Chivalry

Long before I knew what the word meant, people used to say, "chivalry is dead." No one exclaimed otherwise, so it was assumed to be fine. Let it go. When understanding that it is a good attribute for men to have, there would have been some opposition; but it was too late, People were fine with it being dead...that is, until they need it.

As you know, if you have read any of these blog entries, I do people watching and am usually surprised at some of the things seen. At the parking lot of a grocery store, a young man got out of the car and came to the other side to open the door for a young lady. He seemed to be making fun of a mannerism that has fallen by the way side. But then he held out his bent elbow. It was in wonderment, what was he doing that for? The young lady looked at him as if something was wrong until she noticed his elbow held out for her. She smiled, put her hand through the opening and held fast to his arm. My immediate reaction was, "aww!" Not sarcastic until they came back to the car and he was trying to kiss her, to wit my reaction became, "oh, first date (or the morning after having sex)." Making a good first impression is the title of a different entry (view it here). What this young man was doing is not new. His intentions were mundane and you would think the young lady would have seen his advances as insulting. Why? Because he is not looking for a relationship or anything long termed. Here is what isn't ordinary: she might not want a long term relationship either. Yeah, think on that one.

Last summer in the apartment complex where I reside, there was this woman ranting at a few police

officers that had been called to the scene. The man had a baby in his arm but also holding the baby by the ankle. She had given the baby to this man as the police took her away in hand cuffs (Romans 13:1-7 AMP). I didn't know what happened nor did I want to know. The complex has always been quiet and never had I ever had to call the police or seen the police called. Fast forward 6 months. I see this same young woman screaming at someone in the driver's seat of an old modeled car. She looks like she wants to drive but who ever is sitting there is not allowing her to do so. She yells that she hates the driver and stomps over to the passenger's side and gets in the car. Understand, when  I pulled into the parking lot, that car had been sitting at the entrance of the building waiting for this woman. Anyway, the passenger side door is slammed shut and they are on their way out of the parking lot...until the car screeches to a halt. The passengers side door opens and the previously yelling woman is kicked out of the car (actually) onto the street pavement. She topples out looking at the driver and is surprised that the door gets closed before she can get up to stop him from screeching off, to wit she yells, "No you aren't going to leave me...what? Ok...ok...wait till you get back. I'll have something for you." Then she mumbled something inaudible. I was trying to get myself and packages in my building before she crossed my path again. I couldn't move fast enough (Proverbs 21:9 AMP)!

Alright, how about this one? A single woman in an apartment building of a dozen apartments heard a knock on the door. Not trusting the security in the building she did not open the door but asked, who it was. The voice replied a man's name and asked if he could use her laundry card because his card was tapped out. Thinking that it be an odd thing for a stranger to select some random apartment to essentially beg for money, the woman replied that she uses the laundromat rather than the machines in the building. With that information, the man presumably left and the woman called the building manager to complain of the annoyance. The building manager said there was such a man as she named him in her building and the manager agreed that it was like begging for money. However, to anyone else who has come to introduce themselves properly, would have seen it as one neighbor needing another. Fast forward, months later, the single woman noticed how difficult it was getting to enter the front door of her building. The door or lock would stick but this time, the key would not turn to open the door. The woman turned around to see if there was any maintenance in the vicinity to call. She saw that there was a man sitting in his car in the parking lot parked not too far from the woman. She recognized the man as the one who had asked for her laundry card a few months earlier when she had not known anyone in the building. She tried to get his attention to see if he is able to get in the building but saw that he was looking directly at her and made the decision for the woman to fend for herself. It wasn't until another occupant from the building also came and saw the dilemma. She said she had the same problem earlier and figured a way to get in. The man who had been watching the entire time, remained in his car until he saw the door was being opened from the inside through no efforts of his own or tried to make it easier for anyone else.

What has happened? Where do these women come from? Are they born with all of this attitude with demands or is there a catalyst that grows slowly so she won't notice that she sounds like she has some mental illness. Does every woman with an attitude have mental illness or is there a root of a problem that can be resolved. Do you see where I am going with this?

I find it hard to understand why men think this is man-bashing rather than a means to reflect the changes society has, should not change believers. Aren’t we supposed to do what is right no matter what?

I am writing an anthology for my children because my relatives that have passed away took secrets with them and I don’t intend to continue the cycle. Also, for them to see when asking me why did I do this or that, I tell them, the reason they have not repeated my actions of ignorance and immaturity is because I taught them habits that made them make better decisions. A small portion of an entry is describing my first date with my father. He opened the car door coming in and going out. He held my hand in the cleft or his arm going into a building, he held the door open coming and going. He held the chair for me to sit in and stood when I'd excused myself to use the ladies' room. He said taking me on a date was for me to know not to expect anything less when going on a date as an adult woman. The problem was, who was doing the things my father did naturally with my mother? He was the only one I saw doing that other than his relatives. Where were theses guys that stood in the gap of protection when walking on the side walk? I won’t write about settling or lowering my expectations, I will remind you of the entry, Slim Pick'ns and how I wish I knew then what I know now. It’s supposed to look like there are no good men left, so you can see him when he finds you.

I like watching old black and white movies. The story teller leaves much to the imagination and it can be appreciated while enjoying the plot unravel to its fullest extent. We also see where men were regarded as the protectors of the nuclear family and they took their position seriously. What if men thought of their role in this manner: God created man in His image. If man were to protect a women as he used to do, is he imitating God habitually? Standing in the gap of danger along the street and making sure when she comes to the door, he sees in front of her that she is not in danger and is standing behind her to cover her as well; like an everyday super hero. Just wondering. Wouldn't it have been nice if that's what he had been doing all of this time and women didn't appreciate it just like some people treat Jesus now? I'm so glad Jesus maintained and followed through. Aren't you?