A couple of months ago, I recall enjoying a message during Sunday morning services. The pastor has been teaching on a series about What Kind of a Christian Are You? It does make us all think about the lives we have been living and why matters are the way they are without anyone to blame but ourselves. There was one scripture that he referred the congregation to that I know I have read before but this time it stuck with me in such a way that I had to write about it.The scripture was Deuteronomy 24:5 KJV.
In raising my family (4 boys and 1 girl), I was so concerned about what my children were going to hear while not being in my presence, especially my sons. I figured my daughter was around me all of the time and I had some control over guiding her in the right direction. Every chance I got, I had to reiterate the verses from the scriptures and make sure they understood the practical application of the Word. I wish I had what I was giving them when I was their age. It was like a head start in life whether they realized it right then or not. Women weren't waiting for the men to find them anymore. They set their designs and were having at it no matter what anyone said. So I was vigilant in teaching my sons what they needed to know even all of those little secrets women have in getting their man!
With all of my teaching, I still didn't trust them to do the right thing. I read a blog from my 18 year old nephew who expressed that he couldn't take much more from his father ramming the Word down his throat in hopes that he would not make the mistakes his father made. Understanding where my nephew was coming from, I stopped and waited to see the fruit of all of the seed I sown in my children were to sprout or if more water is needed. Like it or not, they are going to make their own decisions and their own mistakes. My lectures after witnessing those mistakes had come to a screeching halt. Just in time to get what I needed from yesterday's message.
All of my children know what is needed in order for them to be married. There is no philosophy in allowing the two newlyweds to battle the financial difficulties through together - only sheer lunacy. That went out with World War II but no one let the other know about it. As Christians, we have to make continual reference to our guide of life - the bible. In it, we see what God did for Adam. He provided him with a place to live, a job, a vision, and provision to sustain what he was given. This should be no different for any man venturing forth to obtain his good thing. Why would a woman leave her parents' home to struggle with a man who had no other designs but to have sex legally in the eyes of the church? How selfish is that? Its no wonder she has problems moving so far away from her parents. Prove that you can do all of those things for her (before the vows) so she won't find it difficult to reverence you later.
The women reverencing my sons was also an issue with me. I know how strong women are and it doesn't take much for a strong personality to become a verbal piranha. This concerned me as well (at one time) and I made sure they could repeat the list of things they should have before embarking on matrimony. When one of my youngest sons eloped this year, I was beside myself. Why would he do such a thing? Who had a gun to his head? Thoughts were reeling, my child wouldn't willingly do this to me! What about all of the preparation and all of the other things I had said to him. He isn't ready! Why would he do this to me! For a few days I couldn't think of nothing else. I had to get myself emotionally together just to go to work for those few days. I had to make myself stop thinking about what he done without me...without my approval...without my permission. After those days were over and I stopped sobbing, I got quiet before the Lord. He reminded me of what I taught them and what my son did. My son made sure he had a good job with stability. He had saved a certain amount of money in the bank. He made plans for his wife to be well taken care of if anything were to happen to him. And the provision he planned for was there. It wasn't the way I would have done it, but he did do it. He listened.
Yet yesterday, with that bible verse, I wondered if he did do all that he was supposed to. He enlisted in the military. Did he take that year for his wife and cheer her up? Even with that, I could see God's hand. He did take that time. They traveled (chaperoned) and did take that time that the Lord tells all couples to do. I was pleasingly surprised. I woke this morning and thanked God, "he is a good son."
So what does this have to do with Christian dating? Isn't it obvious? Don't upset your mother!
Seriously, it adds one more thing to the list. If he is a guy that deals with a lot of business like a CEO or is managing his own business, make sure there is a year's salary in the bank so he can concentrate on making good memories with his newly married bride that she can cherish when he is away from the home. He is taking the time to solidify those things that he learned about her when he was dating her and at the same time preparing her to be satisfied in that home. That time strengthens the bond of the two that cannot be penetrated by man. Its a good step to add on to the plan.