I haven't quite figured out yet why people stay in a place where they are no longer needed, wanted or loved. It is a conundrum and must be dealt with so that each and everyone of us in Christ can be redirected to those relationships that do us the most good and stayed on the plain path of righteousness.
I worked in a place where the owner of the business finds that in order for me to remain I would have to take additional classes for him to keep his license and keep operational. I resented his request for me to go back to school being an excellent employee of a complete year and upon hire, it seemed my degree and experience was more than enough. Once I graduated (2 years prior from obtaining this job) I wasn't all that eager to go back. He said nothing else about it and neither did I. A month later my administrative assistant tells me that the owner is interviewing for my job. I confronted him and he confirmed the rumor. He said that because I didn't give him a clear indication of returning back to school, he had to do whatever he needed to stay in business. I figured if he liked my work ethic and how much money I saved him I would have thought he would do whatever he needed to keep me, convince me to go back to school, convince me how it would also be beneficial for me, sweeten the pot, encourage with a raise - something! Without him doing any of these things and being a coward as to how I was being pushed out, I no longer desired to be in his company. I resigned.
While some would have not done what I did because well, a paycheck is a paycheck; there is a principle that must be adhered to not just when attending church but in our everyday lives: if you are not received, cast the dust off and move on (Mark 6:10-12 AMP). This is what Jesus said to His disciples before they left to preach the Word throughout the land. The pearls that I gave this employer be it retraining the staff, adjusting the menu, taking much of the responsibility for many tasks off of him and crunching the numbers of his budget to save him money, he didn't recognize as being profitable. Then he would no longer be the fool if I stayed. That title would have been mine. This analogy would be true for any relationship, but for this, we are referring to those single Christians who are dating for the purpose of marriage.
Desperate people who don't believe God for everything can become very manipulative and controlling. This behavior is no longer isolated to men alone. With the increase of single mothers trying to do it all, those sons have a deficiency not knowing how to be men but "good boys" and will, if not resentful of their mothers, find a woman strong like his mother to continue to have the title of a "good boy." A good example of this is Jon and Kate Gosselin. Though Jon now while separated paints a completely different picture than Kate, there is no quandry when viewing how those girls treat their brothers. Should we wonder where they got that behavior from? The smacks men give their wives cannot be euphemised as "love taps" but they are when the wife does the elbow in the gut to her husband. I find that interesting but how interesting will it be when those little girls grow up and not learn the enormous lesson that is before us all when viewing that reality show?
We all know that God hates divorce and when we accept or decide to invite someone on a date for the purpose of marriage, there is much to consider and be able to see more than the beauty or charming person that stands before for the purpose to initially impress. If you sense that you aren't even well liked, don't let the brick have to be thrown before separating yourself from the individual or group. Even in marriage it is written if the spouse desires a divorce don't force the spouse to stay. If God doesn't force Himself on anyone, why would we?
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