When do you believe it is the time to change for a man? When he tells you to? When you find that the things you do irritate him? When you are already married and there is nothing you do that seems to be right? When he takes his fist and beats you like he created you or has every right to retrain you different from your parents?
Tough questions? No what is tough is to hear the wrong answers. It is what I asked and heard as I counseled women who were victims of domestic violence. I know, I know there is no reason to get so deep on such a light matter as dating; afterall what Christian man who fears the Lord would do such a thing to someone else's daughter? Believe it or not, it happens and more so than we would care to think. The worst of it is the "Christian" label makes it more of a reason for it to be hush-hush. But I was thinking, the more I have seen in the church the way some people reason like the world, the more I wondered if there is some other mess that has filtered in with justification in the name of the Lord for women to be battered. Ladies, it is a fallacy and I am here to prove it to you.
We know that change comes from within. We know we had to do this in order for us to have a renewed mind. We know that man looks at the outward appearance but God sees the heart (1 Samuel 16:7 AMP). God demands for us to change so that we can receive abundant life. What is more He leads and guides us to all truth so we can be delivered, stay changed, and tell others so they can recieve as well. This would not be true if a man tells you that he would like for you to change your outfit everytime he sees you because you look like this or that and none of those things are comlimentary. If you have to change so much, what was it that caused him to be attracted to you in the first place?
You must realize as well, if all of the gifts and talents that God has given you prove to be of no use to him (because women are the help meet in a marriage), move on. God did not give you gifts for you to waste them. If this is too much for you to grasp then think of it this way: As the husband, he will be the lead in the household. He will designate who and what will be. If he doesn't use what God has given him to the best of his ability in order for God to receive a harvest, he is just like the man in the parable of talents that hid his talent for fear of what the master would do (Matthew 25:14-30 AMP). Understand the woman was created for man and not the other way around. So what you have, it has to be of assistance to him or he will be held accountable. To much is given much is required (Luke 12:48 AMP).
Here is the other aspect to that, if you agree to marry someone that requires so much change from you, you should know that you have missed out on the one that needed everything you possess and therefore missed out on the blessing God had for you. The man you married or continually date even though the warning signs are loud and clear, is also missing out on the perfect woman for him. He won't have to be irritated with someone who can never do anything right. Why put yourself or him through such an ordeal? Be delivered and know that there is only one man you need to change for and He has equiped you with all that you need in order for it to be done.
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