Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Should Christians Desire Marriage?

Why would there be pressure to get married in the Christian sect? I don't just mean any sort of Christian. I mean the born again believer, professing that Jesus Christ is Lord and walking in love in all that you do sort of Christian. Can that sort - our sort, be pressured into getting married when he/she is perfectly happy being single (Hebrews 13:5 AMP)? What is the matter with being single? Is every believer the type to marry? Would your life truly be better and more fulfilling as a married person?

Seeing that each and every one of us have our own finger prints, that is how many of us are different and treated as individuals in the sight of God. If you didn't know, try doing the same thing someone else did to be blessed. Don't you hear it all of the time, I did that why did he get a new car for what he did (or an award, or a pat on the back, etc)? The answer is because he did what God told him and you did what you saw him doing. God told him to do this or that because of what he had been through prior to that instruction. You don't know what that was. So how could you get the same reward?

Some married folk are best friends all the way until the end. They almost walk in each other's shadow and enjoy each other's company beyond that newlywed year. There are no separate vacations. No consideration what life would have been like if the clock were able to be turned back. There is no hoping that he/she would find something else to do so the talking would ceased. And there is no feeling that the sound of the other person's voice is like nails against a chalk board or crunching glass in one's teeth would be more pleasant than hearing that shrill. It is the hope that God won't call the other home without him/her. It is the anticipation of seeing him/her come in the house/apartment after a long day. It is the excitement to share some news that no one else would be as excited about but that person with whom life is shared with. It is the oneness that is undeniably what the Word speaks of. It is what most Christian people hope for when making the decision to marry. Never a harsh word, never a broken promise, never an argument - who wouldn't desire this?

That's easy to answer. It's the one who sees all of the other marriages that don't have what is described above and the participants don't have a problem being vocal and public about it. It's the fear that there is a Jekyll/Hyde sort of person that is being aloof until vows are made. It's archaic views of a man who had his mother cut his food for him until he moved out and now expects his new wife to do the same. It's the woman who plans to have continual shopping sprees on a blue collar salary. Its the idea of being trapped and not being able to get out if you choose to. In a nutshell, it is not trusting God.

The only time I desire for a person to be single (other than asking me for a date) is when he/she is teaching me from a Christian perspective how to be happy as a single person - in single ministry. There are other things more aggravating and this is right up there with the top ten. How easy is it for a married speaker to be sarcastic with the topic of overwhelming sexual desire when after their eloquent speech they can go home and be with their spouse? Though the person was single at one point, it is difficult for the current single person to relate with the ease of the speaker. Of course you are at ease. But another single person has over come the temptations and can discuss each and every topic with relevant testimony and backed with the Word - he/she will be heard. Being single, I believe is a progressive stage to get to where God would have you to be. It is not a place where you are to stay in.

A man who has been single his entire life passed the age of forty should be asked a plethora of questions. Not because of a lack of trust in God but because of his reasoning as to why he waited for so long. Where was he? What was he doing all of this time? Why is it important for him to marry now as opposed to all of those years prior when all of his other friends married? Was he afraid? And of what? Those answers should satisfy the curiosity but if it only brings more questions, then go before the Lord for peace about the matter (Colosians 4:6 AMP).

A woman who has been single her entire life passed the age of thirty should be asked just as many questions. Though she is made for the man and not the other way around, she may have very well waited because she would rather not have children. Is that a problem for you? She may have thought her career was more important to her, does she still feel that same way? She may have had a complex about men from her past. Does she still have issues with men? With sex? With intimacy?

Marriage is a God idea. I believe it is available for every Christian who desires to marry. To those who don't have the desire as of yet, it could be because you aren't ready for that aisle walk and the until death do we part commitment. There is such finality in making that promise. Just remember when those fleshly desires try to raise up and you think it is better to marry then to burn, recall what Paul said about trouble and try to practice temperance. If it is too hard for you to master, then marry - it is not a sin for you to do so because of it. You have your reward - sex. But if you are looking for the complete blessing that God has in a good marriage, put in practice the fruit of the Holy Spirit in your time of being single. Making love that foundation by which you can stand, then you can receive the whole abundance Jesus came to give.

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