Warts And All
The group the question was asked is full of outspoken members. It wasn't surprising, seeing that the group is made up of mostly men, there were some hours that passed before answered. I specifically asked for scripture references seeing that an opinion would not be of any interest to me. Why that request, at first was disregarded, was also not surprising. However, I was surprised for a pastor to state that the love of both people was obvious and unnecessary to mention in the vows. Sigh.
A young, single man interested in marriage told me that he has a particular mental list of his perfect woman. He divulged that list to me. I noticed how many of the items on his list were superficial; though being a Christian and living the Christian life style were deemed as very important to him. He also stated that he is a friend to a woman that holds most of the items on his list but he does not find her attractive. He continued, trying not to be as shallow as it all sounded, just couldn't see himself with her and therefore closed the matter with one of the best friendships he has ever had. Sigh.
There was a man who thought he married the woman of his dreams. She was elated that he loved her so much. They eventually married and she bore 3 children for him. After some time he voiced his dissatisfaction with how ugly his children looked. His wife divulged some information she thought would have not been necessary to talk about. She told him of the many plastic surgeries she had because she was never secure with her looks. She was still a little apprehensive until she met and married her husband. With this information, the man divorced his wife based on concealing pertinent facts and that his children were too ugly to be his. Sigh.
Keenan Ivory Wayans starred in a movie back in the 80's, I'm Gonna Get You Sucka. It was just hysterical! Nevertheless, the entry reminded me of the part when he hooked up with a young lady after he put his moves on her. There they were in the hotel room, but before getting to do "the deed", she had to ready herself for bed. That meant taking off her wig, Underneath she had one strand of hair with a bow attached to it. She pulled out the implants that filled her bra and panties. Then, telling her co-star that she was almost ready and he looking as if watching a horror show, she takes off her prosthetic leg. Once every artificial added piece was removed to make her look like his desires, she hopped over in his direction with flattering words so they can finish what they started. He had already taken off. It was a movie...not real...still making a point. Where is the love?
As I waited for the members to this Christian group to answer the question, I found there was a lull because I would not accept anything but the truth. While one said he studied in depth about the marital vows and the importance for the woman to state that she would be obedient to the husband, it was minimized the importance for the same be true of the men in loving the wife. You see, the boys will be boys has infiltrated the church. Over the years, women have learned just to be grateful for being married no matter what she has to go through while in the marriage. Still, the question was supposed to challenge the clergy in stating where did these vows come from. If not from the bible, then what good are they?
The answer is fear; however, that is a separate topic all by itself. The matter at hand that without God, there is no purpose for marriage other than to have legal sex. If he doesn't profess and exemplify this love before marriage, why would she agree to be his wife? If a man wanted to test her to see if she is the one anointed to be a wife, then use that test show her love or not. What is her reaction? If you don't show her what Christ has done for the church, she should withdraw from you because your actions are not of God. God is love. If you don't know Him, you CANNOT love her as Christ loves the church. This is why it took so long for this very basic question to be answered. The question: Why won't a man include loving her as Christ loves the church in the wedding vows? The answer: Because he just doesn't want to. Boys will be boys.
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