Does The Word Not Challenge You?
Its the funniest thing, that a man who is respectable in his community and has done what he needs to in the eyes of God would want a woman to be as respectable as he would claim himself to be (1 Timothy 3:1-12 KJV). Yet when the mood arises (in the dating phase), and he attempts to arouse his intended, would he then be offended or challenged when she rejects his advances? Can you see the funny (not ha-ha) in that?
You see there are these "alpha male" personality types that see everything as command and conquer. There is nothing the matter with this because it definitely is needed in the body of Christ. That's bold determination and actually an attractive quality. There is no fear in that personality. In fact, he will usually look at men strangely when they would much rather reason things unto a slurry mess. You know the kind. The talkers, the lecturers, until the opposition surrenders because they would much rather take a nap then to hear anything else from this person. There's no fear in the talkers either, its just that they need to be around those that like to listen to them talk - incessantly! Though talkers can be challenged at the rejection of romantic advances in the dating process as well. Their method is to be convincing with flattering words.
The point being, why be challenged or offended for that matter? Would the phrase that comes next be, "we are going to get married anyway, what are you saving it for?" How could he form such a question out of his mouth? The better question being, how could she contemplate the validity in that question? What happened to discipline, strength in God, waiting for the wedding night, being a positive influence on the younger generation, or continuing to be pleasing in the eyes of God? Yes, it is an enormous task to accept the responsibility of marriage and that responsibility begins the moment the invitation to date is accepted. Its time to paint a visual picture so that this concept can be seen as truth. Lets start with the milk and work into the meat of God's word (Hebrews 5:14 KJV). After all, that's how you got here - isn't it?
As children we are taught the simplest of tasks as making up one's bed. At the start of doing this independently, there are marvelous accolades and praise for the attempt. The purpose of these accolades is for the behavior to be on going. Once it becomes a habit, there is no reason to continue with the praise for something that is expected. This would be true with potty training, walking upright instead of crawling, and dressing oneself regularly. It is expected. God does this very same thing when we take our first spiritual steps. When someone says something offensive, instead of being offended we use love as a defense. It grow us up and makes the other consider their ways. Its like your first step and God is there giving you accolades for attempting and finishing well. For some, these are too grown up so their first steps might be just being a cheerful giver when the offering plate comes around and not staring at it as if losing an old friend. Yes, not grieving over giving can be someone else's first steps (yeesh!). Nevertheless, which ever the case, these are baby steps. If there is still a frustration as far as what was aforementioned, you should think twice about accepting a date for the purposes of marriage. If giving frustrates you now, marriage will have you climbing the walls! If love is not an acceptable defense to someone who has offended you, how then can you say you love God when these are mere basic building blocks (1 Corinthians 13:4-8 KJV) ? How can you accept or offer and invitation to date for the purposes of marriage when you haven't regularly practiced love (1 John 4:20 KJV)? Again, frustration at attempting to answer that question is indicative of the flesh still operating instead of having it dead at the cross (Galatians 5:24-25 KJV).
This would also be true feeling challenged when romantic attempts have been refused. Whether the aggressor is the man or woman, it would be that red flag telling you that this person is not the one. Whether the one being refused can use the excuse that he/she was testing you to see how strong you are, you must still do what is right. God is the one that does the testing (1 Thessalonians 2:4 AMP). Anyone else will be faulty in their judgement or when he/she falls will call it a mistake. Also, if testing is the excuse, it tells you that he/she believes to be strong in this area of romance and will not be tempted themselves. How else can someone test lest they have been tested and have passed? It is why Jesus said to the men at the ready to stone the woman for committing adultery, "Let him without sin, cast the first stone." (John 8:1-11 KJV) How can someone test anyone else with something that they just as well may have fallen into? Truth be told, its another red flag.
Now here is a question. When he/she has refused the romantic advances, what will the other do with those sexual feelings? Will those feelings be done away with because of the refusal and therefore the mood has been broken or will there be an alternative recourse? Prayer or something else? Personally, I would think it is an excellent first date question so the boundaries are made without any confusion later (1 Corinthians 14 33 KJV). How the conversation proceeds thereafter would also be interesting. Is there silence. Hm, sounds like a red flag.
Ah, for those new to the dating process and have not quite figured out what a red flag is, let me clarify: DANGER! Do Not Proceed! RUN!
You see there are these "alpha male" personality types that see everything as command and conquer. There is nothing the matter with this because it definitely is needed in the body of Christ. That's bold determination and actually an attractive quality. There is no fear in that personality. In fact, he will usually look at men strangely when they would much rather reason things unto a slurry mess. You know the kind. The talkers, the lecturers, until the opposition surrenders because they would much rather take a nap then to hear anything else from this person. There's no fear in the talkers either, its just that they need to be around those that like to listen to them talk - incessantly! Though talkers can be challenged at the rejection of romantic advances in the dating process as well. Their method is to be convincing with flattering words.
The point being, why be challenged or offended for that matter? Would the phrase that comes next be, "we are going to get married anyway, what are you saving it for?" How could he form such a question out of his mouth? The better question being, how could she contemplate the validity in that question? What happened to discipline, strength in God, waiting for the wedding night, being a positive influence on the younger generation, or continuing to be pleasing in the eyes of God? Yes, it is an enormous task to accept the responsibility of marriage and that responsibility begins the moment the invitation to date is accepted. Its time to paint a visual picture so that this concept can be seen as truth. Lets start with the milk and work into the meat of God's word (Hebrews 5:14 KJV). After all, that's how you got here - isn't it?
As children we are taught the simplest of tasks as making up one's bed. At the start of doing this independently, there are marvelous accolades and praise for the attempt. The purpose of these accolades is for the behavior to be on going. Once it becomes a habit, there is no reason to continue with the praise for something that is expected. This would be true with potty training, walking upright instead of crawling, and dressing oneself regularly. It is expected. God does this very same thing when we take our first spiritual steps. When someone says something offensive, instead of being offended we use love as a defense. It grow us up and makes the other consider their ways. Its like your first step and God is there giving you accolades for attempting and finishing well. For some, these are too grown up so their first steps might be just being a cheerful giver when the offering plate comes around and not staring at it as if losing an old friend. Yes, not grieving over giving can be someone else's first steps (yeesh!). Nevertheless, which ever the case, these are baby steps. If there is still a frustration as far as what was aforementioned, you should think twice about accepting a date for the purposes of marriage. If giving frustrates you now, marriage will have you climbing the walls! If love is not an acceptable defense to someone who has offended you, how then can you say you love God when these are mere basic building blocks (1 Corinthians 13:4-8 KJV) ? How can you accept or offer and invitation to date for the purposes of marriage when you haven't regularly practiced love (1 John 4:20 KJV)? Again, frustration at attempting to answer that question is indicative of the flesh still operating instead of having it dead at the cross (Galatians 5:24-25 KJV).
This would also be true feeling challenged when romantic attempts have been refused. Whether the aggressor is the man or woman, it would be that red flag telling you that this person is not the one. Whether the one being refused can use the excuse that he/she was testing you to see how strong you are, you must still do what is right. God is the one that does the testing (1 Thessalonians 2:4 AMP). Anyone else will be faulty in their judgement or when he/she falls will call it a mistake. Also, if testing is the excuse, it tells you that he/she believes to be strong in this area of romance and will not be tempted themselves. How else can someone test lest they have been tested and have passed? It is why Jesus said to the men at the ready to stone the woman for committing adultery, "Let him without sin, cast the first stone." (John 8:1-11 KJV) How can someone test anyone else with something that they just as well may have fallen into? Truth be told, its another red flag.
Now here is a question. When he/she has refused the romantic advances, what will the other do with those sexual feelings? Will those feelings be done away with because of the refusal and therefore the mood has been broken or will there be an alternative recourse? Prayer or something else? Personally, I would think it is an excellent first date question so the boundaries are made without any confusion later (1 Corinthians 14 33 KJV). How the conversation proceeds thereafter would also be interesting. Is there silence. Hm, sounds like a red flag.
Ah, for those new to the dating process and have not quite figured out what a red flag is, let me clarify: DANGER! Do Not Proceed! RUN!
But he/she is so cute and we would have beautiful children together.
Uh-huh, yet we walk by faith (2 Corinthians 5:7 KJV). If God tells you the stove is hot you don't have to touch it to see if it is the truth. He sees the heart of people - you don't, especially if eye candy takes precedence over common sense. Keep in mind just as He created that beautiful but carnal person, there are millions of others and few of them keep Him first before anything else (Matthew 22:37 KJV). This is what you look for (those few) and will find only if you prioritize correctly.
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