A young man has this fledgling relationship that he has dubbed her to his family as the one. He caters to her every whim and as most relationships are in the first year, it is incredible! She has a career and her focus is clear as to how to obtain her long range goals. The same is for him. but then, because of outstanding traffic tickets, the police stops this young man for the last time. He is taken to jail and his car is confiscated. He doesn't call his parents for bail but his incredible girlfriend who happens to be the one. When she comes to bail him out, of course, they have a discussion and more then likely find that it is the first time they discover some information he wasn't at all willing to divulge. A history of traffic tickets is a flaw. Finding that the tickets were because of non-registered plates, not having insurance, and a warrant for not appearing in court is also a means to reconsider one or two of those future goals. He might have discovered that she changed her plans when at a family gathering he calls her for a ride and she doesn't answer her cell phone for hours and even into the next day. If it were you, would you be worried, stressed, or anxious? How could you make the situation better? What is your mind focused on? It is obvious where your heart is?
Another young man in the ministry found his "good thing". She loves the Lord with all her heart, mind, and strength. His family loves her too. This young man tells his family that he is going to propose at a specific time and that he is just about finished paying off the ring. The elderly people in his family advise for him to wait because the ring is too expensive and there is no reason for him to start a life together in financial ambiguity. Though he heard, it was clear he didn't listen. At the next family gathering he got on one knee and proposed. She said yes. The family was elated. She cried. It was a joyous time. A few weeks later, this young man was seen looking a little distressed. He had pulled up his bank statements on the computer and saw a less then attractive balance. She knows nothing of his concerns still glowing from the aftermath of the proposal. If it were you, could you hear the Lord speaking? Is His voice audible or has the connection a faulty circuit due to the exchange of wills? And what about the women? If you were either of these women, would God be calling you to enter the challenge of your life in helping either of these men? And to be of assistance, does that require matrimony first?
Personally, I teach to clean up all of your drama before incorporating someone else into your mess. I was watching the showing of TNT, Hoarding. There was this relatively attractive man in his late 40's with an MBA and mild mannered speaking voice...actually, he would be ideal as a model of GQ Magazine (c). Anyway, he began a relationship with a beautiful woman. She was interviewed as well. I found this particular episode interesting because they decided to film at a crucial point in this man's life. he was the hoarder and was interested in establishing a relationship. He had not been in an exclusive relationship in quite sometime. The biggest reason for this was the hoarding issue he had not yet dealt with. He decided to go to a therapist for him to deal with his issues. Unfortunately, either he did not divulge with his therapist that he was in a relationship or he was given bad advice that just because he started therapy doesn't mean that he was automatically cured. Nevertheless, he decided, after keeping most of his time with her at her residence, he would allow her to see his home. She was excited but was not expecting anything wrong even though the introduction to her going to his place, "I want to share something with you about my life." Off camera, she stated, "what could it be? He's so tidy and organized in my home." And the director showed all the cleaning he would do in his girl friend's apartment. They drove up the driveway and she stepped out of the car. It was a nice Spanish Tudor and she commented on the beauty of the home on the outside. You could tell that he was getting nervous the closer he came to the door and opened it. When looked in for the first time and was amazed. Even with the sunken living room the garbage was almost four feet from the ceiling. Her reaction: "Are you kidding me? You are kidding me - right? Seriously?" He was more concerned with where she was going to step because all of his garbage was precious to him. She thought he was helping so not to fall in it all.
It took her a moment before she could digest what he was allowing her to see of him. She took a deep breath and said, "alright we can fix this. It will take a little time but all we have to do is start cleaning up. That's all." Off camera she told the producers that it was a shock but it was not a reason to give up on the relationship. She said out of her own mouth that she loved that man. There they were cleaning, little by little. I though it odd that he was holding her hand while she was cleaning - to each his own. Then when it came time for her to throw the first bag of garbage that was barely filled away, he went with her. Seemingly he was fine. The moment she threw it in the bin outside, he said, "okay, okay," and without releasing her hand, with the other hand grabbed the bag out of the garbage to go through it again. I missed the expression on her face when he did this. The producers did not show the more then likely intense discussion they had after he did this. What they did show was her getting in her car and leaving. The relationship was over. Even with the, I love you's, the this is no reason to break up's, and we can fix this's. She left.
In receiving the fullness of God (Colossians 2:8-10 AMP), there has to be a condition that is conducive to receiving. There cannot be a battle of wills when God tries to bless you. He has the blue print of when you were created (Jeremiah 1:5 AMP). He knows what is the best diet for you, the best place of employment for you, the best environment for you to reside, and when is the best time for you to marry. Yes, even though women were created for men, God does not desire for His daughters to be miserable wondering when they will ever be happy again as they labor in getting this man out of the crap he put himself into.
The Word tells us out of a good man's heart, there is good treasure (Matthew 12: 34-36 KJV). The Word also tells us that where a man's heart is, there will his treasure be also (Matthew 6:21 KJV). Make sure when dating, the interview is clear, concise, leaving no room for doubt.