Friday, November 5, 2010

What Kind of Help Are you Looking For?

I don't have vast experience like so many others, but God has made me privy to learn so many things without experiencing them. He has placed me at events, in line with crowds of people, and at specific areas, to hear and witness conversations or statements that have either been a travesty or has left me asking God for clarity as to why a man would do such things to bone of his bone and flesh of his flesh.

I know what I went through as a married woman and would never tell a woman not to marry. With the right person, marriage is a wonderful institution. However, having written that, God did give us good sense to make sure that the person we have committed and submitted our lives to have practiced the love of Christ for quite some time so when the tests come the act of doing as the Holy Spirit does is not foreign to him/her.

A man was at home caring for his children while his pregnant wife was out with some friends. They were struggling financially having just bought their first house and trying their best to make it a home. While his wife was out enjoying the company of her friends, she saw in a residential area, some people had discarded rolls of carpet foam. The wife knew that her carpet was in her house still rolled waiting for her husband to be able to afford the carpet batting. She stopped the car and opened the trunk to haul four rolls of carpet batting in the car. When she brought them home, her husband wasn't upset that she was hauling the heavy bails in her condition. He praised her for thinking about the family and making life easier for him. He often encouraged her by saying that back in the day women used to have babies and keep on working to provide for the family.

Another man praised his wife for being able to work a night shift as a nurse, come home cook meals, wash clothes, and keep a clean house only to get up after a few hours of sleep to do it all again the next day.

This third man who doesn't look at all pleasant but has a pleasant disposition married a homely woman. He is happy with her. She birthed him four children. He does the cleaning, laundry, cooks and provides for his family all throughout their marriage. She has a comedic personality and he is fine with it.

Which of these three situations (all are true) would you fit in? Do you see yourself here or have you been there? How do you think these marriages fared? What has happened to the health of the men? What has happened to the health of the women? Can you speculate? Is it obvious?

The bible calls the woman the weaker sex and yet in Proverbs 31, she is anything but weak (1 Peter 3:7 AMP). How would you use these verses and be pleasing to God? Can you abuse her ability to be able to help you knowing that God formed her to enjoy the abundant life as well? What  does a man expect from his wife? What is the wife willing to do?

In those three scenarios, none of the marriages fared well. The first marriage ended in divorce. No matter what, he was always expecting her to go beyond what she was able to do when he wasn't willing to do the same himself. His health, if he listens to the medical professionals, is not what abundant life consists of. His wife raised her children and went back to school and established a career.

The second scenario, the husband went home to be with the Lord. His wife continued with the regiment that he trained her to do and was told on her job that she needed to go to a doctor because her face had twisted. She was so busy doing her regular schedule, she didn't listen nor did she realize that she was having a stroke. She is on meds and believing God for a total recovery. Though she makes reference back when she was married missing her husband, she has no desire (according to her) to marry again.

And lastly, the third marriage sustained the growth  of their children and they are still together after over 50 years. She may tell jokes about her husband amongst others, but she seems submissive to him in private. He watches over and seems genuinely concerned about her health and well being. I don't know what she has done for him other than birth his children, but it isn't for me to know. Health wise, he seems the picture of it. She has had some falls and a few surgeries.

What does this tell you?

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