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Flip The Script

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The purpose for flipping the script is for self preservation or obtaining the benefit from the outcome. It is removing the usual response and saying something so off putting that it causes the hearer to digest the information differently. It isn't playing mind games; it is however, guarding your heart, keeping your confidence, and maintaining a decorum of respect...that would be depending on with whom you have yielded yourself to ( Matthew 22:37 AMP ). That brief introduction into this subject is about to break some archaic barriers that many generations of sermons would have believers accepting that the definition of humility is as being like door mats and allowing the enemy to have all sorts of fun at the expense of our dignity. In this entry you will see otherwise and what it has to do with dating for the purposes of marriage in our chosen Christian lifestyle. Warning, what you are about to read used to be a saying my mother used to tell me as a child in order to curtail my beha...

Error: The Chink In The Armor

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 First, there is a reason why God tells us that in all of our getting, get understanding ( Proverbs 4:7 AMP ). The most important thing to know that everything God tells us is for edification, exhortation, and comfort ( 1 Corinthians 14:3 AMP ). He told us He would never leave us comfortless . He is our provision, our refuge, our fortress, and shield . He has called us to peace. He tells us over and over again to fear not ( Isaiah 41:10 AMP ). He says to be anxious for nothing ( Philippians 4:6-7 AMP ). All of this is in everything as we continue our journey in whatever He has called us to do....this is included in business practices, social cues, and most assuredly in relationships. Keeping the aforementioned in mind, I heard a pastor of a well known church tell the congregation the definition of insanity. Having been a follower of this ministry for years, I was always eager to hear a fresh Word from God through him. He proceeded to give the definition as "continuing to do the sa...

Trust, A Weapon Formed Against You (part 1)?

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Tony Orlando and Dawn was a singing group back in the 70's. Tony Orlando was singing well before then though. During that time, the hit, Tie a Yellow Ribbon was on the rise, and so was his weight. By the mid to late 70's, everyone noticed how he started to slim down. It looked effortless. He was on a talk show when the subject came up in an interview. Mr. Orlando explained that as a child and well into his adult years, he would always have a particular snack of a well known brand of chocolate cookie and milk. It seemed innocent enough when growing into his teen years and really wasn't noticing the weight gain until an adult. He didn't change much of his diet, he just stopped the seemingly innocent snack of milk and cookies. This is how the concept of trust has been used. When reading about relationships or studying about marriage and counseling couples, this concept is paramount in all aspects of the dynamic. Having the support of the significant other, there has to be...

Trust, A Weapon Formed Against You (part 2)?

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  Attending a Christian College to obtain a graduate degree, I was eager to begin the new semester. There were assignments, as usual, but my favorite part of any class was the essays. The essay we were to compose had to do with the subject matter of trust and where we learned this valuable lesson using scripture to substantiate the point of view. I don’t recall the content of the paper but I do remember some of the comments the professor had in the margins. He thought that it was funny. Still, at the end, he disagreed with my point of view and wrote, “ you have to trust someone .”  His comment perplexed me for several reasons. One it’s a Christian institution and I assumed those teaching are Christian as well. The other thing was that I used scripture to make my point valid and it didn’t matter to him. Finally, I wondered why I was allowing this man to teach me anything if he was going to oppose the basics of trust? The remainder of that semester became difficult for me to con...

Trust, A Weapon Formed Against You (part 3)?

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  Currently, my career has led me to a mental health facility where the job of Social Work is constant. The services provided are not only to the poor and homeless but also to those with higher levels of education and socio-economic status. It is an aspect of this field I had no interest to be a part of, but God. As I became more acclimated to the position, I have found a common thread in many of the mental health issues. For instance, if you’ve ever seen the television show, Hoarders, you realize that as the episode continues and delves into that particular hoarder, he/she has had some trauma in their life some sort of way and many of them have another common thread using thrift stores (estate, yard, or garage sales) as a means of escape. The facility where I am employed the common thread is the absolving trust within relationships. These relationships can be immediate family or long termed friendship or marriage. It takes therapy sessions before the patient can come to terms with...

Lights Out!

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Sometimes after church services, a group of us single women would find something to do. On that particular Sunday, we went open house browsing in affluent neighborhoods. The homes were so palatial. Far more spacious than what any of us were able to afford at the time, but God ( we said ). From one house to another we ooh and awed before noticing that it was getting dark. For us, that meant the blinds or curtains were going to close for privacy. These owners had no window dressing to use. It was the only thing we found odd, until leaving and saw how dark it was in the entire neighborhood...to the point that if it weren't for the owner leaving that light on in the house, we wouldn't have been able to see backing out of the driveway. There were no streetlights, no personal yard light, no porch lights - nothing. It was explained that the wiring was underground to minimize blackouts during storm season. Oh, we said in unison with a question mark. So they would prefer car accidents i...

Who Loves You, Baby?

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 Jenifer Lewis, a well known actress for many years and co-starred in the popular (yet cancelled) sit-com, Black-ish , made an interesting statement that assisted with the misunderstood notion written in these next few sentences. Aside from the "colorful" language and mannerisms that makes her the actress she is, she said something like, "look at yourself in a mirror. Who do you see? Once you get passed the tears, you have to love who you are." The misunderstood notion: you should never be a lover of yourself. Now, the task Ms. Lewis mentions would seem pretty elemental (look at yourself in the mirror). The question she says is pretty obvious (who do you see?). The direction though had me scratching my head wondering, if this would be necessary in these days and times (you have to love who you are). Aren't we past this point and ready to get our teeth into the meat and potatoes of a relationship already? And the answer is sadly, no. Why? In talking about dating...

You So Crazy?

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When I was in grade school, there was this guy. He didn't belong in our home room and he was driving his own teacher nuts, but he would come to my home room because he liked our teacher and the teacher liked him. His name was Danny. He was just hysterically funny. When class was about to start, our teacher seemed to hate to send Danny on his way, but he had to so work could get done. Danny liked to play and would have the entire class rolling in laughter. His home room teacher was very strict and didn't tolerate Danny's antics. In high school, there was a guy who liked to play around and joke too, only he waited when we had extracurricular activities like bowling or the school newspaper before he would start on his tirade of mischief. He was funny too and everyone around him seemed to always have a good time. There was this other guy from the church I used to attend, every now and again, he would come to visit my family and I. His name was Leon. My Mom would invite him ...

I Had This Feeling

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Do you remember when you first believed and the Holy Spirit came to visit? That all consuming peace and love made every situation seem menial. There is a measure of confidence that comes in with Him along with wisdom and answers to questions you thought you'd never get the answers to. That feeling of motivation to do what you are called to do. It's what keeps you quiet when you want to speak your mind and it's what makes you speak up when it's not the popular thing ( Acts 2:1-4 AMP ). I loved that feeling so much. I wanted it with me always; believing that going to church services would strengthen it causing me to always do the right thing. And then, seemingly all of a sudden I noticed it seeping away when justifying looking at television programs that weren't edifying ( Luke 21:34 AMP ). I noticed it seeping away when getting angry and saying the wrong thing ( Ephesians 4:29 AMP ). I noticed it seeping away thinking of matters from the past longer than I should h...

The Fruit It Bares

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The bible describes the righteous like a tree grown by the rivers of living water ( Psalms 1:3 AMP ). The scripture also tells us that we know a tree by the fruit it bares ( Matthew 7:17-20 AMP ). If you didn't already know, it is the Lord showing us how we can discern the types of people that are around us without saying too much. Just listen and watch what people do. It doesn't take long before it is shown if their intentions are for your good or demise. In the dynamics of relationships and dating for the purposes of marriage, it is paramount not to be impulsive and make quick decisions that eventually can be regrettable. There was this family of seven. The mother had 5 boys with 5 different men. She was engaged to a man who was willing to be a father to all five…only, because all were considered adults but one was a teenager, he was going to be undoubtedly challenged. He married her. Does that mean he accepted the challenge? The boys, from the eldest to the youngest began to...

The Background Check

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The wonderful world of technology has opened up so many different devices and strategies to use for business, school, understanding economy, investments, social media, and personal relationships. But along with the wonderfulness of what can be discovered, there are those who don't have the best of intentions like the cyber-hacks, social media trolls, the Karen/Kevin types, and those that make a profit from the stress of all of it. I recall hearing a sermon about getting all of the information one can get about a person before going out on a date by using the internet. The sermon expounded on believing that the internet has all of the necessary tidbits one needs. Granted, finding that a person is an ex-felon convicted of a host of crimes maybe information he/she needed to know. He, the speaker, also mentioned the temperament of the other as well as deciding to make future plans with this person…or not. The summary was being able to protect yourself. It sounds like good information....

I’ll Never Be Broke Again!

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 It’s been a few years since I’ve heard that sermon ("I'll Never Be Broke Another Day In My Life") across the pulpit and the congregation gets all emotional thinking about those meager days when food wasn’t plentiful and laboring more than your share of hours at work seemed like the answer. Exhausted with sore feet, we still believed that we were going to come out of it smelling like a rose by giving our family the best life they could have. It all seemed worth it when there was something to give for birthdays, anniversaries, Christmas, and affording a new Easter outfit for the children allows sighs of relief and satisfaction. Thank you Jesus. So, why did you have to go through that? God saw you struggling. God saw you when you were frustrated and about to give up ( Philippians 4:6-8 AMP ). What were the words that came out of your mouth when you didn’t think anyone cared and it felt like you were doing this all by yourself? Did you stay positive believing there is a ram ...

Hitching Your Wagon

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Having the proper tools to do a specific job, makes the task easier than not. If you had a car slipping into a lake and someone came running with a stick to offer assistance, you'd wonder what was he planning on doing (unless he's McGyver)? Yet, there are those that believe they can try and manage when there is a better way. We know of the parable of the house built on a sure foundation and when the storms come which home will sway and which will hold firm ( Matthew 7:24-27 AMP ). Could this describe you? If so, would this description also be true for every aspect of your life? The title of this entry is really a question: who have you hitched your wagon to? Given the same opportunity with the knowledge you have today, would you do it again? Have you done it before? What did you learn? The information in this post came from watching video shorts. There were these men, camping or fishing. They were trying to get a boat pulled out of the water and onto the hitch (carrier) to secu...