Do we as Christians know what that role is? The role of a woman. Has the clear definition been blurred by taking on so many other positions that her identity has no distinct path anymore? To hear certain pastors preach this role, you would think we never got it right - ever! From not wearing the right thing to keep our man to wearing the thing that attracts every other man. From being too strict with raising the children to not allowing for your children to be your friend. From having a career to assist with the income to being blamed for not being home more often. When does it end? When is it alright just to be the woman God created us to be?
And then when we are happy with the skin we are in, we start dating and out of nowhere he says, he wants 12 children and that wasn't in your plans. Or he likes big butts and yours don't have enough junk. Or he likes for your hair to be natural and you have a perm. Or he would rather live in some third world country and you like the peace where you are. When will there be a place where the both of you can agree without you as a woman having to do back flips for him to be happy. Did you ever think, if you start doing back flips for him in the dating stage, you will constantly be doing back flips - forever?
I listened to a pastor describe the volunteers in the church. He wasn't saying anything different that I haven't heard so many times before. He was hoping at the next event, he wouldn't see the same people doing all of the work. He asked the congregation to be more giving of their time and volunteer for increased attendance as well as beautifying the building. The congregation seemed to agree; however, after 2 events the volunteer status dwindled back to the same small loyal group members. They smiled only too pleased to be of assistance. There were about 5 (maybe 7, at the most). All of them had more then 3 positions in various parts of the church doing the best job they could possibly do. The pastors and their wives always made mention of them from time to time and thanked God for them. Their thanks and occasional praise didn't put food on their table. It didn't keep their spouse from being angry from not having him/her there at home. Their thanks didn't keep their children from missing them. It didn't finish the laundry, check the homework, cook dinner, vacuum the floors, clean behind the toilet, balance the checkbook, or wait for the cable guy to finally show up. Did God honor their service? Was He pleased with all that they were doing seemingly for the ministry? Did the time they were sacrificing line up with being obedient? If so, who was she being obedient to (1 Peter 3:2 AMP) ?
The dissatisfaction of others cannot be our obligation to make them satisfied. We, as mothers, might take on that role to keep our children happy, but we know there is a limit to that or they will become spoiled (for lack of a better word) believing that the world owes them something. Children learn from disappointments, oddly enough. So why then do we not remember this in ministry, on our jobs, and yes, even when dating?
There is this word that faith filled women don't use as often as they should. This word that keeps peace and shows to those that take advantage, you love yourself. This word shows you don't have some identity crisis and aren't desperate in showing to others how much you really love the Lord. This one simple word that keeps children from bickering trying to get their own way and keeps your house running like the well oiled machine that it used to be. This one word pushes away the mysticism of comfort food nullifying stress and puts God back in the position of being the head of you. What's that one word? That very special word that keeps you from doing all of those back flips hoping that eventually he'll ask you to marry him. Oddly enough, that one word is, no.