Monday, May 17, 2010

If I Didn't Ask, I Wouldn't Be Married

The title of this post was a direct quote from a woman who decided to do something different because she was tired of waiting and reconciled with herself that he needed her help even with being proposed to. Well, how long is a woman suppose to wait when her desires are on a handsome single guy, but he is too shy to come over and say, hello? There is nothing wrong with her going over and breaking the ice, as long as he realizes that is all it was; afterwards, he can be the aggressor. Better yet, what is the matter with the woman taking the bull by the reigns? At the very least the job is getting done.

I was looking at the animal kingdom, simply for entertainment. I know people are on a much higher heirarchy than animals, its just that God created them first before He created man and then He saw that all of the animals had a partner but man didn't. He then stated that it was not good for a man to be alone (Genesis 2:18 NIV). So, why did God pause, though momentarily, and look at the animals? So I watched as the very colorful and prominent males of every species did all that he could do to get the females attention. He puffed himself up bigger than the other males. He made sure there was a certain scent that she would be attracted to. Some species even have a dance to make sure she sees what he is doing. Even a few must show the place he made just for her and their family. It was just amazing. She either made her decision to be with that particular male or she went on her way. Not one of those animals switched their roles for the female to be the colorful one, show the nest she built for him, or puff herself up to be bigger than all of the others. She just waited for him to find her.

The huge difference with what God did with the people is that He made her from his side while he rested. Then He presented her to him (Genesis 2:20-22 AMP). God did this with no other species. So then why do we think we can do a better job then what God already did? Don't give me that we are under a new dispensation and therefore under a new order. The new covenant is to resume where Adam was before the fall. The presentation God made for Adam with the woman was before the fall of man.

So then if a woman decides to do things out of order and becomes the aggressor, will her marriage be blessed? Will her household be constantly out of order because of what she did in the first place? Or is it the man's fault for accepting the invitation because the pressure is taken off of him and he would rather be taken care of like his mother use to do?

My mother used a term that I rarely hear anymore- hen pecked. It is essentially a contentious woman who is not satisfied no matter what a man does (Proverbs 27:15 AMP). His answer to all of her demands is, "Yes dear." He doesn't try to make the situation better because he feels obligated to her or guilty because he made his bed and the realization came after the vows were made. She was determined, strong, and rather forceful. Who does she remind him of? Who acted this way in his life?

Actually many, if not all, single mothers who have to do it all. She has to work hard because she has to make the money, manage a house, know where her children are, and be educated enough to get the promotion when the opportunity presents itself. If her children stays out of trouble, she thinks she is doing well. This is the little fox trying to spoil the vine (Song of Solomon 2:15 KJV). No one really sees that a woman trying to do it all, something will fall through the cracks. One of those things is a girl learning how to be a woman and a boy seeing how a real woman is suppose to be. The working single mother these days just doesn't have the time to be at home to be the role model for her sons and daughters to see on a regular basis. So what is the resolve?

The trust we learn to have in God for everything (Isaiah 26:3 KJV). A woman becomes the aggressor to a man of her interests because she is afraid. Afraid that her time to be married is running out. Afraid that there won't be enough good men to go around. Afraid, that he will find someone prettier, more educated, younger, older, more to his liking. So she rushes the process and in so doing when the ceremony is over and the pressure is off, she discovers what she could have had if she just allowed for patience to have its perfect work in its entirety (James 1:4 KJV). That discovery happens many many years (if not decades) later.

Contention and patience cannot live together. Frustration and peace are not in the same dwelling place. Anxiety and joy are antithesis to each other (2 Corinthians 6:14 AMP). So how can a man relinguish his authority and be kept by an aggressive woman? Selah.

No comments: