There aren't to many reasons why people marry. There aren't too many reasons why people come to church to find the ideal person with whom they would like to spend the rest of their lives. There have been entirely too many people that has allowed their eyes to make that call rather than hearing what the calling (Spirit led) has to say. It is the last statement that should create interest to this new generation of believers so that any unwanted cycle in "the family" can stop right now (Matthew 7:15 AMP).
During the dating process, initially, eyes are all a twinkle and we do put on our best behavior; why this behavior isn't constant would be up to the willing participants of the date to see and make a quality decision afterward.
When I was in my late teens, I went on a date with this absolutely gorgeous man. I was elated that he not only found me attractive but was stammering in trying to get my phone number. He didn't know I was elated and the calmer I continued to stay the more nervous he became. I was intrigued. I did give him my phone number and we did go out on a date. To make a long story short - we went to the movies and I do recall the title but not one part of it did I see. He chose the movie and within 10 minutes was bored. He decided to get close and start talking (really). Now? Talking? The movie started already. I politely shushed him and gestured for him to look at the film. He in as much had the attitude of sucking his teeth, turned his body around back to the front and within 5 minutes of quiet turned back towards me and said, "I paid my money too, I should be able to talk if I want to." He then proceeded with questions to get to know me better (truly). I thought, "in a movie?" I knew that we were going to be shushed soon. He allowed me to choose the seats and I don't like sitting in the back row. "Com'mon", I said, getting up to leave, stepping over people and disrupting them even more than him talking during the film.
You would think that was the first and last date I went on with that character. Would that I could leave it at that but like I wrote before, he was absolutely gorgeous!!! Though some of those tingles became watered down after the movie incident, what I saw and what I knew to do didn't come to an agreement until weeks later.
With the practice of walking in the Spirit so not to adhere to the lust of the flesh (Galatians 5:16 KJV), we tend to be more mindful of doing what is right in spite of what may look good. God sees what we don't. It's why prayer is imperative and needs to be on a constant (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 AMP).
I was driving on a busy street and stopped at a traffic light. I was the first at at the cross walk. While waiting for the drivers on my right to make their left turn, there was this first driver who got my attention, inadvertently. We made eye contact and apparently had the same reaction as he drove past - slowly. Again, I was calm and made the distinct sound of "ooh-ooh" to myself. The light changed and I began to drive. Clearly, I heard the audible voice of the Lord say, "watch that flesh." What? I didn't turn around, yell out of my window, screaming, "come back! I'll have your child!" One little calm sound - it was a little gravel-ish down in my throat... hm.... now that I think about it....well, it does explain a few things.
When reacting to something that has nothing to do with being led of the Spirit of God, there are consequences to be faced (Romans 6;22-23 AMP). It is the explanation of tests, trials, and being out in the wilderness when you think it is the enemy coming to terrorize you - it is actually the ramifications of what you did, said, or thought that got you where you are. Obedience to Christ has its rewards. Succumbing to the impulses of the flesh has its consequences. God said you choose.
My children picked up the habit of saying, "I promise to God" whenever they were trying to express to each other that they were telling the truth. They have since stopped saying that knowing that God said to let your yay be yay and your nay be nay. Yet what I found interesting that no matter how wide eyed and innocent they looked or clearly stating specific facts, it was still necessary for them to say, I promise to God in order to get what they were asking for. They all having a fear of God, so they did learn to manipulate each other by saying that or did it to prove that because it was said it must be the truth? Clearly, the ignorance of my children back then was put to the test when they heard an adult use the same phrase and didn't complete the what he promised. The adult has consequences to be faced, is facing, or is coming out of. Know that when you know not to do something like lying, the consequences don't get easier to go through.
In the dating process we are also quick to hear certain things that we find appealing. The man's vision is always really nice especially when his goal is to make a certain salary. A woman who likes to cook and keep her man pleased curls the toes of most whose intent in finding his good thing; yet will it overshadow testing every voice to see if it is of God (1 John 4:1-3 AMP)? Like what is written earlier, everyone puts on an impressive front to get what the aim is for. Look at the job interviews you have gone on, seen others go through, and may have conducting some yourself. They dressed in the right clothes, had the right answers and on the job they know that there is a probation period,. But if the interviewer doesn't go and do the homework of following up on the references, what the job performance was on the last position and how the workers faired with the applicant - then the product that is produced is the fault of the interviewer.
There is a man in my place of employment. He is mild mannered and is married with children. He gets along seemingly with everyone and is always smiling. Every once in awhile when I speak to him he might show tiny tendencies where the job is irritating him; however his complaints are few. Every once in awhile when I take a walk, I see him in the back of the building talking to an attractive woman or sitting on one of the park benches with some other female. He has walked another young woman to her car and has come extremely close to the face of some other woman different from the previous three. None of these women is his wife. He knows that his fellow co-workers see him, and it doesn't detour him from changing his behavior. What is his wife thinking while she is working? Is she concerned that her husband might be seeing others or does she believe that the mild mannered- ness in him is on a constant?
We as Christians are suppose to not only see what others do but go beyond that (Colossians 1:8-10 AMP). This can only come through relationship with Jesus. A man is only willing to listen to his wife because of the Holy Spirit on the inside telling him and he sought Wisdom early. A novice of Christ will remember Genesis when Adam listened to his wife and the fall of man occurred. Women have to look beyond the 6 figured salary and see why this man decided to make you his wife before taking the vows or accepting the proposal. If that money overshadows the obvious flaws in him, then you have the reward that the love of money brings - evil. Of course we can sugar coat the situation and state that we all have flaws. And we did - its just that the old has passed away and behold all things have become a new. So as we strive for perfection we state the positive and not the past or that we still abide in mistakes (1 Thessalonians 5:15 NIV).