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Showing posts from 2014

Hark The Herald Angels Sing....

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This is the time of year when some of us single people start making assessments of our lives and wonder if there will ever be the right person to come along or be presented to. Its a time when we are invited to family gatherings to exchange gifts. Its a time when we should be happy, but during those family gatherings, whether you make those self actualizing assessments or not, your family has and will undoubtedly know what's best for you when they think you don't. The questions of if you will ever marry anyone or will Nana ever have any great grand children or did you meet Mrs. Wilson's daughter/son down the road? She/he's back in town and is single too. Or the actual "fix-up" was invited to spend the night just to see what you look like in the morning and how you deal with your day. Ah, family.... you didn't design them and they won't allow you to redesign them either - no matter how much you plead. Yet, if they were any different then who they are,

Avoiding the Geezers and Skeezers

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...unless that's what you are attracted to. If so, please disregard and check back next week. For everyone else of the faith, listen closely. A couple of years ago, I wrote an entry entitled, Slim Pick'ns ?. The encouragement was pouring out of it for the reader to know, as time marches on and the selection looks less and less, to rejoice. Its the broad way that leads to destruction. Meaning, because there is so much to choose from, if one relationship doesn't work out, you would always be wondering, "what if it was her/him and I missed out on my blessing." Those entertained suggestions would be a lack of faith and if continued to be entertained by them, regret would gain access ( James 1:6 AMP ). With this little bit of explanation, you can see where the destruction comes in and how it can spill over into everything. Now, the side note: do you also see how temptation works? The enemy does his job. You are responsible to do yours ( 1 Peter 1:16 AMP ). A lack

The Gush Versus The Woo (Ladies)

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It is normal to ask a man, if he hasn't already told you, what it was that attracted him to you. Some might speak in a riddle thinking he is cute, a poem, or directly. Whichever the way he chooses, the intention is still the same: flattery and distraction. Now let that settle for a moment, knowing who you are in Christ. First, this is for the ladies, though the guys are welcome to continue on reading. Second, I know this is going to mess up many of men and the rap they have been using for years; nevertheless, if you continue to read this, you will realize how much sense it makes and why neither you or him has been getting anywhere with your relationship. Flattery is what we all like to hear and while they are talking, depending on whether you are mature enough, we look into their eyes and for mannerisms to see if the guy with all of his lovely language is being sincere or is his plan less then honorable ( Matthew 7:17-19 AMP ). Distraction takes the focus off of the good inten

Preparation

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I used to be a seamstress when I was in college trying to make ends meet. I learned that it wasn't the garment I was really trying to sell but all of the small details that made the garment better then what a customer could purchase off the rack. Not only was it custom fitted, it had closed or french seams so the construction of the garment was durable even in the wash. I would add expensive buttons and leather accents when needed. The design would be simple enough but with all of the details, it made the customer come back to see what else I created. That's business. Its what all business owners do to maintain a brand ( Proverbs 6:9-11 AMP ). Should this be any different in a marriage or establishing a relationship for marriage? We already discussed thoroughly how the dating process is more like an interview then anything else. We know that if you become distracted with the dress to impress and all of the flattering words, you lose sight of the whole purpose for the date - m

Just To Be Close

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I think we all have a need to be loved and/or wanted. It seems to be basic and really understandable. Have couples come together with this understanding? Have they fared well? Was God pleased when these two met each other; one hoping to be needed and the other wanting to be loved? Don't those 2 words just euphemise desperation?   The Lord is My Shepherd, I shall not want ...., it is written. My God supplies all of my needs according to His riches in glory...., is is written . ...whatever state you are in, be content... it is written. So how then could God be pleased or the couple do well in the relationship if there is no faith in what God said is already yours in Him? Now love, that's a different matter altogether. Why would a Christian believe he/she isn't loved? I counseled such a person and I couldn't understand why she would say such a thing. I didn't have anything at the ready for her because I assumed if you claim to be a Christian, of course you have

Heads of State and Corporations

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It was an episode of the original Law and Order television series (season 10, episode 10) that had me thinking about what men are doing with the nuclear family and why they should care. In the episode there were these teenagers that were minding their own business when an older teen student of the same school began bullying one of the other children to the point of killing him. When the story unfolds, it is discovered that the father was aware of what his son was doing all along. From the illegal weapons he assisted in getting for his son to allowing his son to go in the basement and practice terrorist moves on an old mannequin. Yet when it came time to confess to murder, the father had many excuses and was definitely not about to take the blame for the actions of his son. It was clear to everyone else including the son, who took a plea deal of guilty. Eventually, the father did as well. In these last days, we can see the union of 2 people having children without first being marri

There Is An Order

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It is the reason that the theory of evolution is ludicrous. There is an order to everything. God did not take something that was void and out of order to create more disorder. An explosion doesn't put things in place. Explosions don't separate the heavens and the earth, placing the water where it needs to be so aquatic animals have a place, trees standing upright where birds and squirrels have a place, placing man in a place where all is provided for him ( Genesis 1 AMP ). Explosions cause disorder. Understand that anything that is a God idea has a constructive function, is decent, in order and is good ( 1 Corinthians 14:40 AMP ). Marriage is a God idea. The function of 2 people working together for a place to be established for their comfort and for the procreation of more just like those 2 people is an order that should not be disturbed. It works. There is no reason to fix something that has been working well for centuries. Stop picking at it and tweaking it. Its perfect.

Scary Family

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We all have them. What used to be called "the black sheep" (the rebel) has now turned into a freaking herd! Are you the only normal one and is it something that should be introduced to your intended right from the gate? Think this one through - seriously! Its like that sitcom from the 1960's, The Munsters. They had that one regular looking niece, yet she never saw what everyone else did. I wrote an entry to this blog a few years ago entitled, Slim Pickin's . In it, I described for the one hoping to be married, not to feel desperate but encouraged because God is doing what only He can do. He moves the mooches, gold diggers, slackers, hood rats, hoochie-mamas, clowns, and freaks out of the way for you to see the true one that is equally yoked with you. Its a wonderful thing - that is, unless you realize that you have a moocher or a freak because it is your equivalence ( 2 Corinthians 6:14 AMP ). Its something to work on if you don't wish to spend the rest of your

Not Your Type?

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Is there such a thing for a Christian to have a type? You know what I mean? We follow Christ. He tells us that we walk in the Spirit so not to fulfill the lust of the flesh ( Galatians 5:16 AMP ). Its impossible to please God without faith and the definition of such a thing is believing before we have the evidence of it ( Hebrew 11:6 AMP ). It would then have to come down to, what are you believing God for? Are you asking for what you can have with the outward appearance or the true heart and soul of a person from the inward which only God can see ( 1 Samuel 16:7 AMP )? As I have written before, I look at detective and court shows. When the evidence is compiled, the detectives look at patterns and things that are common about the suspect. When they see that the victims all have the same build, hair color, and social status, they derive that the culprit has a type. This information keeps them from other factors that could be distracting in catching the suspect. There is a purpose in

Party Of One?

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If you have never done it before, its not an undaunted feeling one has coming into an establishment just to have a quiet meal and then the hostess asks how many are with you. There are people in front of you, those behind you and are all listening to the answer that you more then likely don't wish to say, "Just one." Walking with a straight back to follow the hostess to a table with 4 chairs or to a large booth where you are the only one that will be taking up all of that space. If it is the first time, you are less likely to look around for a table that isn't in the middle of everything. But once you begin to enjoy your own company, getting a table next to the window won't be so difficult to do. Which is the reason for this entry. I have written so much about the single person liking who he/she is without being engaged in a relationship first. I have asked the question several times, if it were you, would you like to be with you for the rest of your life? As

Putting His Super On Your Superficial

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Everybody has a type. We know what floats our boat - well, for the most part anyway. If its not the long hair its the curly locks. If not the lean, strong, silent type then its the muscle bound, wide grin with a sense of humor. We all know what we like and are attracted to. There's nothing the matter with that. Its funny when certain people don't know they have a type. They never realize it until someone tells them how much the first girlfriend looks like the last one. Or is it that he never got over the first one and the uncanny resemblance is perfect for what he is trying to recapture or trying to get right what he did wrong the first time? Yeah, that's too deep for me. Yeesh! Remember that guy I told you about a few years ago? He looked like my ex's twin. I saw him at my church and almost swallowed my tongue. I stared at him just to make sure it wasn't my actual ex. It wasn't, but he had the same build, the defined arms, his skin was so clear and chocol

Powerful Advertising

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There are some things you would think is obvious not to do ( Exodus 22:19 AMP ). What I forget about is that there is a new generation that has sprouted out from being children into adulthood and have been taught from a media and social network that just weren't there when I was growing up. So some of the things I write, I direct towards them. Everything isn't common sense anymore and some have to pick up the rudimentary basics to realize the do's and don't in Christian dating have been written for our own good . For instance, it has been told and some older men will let the young girls know today, if you advertise your body by wearing scantily clad clothes, or taking pictures and posting them on social networks, you cannot be surprised with what sort of guy you get ( Galatians 6:7 AMP ). He will expect for you to put out the moment he sees you. Why? Because in his mind, he knows he was not the first to answer the advertisement. What ad? The picture you posted on Ins

Understanding Her Anger

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Its been a long time since she has been asked on a date, she has been handling the baggage of being rejected in the past and has been patient to be found....well. It took you seemingly forever to grow up and now she doesn't know whether she wants to be bothered with ever being married. Should you just throw up your hands and walk away? Would you throw up your hands if you knew you had treasure in a chest but no key to open the lock ( Hebrews 11:6 AMP )? Why would she be different? I just started thinking about this; listening to women as they express themselves on a myriad of matters. I then had to take that information and put it into perspective based on whether this was coming from a Christian woman knowing that Jesus is Lord and for patience to have her perfect work as opposed to a woman not knowing the Lord and allowing for her flesh to speak for her. What? Don't we all do that? Wouldn't a man do that if he were speaking to a woman he was interested in? Wait! I me