During the holidays, family members gather around for food, fellowship, and fun. There are those times when the festivities come to a drone and certain members start to really talk to catch up with one and another to see how everything has been. Someone got a promotion while another just finished college and going on to get a Master's degree or better yet, their PhD. Some adulate while others turn green with envy. You have the-use-to-be-gorgeous cousin has now gained a few with children and was jilted once again but she's bouncing back slowly but surely. And then you've got the screw up that finally got his head out of the sand, decided on a career, and did something about it. At hearing the news, you take a deep sigh of relief that prayers have finally been answered... and then you listen to the rest of the review. He choose a career that he is interested in and would truly be a part of the corporate world. He has his own place and has been paying his bills regularly (Proverbs 27:23 AMP). That news is a godsend for sure. Then that little piece of him having a steady relationship for some years but has no designs of marriage was added on like a finished accessory to a garment. It wasn't really necessary but just thrown out there. What? It was like a rip in the hose and you don't have another pair. The whole outfit has to be changed. Everything else said was like noise. Cousin Whosoever and Auntie Whatshername's news were just in the wind. How can anyone attach themselves to another for years and do nothing to solidify a commitment?
In an earlier post entitled, He's A Good Guy, But..., there's made mention of men deciding after so many years on a mate and bringing her home to meet the parents. The parents are either pleased with whom he has chosen or will tell him later (if at all) why she isn't the one. It isn't heard of that they will ever tell the young woman that their son is a piece of crap and she should run to get away from him....but I will. I don't recall if I ever wrote that in the post mentioned but I have written this before and would hope that all parents that truly believe Jesus is Lord will do the same. If your child refuses to do what is right but would still like to have the benefits of marriage without the commitment to do so, give the young lady a heads up...if she is really young or doesn't have the good sense God gave her. She needs the help and you wouldn't wish for such the young man on your daughter (Romans 12:17 AMP). So extend that love and do the same for someone else's daughter (Matthew 5:48 AMP). It doesn't matter that he has an excellent job and seems to care for her. The fact that he has taken all of this girl's time and goodies (you know what I mean) to assist in whatever he was doing but won't take the next step is called triflin'.
The actual word is trifling but the 'g' was taken off to add emphasis on the ghetto behavior and the act of moving aside Christian training for carnality. Nevertheless, the woman also has a voice. She doesn't have to continue putting up with such a person who doesn't consider "her favors" as anything worthy of a more stable commitment. She has allowed herself to be cheapened in the hopes that eventually he will see the light and do the right thing. When the relationship goes into 3-8 (or more) years, doing the right thing is not on his mind (Romans 8:6-8 AMP).
In a Women's Conference at the ministry I use to attend, there was a Q and A forum with the First Lady and the female ministers on panel to answer any questions the congregation might have. One of the questions that came up was from a woman. She asked how long should a woman allow for a man to keep her in a relationship before she decides that he isn't going to do anything. She divulged, at the time, that she has been engaged to this man for 8 years. The forum was interesting because we were all thinking the same thing but the answer had to be delicate enough so not to discourage this believer or anyone else listening who might be in the same circumstance and at the same time give sound advise according to the word. Some of the panel didn't need to be on the panel. There was too much eye rolling and neck jerking without saying one thing (Galatians 5:13-15 AMP). The hearts of the people weren't on their minds; however, the First Lady took the question and told the young woman to ask him what are his plans. If his plans don't include being married, let him go. The pastor, the following Sunday also added, that the man has taken this woman off the market for anyone else to be interested in her. He claimed her as his own and then when he was finished with what he had to do, he makes the decision that marriage isn't for him. Meanwhile the man she was created for, saw her, noticed the engagement ring and moved on. It is selfish of any man to ask a woman to marry him and then not follow through on the commitment. If you aren't sure, don't propose! In my perspective, agreeing with aforementioned, and also adding if she is giving up the goods, she is just as triflin' as he is and they both deserve each other. Seriously, how can you expect Prince Charming if you are acting like Cinnamon Twist on Second and Woodward (in Detroit where prostitutes frequent)? How can you expect Cinderella if you act like Cinnamon Twist's pimp about to smack her if she doesn't do more to earn her keep (Philippians 2:3 AMP)?
I watched a man today, and as I have seen him do over and over again wheel his wife from one place to another in a wheel chair. She looks to have MS. He is with her for the most part of the day, even when grocery shopping he takes her with him. He could have put her in a nursing home or hired a nurse to be with her as he did whatever his heart desired. What did she do, say, pray to have that man so devoted to her? What's also funny is, he looks happy (Proverbs 20:7 AMP). As much work as it has to be to care for her, he looks happy. I asked God, what happened to those sorts of men with character, integrity, discipline, honor, and know that the blessing of the Lord has made him rich beyond measure? I wait patiently for His answer.