Wednesday, April 18, 2012

Its Just Sex

The complacency of such a statement as if there is nothing to it, often happens when caught in the act. I know with the seasoned believer there wouldn't be such a phrase in the mind of one who knows that he/she is housing the Holy Spirit within (1 Corinthians 6:19 AMP). In trying to make it a cliche is what the baby Christian might still be struggling to contend with. How to decipher what is old and what is new is why I write this entry. You must understand that its not as simple as it just being sex. Sex is more complicated then people have coined it to be over the last 30 years. Once there is an understanding that sex is meant to be monogamous, there will also be a clear perception of the new. The old has passed away (2 Corinthians 5:17 AMP).

I heard this phrase when a man was trying to convince his wife that what he had with another woman while still married to her didn't mean anything. Of course he didn't believe this and the feeble attempts to explain this to his wife with such a statement proved that he was lying. If it were as simple and casual as all of that, why hide? Why not be open and honest about the matter. If it shouldn't matter, why not tell her/him this while dating? And if dating, why not be bold and tell of what is really on your mind when the relationship is new and emotions aren't involved. Answer: because it isn't as simple as all of that. What if the tables were turned and she was saying this to her husband after he caught her with another man? Would he be as willing to forgive as he expected her to be? Could she be as carefree as if it didn't matter? Is there a double standard where casual sex is concerned?

Let's explore this double standard and obliterate the lunacy of it. For some reason and for as long as I could remember, men have sowed their wild oats and when he was ready to marry, he went to church to get a suitable bride to bring home to his parents so they could be pleased of the wonderful son they raised and his selection of the woman he would like to add to the family.
She will bring him some wonderful sons. 
She's got good birthin' hips. 
Did you know she is a wonderful cook too
they would all say after seeing her a few times and asking her a barrage of questions just to make sure she wasn't all dressed up and covering the real slut that is within. Pleased with their son's selection, the wedding proceeds without a hitch. No one even mentions the wild times their son had before he brought this girl to them. No one mentions it because it is expected. It has been the order of things for years.

Now way back when they use to be called good girls. The good ol' boys were trying to date those good girls and bring home to meet Momma but at the same time try to get into her pants. As long as she refused him, she was considered a good girl. Eventually he would be upset at her refusals. It would be her fault trying to entice him by wearing perfume and lipstick (there didn't have to be a reason, he knew what he wanted to do before she got in the car). With another rejection at his attempts, his reaction would be calling her out of her name. Names like frigged, ugly and a wall flower. Feelings were: hurt, love, and confused; she didn't like to see him angry so she complied to what he wanted. Afterwards, he stopped declaring his all consuming love for her - there was no need. She would be thinking that because she proved she loved him, they would be together forever. Meantime, he is telling his buddies that he got him some of Peggy (or Sally Sue or Mary Lou, or whoever). Once that news was out, Peggy was not only popular but not suitable to take home to see anybody's Momma. Was it like that for the son that had as many girls as he could have before he settled down? No. That was then. Is it  any different now?

Actually, it is but in a very odd way. Not as much as one use to but there is still wild oats being sowed and women do theirs as well. With diseases being a foot, there is a little more caution then there use to be. Sex education is being taught at an early age because of the fear that children will be trying it anyway so why not educate them so they can do it properly (ha...well, that's what they said when I was in school). Teen pregnancies were on an all time high for awhile and now there are television shows about it and sitcoms! The premise being, that it has become a part of our culture and instead of fighting it, its embraced.Teens who have decided to be virgins until marriage or in love, which ever comes first, has to make a declaration so not to be tempted by outsiders. If you take both eras and put them side by side trying to find similarities but definitely noticing the differences - wouldn't you think it being odd?

I believe that some of the numbers in the divorce rate has much to do with this very same subject matter. Making sex casual is something that should stay in the movies rather then making it a life goal. Men don't like having a woman that has been around. What makes men think that women like a man that has been around? Is that experience that he has had with all of those wild oats the appealing factor? Will he have the experience to be a better lover with his final intended? If this is true, why wouldn't it also be true for his wife?  If she were more experienced, won't she be a better lover to him? And if this is such a good idea and has done well in the past, why isn't it written in the bible as instruction for us to follow on a constant (Romans 8:5-8 AMP)?

The truth be told, women carry the next generation in their bodies and so do men. According to science, women produce all of the eggs they are ever going to have while the female is being created in her mother's womb. Men's sperm is created on a constant as it is being used. Interesting as this is, the way God has created each and every one of us, how then can one use what God has orchestrated with such precision so casually?

Sex is not something that is needed for us to live. Food, water, shelter, civil rights is what is needed. Without this our quality of life is at risk. Sex is a necessity for pro-creation. Pleasure is exclusive to the one he or she has been saving it for. This is what should be said when the tempting line comes about. You know what I mean. When you tell your date no and he/she says, "but we love each other, right? What are you saving it for then? If you are ever asked that question, know that individual does not love you and the love of Christ is questionable whether it is in him/her. The true Christian would know the answer and never ask the question.

Its not just sex. It is intimacy saved for the one deserving of it. If you are watchful who you give your heart to, why be so cavalier about something as intimate as sex? Plus, whether you know it or not, as casual as you might think it could be, emotions do get involved. If it wasn't you the first few times, it will be. Then what? Should that person now be as sensitive as you have been with your past conquests? Consider your ways.

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