Monday, November 29, 2010

Out of Your League?

What does that mean? Is there ever a person that would be out of your league? Before going on with this blog, think about that for a moment. It has been said too often out there in the world, but have you incorporated that foolish thinking into your lifestyle? And what does God think about that way of thinking? Who is really out of your league? Does this feeling impede your Christian maturity? Is God pleased with you for categorizing people in a way that He doesn't? Did He need you for that?

Understandably the way women feel about this question as opposed to men are two different components. Women still have to realize like it or not that there is a double standard. As my mother would tell me, "if a man pees in the street, he can zip up his pants and still be called Mister. If a woman pees in the street she will be known as the woman who peed in the street." Instead of fighting so much to be equal with those that have sown wild oats, cheated and mistreated others - let's just be pleased with being women who can do and get paid for a lot more than we use to. We don't have to prove that we can walk around shirtless and pee standing up too. With that out of the way, let's see who is out of a woman's league -if there be anyone.

Women have been intimidated by other women because of the way we treat each other. It has either been because of stereotypical views of people in certain socio-economic status or because of experience and just not taking the chance of possibly being hurt, misused, or berated. Oddly enough these same feelings are also towards men and relationships only in reverse. Women would prefer that 6 figure income and riding in a Benz rather than the pizza guy in a Fiesta. She was taught at a young age with Cinderella. Even the washer girl can get the prince. Then it is further propagated with the film "Pretty Woman." Is it possible for a hooker to get a man from Wall Street and he fall in love with her? Really? So a woman can live any sort of life and still come out smelling like a rose? How many women fell for that myth and now single with extra mouths to feed and still waiting for that Wall Street mogul?

Men have a different outlook on a woman who went and got the education, worked the career, and lived the life style she labored for. He either has to raise the bar in his own life or come to terms and accept a woman who is less than what he would really like to have. Know this acceptance will back fire to the point of him not only hating himself for compromising his dreams but resenting the woman he settled for. It would be a miserable life and it is up to one or the other to ask enough questions to see that the hopes and dreams of the other is being fulfilled - that's in a marriage.

If a man or woman decides to try to date someone who is not in the same socio-economic class, get ready to get your feelings hurt. The reason for this is the same as a pigeon trying to be an eagle. There will never be a way for the pigeon to get the same height, swoop to catch the same sort of prey, or be disciplined to stay with the same mate for life. The principles just aren't there. The thing with people, if willing, he/she is able to be taught and continue to be determined to get there. There is a saying that you can take the girl/guy from the hills (ghetto, trailer park, street, gutter) but you can't take the hills (ghetto, trailer park, street, gutter) out of the girl/guy. That's not the Word; yet if you believe that sort of saying, you will never be set free from those fears of always being out the league of another. Recall that what is impossible to man is possible with God.

I wrote about this woman who was upset when speaking to me after church services before. We were headed to the parking lot to leave the building when she burst with angry ramblings of how men in the church we were attending act as if the women should be falling to their feet or that the women were too uppity for them so they went to other churches to find wives and brought them back to the church they are currently attending. I was fascinated with her findings - even though her emotion seemed to be pinpointed on one man. As she continued on, I couldn't help but to be pleased that our pastor saw what women were going through and had the foresight to teach them what they needed to know so they could be aware of the wolves that come to a church and prey on women who seemed desperate to do anything to be married. So with this new found knowledge, instead of her being pleased that God has kept her from the derelicts and dregs of society, she is pouting not to have been hooked up with one? Huh?

One of my favorite passages in the bible is the Rich Young Ruler (Mark 10:17-22 AMP). It is absolutely intriguing to me how Jesus said that the certain man was doing well with all he knew of the Word but the one thing he could do was sell all he had and give to the poor. Would that also be as profound if Jesus told this certain man this while in the midst of poor people? This man with all that he has is walking amongst those without and still pleased with himself in knowing all that he does about being the righteousness of God, yet the one thing asked of him, he simply walked away grieved because of what? Was the Epitomizer of righteousness asking him too much to do? Would this deed be too much in order for him to make it to heaven? Was the task out of his league?

And so the question be posed again. To women, would she be engaged in a relationship with a man who has less than she has? Would he be ambitious enough to meet her standard? Would she be able to live below what she is use to? Does God call her to do this?

And does this apply to men in asking this same question again? Would he engage in a relationship with a woman who has less then he does? Boaz did it in pursuing Ruth, King Ahaserus did when marrying Esther, and King David with Bathsheba, all of which are in the lineage of Jesus. It is quite interesting when the double standard is in the different direction and in Christianity - isn't it?

Be as it may, it doesn't take from the scripture, be not unequally yoked with unbelievers (2 Corinthians 6:14 AMP). As long as there is an understanding of his vision and she is anointed to be not any wife but specifically his wife - being out of anyone's league is only in the mind of a child. Selah.

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