Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Raising Your Standards

This is not a women's lib or feminism post. We already know, as believers, where women stand and what we must do to keep the integrity of that position. Is there a double standard as to what women can do if one would compare that standard to the world? With life being my choice, what the world does is superfluous to me. However, having to live amongst those who might still have those sort of beliefs or some who have not come into the complete knowledge of the truth, the temptation of wanting more then what has already been handed to me can sometimes show itself (2 Timothy 3:6-8 AMP). Recall when the serpent caused the woman to question who she was - already a god (Genesis 3:1-7 KJV).

It is why I am writing this post. Yes, it is addressed to women, but there are some single men who have daughters that still need to learn these same lessons. When I was dating in my 20's, the Christian men enjoyed using the scripture that the woman is subservient to the man. It was them constantly reminding that she has to be obedient and it seemed there was no getting around that. In fact, I do recall being so frustrated with this discovery and not having any ammunition to hit back (Ephesians 6:10-12 AMP). I had to sit there in silence or say something that had absolutely nothing to do with the subject at hand or nothing to do with the Word. It was mostly in retaliation and because the guy relished in that frustration, I didn't choose to date, receive calls, or speak to him any longer. He might have been testing to see if I was wife material. I am glad I was not his good thing.

Later, I knew I was going to have to deal with that frustration and where it was coming from (Haggai 1:5-7 AMP). Was it the ideals of the world? Was it because the men that were testing me really weren't the men I should have been dating and therefore my peace was disturbed? Or was it that I needed to be more mature in the things of God before I could date for the purposes of marriage? I took it before the Lord and started to meditate on the Word more then I ever had before.

Mature men of God have a certain standard already knowing what they are looking for in a wife.Their discussion with the One that created him (because he is mature) could have been one where he listens and agrees with what he heard or one with a list of all the things he likes. He could be looking for someone with the right kind of measurements or the right kinds of numbers in her savings account. He has some idea what help he needs for the tasks that he is assigned to do. He believes he is mature or he could actually be, and that's where women come in to envelope the standard he hopes that she has, or she can raise her standard making him meet it or move on.

I listened to my now grown sons with what they wish for in a wife. After giving them life lessons based on the Word of God, I was fascinated with how they interpreted those lessons coupled with the influences of other sermons and people that they admire. I was surprised to hear at least two of the four speak about subservience. When I mentioned the women of back in day and how they ran around the dining area during church dinners trying to serve their men and making sure their husbands were satisfied before they could sit and eat themselves, I hadn't finished my statement before I heard them resound how much they liked that and couldn't wait before they could have wives to do that for them too. Appalled was not the word for what I was feeling about what they were saying. I blamed myself for not removing them from such spectacles without explanation when they were younger. I knew I had to do some damage control. I explained the way things used to be and why women did that in the church back then. The look on their faces could only be described as eyes glazed over. There was only one way to break them free from the bondage they were going to put someone's daughter through. I took out the Word of God.

The scripture they were clinging to with both fists as tight as they could, like some neanderthal, was the one about wives submit to your husbands (Ephesians 5:22 KJV). I read it aloud and they all nodded. I paused and read the scripture just before that one. Though they frowned, it was undeniable having been raised in church, it could not be disputed (Ephesians 5:21 KJV). Because of the two being one and mature in Christ to be in agreement, the two must submit to each other. If there are two opinions that are in conflict, then she must submit to what her husband decides to do (Ephesians 5:23 KJV). There is no frustration because she raised her standard for him to be so close to God in order for love to abound. He is not only looking out for his own well being but is considerate of her first (and she is considerate of him).

You see, it is time out for the desperation to be with someone who doesn't meet the minimum standard of being a Christian with some sort of signs and no remnant of wolf fur showing through. Just because he claims to be a born again believer doesn't mean that he is. Just because he can quote scripture doesn't mean he believes what he is saying. Just because you see him in the pew every Sunday doesn't mean he believes what is being said to him. When a man knows that you aren't desperate because you have become confident with who you are in Christ, he will either move on because you require more then he is (unequally yoked) or know he will have to prove who he is in Christ. This is the place where you would like to be. He isn't compromising your principles or moral code by giving you an ultimatum to prove your love for him and you don't have to be scared that he will find love else where. Think about it this way, the serpent would have never had a chance influencing Eve if she had studied what had been said to her. She didn't have the materials, the ammunition, or the instruction to do so. You do. Look how good God is.

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