Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Stimulating Conversation

If its not there when do you expect it to be there (John 16:13 KJV)?

I was just thinking about people getting together because they believe they would have beautiful children. Honestly, while having gorgeous children sounds like everyone's dream - WAKE UP! The two beautiful people will have to raise those children and in order to do that conversation will have to come about. Why have this epiphany after the wedding?

It stems from the May/ December relationships as well as those who set the goals of being the perfect Barbie (c)/ Ken (c) couple. Though we can see the stem, where is the root of this mess? The root is from being carnal (Romans 8:6 KJV). It is walking in the flesh rather then the Spirit of God. I know, those who have those kinds of romances would like to disprove what I am writing about and that's fine. I would like to challenge those ready to debate for them to be honest with themselves and ask if there have been issues with their marriage. Their answer would then be, "of course, every relationships has their problems." If that is what you believe then instead of debating, I would leave them with that. For everyone else, we walk by faith and not by sight (2 Corinthians 5:7 KJV). We follow after Jesus who is called the Prince of Peace. I can't see trouble if I am following after Peace.

Usually after a statement like that there would a lot of, "But....but...but." Why wouldn't those reactions be completed. Because the statements come from the Word of God and any believer really hearing will also hear the Holy Spirit with more Word to strengthen what was heard. You know we are a peculiar nation. You already know that the habits we have are not of the world. So why reiterate what they believe?

Now, the topic is conversation. If in the first few words, the person is not listening or show signs of boredom, because they have a tight six pack or a nice rack does not give enough reason to maintain the relationship. Signs of boredom in what you find interesting is the red flag warning you that this person will continue to see that you are as deary as they believed you to be when they were dating you. Will this person that is still holding on and find you boring be loyal to you? Why would he/she if they are not loyal in listening to what you have to say? Will you always be appeasing to do as the other person wants to do just to keep him/her interested? Does that sound like joy or do you believe you will eventually dread it?

Conversation is how we communicate. It allows us to hear how people really are whether they intended to say it or not. We can even hear what a person doesn't say which would give us reason to make crucial decisions. Such as: if you were having a conversation with a person and used the applicable Word of God in the given topic with every issue that was brought up, with the last topic the person you were talking to rolled their eyes and didn't have much to say afterward (Matthew 7:6 KJV). Would you bask in the fact that you were right, having scripture at the ready, and ignoring that eye roll or would you address the expression using the Word of God. The reaction of the other person was a point of communication. It tells you something about that person. Not reacting to what you clearly saw, also says much about you (1 Corinthians 12 :11-13 MSG). Because you saw the exasperation in that eye roll, would you discontinue using the Word as much? Read this.

Conversation can cause a relationship to flourish. These couples have common interests and can talk to each other about a number of different topics. These people can be the best of friends because they understand one another without having to get a self help book in coping with the opposite sex. It isn't trying to cope with the opposite sex that is the problem, its trying to make yourself equal with someone who is clearly not. This is why I cannot relate with opposites attracting one another (2 Corinthians 6:14 KJV). What would you talk about? How could you come into agreement with anything always opposing the other? You say white he says black. You say light she says heavy or dark. You say lets vacation in Palm Springs she wants to stay at home and in bed. Why would two sane individuals do this to each other?

Have you ever been on the phone with someone and the time just flew by? There you are in the wee hours of the morning and you aren't the least bit tired because you finally can talk to someone who gets it. You aren't all that weird or you are and there is someone else who is as weird as you are. It is one of the best feelings to have. Why compromise that with something that looks pretty/handsome?

God answered you when you asked for a mate (1 Peter 3:12 KJV). He knows what is best for you. Can you hear Him?

Friday, January 21, 2011

Wear This To Attract Him

It seems, at times, that these blog entries have been blasting specific sermons. Note: its the sermons not the ministers, pastors, teachers, apostles, or bishops administering the message (1 Chronicles 16:22 NIV). I suppose if I were really ignorant in the Word I could listen to just about anything and be influenced to believe that it is the truth simply because a man or woman of God said so, its just that I am not inexperienced in the Word and because of that, I know better (Ephesians 4:13-15 KJV). I took the advice of the Holy Spirit in the Word that does tell us to study it day and night then we shall have good success (Joshua 1:8 KJV). So I listen and then I recall what the Word does say and then I write about it. Now if there is a minister, pastor, teacher, apostle, bishop, lay person, or anyone else that opposes what I am writing here - please write me back. I don't reject correction just as long as the truth is backing what I am being corrected about (Proverbs 15:32 AMP).

With that written, I couldn't help but to notice that I don't use many examples of my own here - a testimony. The reason for that has nothing to do with embarrassing myself but the other person or persons involved. So I wait and pray on the matter. If it is still bothersome to me, I leave it alone for a better time. I use the same tactics with all decisions. Peace must rule. However, in this case, I did what the minister preached and the after effects weren't at all what I expected.  But then again, I am getting ahead of myself. Lets start at the beginning:

There was this guy in church that I believe we had this phenomenal connection. I did what my mother trained me to do - wait. I knew that the Word tells us the he who finds a  wife... so with both of those things influencing me - I waited and waited and waited and waited. It was the most idiotic thing I had done to date. It wasn't the advice nor the waiting, it was the giddiness of his flirting that kept me dangling as if the flirting was any indication of him being serious to do anything else. And so I waited and allowed to be dangled hoping that eventually he would adhere to what God was telling him or what I believed God was telling him because I prayed. In that time of waiting there were many messages most of which I didn't get all of because my attention was looking to see what he was doing. Many times he was looking to see what I was doing. It was so elementary school-like but I was still hoping that there was more then there actually was.

One of the messages that came across the pulpit from a visiting minister was for single women to behave in a certain manner. I was really on the edge of my seat for this one because it is usually men talking about all of the faults of single women and letting the men skate by with all of their nonsense. In listening to this woman of God speak, I recall she telling us to that if the man isn't moving towards you and you know he is who God spoke to you about, then do what you can do. She suggested wearing his favorite color. She also suggested to ask some casual questions so one could learn a few things and do them in order to stand out amongst the crowd of other women looking to be married. She was essentially advising to get his attention.

"Hey!" I thought, "why didn't I think of that?" I took the advice like bees to honey. I didn't ask any casual questions because I knew people would get suspicious and tip him off. So I did the next best thing. You would think prayer took precedence in this case. I would think so after reading all that I have written on this site...HA! All I could think of was getting his attention and rid of this feeling of dangling. I studied what he wore and could not assess his favorite color from those dreary suit colors. Then I saw that he drove a pretty flashy luxury car and assumed that this must be his favorite color. I bought a new outfit  for every Sunday and accessories for the outfits I wore through out the week. This is where the idiotic thing came in, the more I wore the color the less he flirted. I didn't even like wearing the color. It was loud and I am conservative. Did I get his attention? Who knows? I was trying to get rid of all of the other guys that kept bothering me asking me questions for no apparent reason but to get my attention.

It took me over a year before I couldn't care less if he even knew my name. It took less then that to sow those dresses and other garments into other women's lives that could have used them better then I did. I kept a sweater or two but for the most part the clothes were reminders of acting on advice without the benefit of prayer. Had I prayed first I would have noticed how none of what that speaker said came from the Word of God. His favorite color? Where is the scripture and verse for that? I suppose one would have a little animosity toward that woman of God giving such advice; however, if we think of it with Love at the helm, we could see a few things about ourselves:
1. God tests the hearts of men (1Thessalonians 2:4 AMP. This could very well have been a test of faith for me to see if walking in the Spirit took precedence over everything or was there anything else carnal that had not passed away yet.
2. The Holy Spirit led Jesus in the wilderness (Matthew 4:1 NIV). I often wondered why would the Holy Spirit do such a thing. But it is in that wilderness did the enemy come to tempt Him. It was in that wilderness did Jesus use all that He had been studying before going into ministry. It was right at the end of the fast Jesus had been on when He was led into the wilderness. One would think Jesus would have been at His weakest point - yet He wins!
3. It is he who finds a wife finds a good things and obtains favor from God (Proverbs 18:22 KJV). If I worked so hard trying to get his attention by purchasing clothes in his favorite color and asking pertinent questions about him, aren't I trying to find him rather then the other way around?

After it was all said and done, the pastor of the church had a message that put it all into perspective. When you are dealing with another personality other then your own, you cannot think that certain things will happen in the time that you would like. If it is you having to do what God says to do, you know what you have to manage in order to get those things done. When it is another who manages differently, if at all, then the matter becomes a whole new different equation and other factors have to be considered. I believe this is why God tells us not to be unequally yoked. Even if both believe in the Lord Jesus Christ as their personal Savior, it doesn't alleviate that one might have the knowledge as to why Jesus came and ascended while the other is just grateful in being saved. Those two are unequally yoked.

The other perspective was in my own studies that if I have to work so hard to get the attention of a man, it has nothing to do with God. How is it that God is telling me to enter into His rest (Hebrews 4:10 KJV), Jesus is telling me to follow Him because His burden is easy and yoke is light (Matthew 11:30 NIV), and the Word tells me that He leads me beside still waters and lays me in green pastures (Psalms 23:2 KJV) and I am running like a banshee trying to get answers to questions I didn't even have and purchasing garments I didn't even need. He tells me to put on the garment of praise - it costs me nothing. he tells me to put the whole armor of God on - it costs me nothing. If I have the attention of God who is for my benefit, why then would I have to do anything else for the attention of man who may or may not do as God tells him in order for him to be blessed and obtain the favor that all men look for and need?