There used to be a time where dates were orchestrated through parents having invested much time in their children and viewed as a precious commodity. Parents spoke to other insightful parents to see what were the values of the family before even considering the children to meet each other much less date. If the parents didn't agree instead of feuding they did not speak at all. This would have been the civil thing to do; however many did feud hence the story of Romeo and Juliet, the Hatfields and the McCoys, and so forth and so on.
Times have since changed with the scripture stating there will be mothers against daughters and fathers against sons (Luke 12:53 AMP); children do as they please without wise counsel. Dating has become a prelude to sex rather than prospects to marriage which, for a Christian, is the purpose for dating.
When going to a movie, play, or show, we tend to look to be entertained. Our concentration is on what the tickets were purchased for. To go on a date has become a point to attend one of those venues followed by or done before hand, a meal. Usually, and for Christians, it is better for the man to pay for this, but he comes away not only being slightly financially depleted but from the 3-4 hours of dating his information that he got about the female of his desires is limited to a mere hour and thirty minutes of possible conversation.You see, there is no talking during the entertainment portion of the date. Therefore, I question the purpose of it other than to delude the female of the real purpose; Christian or otherwise.
To make myself clear, I dated a man of whom I thought the relationship was serious enough to consider marriage. We had been on many dates and discussed a plethora of matters by which we were both in agreement. He would often come to my place of employment where we would have lunch together. There was this one particular time he came to ask to borrow money until his next payday where he would immediately pay me back. I never dated anyone who asked me for money and it just went against the core of my being. I told him no. He was surprised and though I didn't plan to be entertained I continued to watch the show he displayed before me. What was a simple matter of disagreement changed into a detailed list of every date we went on and how much money he spent on me. He was looking to get a return on his investment and expected it immediately. Who would have thought to hear such a request? Being shocked, could the voice of the Lord be heard in the midst of this? Sons of God would have heard His voice clearly; children would react from what was being displayed. Yet, knowing the difference would be a different subject to write about entirely. So more about that later.
Though dating is up to the man to ask the woman of his desire for her time, these days those lines have blurred trying to make the biblical way archaic. Man ask women because it is up to him to find the good thing and obtain favor from the Lord (Proverbs 18:22 KJV). Women can make the attempt to convince the man that she is good but unless it is rhema to him, she becomes "good" for a night (a quickie) and that's not good. Reason being, an aggressive woman for the purpose of dating, causes the roles to change. Should the man therefore be passive? If he is not willing to change his role, then there is conflict. It may not rise instantly, but it will arise.
In Song of Solomon the woman searches for her true love. That, not being, her role the villagers see her search as being evil and beat her(Song of Solomon 5:6-8 KJV). I can see why some women would view that verse as archaic; however in Revelation, the Lord refers returning back to your first love being Him (Revelation 2:4 AMP). Why would we search for anyone else? They that hunger and thirst after the Lord shall be filled(John 6:35 KJV). If she searches for the Lord, this will make her complete. This completion now makes her a good thing and ready to be found. However, a desperate search for any other man makes her lose her focus, she is then not where she should be and therefore the man she prayed for is not able to see where she is. She is in the wrong place at the wrong time. Understand that it all works together. There is an order in that we find our path and flow by the guide of the Holy Spirit.
We can listen to the Wisdom early while we can find or act on the desperation cries of emotion and lie in regret. Hearing a man list how much money he spent on the amount of dates he has been on with you is the Holy Spirit saying, "RUN!!!" Some women may believe he is her only chance of happiness and disregards the voice of Wisdom. It has happened too many times to count.
Archaic as it may be to have our parents be the matchmakers for us because even their noble purpose became unclear when padding the trousseau was involved to be exchanged by the parents and for the parents. For the love of money being the root of all evil (1 Timothy 6:10 KJV), the welfare of the children was secondary. But God changes not. Him being good and the Father of us all, have we lost sight of His matchmaking skills? You cannot bribe Him. You cannot get any better of a mate than who you portray yourself to be. The odds are consistently favorable with Him. Not even your best attempts to do it yourself could match His designs.