For some it is because of choice. Paul thought it good to be single as well. He wrote if you are without a wife don't look to be married (1 Corinthians 7:27-28 AMP). Is it that Paul didn't understand the concept of marriage, the necessity of the institution, or would you believe that he contradicted the very Word he was teaching? God said it is not good for man to be alone (Genesis 2:18 NIV). We know that 1 puts 1,000 to flight but 2 puts 10,000 (Deuteronomy 32:30 AMP). Wouldn't this be solidified with two people in constant agreement with each other and has become one to boot? So what was Paul referring to being a Christian and a disciple? More about him later.
It could be a test of patience to endure the pressures, frustrations, the lonliness until you come to an understanding where the root of those issues come from? The pressure to settle down before all of the good ones are gone, the sexual frustrations especially at night and the isolation from companionship will not be resolved by taking vows you don't completely understand, exchanging rings, and celebrating the whole confusing ordeal.... I mean event. That test of patience allows you to be totally honest with yourself having answered the question, would you like to be married to you? To positively answer the question, you would have to love yourself. Well, do you?
Lists, at one time or another, we have all made them. It serves as a reminder of what you desire and what you will absolutely will not tolerate; but doesn't that also weaken the trust you have in God? Doesn't He know you better than anyone? So when your steps are ordered specifically toward a person and he/she doesn't fulfill all of your requirements, do you walk away? Would you be missing out on a blessing that only God knew of and the only reason you didn't is because you didn't ask? Lists about people seems to be a self made document reminding God of your insecurities. It is not a plan that you have made plain because people grow and are subject to change - just like you.
I told this to a fellow believer and she disagreed with me. She said her friend made a list, prayed, and got everything she asked for. I allowed her to have the last word before it became an argument. If the truth be told, why would that woman tell anyone that she got more than she bargained for? In my marriage, I was miserable but said nothing because I figured that no one made me marry that man; I did it on my own. So why complain about what I did to myself? I, as we do, learn from my mistakes and moved on.
I made a list based on my failed marriage. After tweaking it several times I realized I was creating what I needed to develop within myself. It is why some attract the very people they would rather not be around and why others don't attract anyone.
God witholds no good thing from him who walks uprightly (Psalms 84:11 KJV). Where is yours? Iron sharpens iron (Proverbs 27:17 KJV). The righteous attract the righteous. What does your group of friends look like - on the inside?
Paul wrote not to look for a wife if you don't have one because your mind would not be stayed on Him (Isaiah 26:3 KJV). Your own search would be an act showing a lack of trust. Because of these two factors, your mind would not be at peace. Deciding to find a wife at all costs is literally taking God out of the equation. How do I know? Because He presented Adam with a wife before the fall of man. Adam didn't go anywhere to receive her.
Aside from the pressures previously mentioned, women get this annoying feeling about child birth. It comes and goes for some of us and for others, they have allowed that feeling to rule and anxiety is the result. Here is something to ponder when those feelings try to rise up again:
What woman would run down the aisle if she knew that this is what she is going to get?
1. Queen Vashti got a divorce from a drunk King receiving advice from little boys who were worried about what the other women would do (Esther 1:1-21 AMP).
2. Bathsheba obeyed the King and had a child that died at the acts of that King (2 Samuel 11 and 2 Samuel 12:1-18 AMP).
3. Job's wife had all of those children and raised them only to have them die at the acts of their father and her husband (Job 1:13-20 AMP).
4. Sarai lived the majority of her life barren. Was she ridiculed by her community when bearing children gave men certain status (Genesis 15:1-7 AMP)?
5. Leah married a man who loved another and there was nothing she could do to change his mind. Giving him 12 children didn't do it either (Genesis 29; 30:1-22 AMP).
Would any of these women willing exchange vows with these men if they knew what the outcome of their life would be? Would you? And yet, it has been done over and over again. We have a Holy Spirit that leads us into all truth and tells us things to come (John 16:13 KJV). Why then be surprised when finding a cheating boyfriend, a woman who has more children then what she originally stated, a fiance who may still have feeling for his ex, and so forth and so on? Why when we see the red flags or the proverbial brick knocked up side our heads, we still proceed with the relationship?
If ever asked the question, why are you still single - you have your answer and can say with much conviction remembering the passages in this blog: "Because for me, right now, it is good!"
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