Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Gentlemen, I am going to tell you like I told my sons...

I have met many men who are interested in marriage. They have a certain criteria by which they already know what type of wife would be ideal for them. I am amazed at how many young men even form the words out of their mouths that they are looking for a woman to take care of them (1 is too many). Essentially, they are saying without saying that they are looking for a Mommy to sleep with. Yuck!

My question to all of the young men I have counseled over the years (including my sons). Why would you incorporate someone into your mess? Invariably, the answer would be (not my sons, they know better), "God created woman for the man and she is supposed to be the help mate." I would sigh and agree for it is the Word and thank God they know that much of it. I just wonder why do they skip over that the man is supposed to love his wife as Christ loved the church (Ephesians 5:25 AMP). If you recall, He sacrificed His life for her. Now what gentlemen? Are you willing to do that? And then there would be what you are hearing right now - utter silence.

Men (as well as women looking to be a wife) should be able to walk in love in all aspects of life. You are suppose to be able to pass all of the tests God gave you when He was trying your heart (1 Chronicles 29:17 KJV). You are supposed to be able to stand the test of patience and smile about it (James 1:4 KJV). The wailing you do because it is just taking too long means that you decided not to pass the test and it feels better just to wail.

There are certain aspects that must be in place even before asking any woman on a date. Ask yourself these questions:
1. Is your spiritual life up to par (meditating on the Word day and night, praying unceasingly, cohesive relationship with God)?
2. Do you have a job with benefits that can support you and your wife (even if she is working [1 Timothy 5:8 AMP])?
3. Do you have 6 months salary in the bank (in case the company downsizes)?
4. Do you have your own car (debt free)?
5. Are you finished with your education (Hosea 4:6 KJV)?
6. Do you have your own home (out of your parent's house)?

If you cannot resound yes to all of the questions, you have no reason in looking for a woman to struggle in your mess. How selfish are you to put another person in a life you can't manage (Proverbs 25:28 KJV). How dare you!!!

I told my sons if they find "the one" bring her to me. I will tell if she is trying to trick him or not. But if I find that she is a Christian woman with the heart for God and love my son without my son having those aforementioned things above, I will tell her with no studder to run and leave my son alone. I would not wish mess on my child why would I wish it on a parent who raised their child right and the child listened and obeyed?

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