Friday, January 21, 2011

Wear This To Attract Him

It seems, at times, that these blog entries have been blasting specific sermons. Note: its the sermons not the ministers, pastors, teachers, apostles, or bishops administering the message (1 Chronicles 16:22 NIV). I suppose if I were really ignorant in the Word I could listen to just about anything and be influenced to believe that it is the truth simply because a man or woman of God said so, its just that I am not inexperienced in the Word and because of that, I know better (Ephesians 4:13-15 KJV). I took the advice of the Holy Spirit in the Word that does tell us to study it day and night then we shall have good success (Joshua 1:8 KJV). So I listen and then I recall what the Word does say and then I write about it. Now if there is a minister, pastor, teacher, apostle, bishop, lay person, or anyone else that opposes what I am writing here - please write me back. I don't reject correction just as long as the truth is backing what I am being corrected about (Proverbs 15:32 AMP).

With that written, I couldn't help but to notice that I don't use many examples of my own here - a testimony. The reason for that has nothing to do with embarrassing myself but the other person or persons involved. So I wait and pray on the matter. If it is still bothersome to me, I leave it alone for a better time. I use the same tactics with all decisions. Peace must rule. However, in this case, I did what the minister preached and the after effects weren't at all what I expected.  But then again, I am getting ahead of myself. Lets start at the beginning:

There was this guy in church that I believe we had this phenomenal connection. I did what my mother trained me to do - wait. I knew that the Word tells us the he who finds a  wife... so with both of those things influencing me - I waited and waited and waited and waited. It was the most idiotic thing I had done to date. It wasn't the advice nor the waiting, it was the giddiness of his flirting that kept me dangling as if the flirting was any indication of him being serious to do anything else. And so I waited and allowed to be dangled hoping that eventually he would adhere to what God was telling him or what I believed God was telling him because I prayed. In that time of waiting there were many messages most of which I didn't get all of because my attention was looking to see what he was doing. Many times he was looking to see what I was doing. It was so elementary school-like but I was still hoping that there was more then there actually was.

One of the messages that came across the pulpit from a visiting minister was for single women to behave in a certain manner. I was really on the edge of my seat for this one because it is usually men talking about all of the faults of single women and letting the men skate by with all of their nonsense. In listening to this woman of God speak, I recall she telling us to that if the man isn't moving towards you and you know he is who God spoke to you about, then do what you can do. She suggested wearing his favorite color. She also suggested to ask some casual questions so one could learn a few things and do them in order to stand out amongst the crowd of other women looking to be married. She was essentially advising to get his attention.

"Hey!" I thought, "why didn't I think of that?" I took the advice like bees to honey. I didn't ask any casual questions because I knew people would get suspicious and tip him off. So I did the next best thing. You would think prayer took precedence in this case. I would think so after reading all that I have written on this site...HA! All I could think of was getting his attention and rid of this feeling of dangling. I studied what he wore and could not assess his favorite color from those dreary suit colors. Then I saw that he drove a pretty flashy luxury car and assumed that this must be his favorite color. I bought a new outfit  for every Sunday and accessories for the outfits I wore through out the week. This is where the idiotic thing came in, the more I wore the color the less he flirted. I didn't even like wearing the color. It was loud and I am conservative. Did I get his attention? Who knows? I was trying to get rid of all of the other guys that kept bothering me asking me questions for no apparent reason but to get my attention.

It took me over a year before I couldn't care less if he even knew my name. It took less then that to sow those dresses and other garments into other women's lives that could have used them better then I did. I kept a sweater or two but for the most part the clothes were reminders of acting on advice without the benefit of prayer. Had I prayed first I would have noticed how none of what that speaker said came from the Word of God. His favorite color? Where is the scripture and verse for that? I suppose one would have a little animosity toward that woman of God giving such advice; however, if we think of it with Love at the helm, we could see a few things about ourselves:
1. God tests the hearts of men (1Thessalonians 2:4 AMP. This could very well have been a test of faith for me to see if walking in the Spirit took precedence over everything or was there anything else carnal that had not passed away yet.
2. The Holy Spirit led Jesus in the wilderness (Matthew 4:1 NIV). I often wondered why would the Holy Spirit do such a thing. But it is in that wilderness did the enemy come to tempt Him. It was in that wilderness did Jesus use all that He had been studying before going into ministry. It was right at the end of the fast Jesus had been on when He was led into the wilderness. One would think Jesus would have been at His weakest point - yet He wins!
3. It is he who finds a wife finds a good things and obtains favor from God (Proverbs 18:22 KJV). If I worked so hard trying to get his attention by purchasing clothes in his favorite color and asking pertinent questions about him, aren't I trying to find him rather then the other way around?

After it was all said and done, the pastor of the church had a message that put it all into perspective. When you are dealing with another personality other then your own, you cannot think that certain things will happen in the time that you would like. If it is you having to do what God says to do, you know what you have to manage in order to get those things done. When it is another who manages differently, if at all, then the matter becomes a whole new different equation and other factors have to be considered. I believe this is why God tells us not to be unequally yoked. Even if both believe in the Lord Jesus Christ as their personal Savior, it doesn't alleviate that one might have the knowledge as to why Jesus came and ascended while the other is just grateful in being saved. Those two are unequally yoked.

The other perspective was in my own studies that if I have to work so hard to get the attention of a man, it has nothing to do with God. How is it that God is telling me to enter into His rest (Hebrews 4:10 KJV), Jesus is telling me to follow Him because His burden is easy and yoke is light (Matthew 11:30 NIV), and the Word tells me that He leads me beside still waters and lays me in green pastures (Psalms 23:2 KJV) and I am running like a banshee trying to get answers to questions I didn't even have and purchasing garments I didn't even need. He tells me to put on the garment of praise - it costs me nothing. he tells me to put the whole armor of God on - it costs me nothing. If I have the attention of God who is for my benefit, why then would I have to do anything else for the attention of man who may or may not do as God tells him in order for him to be blessed and obtain the favor that all men look for and need?

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