It is astounding when hearing people say why they would like to be married. There is a myriad of reasons that sound good but upon interrogation, one will see the real root and the true intent. It is rare that I hear a man say that he needs help and just as rare to hear a woman say that she is willing to sacrifice whatever she has to in order to be pleasing to God (Romans 14;17-19 AMP). Just do a selah right there for a moment.
There was this man, years ago, that I thought God used me for presentation to him as his good thing. I had already been through a marriage and promised to God that I would never put myself through anything like that again. I assented that I would be content in whatever state that I am in thereafter. Then there was this man and I said to myself, "I wasn't looking to get married - but let God's will be done." The fact that he was easy on the eyes also helped - heaps! So I got busy and started praying using Stormie O'Martin's book, The Power of a Praying Wife. Diligent in those prayers is an under statement (1 Timothy 2:2-4 AMP). I was adamant about never getting into the situation I was in before. I knew that the prayers of the righteous avails much and my faith was at work doing what the Word says it will do. I waited for him to approach and then I had this thought that I believed came from the Lord: Would you have prayed as fervently, if he were for someone else? First, I should have tested the thought before I answered it but I didn't know any better back then (1 John 4:1-3 AMP). What I began to do was reflect on my intentions and see my heart (Proverbs 4:25-27 AMP). I allowed myself to see if this man could be for anyone else and if my prayers would have been as ardent. In being honest, I knew they wouldn't have been. I also started to get perturbed with how long I had been praying for this man....and he was for someone else? Seriously, are you kidding me? Over a certain period of time, him approaching me was extremely vague as I was to him. But alone or passing each other in the halls, him flirting with me was blatant. From winking at me to being fidgety around me - he even skipped when he was around the corner and didn't think I saw him. He opened the door for me and as I went through I heard him make that sound that men do - you know what I mean. Because of these flirtatious acts, I remained patient for him to speak to me properly. I waited and waited...and then, without warning, he was gone. No one knew what happened but there were plenty of rumors. After sometime, I had to ask God forgiveness and repent. He saw what was in this man's heart (1 Samuel 16:7 AMP) - I didn't.
There was this other man that sat behind me in church services and was my supervisor in volunteering for a specific auxiliary in the church. He would encourage the other volunteers with a word from the Lord and other testimonials. There was this one testimony in particular that he blessed me with when he was presented a wife. God had made the presentation to him and before they started dating he found that she was having a difficult time with her finances. She was so deep in debt that it was stressing her out with her daily tasks. He sat with her and started to work a financial plan with her. He then would check back to see if she was following the plan. It was a short time later that she was completely out of debt. This blessed me to hear especially when what was being taught was for the man to do and investigation on her before putting on the ring. Not to see if she had been with other men or that her health could be of a detriment to him, but for him to see if her credit would ruin his. I needed to hear this man's testimony. It was like seeing God sitting there with Adam and his wife stitching clothes together to cover the nakedness that Adam said he had (Genesis 3:21 AMP). This man provided covering for this woman and when she adhered to instruction, they were both blessed. They have been married for a number of years now and have a ministry of their own.
The thing is about both testimonials, I didn't know anything about this man and my former supervisor didn't know anything about that woman other then this is what thus says the Lord. The Word does tell us to guard our hearts for out of it comes the issues of life (Proverbs 4:23 AMP). I always regarded that verse as a warning because we come to learn the compassion of Christ and envelope it. We then get a passion for the things that He is passionate about - people. When we do, we have to learn not to become so emotionally involved. This takes instruction and Wisdom to keep it. In dating, if we don't recognize the difference from the flesh, lust, and the voice of God we might as well get ready for a lot of heart ache and pain. It is inevitable without Him. It is called lack. It is the a form of death that we were warned about in Deuteronomy (30:19 AMP).
It is written, for the love of money is the root of all evil (1 Timothy 6:10 AMP). With that scripture in mind, can you see my former supervisor, that was previously mentioned, re-route his own path if he concerned himself of how her credit would affect his? If he loved his money so much and how her debt would mess up all of his hard work, he could have lost out on the blessing that has him with more wealth then the numbers listed in his bank account.
If I made the aggressive move towards that man knowing that I had been presented to him and he was taking his time about it, can you see how what I wanted rather then patience having her perfect work could have been to my detriment? Whatever he did in his life from the time God made the presentation to the time he no longer attended church services in that ministry was something I was glad not to be a part of. My peace did not have to be troubled with whatever he decided to go through (Isaiah 26:3 KJV).
When we acknowledge Him in all of our ways, He will direct our path (Proverbs 3:6 KJV). Women have more of a task to be vigilant in her prayers because in accepting an invitation to date for the purposes of marriage is actually making that man the head of her. Is she willing for him to be making the major decisions in the household? Is he equip to have that responsibility? Does he desire to have that responsibility or is he finding a way not to burn (1 Corinthians 7:9 KJV)? Is she willing to sacrifice her Kingdom in order to extinguish that burn (Matthew 6:33 KJV)?
Men should be raised to be heads of state. Whether it was in the home or not, if they are going to church regularly, God is a Father to the fatherless (Psalm 68:5 KJV). He will be there to meet that need. If men adhere to instruction and be diligent with what has been given him to do, the need will be met along with the blessing to follow (Proverbs 10:17 AMP). Wouldn't a disciplined man receive a reward (Hebrews 10:35 KJV)? So when asking a woman for a date, what are you bringing to be the head of her? You can see what she is bringing - her body for you to be the head of. Can you see why she has to use more scrutiny then you? If you can, then you can also stop thinking that the more mature a woman is, the more attitude she has. Its not attitude, its memories from the past who claimed they had a good head on their shoulders too. What say you?