Putting His Super On Your Superficial
Its funny when certain people don't know they have a type. They never realize it until someone tells them how much the first girlfriend looks like the last one. Or is it that he never got over the first one and the uncanny resemblance is perfect for what he is trying to recapture or trying to get right what he did wrong the first time? Yeah, that's too deep for me. Yeesh!
Remember that guy I told you about a few years ago? He looked like my ex's twin. I saw him at my church and almost swallowed my tongue. I stared at him just to make sure it wasn't my actual ex. It wasn't, but he had the same build, the defined arms, his skin was so clear and chocolate like and...what am I doing?!! I tried to stay as far away from him as I could. I definitely don't need to repeat that in my life. In the name of Jesus, I am a new creation and will not repeat the same mistakes as I had done in the past. No kind of way, never, never, ever again!!!
Okay, how weird was it that he was at the college I graduated from when I happened to be there too? He sat right next to me and we struck up a conversation. Why oh why didn't I just run from the room screaming? I should have! He talked a good game though (so did the serpent). I learned that he's a born again believer and has a daughter he is raising all alone while trying to get his graduate degree. I listened and was sucked right into that vortex. But it wasn't the same, I said to myself. He's funny and we have so much in common. He asked for my number and the best time for him to call me. It was the mannerable thing to ask. Ah, manners!
So when he called, I wasn't thinking that it all could be a test for God to see if I was going to ask Him, trust Him, be mindful of Him as I have said I would do over and over again in prayers when I was looking for a job, wondering why its taking so long for me to find a decent car, and why all men were varying degrees of crap. I was thinking, "Yay! The dry spell is over and I am interesting to someone again! Thank you, Jesus!"
The conversation was riveting. It was so nice to speak to an adult that could have an input on so many different levels. He was drool and I was witty if I do say so myself. He laughed at the right points and I didn't have to explain who certain actors were or what movie they had been in to get to the original point. It wasn't at all exhausting talking to him. It was exciting and refreshing at the same time. Before we knew it, it was morning and we both had jobs to go to in a few hours. He asked if he could call me again that evening at the same time. If I wasn't so swooned by him asking if he could call me again, the answer would have escaped from my mouth before he could finish asking the question.
Ha-Ha, I am about to be asked out on a date!
This had to be my thought at some point because I don't know what happened to me thinking as a practical woman with responsibilities, children to raise, and goals to complete. I already had enough on my plate and didn't need a relationship to distract me from the original plan. What was I feeling? Feeling? Does giddy feel the same as peace, synonymous with joy, or comparable to righteousness?
But he speaks like he has good sense. How often is that going to come along?
That night, I got home in plenty of time to spend with my children, fix dinner, check homework, and have them off to bed. I cleaned the dishes, got myself comfortable all right before the time he indicated when he was going to call again. The phone rang. I waited a moment to answer. It was him. He asked about my day.
Okay, hold on. Who does that anymore? Ask about someone else's day? Usually its all about them or how much more info can he find out to use against you at a later date. We are all about guarding ourselves for that not to happen again. He asked about my day? Com'mon, that's pretty cool.
I kept myself from sighing before giving him a quick response so not to be too boring. He then told me about his in the same manner. We chuckled, you know - all polite and stuff. Then he asked me that all encompassing question that's on most men's minds but they have been trained not to speak of it until well into the relationship when hearts are all involved and arguments have taken place. When the care of the other's feelings aren't paramount and you know you aren't going anywhere because there are smaller people incorporated into the mix. Its when things could be ugly and messy if you get an attitude. Its a question that was so far out of the scope of inappropriate, that I can't come up with a word that describes what I was feeling at the time; however the deafening silence spoke volumes. He asked me that very evening of our second conversation ever in life, never having any history between us other then those hours spent talking on the phone the night before, "what's your favorite sexual position?"
What-tah?!! What happened to the suave, debonair guy I was talking to the night before? Where did he go? I would have never wasted my time if I knew this guy was like that, why would I? With all that I have to do....and then I knew. Who did I listen to when I saw this guy the first time? Why did I continue to listen to him when I was in the college library? What happened to me acknowledging God in all of my ways? I would like to think that God is on my mind all of the time; yet, this man's first 5 minutes on the phone shocked me. Could it have gone another way? Sure could, only in the time when I was getting things together for his call, I was praying. As much as I enjoyed our first conversation and was looking forward to the next one, I know Who my source is and I didn't leave Him out of the equation. The past was a good teacher for me and won't be repeated. I was a little green then, its better now. I hope this helped someone.
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