If you served before dating, why do you think it changes? This is more true of men then it is of women. Women know that men need help. We are conditioned to serve. Why don't men have this same training?
I recall a young man telling me that his mother taught him not to be embarrassed when he had to go to the store to purchase his wife's feminine products. He also claimed that his mother taught him how to cook as well, just in case his wife would need for him to do so if nothing else for himself. He was pleased that he had all of these skills and knew it was a selling point to tell the woman of his desires for her to marry him. He did find a woman that appealed to him, yet when she asked him to do all of those things his mother had taught him to do, it was like pulling teeth from a brick. He found every excuse not to do it and called her lazy for asking him. It got to the point where he thought killing a bug was too much for him to do for her. His reasoning was, what if he weren't there and the children needed her protection? He said she needed the practice in killing bugs and spiders herself. Is it a wonder why she didn't feel affectionate towards him in a few years after they married? If she continued her service with a smile despite his services towards her, would there be consequences in his life (Matthew 5:44, Luke 6:35, Romans 12:14, 1 Peter 3:9 AMP)? Is God in agreement with this man and his reasoning?
A young woman, not knowing until brought to her attention, looked at her husband in disdain because he found it difficult to keep a job. She could not respect a man that had her as a wife and a family to support yet did not do whatever he could to stay employed. It became increasingly difficult for her to talk to him without bickering. She knew what her obligation to do as a Christian was, but for some reason, it was too much for her to be kind and loving to the man she promised herself to. Was it her fault? Because he cannot keep a job and is the head of her, could she lose her Christian principles? Did she have a right to be disrespectful towards him (1 Peter 3:2 AMP)?
A woman at her desk was called into her supervisor's office. The supervisor tells her that the work schedule is wrong so changes were made to make the schedule more comparable to the order of things in the work place. The woman looks at the schedule and sees that all of her days that she has had for the last 3 years have been changed. Her supervisor tells her that this is the schedule that they agreed to months ago. The woman disagreed and told her supervisor it was a mistake. She continued that she never agreed to those changes. The supervisor claimed that at the meeting with all of the employees at the beginning of the year never said anything including the woman. So it was the schedule agreed to and there was nothing she could do about it. The woman realizing she was fighting a losing battle gets up to leave. Just then she remembered that she had an email confirming the changes of the schedule were unfounded and not agreed to. She sends the email to her supervisor. The supervisor sends a response, there will be no changes to the schedule. Is this a fight that needs to be taken to Human Resources? Would it be worth it knowing this woman would have to go back and work with this same supervisor? Can she come back the next day smiling ready to work knowing that her supervisor is less then honorable? Would God be pleased if she did or would He be more pleased if she quit (Ephesians 6:5-10 AMP)?
We know who we are in Christ. We know what is expected of us. We know that if we don't pass these tests, the test will continue to come back until we do. When dating, people have such silly ideals they need to do in order to see what is the tolerance level of the intended. If anyone decides to do such mind games, walk away. He /she will continue to do so and it is a seed sown that you will have to suffer if you continue with the relationship anyway. If you leave while you can, pray for that person to stop playing the games, otherwise he/she will meet their match and won't like the end results.
I originally wrote this entry for the Kingdom Life blog. It answers the question, is this all there is or why a
Christian would question the keys to the life they chose. This entry does answer that question to some degree. It also answers to the Christian single why he/she isn't comfortable with their choice not to be married. People have reasons for doing and living in the matter they choose. Some like their mess. That doesn't mean you have to wallow in it too. If they can find a reason to retaliate when Jesus says that the revenge belongs to Him, who are you to do otherwise? You have more reason to smile knowing that you have an ally that has your back (Hebrews 13:5 AMP).