I first must ask your forgiveness for not making more of a strong stance on a subject that is as important as life itself. I don't know how I got around to having this blog page for so long without making more of an emphasis on what God counts as His treasure. I suppose its because that I sensed and have been asked about so many other different subjects on Christian dating, I forgot that this is a new season, a new generation, and values have been tampered with. Though there have been issues and problems in the past that every generation finds more important then their predecessors, it doesn't take away from the fact that this generation has had more occurrences even with the information then any other (Psalm 73 AMP). Children... they are everywhere and the reports of the growing population decreasing have escaped me if there is any such document at all.
I have written about parenting and the things we did or didn't get as children we have to watch so not to have those unreasonable expectations from our perspective mates to be our surrogate or subconscious parent. Once having that understanding, it would be expected for us to look at those children we've had with people we are no longer with and make the decisions we didn't make when creating them. Shouldn't their life be better then mine? Would that man or woman as their step parent be the best decision for them (Proverbs 5:16-18 AMP)? We know what we desire. Of course we do, its how we got in the predicament we are in ... being single with children. It doesn't matter if you are a man or a woman. Its more then likely that the men aren't caring for the children the majority of the time but it doesn't take the responsibility away. Making the decision to date again involves more then the physical rantings of your lower region. Screaming as it might, day or night (even night and day), doesn't make the children disappear. Slipping out for a secret rendezvous only manufactures the voice of, "what are you doing?" That voice came when you chose life. Promising yourself that just this one time and that's it, creates a challenge (some call it the test of temptation) for those feelings to come again sooner then they ever did before. Should you be true to the promise you made to yourself just then? Should you think of what this time you are having with the one night stand do to your children or would that you could recall that where ever you go, God sees you?
I look at my now adult children and remember the looks on their faces when I was teaching them something they have never heard before. It was something extremely simple where most of us have taken for granted but to them with new eyes and such innocence, each word and action had to be directed (and in some cases, redirected) in such a way for it not to be misconstrued into a problem or an unplanned issue. When children see those different "uncles" and "aunties" coming and going, it won't take long before they figure out what's going on. It won't take long before they start thinking one thing when the words taught to them were completely different (Isaiah 30:1 AMP). It doesn't take long for the parent to realize whether admitted to or not that they raised for their son or daughter to be a player. The elder generation would say that son or daughter is a gigolo, a whore, fast, and/or just trifling. Who would be to blame but the one that trained the child (Proverbs 22:6 AMP)?
It was a lesson that was taught to me in church services about dating someone and bringing them home for my children to meet. The first meeting is like the first date. You are hoping that its a perfect match and everyone gets along. The problem with this hope is, those little quirky things that you didn't see before have become annoying and... well... it doesn't look like its going to work after all. Sorry. Onward and forward I guess. Have a happy life. But its just not that simple anymore. Those little quirky, irritating, childish ways are just the things that caused your child (or children) to be in love with him/her. They can't wait to see him/her again. They had so much fun and it all works for them better then any of the other people you dated. An adult mending a broken heart is sad and it does take time for the scab to appear. Once that proverbial scab starts to slough off, often the skin underneath is much tougher. What happens when a child's heart has to mend? Do they really bounce back? Are they all the more tougher and would you like for them to be (Matthew 18:6-10 KJV)? I often wondered why my mother didn't date when the divorce was final with my father. When asked, her answer to me was, "because I have three daughters and a son to raise." She put us first before herself. Is this sort of what God meant when He tells us that we present our bodies as a living sacrifice (Romans 12:1 KJV)?
Newborns lay there. Without even trying we can't help but to, "aww." Children are not anymore calculating then babies. When they hurt they don't care who comes to take the pain away. When they make friends, they don't contemplate on skin color and socio-economic status. When they give hugs, they are generous in doing so not finding it as a precious commodity as those who are in need of that hug. They laugh at whatever they find funny and show compassion to what their heart tells them; then something happens. Changes occur as it has happened with us all. We grow up and see matters differently. Are we influenced by those who seem to be an authority on the subject and trust those who say love but the sincerity was misplaced years ago? Whatever you wish to believe, it doesn't take away from the fact that you are responsible for those little ones. To the man, God clearly tells you that if you don't care for them, you are worse then an infidel (1 Timothy 5:8 KJV). To the woman, the bible is also clear about children who grow up as fools (Proverbs 10:1 AMP). The next generation is in our hands to do with what we hope to have in the future. The Word tells us to give thanks and pray. It doesn't sound like a whole lot to do, yet what I have found that being thankful goes a long way and prayer does work (James 5:16 KJV).