it. Its perfect.

Who is it that picks on a marriage? Too many to mention. Just know when everyone has such good advice to bestow upon your beginning relationship, sift through it all. People, whether they believe that Jesus is Lord or not, have all sorts of intentions for giving unwanted or unsolicited advice. Working in a senior community, I looked forward to my first day and continued to be excited about my job for little over a year. I expected for these elderly people to bestow upon me their wisdom and knowledge that brought them thus far and for all of the years they continued to thrive...even with their spouses. It didn't happen. The wisdom I received from them, was God placing me at the right place at the right time. I believed that golden years was aptly named for the retired citizen to enjoy the fruits of their labor. To smile and smell the roses. Instead, the crotchety attitudes or the reclusive behavior had a root system stemming from being angry because the spouse passed away before them, having a better understanding of life and physically unable to do anything about it, and adult children slowly taking away their independence for their own safety, senility, delusional from dementia, and just plain scared. If any of them shared some life skills would they enjoy these last years any better then they do?

Tweaking a marriage is a little different. Its a personal preference and also something to wonder if the person has the elevator going all the way to the top floor. This character has a great idea that seems harmless to try and then takes that harmless idea to a whole other kind of level without considering the other person. Adding someone else into the relationship will never, ever, work! Adding more children when the other has had enough isn't the best idea either. Moving to the other side of the country or to another country because the jobs are plentiful or the money is better is switching the love from each other into materials...especially without asking the architect of it all.... its a recipe for disaster.

I mentioned how much I like synchronized dancing and when the dancers flow effortlessly - its even better. Here is a couple I originally introduced in The Kingdom Living Blog. The entry is entitled, You'll Never Feel Happy.... It is the lyrics to the song they are dancing to. The movement of this couple almost puts me to tears because its the plan set to music. There is an order that creates such artistry - its amazing to watch.  I couldn't decide which video to use to express what I am trying to convey. Both pieces are amazing because of their union and agreement to keep the order of their marriage. Notice in the last video, the couples at the end aren't married. Do you see a difference in how they dance? Also notice, they don't finish the entire piece either.

Arguing is disorder (2 Timothy 2:23 AMP). It is one person trying to win the other person over to his/her side. It continues because of the immaturity in not understanding the discord an argument can bring (James 4:1 AMP). It also shows what the other person is not willing to do: listen and /or appease the situation. In a ministry, where I used to attend, I learned whenever stepping into a new task, pray. The next lesson was whenever going to work having to deal with all sorts of personalities, pray. The final lesson was noticing the difference in the peaceful existence when prayer was implemented as opposed to when it wasn't. There was a vast difference and one I will never be without. This cannot be any different when married. Your spouse, soon to be spouse, or the both of you will have to go outside of the house to work, or shop, or go to school, or whatever it is and other people will be involved. To keep the order and peace that Jesus has given to us, do the thing that Christians know to do best. Pray.


Wednesday, August 20, 2014

Scary Family

We all have them. What used to be called "the black sheep" (the rebel) has now turned into a freaking herd! Are you the only normal one and is it something that should be introduced to your intended right from the gate? Think this one through - seriously! Its like that sitcom from the 1960's, The Munsters. They had that one regular looking niece, yet she never saw what everyone else did.

I wrote an entry to this blog a few years ago entitled, Slim Pickin's. In it, I described for the one hoping to be married, not to feel desperate but encouraged because God is doing what only He can do. He moves the mooches, gold diggers, slackers, hood rats, hoochie-mamas, clowns, and freaks out of the way for you to see the true one that is equally yoked with you. Its a wonderful thing - that is, unless you realize that you have a moocher or a freak because it is your equivalence (2 Corinthians 6:14 AMP). Its something to work on if you don't wish to spend the rest of your life with such a person - clean up your own character (Haggai 1:5-7 AMP).

The scariest of families aren't the ones that allow for you to see their "dirty laundry" off the bat. They wait to see if you can tolerate bits and pieces. If you can accept that then they will allow you to see a little bit more. If that doesn't phase you, some will show you the whole sha-bang. The question is, why didn't you take off running like you were on fire? Why are you still there looking to see what else they have to show? Aren't you the one calling the victim names in a horror flick for being so curious? Don't you call the girl stupid for having weak ankles when its time to run in those thriller movies? You're the one telling the black guy not to open the door, knowing he is the first to be killed. Why are you waiting to see what comes of a relationship when the warning is staring you in the face (Proverbs 3 AMP)?

There was a couple that had been dating for years before they decided that they need to be married. When
they made the decision, they also made plans for their future. One of the things that was in the plan - children. She wasn't really interested in having children but for him, she would make the sacrifice. They then discussed how to raise their children and what would be the best schools for them. One of the things he brought up was his own childhood. He didn't like the rules his mother enforced upon him for whatever her reasons were - he promised he would never do those things to his child. She asked what were they. He proceeded to tell her the horrors he went through. He was forced to quit high school to get a job to help support the family when his parents divorced. He also remembered when he was punished, his mother spanked him for the things he did and what was in his mind to do later on. She gasped at hearing all that he told her and they vowed never to do this to their children. Fast forward: 5 years later, the couple had 3 sons. She recognized some tendencies her husband had when it came time to discipline them. Though she tried to speak to him about being excessive, his rebuttal was, "you never had brothers, this is how a man raises men. You wouldn't understand." He continued with his way as she began regretting her choice of husband material.

I have not studied human behavior all of my life. With that disclaimer, if asked where this sort of behavior comes from, I am sure there would be a litany of answers. Personally, I believe families that have become like this stems from selfishness (Philippians 2:3 AMP). Whether its a man who refuses to marry because he doesn't want to lose half of all that he has built for himself or someone who has an inheritance and doesn't share any of it - the outcome is never good (Luke 6:45 AMP). That behavior is seed which when planted that harvest would be bitter with an outcome that has much to do with the characteristics of the enemy (John 10:10 AMP). Its funny how that seed has the same result as sin.

Truthfully, the majority of this blog has much to do with being tricked in or into relationships. Along in that same vein, you have to admit, in order for you to be tricked you weren't really paying much attention. So, if we are still being truthful, unless you completely read many of these entries, your bible, and/or be a ready listener to God's voice, you were heading down the trail of being tricked no matter what. Seriously, there would be no one to blame but yourself. Disregarding this truth can also send you down another path you will eventually regret as well (James 1:22 KJV).

This is how one rebel is turned into a whole herd - disregarding the warning signs. He/she doesn't think any thing they do is wrong. When Lot's daughters were leaving Sodom and Gomorrah, why did they believe the solution to their dilemma was to have sex with their father (Genesis 19:31-35 AMP)? The result of their decision is the reason why the Middle East is fighting to this day. That's a whole country! They are all family!!!

About a scary family, prayer changes things. Know that if you walk into a situation willingly, believing God will make the necessary changes, it will take faith and patience (James 1:4 AMP). Moses was afraid and stuttered when he spoke, yet he was able to lead the children of Israel from Pharaoh. Now, remember how the children of Israel was appreciative of Moses' efforts. Recall how long before they reached the promise land. Notice their reaction when they were fed from heaven. Eventually, we (the righteousness of God through Christ Jesus) got it right.... do you see that? Do you really need to go through all of that - again?

Thursday, August 14, 2014

Not Your Type?

Is there such a thing for a Christian to have a type? You know what I mean? We follow Christ. He tells us that we walk in the Spirit so not to fulfill the lust of the flesh (Galatians 5:16 AMP). Its impossible to please God without faith and the definition of such a thing is believing before we have the evidence of it (Hebrew 11:6 AMP). It would then have to come down to, what are you believing God for? Are you asking for what you can have with the outward appearance or the true heart and soul of a person from the inward which only God can see (1 Samuel 16:7 AMP)?

As I have written before, I look at detective and court shows. When the evidence is compiled, the detectives look at patterns and things that are common about the suspect. When they see that the victims all have the same build, hair color, and social status, they derive that the culprit has a type. This information keeps them from other factors that could be distracting in catching the suspect. There is a purpose in what they are doing. What's our purpose in having a type?

The latest thing for some young women, and its been this way for awhile, is the man has to have money and its not bad if he were over 6 feet. I recall when I was in high school and heard this description for the first time, it was a little baffling as I waited for other criteria that could be rewarded with her company. Nope, that was it!!! In my community there were also those that specifically looked for lighter complected men with curly hair while others liked the darker complexion but he had to have bowed legs. Why, I would ask. And she would reply, "Because its just sexy." Really? Eh, whatever floats your boat.

I was thinking if I had one - a type. Should I compare the guys I liked when I was in high school, or
after I got my divorce? How would I know? I dated my ex when I was a teenager and married him in my early 20's. We stayed married for awhile and I haven't really dated since the divorce. So what would be my type and how could I find this out? My father has a light complexion and curly to straight hair. He was educated, plan oriented, and calm for the most part. Would I compare the person I am interested in to my dad? We have been doing this for years. Is it because of our psychological education or are we really attracted to our parents in some ick, disgusting way that we would marry people like them? My ex was dark complected with a fly by the seat of his pants behavior for planning. What was I thinking?

Actually, I got tired of hearing women complain of the men they chose to be with. The men got what they wanted but the women sounded as if they got gypped. I didn't want that to be me. If a man can marry eye candy why can't a woman and be just as happy about it? I like a firm, chiseled jaw line and broad shoulders with defined arms. Let's see this in a celebrity. What's my type? Morris Chestnut, Shemar Moore, or Boris Kodjoe comes to mind. Nice, attractive looking men but I just couldn't get around not knowing the person. How could I pick out a type without finding who the person is? I can't, in fact its kind of disgusting thinking anyone could marry a person based upon the outward appearance.

I was reminded of this attractive man (even if in his own mind) that married a woman I assume he believed was gorgeous. They weren't married for very long. You see, shortly after the nuptials, she became pregnant. When she had the baby, the husband was upset because the baby wasn't as cute as the couple. He believed that she cheated on him and needed to have a DNA test to see if his wife was telling him the truth. He is the father. Shocked, I assume, he couldn't understand what happened. She finally revealed that early on she had plastic surgery so she could feel good about herself. He sued her for a divorce. His reasoning: he married her under false pretenses. I never heard of such a thing! How could he? She was the same person he courted, the same person he spoke sweet nothings to, the same person he devoted himself to when they spoke their vows in front of friends, family, and God. So why didn't any of those things matter when he sees a picture of her former self. She wasn't his type? But she was...so, why?

A different case where a man marries his high school sweetheart. They have children and for the most part they seem happy. One morning, while his wife was in the bathroom, he knocks on the door for her to let him in. She was on the toilet and asked for him to wait. He didn't think he needed to seeing they were married and shouldn't have any secrets. Because she took too long to open the door, he took a hammer and destroyed the door handle, washed his hands and left with the door and his wife's mouth hanging wide open. This was the beginnings of several violent events that she had no clue he was like when they married and it eventually took a toll on the marriage. They divorced. Fast forward: He gets remarried. Never believing he ever had a problem, his wife soon discovers that her husband isn't what he claimed to be. One day her husband locked his keys in the car and couldn't get into the house. He calls his wife to come home from whatever she was doing to open the door so he could get the extra set of keys. Having been exasperated with her husband in the past, she tells him, he has to do the best with whatever he has until she gets there. She planned to finish what she set out to do for the day. Instead of him waiting, he finds a hammer in the back of his truck and breaks off the handle to the front door of their house to retrieve the extra set of keys. The door and his wife's mouth was left hung open. He definitely has a type because he's still alive!

I wonder, when friends and family decide to be that special match maker because they believe they know the type that would just be perfect, let me warn you, unless you know every nuance of your friend, family member, or co-worker, please keep your self proclaimed skills to yourself. There is only One that knows who is perfect for each and every one of us. He is the creator of all and knows all. When you change, and you will because we all do, God knows who the person will be that can adapt to those changes and who won't fare too well. Rest assured, He can be changing that person even as you are reading this and you didn't need to be around experiencing the transformation or maybe its you being transformed (Romans 8:28 AMP). I know He's not through with me yet.





Party Of One?

If you have never done it before, its not an undaunted feeling one has coming into an establishment just to have a quiet meal and then the hostess asks how many are with you. There are people in front of you, those behind you and are all listening to the answer that you more then likely don't wish to say, "Just one." Walking with a straight back to follow the hostess to a table with 4 chairs or to a large booth where you are the only one that will be taking up all of that space. If it is the first time, you are less likely to look around for a table that isn't in the middle of everything. But once you begin to enjoy your own company, getting a table next to the window won't be so difficult to do.

Which is the reason for this entry. I have written so much about the single person liking who he/she is without being engaged in a relationship first. I have asked the question several times, if it were you, would you like to be with you for the rest of your life? As crazy as that may sound, you are the only one to answer that question before you go off and make it someone else's trap or heaven on earth. Joyce Meyer, a well known evangelist, asks that question. She says, when God was letting her know that she needed to make some changes within herself. She replied that she makes declarations for change to get along with everyone and then they come home and all of those declarations are tossed out the window (paraphrasing). She finishes with, "you can never get away from you. Where ever you go, there you are." My question, so why not like who you are?

Have you ever been on a date and was seated in a nice restaurant, begin having a conversation with your date only to find that he/she is as boring as a gray wall? You try to find a topic that might peak the interest of the other and when there is nothing, you are left to wonder why are you even out with this person? What was it that attracted you to ask/accept the date? If you have ever been on one of those dates asking yourself such questions, try doing the same thing about yourself. Go on a date by yourself. Take the time to make the reservation and a plan as to what you are going to do. Get dressed as if you are trying to be impressive. Get to the restaurant on time. Feeling a little silly? Are you uncomfortable? Do you feel self conscious? If your answer is yes to any of those questions, then its you that hopes the other person will anchor the date on something for it to be interesting.

Society is full of those who try to get something for nothing. Some people have gotten away with their good looks for so long, they never had a reason to attempt with getting the inside together. A conversation on world events would be a hardship for them. Asking what was the last book they read would lead off in a direction of hems, haws, and inappropriate jokes. Anything to get your mind off of something of any intellectual value and back onto the physically attraction you both share. Its when Christians find the scripture, beauty fades. Its unfortunate that the enlightenment comes after vows have taken place. How could that happen? When did the listening of the good Shepherd stop (John 10:27 AMP)? Why would a believer be sucked into such an old scheme (2 Corinthians 5:17 AMP)?

The answers to those questions might come when you can figure out if you felt silly, uncomfortable, or self-conscious when going on a date by yourself. Why not see it as a faith test (1 Corinthians 9:27 AMP)? Do you really believe Jesus is Lord (Romans 10:9 AMP)? Do you really believe that greater is He that is in you then He that is in the world (1 John 4:4 AMP)? Do you really believe that He will never leave you nor forsake you (Deuteronomy 31:6 AMP)? Do you really believe that He created you fearfully and wonderfully (Psalm 139:14 KJV)? You see, if you really believed all of these things, you would enjoy your own company. If you really believed then what others are thinking about you sitting alone wouldn't bother you. Its time out in thinking that there is a better half of you somewhere out there. You are whole, sound, and complete, even before the other person comes to find you or you finding her.

Monday, July 21, 2014

Putting His Super On Your Superficial

Everybody has a type. We know what floats our boat - well, for the most part anyway. If its not the long hair its the curly locks. If not the lean, strong, silent type then its the muscle bound, wide grin with a sense of humor. We all know what we like and are attracted to. There's nothing the matter with that.

Its funny when certain people don't know they have a type. They never realize it until someone tells them how much the first girlfriend looks like the last one. Or is it that he never got over the first one and the uncanny resemblance is perfect for what he is trying to recapture or trying to get right what he did wrong the first time? Yeah, that's too deep for me. Yeesh!

Remember that guy I told you about a few years ago? He looked like my ex's twin. I saw him at my church and almost swallowed my tongue. I stared at him just to make sure it wasn't my actual ex. It wasn't, but he had the same build, the defined arms, his skin was so clear and chocolate like and...what am I doing?!! I tried to stay as far away from him as I could. I definitely don't need to repeat that in my life. In the name of Jesus, I am a new creation and will not repeat the same mistakes as I had done in the past. No kind of way, never, never, ever again!!!

Okay, how weird was it that he was at the college I graduated from when I happened to be there too? He sat right next to me and we struck up a conversation. Why oh why didn't I just run from the room screaming? I should have! He talked a good game though (so did the serpent). I learned that he's a born again believer and has a daughter he is raising all alone while trying to get his graduate degree. I listened and was sucked right into that vortex. But it wasn't the same, I said to myself. He's funny and we have so much in common. He asked for my number and the best time for him to call me. It was the mannerable thing to ask. Ah, manners!

So when he called, I wasn't thinking that it all could be a test for God to see if I was going to ask Him, trust Him, be mindful of Him as I have said I would do over and over again in prayers when I was looking for a job, wondering why its taking so long for me to find a decent car, and why all men were varying degrees of crap. I was thinking, "Yay! The dry spell is over and I am interesting to someone again! Thank you, Jesus!"

The conversation was riveting. It was so nice to speak to an adult that could have an input on so many different levels. He was drool and I was witty if I do say so myself. He laughed at the right points and I didn't have to explain who certain actors were or what movie they had been in to get to the original point. It wasn't at all exhausting talking to him. It was exciting and refreshing at the same time. Before we knew it, it was morning and we both had jobs to go to in a few hours. He asked if he could call me again that evening at the same time. If I wasn't so swooned by him asking if he could call me again, the answer would have escaped from my mouth before he could finish asking the question.


Ha-Ha, I am about to be asked out on a date! 
This had to be my thought at some point because I don't know what happened to me thinking as a practical woman with responsibilities, children to raise, and goals to complete. I already had enough on my plate and didn't need a relationship to distract me from the original plan. What was I feeling? Feeling? Does giddy feel the same as peace, synonymous with joy, or comparable to righteousness?
But he speaks like he has good sense. How often is that going to come along? 

That night, I got home in plenty of time to spend with my children, fix dinner, check homework, and have them off to bed. I cleaned the dishes, got myself comfortable all right before the time he indicated when he was going to call again. The phone rang. I waited a moment to answer. It was him. He asked about my day. 

Okay, hold on. Who does that anymore? Ask about someone else's day? Usually its all about them or how much more info can he find out to use against you at a later date. We are all about guarding ourselves for that not to happen again. He asked about my day? Com'mon, that's pretty cool.

I kept myself from sighing before giving him a quick response so not to be too boring. He then told me about his in the same manner. We chuckled, you know - all polite and stuff. Then he asked me that all encompassing question that's on most men's minds but they have been trained not to speak of it until well into the relationship when hearts are all involved and arguments have taken place. When the care of the other's feelings aren't paramount and you know you aren't going anywhere because there are smaller people incorporated into the mix. Its when things could be ugly and messy if you get an attitude. Its a question that was so far out of the scope of inappropriate, that I can't come up with a word that describes what I was feeling at the time; however the deafening silence spoke volumes. He asked me that very evening of our second conversation ever in life, never having any history between us other then those hours spent talking on the phone the night before, "what's your favorite sexual position?"

What-tah?!! What happened to the suave, debonair guy I was talking to the night before? Where did he go? I would have never wasted my time if I knew this guy was like that, why would I? With all that I have to do....and then I knew. Who did I listen to when I saw this guy the first time? Why did I continue to listen to him when I was in the college library? What happened to me acknowledging God in all of my ways? I would like to think that God is on my mind all of the time; yet, this man's first 5 minutes on the phone shocked me. Could it have gone another way? Sure could, only in the time when I was getting things together for his call, I was praying. As much as I enjoyed our first conversation and was looking forward to the next one, I know Who my source is and I didn't leave Him out of the equation. The past was a good teacher for me and won't be repeated. I was a little green then, its better now. I hope this helped someone.
   


Tuesday, July 1, 2014

Powerful Advertising

There are some things you would think is obvious not to do (Exodus 22:19 AMP). What I forget about is that there is a new generation that has sprouted out from being children into adulthood and have been taught from a media and social network that just weren't there when I was growing up. So some of the things I write, I direct towards them. Everything isn't common sense anymore and some have to pick up the rudimentary basics to realize the do's and don't in Christian dating have been written for our own good .

For instance, it has been told and some older men will let the young girls know today, if you advertise your
body by wearing scantily clad clothes, or taking pictures and posting them on social networks, you cannot be surprised with what sort of guy you get (Galatians 6:7 AMP). He will expect for you to put out the moment he sees you. Why? Because in his mind, he knows he was not the first to answer the advertisement. What ad? The picture you posted on Insta-gram, Facebook, and Twitter. Everything else read after that picture was a commercial. So there he is! Now what are you going to do with him? He is eager to see the goods in person. Why are you displeased with his behavior? Acting like an animal, is he? Yeah, they sort of do that when enticed and there is no conversation, boundaries or commitment established. You see, he has no reason to be disciplined because you have shown that you aren't either. You are equally yoked. Have fun!

I know it doesn't sound pretty. That's the point. You have to see things as practical life skills and use what God has given you for your benefit - His Word (Psalm 146:3 AMP)! Magazines sell because there are marketing geniuses that have established what the public would like to see more of. Smaller businesses have copied that sort of thinking to establish a miniature version of success. Vogue will not put a bum on the front cover of their magazine because they aren't trying to appeal to social workers and human service professionals. They use the biggest icon they can that has the look for a certain style of clothing. When the younger sect sees that cover, they buy the magazine and are sold on all of the ads to purchase the clothing (2 Timothy 3:6 AMP). The strategy worked and the industry is booming because of it. The industry crosses their fingers hoping that the younger generation never loses their ability to be easily manipulated by flashy colors and a famous name.

Look at the advertising in the bible. One of the biggest commercials of the Old Testament, and I have written about it before, is with David and Goliath. David was doing what he was called to do. He was out in the field tending to the sheep. Everyone else was in society listening to the gossip and reading the fliers that would be posted on every tree and door. They knew who Goliath was. He was described in great detail. The children of Israel hoped to never come against the Philistines because they knew they would be wiped out because of what they read on the flier and believed it was the truth. The army didn't have to fight with such a giant as their ally. All he had to do was roar; every other group that the Philistines had come against were turned into slaves or killed.

The time came. Saul knew what he had to do. He stood head and shoulders above all of the people in the village (1 Samuel 9:2;10:23 AMP). He was the king...and still with all of his experience, he didn't want to fight a giant either (1 Samuel 17:11 AMP). Enters David: he was coming to deliver his brothers their lunch and saw there was an uproar in the camp (1 Samuel 17:17-18 AMP). Notice that he inquired as to what was happening. He didn't know about the advertisement. He never knew there was a giant. What did David know about? He knew that he was serving an all powerful God that called Israel His own. Understanding that someone was opposing God is all David heard and he was ready for battle based on that small piece of information (1 Samuel 17:26 AMP). Trying to give David more then that served as waste. He spent time understanding who God is rather then entertaining the fear in a description of a giant who has never did anything for him, whom he has never seen fight, and has called God's children, dogs. David had righteous indignation and rightfully so (1 Samuel 17:34-36 AMP).

Here's the interesting thing about the ad. Goliath never fought anyone. He couldn't. He was not physically nor ergonomically able to wrestle much less battle. His height coupled with his weight made it impossible for him to stay on his feet for any long length of time. His armor only made him all the more heavier (1 Samuel 17:4-6 AMP). He couldn't carry his own shield and sword (1 Samuel 17:7 AMP). They were also huge and needed someone else to carry it for him. He was a walking billboard of fear and those that read the fliers believed it.

In terms of Christian dating, you have to consider the source. If you are all googlie-eyed for what you see in a selfie taken in a bathroom, then you deserve what you get (1 Corinthians 10:13 AMP). A selfie doesn't tell you if this person is kind, considerate, loves the Lord, or even knows who the Lord is. Why take those chances? Posting pictures of your butt, you must be advertising for booty-calls. Pouted lips and cleavage, what would a guy be thinking you are posting that ad for? Shots in your undies, what is he thinking now? You are advertising impatience and someone who is just as impatient will be trying to meet you. You won't like the out come of that. Do you think his mind is on Jesus after seeing your bathroom shot? Was yours? Really (2 Timothy 3:1-5 AMP)?!!

Monday, May 19, 2014

Understanding Her Anger

Its been a long time since she has been asked on a date, she has been handling the baggage of being rejected in the past and has been patient to be found....well. It took you seemingly forever to grow up and now she doesn't know whether she wants to be bothered with ever being married. Should you just throw up your hands and walk away? Would you throw up your hands if you knew you had treasure in a chest but no key to open the lock (Hebrews 11:6 AMP)? Why would she be different?

I just started thinking about this; listening to women as they express themselves on a myriad of matters. I then had to take that information and put it into perspective based on whether this was coming from a Christian woman knowing that Jesus is Lord and for patience to have her perfect work as opposed to a woman not knowing the Lord and allowing for her flesh to speak for her. What? Don't we all do that? Wouldn't a man do that if he were speaking to a woman he was interested in? Wait! I meant a Christian man whose heart and mind is on the Lord and how he could be pleasing unto Him (Mark 12:30 AMP)? Too much to do? If so, then women will always be confusing to you (1 Corinthians 14:33 KJV).

Guys, you have to humble yourself. Let's be as plain as possible. YOU need help. Marinade in that for a minute. Now, for some reason, women have it in their minds that in order for them to be married, they have
to trick you into believing that you are helping them. Then throughout the marriage they listen to a bunch of sillier women cackling about how she has to keep tricking you in believing every brilliant idea she has, you must think its yours (2 Timothy 3:5-7 AMP). Knowing it isn't, you like the idea that she thinks it is and you walk around with this false sense of her having even more respect for you. Hey...WAKE UP!!! Its a lie!!! What's going to happen is, she is going to get tired of doing that. She is going to see that you know what the truth is and she is going to call you out on it. The love that you used to have for her has dripped away a long time ago and with her allowing for the truth to finally be seen, you both will see the damage this generational lie has actually done.

That's right, generations! How many times have you heard the sermons of generational curses? We all can think of the crap that's happened to our families over the decades. While you heard the sermon and stood over your family or on your knees thanking God for delivering you and yours from all of that mess, only for you to get it dumped right back when allowing for the matters that has been accepted in the church, Its no wonder why she's angry, your stumped, and the pastor says stuff like,"the Lord works in mysterious ways." What are the matters that's been accepted in the church? Well, let's just list them and see if you have welcomed them into your home, life style, preached on, or taught about:

1. To get what you want, make him believe its his idea.
2. Squeeze out a tear and a man's heart will melt.
3. Cook him his favorite meal and then ask for what you want.
4. Make him jealous by letting him believe someone else is interested in you.
5. Get all dolled up and walk around him as if you don't see him until he notices you.
6. Wear his favorite color whether you like it or not.
7. Act as if you are in distress so he can be your hero.
8. Find what his favorite things are so when in conversation you can pretend that you like those things too.
9. Dress down so he knows he can lift you up.
10. Dress up so he knows what you expect from him.

Can you see this? These are the things women have done for years. These are the things mothers have taught their daughters for generations. These things are deceptive. These things allow the enemy to have access to everything in your house and he maintains this access because of every lesson that is given to another generation is laced with deception (Ephesians 4:26-27 KJV). It is no wonder that pretense breeds contempt. Of course, she is going to be angry. She has every reason to be emotional 8 to 12 times a day and not know why. Your peace is going to be troubled. Its supposed to be.

So yeah, she might be a little anxious (she has to work that out) wondering how long its going to take for you to hear God to find her. And you might be wondering what's the matter with you for not be married yet. Just know that just like you got crap to clean up, so does she. That harvest God is looking for has to be without spot or wrinkle (Ephesians 5:26-28 AMP). While there are ministries still teaching some of this foolishness, God is dealing with each us so collectively WE can be pure.