Sunday, April 20, 2014

Your Standards

One lesson that has been driven home for me over the years is to never settle for less than what you are believing for. Would that also be true for a life long mate and can women have those standards as well? You better believe we can and yes, it is most important for any life altering decision! Do you think if you don't lower your expectations, you will never be married? Puh-leeze, there are plenty of scallywags and dregs of society that are more than willing to take you for everything you have. Some take longer then others. In order to have that sort of future, go ahead without God. Crap will find you. You become a magnet for it.

There is a hoity-toity minister that announced every time she asks God for something she gets it. She then told us all that she wishes to be married and asked God for a husband. Don't get me started on the kind of faith she was using to make that announcement rather then keeping her request between her and God. Anyway, she concluded with that she expects to be married or engaged within the year. The year came and left. I wondered if anyone taunted her about that announcement she made. There were no prospects insight or maybe she was keeping the prospect her own personal secret ... or wishes she kept her announcement her own personal secret. Nevertheless, we learned a couple of lessons whether she was a willing participant in teaching them to us or not. One, keep your big mouth shut! Two, did she meet her Mr. Right, but didn't like what she saw? Remember, she is hoity-toity. What does that look like in a man? Ew or yum?

Years past, I have been waffling with the idea of being remarried. I have enjoyed being single and I actually like my own company. There is no drama unless I watch one in a movie. I keep my peace when issues arise in the work place and when I pray about the matter to God, there is no back lash or recollection of my past or anything of the like. When I put something in the refrigerator, its there when I look for it. The toilet seat is always down. My bed is made in the morning and the sheets are clean when I get into it. What's not to like about being single (Philippians 4:11 AMP)? Hearing compliments, a hug when you need one, conversation, and reciprocating power and strength right when you need a suddenly. So there is the waffle. In order to come to God with your request in giving up the single life, you must know that you know, it is no longer a desire for you ever to be single again. Go over my list again. Add in some of your own things. Is that more appealing to you then sharing every aspect of your life with someone else? Make your own pros and cons list. One for being married and the other for remaining single. Which list makes you smile more?

I wrote an entry entitled, Slim Pick'ns. Its one that is quite popular. In it I describe, mostly for women, how as we get older the selection of men being of a certain quality also begin to get less and less. While some women start to panic and think if she doesn't get someone soon she will be a spinster, I try to put the reader at ease. Its what we wish for. We hope that the selection gets narrower and narrower so that when we choose, its easy and mistakes are few. However, while we are waiting, which may seem like its taking FOREVER, notice a few things about yourself. The standards that you have placed for this person to be, can you meet them? Do you have rock hard abs and a tight tushie? Are your nipples pointed to the South or North? How intelligent are you? Are you pulling in 6 figures? What about the car your driving? Is it up to date or at least clean? Are you going bald? What do your toenails look like? If he puts the toilet seat down, do you use all of the towels or have your dainties dripping everywhere? Though some of these questions sound shallow, be honest. You do look to see if he/she does or has any of them, don't you?

And so when we answer these things and find that we have some cleaning of our own habits to get rid of, are we willing to do that? Is this where the settling comes from? We can't get the best that God has to offer us, because of ....US? Do we lower our standards to what we can tolerate yet it becomes intolerable as the years pass? Is that what has happened? You've essentially stopped fighting the good fight? Too hard to conceive? Think about it.

We like to think of getting this Boaz eventually if we maintain the faith. Or guys getting this dutiful and faithful Ruth if he does all that Boaz did. Look at what you are hoping for in real terms rather then the romantic ones. First, its the Old Testament and people were under a different dispensation. The curse was alive and in operation. Second, Ruth was a Moabite. She had not learned all of the ways of the Jewish faith. She was still being taught and along the way, she would have done anything to be remarried. Notice how she lied when asked where she should be in the field. Boaz said stay close to the maidens (Ruth 2:8 AMP). Naomi said stay close to the maidens (Ruth 2:22 AMP). Ruth said she was told to stay close to the men (Ruth (2:21 AMP). There are other places where Ruth takes liberties but it can be argued otherwise. This reference, however is clear. Boaz then had to finagle to get Ruth (Ruth 3:12-13 AMP). There was an order of things by which the marriage had to take place within the family. For Boaz to get his way, he had to be deceptive (Ruth 4:1-11 AMP). Do you see the common thread in Ruth and Boaz? Where was God mentioned in any of that? Did it all come out well in the end? I suppose so...look how many years it took before Jesus was born (Ruth 4:17-22 AMP). Should it have to be that long before the blessing can be in operation? The fairy tale aspect of it sounds wonderful and we don't think of it as a fairy tale because it is the Word of God. Nevertheless, if you don't see the matter in real terms, you cannot be set free (John 8:32 AMP).

Giving up the good fight is delving back into habits that should have been dead (1 Timothy 6:12 AMP). Ruth lied. Boaz was deceptive. The enemy is the father of lies (John 8:43-45 AMP). Why give him place? What happened to faith after asking God? Impatient? That's not good.

If you have high standards, that's wonderful. God's standards are also high for us to meet them so we can see Him more clearly everyday (Matthew 7:12-14 AMP). Now we place those sorts of standards on our potential mates because we mimic our heavenly Father. Again, this is good. God is pleased. But here is where the separation comes in. God teaches us how to get there. Have you prayed for your mate on a daily basis? Have you prayed for yourself on a daily basis? Your answer shows where your standards are. Selah.

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