Sunday, May 6, 2012

Slim Pick'ns?

Way back when I was a teenager, I would listen to the older women talk about how minimal the choices were when they were in their twenties. They would say, "if the men aren't already married or gay, they're in prison." Then they would look at me and continue, "What are the men going to be like when you get ready to marry?" I wasn't really interested in marrying at the time, but what they were saying stuck, especially when I would hear World News Statistics about the ratio of men to women. Slim pick'ns indeed!

What was he thinking when he proposed?
What was the last generation of women thinking about when they decided to accept the proposals of marriage? If they thought there wasn't much to choose from then, they had to compromise what their perfect man was (Philippians 4:6 AMP). If they compromised then how great was marital life to them and how wonderful were the lives of the children with two people who had to be miserable?

In my current place of employment, I work with the geriatric community. I have never seen so many couples who have been married for 50 years and more. Some are still so much in love with the other person and others have learned to contend with their situation  - what else are they going to do at that age? In watching these couples, there is one man in particular that stood out to me. He had been married to his wife for over 35 years. One day he decides to have a discussion with administration. He was in tears. He explained that living with his wife is unbearable and he needs to get an apartment of his own. They continued to listen to his story and finally concedes to his request, unusual as it was. Can you imagine the surprise on his wife's face when he packed his things and moved to an apartment beneath her's? How much more shocked could she have been when he decided to woo a female resident a few years later? There his wife was trying to cope with the huge adjustment of her husband leaving her and as she goes through the lobby of the complex, she sees her husband serenading a resident of his new found interest. I was temporarily at a loss for words and kept the information on file in my mind thinking of a specific scripture - a few of them, actually.

Granted, his wife wasn't one of the most pleasant women I have ever met, but that was his choice (Deuteronomy 30:19 AMP). It wasn't like he was blind sighted for over 35 years! So when does a man compromise from his desires? When, with the ratio being what it is, does he just settle for the woman he is with rather then looking for - or better yet, waiting on God to present him with the ideal mate especially created for him (Genesis 2:20-22)?

Have you ever seen the show Bridezillas? I just couldn't believe the program was real and found it still entertaining as to why these women have friends at all. I watch these potential brides wreak havoc on the lives of the very people that she asked for them to be in her wedding. I watch these so called brides be the epitome of ugly to their potential grooms. And just when you think he is going to call the whole thing off, after the commercial, there they are exchanging vows. What makes any of them think that they are going to last until death or for that matter, the next 20 days? I ask the question because throughout the wedding process, there is nothing but arguing and he isn't surprised about it. This tells me that they have argued before during the dating process - and more then once. What also makes me think that the program isn't scripted is because a man cried. He cried! The bride badgered him until he broke down ... and cried. Why would he marry her after that? Why would she still marry him? Could she reverence him knowing that she could make him cry at the drop of a hat? Seriously, do you get this? HE CRIED!!!

Alright, lets get back in the gate and put some things into perspective as a true believer, dating for the purposes of marriage. First, praise God that the pickings are slim (1 Thessalonians 5:18 AMP)! This makes it easier to see what God is doing for you and the wolves can be seen so much more clearer. Wolves come in packs and are calculating when ready to pounce on their prey of choice. They usually target the weak. Though I have seen on Nature programs where the wolf pack will out run their prey for miles to exhaustion and then come in for the attack. It is absolutely fascinating especially if you look at it from a scriptural point of view (John 10:10-14 AMP). The predator likes to catch the victim off guard. He/she will make a statement or ask a question that will have you wondering where did that subject come from or why does he/she think like that. If you ever have to contort your expression trying to understand some craziness of the person you are dating, ask yourself if you compromised your ideals in a mate.

This is one of the reasons why I believe opposites don't attract. There are so many things waiting in the balance to argue about when you believe that it makes life more interesting to have absolutely nothing in common. If you solely base your relationship on sexual attraction, you have no one to blame but yourself when your Kingdom starts crashing around you. The opposite of you, being the righteousness of God through Christ Jesus, is someone who is unrighteous (or a sinner), someone who likes drama (lack of peace), someone who finds a disliking to all of the things you like (lack of joy) (Colossians 2:13-23 AMP). Really? Are you truly attracted to this type of person? Ask yourself this, are you willing to compromise any of the ingredients that make up your Kingdom (Romans 14:17 KJV)?

You do realize that people will change. Some mature faster then others and I do believe people can as easily fall into love as they can fall out it. If there is no practice to walk in it, then lust is misconstrued to mean chemistry, which is also interpreted as love at first sight. With that in mind, why would anyone rush into a life time contract, in the sight of God, without coming to terms with the One that created the individual? Do you think I am referring to the parent? While that is very respectable to get to know your perspective in laws, you don't know what those parents are thinking either. They could be thrilled that you finally took their lazy, mooch of a child off of their hands. Whether that child is their son or daughter, the parents know that they messed up in raising this child and happy that there is an unsuspecting person (you) that will pick up their mess having your entire life to assist in straightening him/her out. I wouldn't blame them for being so pleased; I would be too if I were that sort of parent.

You can't be surprised. God told us all that in the last evil days men would be lovers of themselves (2 Timothy 3:1-7 KJV). What do you think that means? Will he love his wife as Christ loves the church? No. Will she love her own husband and reverence him? No. Can't you see this is a place where the church needs to have a complete concentration and ministry on? No one needs to sow seed and bring a harvest from the product of that scriptural reference.

So you see, when time seems to be taking its everlastingly long for you to get that special person that would be a blessing to you and your home, it is best to deal with that frustration and evict him from your mind. God is working on some things. Let Him be the Almighty that He is. He has been there where you would be if He gave this person to you too soon. It wasn't peaceful, joyful, and righteousness was teetering. We went through so much to establish our Kingdom (Matthew 6:33 KJV). Don't compromise it for nothing. If the pickings are looking even more slim as the years pass - thank God (Matthew 7:13-20 KJV). Your time is soon approaching. Amen?

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