Apologies are necessary here. In writing this blog with the understanding of everyone starting from a clean slate with Jesus at the helm - no matter how you got there, we are there on the same path. The apology comes in with these entries being for those that continued to stay on the path of righteousness and the ones that went back and forth to resume the old life style that should have passed away and forgotten about (2 Corinthians 5:17 AMP). There is no condemnation here for the choice that you made - we have all been there in one form or another. If its not contemplating whether to stay with the one we chose (without marriage), its hoping that what is obviously horrific to most, isn't as bad as it seems.
So here we are with the bucket full of cleaning products. We (you, me, and Jesus) might not get all of those cobwebs and skeletons out of that closet to resume your prayer life - but its going to be a good start if you stick with it. By that I mean getting that slate clean again. Forgiving yourself and know that once you have made that confession God has forgiven you too (1 John 1:19 KJV).
This entry started with a woman who I did not know. She sat next to me at the library where I was gathering research for a Christian dating guide. I had just finished a rough draft of the book cover and she happened to notice the title. She asked about the contents of the book and I started to tell her. I was so encouraged by her words. She then said, "I hope you have a section about shacking up. My daughter wants to live right but he just won't marry her." I didn't have a chapter like that and wasn't thinking along those lines because the assumption of being on the same page, trying to be pleasing unto God took more precedence in me then anything else. Sure I made some colossal mistakes and wish I could have turned back the clock but for the most part, when I found what I did wrong, I did make the effort to make it right. He is just too real for me not to. I believed that once saved, the path for us all would be the same of joy and peace in Him (Romans 14:17 KJV). How naive of me. I had to change my whole frame of thought and the outline of the book. Once I did, it didn't seem as simple as all of that, so I put it down. Jesus said His way is easy (Matthew 11:30 KJV). When it gets difficult, I go to Him to get that ease back. This blog was the beginning of that ease.
Let's begin at the top and work our way down. This would be the man. Why? Because God created him before He created the woman. The man grows not just physically but spiritually. We can all see the stature of a man and his physical age, but that does not tell us of his maturity level and what he has on his mind and in his heart - does it? It is this maturity in Christ that gives him the tools and skills to be able to be the head of a household and the head of a woman. If he is without Him, he then gets into the territory of dictatorship and tries to force or control his spouse into doing what he wants. There is no love in that because the One who personifies love was not invited in to show what to do (1 Corinthians 13: 4-8 KJV). It is why when there are all of those babies with all of those different baby's mamas, it tells everyone this man has no control over himself. It also tells everyone what state the woman is in (Ephesians 4:14 KJV).
Which is the second part of this union, the body. This is the woman. She is the one who is managing the household and makes sure that the wishes of the head is being carried out. As archaic as that may sound, it only is because it has never been seen as being up to date. Keep reading and you will see how these principles are still in use and good in this 21st century.
For the longest time I pined for the days of Mayberry RFD, when mothers were at home for the children and the fathers worked to support the family. It was expected and anything extra-marital was considered something not to be done and if caught, it and the man were shunned. To feel like an outcast was not a matter that was flaunted, if done at all. Unwed mothers were sent to have their babies elsewhere. Not so much of being embarrassed and having the family disrespected but for the protection of the next generation not to repeat the same behavior. It was apparent that things were changing when it was known that President Robert F. Kennedy was having an affair with Marilyn Monroe back in the day. The bandwagon thinking was, if the President was doing it, it can't be all bad. Even after the President got killed did the behavior detour. In fact, The behavior became so casual and accepted that women would say, boys will be boys. Yes they will be, but why would a woman marry a boy?
Which brings us to Gloria Steinem and the Women's Lib movement. I believe it got its start from women working menial jobs for their husbands. The husbands to go through college for him to make a better life for the family but once finished he found other women who were as educated as himself. He left the woman who supported him through school for another and the wife had no recourse but to start all over again but this time with a load of children. There was no alimony back then for mid to low income dysfunctional families or compensation for women when left to fend for themselves. Child support was a wish and not something that could be enforced (1 Timothy 5:8 KJV). Women have learned and most understand to be independent at the onset instead of looking for validation from a man. These principles don't stray away from the scriptures. There is nothing wrong for a woman to build up the skills and talents God has given to her. It makes her even more of a help to the man that finds her; in fact, improving on those skills upgrades the type of man that she was created for. Can you see that?
It is only demeaning if you put yourself in that role to be demeaned. If you look at it the way God intended, its empowering for you to get an education. Focus on the things that give you joy and peace. The scrubs and wolves (scallywags and dregs of society) will see you as more of a threat then someone they would normally look to conquer. This goes both for men and women. The better educated you are the more you will expect from yourself. Of course you will desire someone who understands you - your equal. Get it?
The drama comes having expectations that you aren't willing to do yourself. People have used their talents to get fame and fortune without the education. The fame and money have caused them to hear the voice of God less and less. The Word tells us that we cannot serve Him and mammon (Matthew 6:24 KJV). When this verse is disregarded believing that he/she can still have it all is a delusion. God is not mocked.
I wrote an article about Whitney Houston and included all of the royalty of music that has also left this earth sooner then anyone thought. Yet as much as I go over the information that has been given to the public, the article fits in this post as well. With all of the commercials and campaigns against drugs and living a life that is destructive, how does anyone think that he/she can beat what others before them couldn't? Again, God is not mocked. Mistakes don't have to be repeated if your intentions are good. Hard as that lesson maybe to learn using the examples that I have, it is necessary. Don't let this history keep repeating itself.