Monday, September 28, 2009


Before Michael Jackson used that word (history) for one of his CD sleeves, my mother was given that word by God in a manner that was a message in of itself. History is His story, His meaning Jesus. We know His history for it is what we have built our faith. He hid nothing yet the mystery The Word speaks of is the search for the Kingdom Life at the ready for those who believe (Mark 4:11 KJV).

I have to refer to that pastor I mentioned in previous posts who was teaching on his rules to Christian dating because he couldn't find such things in the scriptures. He said that those who are purposed in their heart to marry (paraphrasing) should be able to talk about their relationship history. Reason being, the intended should never be confronted  and shocked by someone stating intimate details of the past to make it seem as though it is current. Meaning, people get jealous and they tell one another. If these tales gets back to an ex (one that's been sexual) and it breaks up the current potential relationship or causes to have a 1 on 1 with mentioning scars or tattoos that one would only be able to see if the person were in the nude, how would the potential mate feel towards you? The pastor mentioned that the past relationships should be discussed because of children that have been birthed from these relationships.

I listened and though to some degree I had to agree with the pastor; however, there was something about that, that just bothered me. I had to pray.

Put yourself in the shoes of someone to receive an earful of a long tumultuous sexual history without marriage. The more you hear, would there be more questions? Or would it be the more you hear the more disgusted you would be? Would it be the more you hear, the more you wish you never started anything with the one dating? What is the outcome going to be? One really has to see that from all perspectives to understand that's a very personal, explicit prayer to the Lord before embarking on a tell all you can remember fest.

These days people do all sorts of things I wouldn't dare imagine much less desire to hear it said to me. I'd wonder if that desire would be a struggle for him not to return to. Could a man over look all of the men she was with in search for love? Could he understand the children by different fathers? Could he be fine with the past abortions, children taken by the state, or those adopted by other families? From those angles, it is a heavy load that no one should be able to carry . So why speak of it? Let the past be the past. God has forgiven you. Why would you need this person, whom you intend  to date (for the purpose of marriage) to forgive you too?

Actually, you don't . God has forgiven and doesn't condemn (Luke 6:37 KJV). Guilt from the past comes from insecurity which is euphemised fear. We already know there is no fear in God. So the decision is clear, isn't it?

That pastor is right. Just as Jesus didn't hold anything back from us, we follow Him. The Word tells us to draw nigh to Him and He will draw nigh to us (James 4:8 KJV). Jesus said they that hunger and thirst after righteousness shall be filled (Matthew 5:6 KJV). Therefore our faithfulness in church, studying the Word, applying it to our lives everyday is that close relationship in its full development. We got to know Him. We learned how to love because He first loved us. His story is easy to incorporate. It helps us to understand the need for Him.

The need is ever so much more necessary in Christian dating when one's past has not been dramatic as the other. To the immature Christian that listener will feel the burden placed heavily upon him/her. The speaker, whether mature or not  will sigh in relief. Maturity sighs because knowing there is no guilt. Immaturity sighs because the burden is no longer his but given to the listener to carry. This,  if you don't see it, is an orchestrated test for both parties. Only the mature in Christ will see if there is a future with the other.

The mature Christian will know that the burden is the Lord's (Psalms 55:22 KJV). Maturity can see worry in the other. Knowing that worry is a sin he/she has the answer as to what to do next. The shocked expression without recovery of Wisdom, speaks foolishly. Maturity doesn't make a verbal respond because arguing doesn't promote righteousness (James 1:20 AMP). The slow to speak attitude allows the response of immaturity to rise (James 1:19 KJV). Peace is what you seek. Listen for the quietness; for it is the effect of righteousness (Isaiah 32:17 KJV). History is nothing but the past but with it being forgotten you look more and more like Him. The mate you choose should be the equivalent to that.

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