Ugly To The Bone

In my first year of college, I was employed by a small company who was hiring the local residents from the neighborhood. My sister and I were hired. During the introduction to the position process, the employer tried to be more engaging telling us about himself and his family. He had a picture of his first born toddler son on his desk. He turned the picture around for my sister and I to see it better. If there was ever a bigger reason to practice the masked face when horrified, that was the time. Never would I ever call a baby ugly mostly because I had never seen one before and the next reason is that babies are innocent and fully dependent on the adults caring for him/her. However, that particular day, my sister and I reacted solely from immature. No sounds of horror just the reflex of the jump /draw back spoke volumes. That was years ago and we believed he grew up to be a handsome young man or one who drew on all of his other attributes.

Those other attributes are what this entry is about. By now, if you have read at least 5 posts, you will know this blog is saturated in God's Word. And the ideas of what we've believed marriage was, comes from the popular teachings that have nothing to do with scripture. When pastors rally more on looks being the important thing when dating because one must be attracted to one another to love one another, know that is what you are basing your relationship on. You say you love God but have never seen Him (1 John 4:20 AMP). Could you have a conversation with someone you don't find attractive? If not, if you were in a relationship with someone who is attractive and you find the personality is everything you hate. Do you maintain the relationship?

This reminds me of Abigail in the bible who was married to Nabal (1Samuel 25:2-41 AMP). He was very rich with a large parcel of land where he kept many of his livestock. David, the king was coming through with his army of soldiers. They had protected Nabal's servants while working and David asked  if he could get some water and feed his men. Nabal said no and told him and the army to move on. The bible describes this man as evil. Yet his wife came when her husband wasn't looking to give David and his men some supplies. Later, Nabal died in his wickedness. When Abigail considered marrying Nabal, do you think he didn't show signs of being that man he became? What was her criterion for accepting his proposal. Can you see this currently happening? The bible does not describe Nabal as ever being  good looking, tall, or even well built. He is described as wealthy and evil. Was he always this way? Did she see the man's personality or all of the wealth first?

Jacob saw Rachel and immediately knew, (Genesis 29:9-31 AMP). When Jacob came to Laban's residence, he came with the intention of marrying Rachel. The scripture says he loved her so much. But when marrying, there was a veil placed on the bride. Jacob didn't know who he was marrying. When it was all said and done, he found that he married the older sister. Can you imagine his disappointment? But why didn't he recognize his bride without seeing her face Why didn't he know that the height wasn't quite right? The way she smelled or sounded wasn't the woman he knew? After realizing what happened, he treated Leah as his wife. He didn't love her. He was biding his time with her until he could have the one he truly loved. Why didn't he recognize the love Leah had for him? Why couldn't he see it even after she bore him 12 sons? Reading how Jacob felt about Leah, how did she look to you? The bible doesn't describe her as ugly, overweight, or even having a bad disposition but Jacob didn't love her. Does the scripture describe Rachel in a better light? So what was the difference and why couldn't Jacob get passed it? 

If you knew it would be better for you to marry someone with a good outlook on life but looked mediocre, could this person have a chance with you? There are many beautiful people that have celebrity status. When we didn't know better and someone asked who our celebrity crush is, before answering everyone starts with a smile because the fantasy becomes alive. In our minds, this perfect person is just that. He/she could do no wrong. Morris Chestnut, Blair Underwood and John Stamos were the lookers in my day. In my mind, they couldn't have a bad day and their words are as smooth as buttah. But what is the reality?

A pastor's wife was sitting with a panel of women answering questions from an 

all female congregation. The question about having a certain disposition when you don't "feel" like it came up. The pastor's wife said when the times are good, at the end of the day she goes to the bathroom and records all of the fun times and romantic things that she experienced. She smiled while she described the day into the recorder and continually added to the recording with each and every good day. But when the days where the pastor's wife was irritated or felt like she wasn't appreciated yet her husband was feeling sexually aroused and she knew she couldn't deny him, she would go in the bathroom and get the tape player hidden under some towels to listen to those "good times" in order for her to be the dutiful wife. Is that reality? How ugly through out the day did it need to be before getting the tape recorder? Will that always work? Can you listen to the same recording or will you have to keep adding to it? If that's true, do you think she is expecting more bad days than there are good? How can this be if the two of them are good looking people?

This topic isn't new to this blog. There is an entry entitled, When Does Beauty Fade? and another entitled, Where Beauty Fades Real Attraction Begins and a third called Warts and All where all of these entries challenges the reader as to what is the basis by which you can call this other person the perfect mate. Will the foundation of the relationship built on a rock or sand? Both of the entries, like this one, capsulates where man is today: in the last days and lover of self. As believers, we continue to walk by faith and keep aware of our short-comings. We know that iron sharpens iron. So if you are not sensitive to the things that you have minimized in your life, make sure you are praying that your brother or sister in the faith aren't falling short either. God is looking for the image He created in the beginning. Nebal's heart failed him; how is your heart looking?

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Devotion

Image
Have you ever said a word so much that it lost all meaning? Have you ever thought you knew what a word meant until you saw someone else do it better then you ever could? While the first question might seem childish, try it. Say the word, devotion about 20 times. It should start to sound funny. Now think of any circumstance where this word describes your action or reaction. I liked to think that I was devoted to the ministry I attended for so many years. I volunteered in various areas of the ministry. I taught classes. I attended classes and I was beginning to look forward to being a part of the staff. Even when other ministers were leaving the parish for whatever the reason, it had nothing to do with me. I enjoyed the place I was in. I kept myself away from those that liked to gossip and focused on whatever task I was assigned to. My purpose was doing the will of God, not man. Then, without me knowing it, some of the stink that caused certain ministers to leave was coming for me. M...
Read more

Obligated

Image
Every time I think I went over a topic to exhaustion, something else arises to where I begin wondering whether I touched on that point enough or not and if I did, is it understood to where it has become common sense then anything else? Well, to some of us, most of these topics are common sense but only because of the Holy Spirit living on the inside of us while we are persistent in walking in love in all that we do. If you didn't know where that common sense came from, now you do. With that, let's understand the concept of obligation. To be obligated to someone is to be indebted to that person. It is a bill whether it being an actual, tangible document, or just an understanding that when it is time to collect on the debt, the person collecting is expecting payment at the point of asking. Let us all understand right out of the gate that the Word tells us to owe no man anything but to love him. With this in mind, there should be an immediate plan to get out of debt and stay o...
Read more

Lift Every Voice?

Image
There aren't too many reasons why people marry. There aren't too many reasons why people come to church to find the ideal person with whom they would like to spend the rest of their lives. There have been entirely too many people that has allowed their eyes to make that call rather than hearing what the calling (Spirit led) has to say. It is the last statement that should create interest to this new generation of believers so that any unwanted cycle in "the family" can stop right now ( Matthew 7:15 AMP ). During the dating process, initially, eyes are all a twinkle and we do put on our best behavior; why this behavior isn't constant would be up to the willing participants of the date to see and make a quality decision afterward. When I was in my late teens, I went on a date with this absolutely gorgeous man. I was elated that he not only found me attractive but was stammering in trying to get my phone number. He didn't know I was elated and the calmer I co...
Read more