Dating Basics

Hi, this will be the first of many entries to this blog. The topic of Christian Dating came about looking at the younger generation as a mother,  former Youth Specialist, and eventually Social Worker repeating oneself in the Human Professional field is inevitable. Remembering a childhood who parents were of the generation, "do what I say and don't ask any questions," or recollecting personal instruction (or lack thereof), in my generation - I couldn't be alone. In gathering information and playing around with a manuscript while in the library, a woman passed by the sketches and material seeing the title. She oohed and asked if there was going to be a chapter on co-habitating. Pausing for a moment, where would that fit in Christian dating? This is the question that precipitated the purpose for the blog. 

Know that everything you will be reading, you might not like (it might even make you angry). That's okay. There is no way this is trying to spiritually feed you dessert each and everyday. Sometimes broccoli and liver are necessary for nutrition too. You may have to walk away and come back to it later. Everything written is for the believer to have the same mind and purpose that the Lord intended. With that...continue.

Dating is a choice that we make, but for what purpose? Do we date to be seen by the "in crowd" so that it will be asked later if the two of you are serious or are you really serious about one another to the point of finding the wife and obtaining favor from the Lord? It is not a place where we can dip the tip of our toe into and then decide that we are no longer interested. People are not like they once were. Many are desperate and the least sign of interest will cause a stir in our social circle most commonly known as the church.

Those signs of desperation is not exclusive to women. Men have been seen looking across the congregation at any new member who doesn't know his usual moves and rapping techniques. With all of the media focusing on sex at one point or another, it gets really difficult to keep a focus on temperance and all of the other fruit of the Holy Spirit (Galatians 5:22-23 KJV). The tendency to get those physical needs met takes a precedence and before we know it, the faith we were raised to believe that will carry us through it all is not as paramount as it use to be. What changed? Or the better question is, who changed?

Eye candy is a term used to describe what one likes to look at. We see the benefits of having eye candy when celebrities walk the red carpet with the desire of so many admirers on his arm. The fantasy then becomes that we can have this too with out all of the status that the celebrities have. Problem is the equality of such a yoke (2 Corinthians 6:14 KJV) must be in agreement or said superficial Christian will be headed down a very dark and rocky road.

So now we have three topics that need clarity in the dating arena: choices, desperation, and eye candy. You would think these topics will take a life time or at least three pages to complete and make sense of. This would only be true to those who cannot understand the basic building blocks of Christianity. First and foremost, Jesus is Lord. Then believing He is who He is takes faith and with that faith we use it as it is defined: faith is the substance of things hoped for the evidence of things not seen. Having the understanding of faith, we then walk by it and not by sight. If we cannot agree with these basic building blocks, then there is no point in you continuing to read this material. For without these basics, Christianity is a label you have put upon yourself without the practical usage God intended.

Now for the topics; God told us that life and death are in the power of the tongue and for us to choose life. If we made the decision of having life then we will and we will have it more abundantly because of our belief that God sent His only begotten Son on our behalf. Once we made the decision, that is it. We have allowed for our Heavenly Father to be just that! As I tell my children when they were small, I have decades on your few years. Why wouldn't you listen to my experience rather than experience the pitfalls of your own mistakes? If I have those decades, how much more time does the Ancient of Days Who created us have on us? He says that He knew us before we were formed in the womb. Just as He knows this about you, He knows this about everyone else. So why wouldn't you put all of your faith and trust in Him? It only makes sense doesn't it?

Desperation is a euphemism for fear. The fear in the context of dating is that all of the good men will be gone before you get your chance? All of the women will be used all up and have so much to be delivered from before you can meet them? Or the one I use to have, there won't be any saved men left? In this huge world where there are billions of people thinking the same thing - are you serious? And for the women thinking about that biological clock banging away - all I have to say is what about Sarah (Abraham) having her first child at 100. What do you have to worry about? Oh, and those eggs getting too old? Well, the Word tells us that we have what we say we have and as a man thinks so is he. God tells us to speak good things and if it is true, honest, just, pure, lovely, and of a good report - think on those things. What category will old eggs fall under? What about no more good women or men? With those questions answered, whom shall you fear, whom shall you be afraid?

As far as candy goes, whether it be for the eyes or the tummy, too much of it will make you sick. 'Nuff said!