Friday, September 24, 2010

Ladies, Could This Ever Happen To You?

Over the years of counseling and seeing the behavior of many couples, now and again I think about them and say a prayer over them, hoping that all turned out well and whatever the issue that was revealed never comes back. Usually the issue came from the root of selfishness. Once revealed there was a collective sigh of relief, but without the practice of the love God commands from us all, the issue will return and with a vengeance (Luke 11:21-26 KJV). Why? Because God is not mocked (Galatians 6:7 KJV).

Nevertheless, when writing this blog, I had to narrow the scenario to one to make it a clear vision for not only you but for men to view as well. It can be a warning or a means to have that discerning eye so not to fall in the same trap.

A young couple married and were so in love when they did. Nothing could come between them. They didn't wait to create their family and as usual with a couple of impatience, there comes financial difficulty. They had a plan where they would both work, but neither had an education further then high school. No longer do people say that their love will carry them through. It now sounds so hippy and relatively stupid - especially if your kind of love isn't the God kind of love (1 Corinthians 13:3-8 AMP). Be as it were, the economy got the best of them. Downsizing was happening everywhere and by this time they had five small children. He had been terminated from so many jobs but still managed to find something. She, had the plan to be a teacher but because of the children, decided to stay home and be a Mom. Money became so tight that there wasn't enough to pay the rent and car that they both (supposedly needed). He drove a kluncker and she had the new mini van for all of her children.

To keep both cars, he decided to do the only thing he could think of and move back in with his mother. His mother accepted him and his family but didn't like it at all. It didn't take long before he was in the middle of so many arguments between his mother and his wife. It got to be so tormenting for him that he pushed his wife out of his way and left them all there to sort it out for themselves.

The mother had a field day with her daughter in law so much so, without her husband to take the brunt of all of the nagging, she had to leave. She and her children moved to a shelter. She explained to whomever would listen that she didn't know why her husband left, but if he didn't return soon, she would be filing for a divorce. Her husband and she did talk on the phone to patch things up. They even sought marital counseling. At the end, the husband agreed for the divorce even though she was bluffing. His reasoning was that his wife was just a nasty woman. She never did anything. The reason why she never went to get that teaching degree was that she expected to be taken care of. She never had a plan for a career. Her career was in his plan.

She was embarrassed at what her husband revealed. She didn't care to hear anymore of it. She gathered her children and headed for the parking lot fussing all of the way. He watched her, not moving or caring that she was leaving. As she unlocked and opened the sliding door to place her youngest in the car seat, an inordinate amount of garbage spilled out. She continued to fuss as she buckled the child in with one hand, picked up the refuse with the other, and packed it back in the floor of the van. "What?" she exclaimed,  "everyone who has children has a little mess to clean up!"

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