Making It Plain

Tony Orlando and Dawn was a singing group back in the 70's. Tony Orlando was singing well before then though. During that time, the hit, Tie a Yellow Ribbon was on the rise, and so was his weight. By the mid to late 70's, everyone noticed how he started to slim down. It looked effortless. He was on a talk show when the subject came up in an interview. Mr. Orlando explained that as a child and well into his adult years, he would always have a particular snack of a well known brand of chocolate cookie and milk. It seemed innocent enough when growing into his teen years and really wasn't noticing the weight gain until an adult. He didn't change much of his diet, he just stopped the seemingly innocent snack of milk and cookies. This is how the concept of trust has been used. When reading about relationships or studying about marriage and counseling couples, this concept is paramount in all aspects of the dynamic. Having the support of the significant other, there has to be...

  Attending a Christian College to obtain a graduate degree, I was eager to begin the new semester. There were assignments, as usual, but my favorite part of any class was the essays. The essay we were to compose had to do with the subject matter of trust and where we learned this valuable lesson using scripture to substantiate the point of view. I don’t recall the content of the paper but I do remember some of the comments the professor had in the margins. He thought that it was funny. Still, at the end, he disagreed with my point of view and wrote, “ you have to trust someone .”  His comment perplexed me for several reasons. One it’s a Christian institution and I assumed those teaching are Christian as well. The other thing was that I used scripture to make my point valid and it didn’t matter to him. Finally, I wondered why I was allowing this man to teach me anything if he was going to oppose the basics of trust? The remainder of that semester became difficult for me to con...

  Currently, my career has led me to a mental health facility where the job of Social Work is constant. The services provided are not only to the poor and homeless but also to those with higher levels of education and socio-economic status. It is an aspect of this field I had no interest to be a part of, but God. As I became more acclimated to the position, I have found a common thread in many of the mental health issues. For instance, if you’ve ever seen the television show, Hoarders, you realize that as the episode continues and delves into that particular hoarder, he/she has had some trauma in their life some sort of way and many of them have another common thread using thrift stores (estate, yard, or garage sales) as a means of escape. The facility where I am employed the common thread is the absolving trust within relationships. These relationships can be immediate family or long termed friendship or marriage. It takes therapy sessions before the patient can come to terms with...

Sometimes after church services, a group of us single women would find something to do. On that particular Sunday, we went open house browsing in affluent neighborhoods. The homes were so palatial. Far more spacious than what any of us were able to afford at the time, but God ( we said ). From one house to another we ooh and awed before noticing that it was getting dark. For us, that meant the blinds or curtains were going to close for privacy. These owners had no window dressing to use. It was the only thing we found odd, until leaving and saw how dark it was in the entire neighborhood...to the point that if it weren't for the owner leaving that light on in the house, we wouldn't have been able to see backing out of the driveway. There were no streetlights, no personal yard light, no porch lights - nothing. It was explained that the wiring was underground to minimize blackouts during storm season. Oh, we said in unison with a question mark. So they would prefer car accidents i...

 Jenifer Lewis, a well known actress for many years and co-starred in the popular (yet cancelled) sit-com, Black-ish , made an interesting statement that assisted with the misunderstood notion written in these next few sentences. Aside from the "colorful" language and mannerisms that makes her the actress she is, she said something like, "look at yourself in a mirror. Who do you see? Once you get passed the tears, you have to love who you are." The misunderstood notion: you should never be a lover of yourself. Now, the task Ms. Lewis mentions would seem pretty elemental (look at yourself in the mirror). The question she says is pretty obvious (who do you see?). The direction though had me scratching my head wondering, if this would be necessary in these days and times (you have to love who you are). Aren't we past this point and ready to get our teeth into the meat and potatoes of a relationship already? And the answer is sadly, no. Why? In talking about dating...