I was watching a couple on some reality T.V. program as he had a discussion with her about marriage. He was interested in her but still had some issues as to where her mind was with their relationship and making a full commitment. So he asked some half hearted proposal; like, "what if I asked you to marry me?" Why would any woman answer that question?
This same question was asked of an older woman but with a man having the same issues as the couple aforementioned on a different show. She looked at him and said, "I dont know, why don't you ask me." He sheepishly smiled and didn't ask.
Now with both of these scenarios I can almost feel the tension of both men and women wondering if they should go ahead and answer the question as it was presented or don't bother asking at all. In both cases the answer would be no, don't answer the question and don't even ask.
When I was 13 this 17 year old guy use to come around my mother's home to see me under the guise of being my brother's friend. My brother knew what he was there for but my mother didn't. This guy would joke around but wouldn't try anything because he knew better than that. He had a tumultuous family life and for the most part my family felt sorry for him allowing him to come over time and again. Personally, he became irritating to me even at the age that I was because though most 13 year olds would have felt so grown up, my thoughts were on other things like growing up. One afternoon he came over to spend time with me. We were on the porch talking when he decided to ask, "you wouldn't be interested in being my girlfriend would you?" I was so surprised never having had the question asked of me but at the same time the way he presented himself and the question. I felt so sorry for him thinking about his family and why he comes over. I even thought that if I said no it would be one more horrid thing in his life that he would have to think about. So I said yes and avoided him the best I could.
Confident men like confident women. There is something about a woman who has a plan for her life and has every intention of getting there. A man sees this someone who has looked in all of that baggage from past relationships and has dealt with it. She is not a burden because of the confidence of knowing who she is in Christ. The same would be true of a confident man (Isaiah 32:17 KJV). He has a good outlook on life with a vision on how to get there. Because the woman was created for the man and her intent is to be a blessing to him, all she has to know is what is that vision he has and she is already in the works of completing what he couldn't do seeing that she is the help meet (Genesis 2:18 AMP).
Now there are those men that like confident women because of what she can do for him without him making an effort to do for himself. He is not confident and has no clue as to what God says about him (1 Timothy 5:8 AMP). Though the woman got rid of her baggage, she will have the burden of carrying his load because he didn't take the time to clean up on the inside as well as the outward appearance (Psalm 51:10 KJV). He is looking for a "Mommy" and as ick as that may sound, there are some desperate women to fit the bill only to resent that man within months of the marriage ceremony.
The point is, when a woman hears a "what if" question that is the inquiry of marriage, then it shows the lack of assurance he has in his faith and what God has said to him. If we come boldly before the throne of mercy (Hebrews 4:16 KJV), why then be scared when approaching His creation? If God says this is the one and she says no to a marriage proposal she missed God and you dodged a bullet because she was the one that wasn't listening and what if she continues to play deaf in the relationship? Yes, count it all joy and move on (James 1:2 KJV). Or as Jesus told His disciples when they were not received into the town they entered to report the good news, "shake the dust off ... (Mark 6:11 NIV)" Remember, flesh was created from the dust (Genesis 2:7 KJV).