The marriage bed is the point of a sort of Utopia in which the Christian couple can partake thereof free from any sort of guilt (that is, if they didn't wait prior to getting married - just being real). It is where the consummation of the blessed union takes place. It is the reason many young people rush into things without checking for all of the other priorities first. It is the place where the couple begins their life together in bliss or the beginnings of constant turmoil.
I wrote a number of entries about the troubles a couple can receive if marrying on an impulse. This is not what I am writing for now. The thoughts of my fellow brothers and sisters in Christ not having a full scope of how necessary maturity in Christ must be in order to marry was bothering me. You see, when dating for the purposes of marriage comes about, there are two different people with thoughts and ideas of what they want in a marriage. Those two people lived lives in a household, more then likely completely different from the other person. These days, there are so many children that have survived ordeals conducive of actual warfare. From child abuse to seeing another family member be abused, it has an effect on the child even into adulthood. Children have been neglected in all sorts of ways and have grown up to do the same to others if not their own children. I have spoken to people, born again Christians, who are still in need of being delivered from making things appear normal to others outside but inside the home cause havoc. But one cannot tell this from the outward appearance of an individual. Prayers have been made and deliverance has met that need - in the name of Jesus (James 5:16 KJV).
This is why the church has to pray for the younger generation. It is the struggle and a temptation as to why many people have the idea of cohabitation before marriage. The old adage that is said, you don't know the other person really until you live with them has some credence - in the world. People who don't believe that Jesus is Lord can and will do whatever their flesh tells them (Galatians 5:19-21 KJV). Living together is a natural occurrence for them and whatever they do thereafter makes perfect sense. Nevertheless, we are in Christ and in Him values of Him have precedence being steadfast in patience and the fruits of the Holy Spirit (Galatians 5:22-26 KJV).
Keeping those principles paramount is why the marriage bed can be what the Word says that it is - undefiled. having the impulse of rushing into marriage does not change the scripture - not in the least. I use to wonder about the desires of people - even in righteousness. We all have desires and the Word tells us that in righteousness our desires are granted (Proverbs 10:24 KJV). God has given us desires for a reason. We can relish that in due season we will have the reward that all of those desires are going to be met - one way or another. You see, many times when we do that self examination, we have to clear out some old ways that should have died in our every day walk in Christ (2 Corinthians 5:17 AMP). There is a reason to get that mind renewed daily (Romans 12:2 AMP). The old has to pass away because the Word says it has to. God being who He is, is a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him (Hebrews 11:6 KJV). If you have desires that are not conducive of a holy nature but with remnants of carnality, then there is going to be a problem (Romans 8:6-8 KJV). One of those problems is your frustration in not getting what you want.
I went before the Lord in asking, why would there be infidelity with believers of Christ? How could this be with the knowledge of who God is (Hebrew 10:25-27 AMP)? How could there be carnality if the purpose of getting married was to be rid of all of that? How could a man in Christ still have a stash of pornography that he needs to look at now and again in order to perform sexually? Is it alright for a married person to look at someone else who is attractive but not to touch (Matthew 5:27-29 KJV)? Why would a man in Christ need "little blue" pills to make his wife happy? Do those pills make him happy as well? It is the stuff that has happened without the self examination and marriage went forth as planned. God is good and will not reward poor judgement.
If ever there be a question why she won't do such and such but she did this before we were married - you now have the answer. If she has a desire to do a thing and you don't know why she never mentioned it before, you now have your answer. If the idea of having a sexual relationship with your intended makes your skin crawl but everything else about the person is so good and right, you now have your answer. The Word tells us that heaven and earth will pass away but the Word shall remain (Matthew 24:35 KJV). There is no getting around that. The marriage bed will never be defiled (Hebrews 13:4 KJV). You cannot keep hidden those odd things you would like your spouse to do under the guise of being submitted to the other and expect good to come out of it. Either those odd desires you once had are no longer or you have fed them for so long, the desire to stay in the relationship will end. Its the one way or another I was referring to earlier. God's will be done.