Then Comes Marriage

As much as I have written about dating and what to look for in a spouse, the writings on marriage has not been as exhaustive. The reason for that is, if a person understands that he/she is not dating just for the sake of being social but for the purposes of marriage, then that person is also ready or has established a relationship with God to know that he/she must pray, study, and always have an attentive ear to know what to do (Mark 4:9 AMP). This should be a regular practice, otherwise discord has gained entrance. This isn't very popular for people to adapt because people would like to do what they wish to do and discipline isn't usually one of those things that's really high up on the chore list.

Seriously, do you not understand that we are incorporating another personality that must be more like you then not (Amos 3:3 KJV). First comes love, is not just having the relationship with God but with you. You must like you. If you don't then you will hate your suppose and discord was never served eviction papers (James 1:20 AMP). Its just siting there ready to invite, drama, gossip, nagging right in to kick back with feet on your best furniture (Ephesians 4:27 AMP).Why? Because you didn't recognize the loathing of self. It is why there is domestic violence. It is why some run to other substances to escape - like, drugs, alcohol, strip clubs and the like. It is why mental health is where it is. If you didn't know, go to a counselor and chat for awhile (Proverbs 15:22 KJV). There is no shame in it. We all need some help from time to time. Know that if you continue hating yourself, you will have more trouble then a little bit because the greater one on the inside is not the author of the confusion you are contending with.

Once those matters are understood, you have to walk in it. You have to see how all of that feels and

condition yourself to make it a habit to be that way. Look at it from this perspective: I have this issue with weight. I know what to do to lose the weight and am actually doing all of the elementary things with my diet. Such as watching my carbohydrate intake, having several servings of fruits and vegetables, take vitamins and minerals daily, more fish then red meat, no fatty foods, no fast food, no junk food, cut down on sugary treats, no alcohol, no caffeine, no sodas, and drink plenty of water. You would think I could keep that single digit (or close to it) size. Well, there is that pesky thing that seems to make me whine every morning as I look at the CD's, equipment, and all of the other crap that's supposed to motivate me to exercise. I use to do it daily and got down to my target weight, then I felt like I conquered the battle and could live like a normal person just getting up and living without having to make time for cardio. As much as I detest writing this because I do understand it - I was WRONG!!! Exercise must be a part of my life as making my bed, brushing my teeth and bathing. Its necessary and I must do it or... be a porker. Oddly, I rationalized with the porking concept. But isn't that what you did with loving yourself?

Alright, now some months have passed. How well have you done? Don't you know? What does your counselor say? You did get a Christian counselor basing the therapy on the Word didn't you? Otherwise, its the blind leading the blind.

Use a calendar. After you had your break through, there has to be some scriptures that you are standing on and believing for. You have been repeating them daily. Well, has anything happened? If not, get ready for it! If it has, write it down in the calendar. Keep a track of the improvements in your life. Choosing life way back when was more then just speaking words. You must be on the life journey and many times that would mean speaking the Word of life into existence just as God did when creating the world.

Once you see the difference, know that this is something that has to be maintained. When dating for the purposes of marriage, he/she must also be doing this as well. It is why marriage isn't hard for believers. We have learned how God is, what He says, and how He operates. We do the same thing. This is striving to be more like Him. With these things as habits, you can see how much we have taken for granted, where we had made mistakes wondering why God was taking so long, and why we had to wait to be married. God is good.