Thursday, July 22, 2010

When Does Beauty Fade?

For many of us we take the chance with this verse in the bible because we are so enamored by what we see, we don't realize that love just doesn't work this way - especially for the devoted Christian. If you would recall, God is love and it is impossible to please Him without faith (Hebrews 11:6 KJV). Seeing that faith is the substance we hope for and the evidence not seen, how then can we equate love based on what we see? With this understanding, we can tell that beauty has already faded.

The verse had also been taught that beauty fades because of age. But the verse doesn't say that. The lesson is taught based on again not experience but what has been seen. There are many of the elderly that if we saw a picture of what they looked like in their younger years, you couldn't recognize them. The mother of a high school classmate had family pictures on a mantel in her home. When I visited them, I saw the pictures and tried to examine them closer. The mate's mother saw me looking at the pictures and began explaining who each one was. I could recognize her husband and the family resemblance in other family members, but then there was this photograph of an absolutely gorgeous woman that seemed out of place with the other pictures. She didn't look like any of the other family members. The mother of the classmate paused for me to guess. She looked so pleased. I didn't know who that was. So I asked. She exclaimed with such pitch in her voice as if I should have been able to see - it was her! I suppose the expression on my face and the loss of pleasure she had in her eyes, said it all.

There was a series of films back in the late 60's early 70's where the main character's name was Flint. The actor was either James Coburn or Lee Marvin ( I usually got the two mixed up). Neither of these men are actually attractive and yet the producers gave him the role to play a handsome secret agent. I recall asking my mother what it was that caused the women to swarm around him. She explained that beauty is sometimes found within. Being a confident, strong man can also be very attractive. I suppose I had to be more mature to understand that reasoning was my next thought at the time. I do believe when my mother explained that to me, I was seven.

As a grown divorced mother of five grown children, there would be times alone I wondered what caused me to accept the invitation to date. Usually the men were very attractive. I enjoyed the attention and was ready to get more. Then in the conversation, some of them hoped on the temporary advice they received before going on the date. It use to be that women were drawn to those who could be funny. The comparison to Woody Allen comes to mind. To some degree, I liked to laugh and it was a selling point. But then, laughter wasn't going to pay bills and the realization of being married and homeless wasn't funny. Women don't use that universal description of men as much any more. So then the dates were very quiet - which was also very boring. I had dates that were action packed so there never was any time to get to know each other. Then the ones that were talkers on the phone. You know, the ones where the conversation ended with, "you hang up first, no, you. Okay we will do it together. (pause) Hello? You didn't hang up!" Yeah, I didn't do that. When he said, "hello?" thinking I hadn't hung up, I did and would no longer accept his calls. You see, for me the beauty faded.

Can you see, marriage isn't the eye opener? It is the fact that people grow up and change from how we use to think. If you marry based on looks then there is a fear that you will lose the foundation of the relationship - beauty. That fear gives the enemy place. It is a sin. Sin will look to collect its wage - which is death (Romans 6:23 KJV). Death of the marriage. Death of a relationship. Death of confidence. I see the verse of beauty fading as more of a warning to us all.

Remember the list of things you would like for your spouse to be? I am thoroughly convinced that any list that we might have about someone else is more of a list of the things we need to improve upon ourselves. Posing the list for God based on some other verse you found and using out of context, tells God that you are not using faith, you are insecure, and you just don't trust Him. Nevertheless, He will give you what you wish for and He is already there in that mire waiting for you to realize what you did when you created that list. You will be calling Him again, but this time it won't be as easy to get up from because now you know. Will you still do it?

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